Thursday, November 24, 2016

813. Mathematics should be demonetized too

My daughter took an hour to complete this.

I congratulated her and bought her a chocolate bar. I did not want to frighten her by telling her that this is just the beginning and that she has to go through addition, multiplication, probability, trigonometry, geometry, calculus, Laplace and the terrorist called Fourier in future. Let her bask in the present happiness. Picture abhi bhi baaki hai Anya.

When I posted this on Facebook, a few friends came up with amazing revelations about mathematics. Those revelations pulled me back to those dreadful days I am adding some of them here. 

1. Elvis equated mathematics to racists and terrorists and I agree with him

2) Jenifer is a mathematics teacher and she came as a guardian for the science of mathemetics

3) Joe Philip reminded me of the dreadful Pythyakaara theorem

4) Finally Lakshmi Narayanan hit the final nail in the coffin

Do you have any memories with mathematics? Share them with me in the comments section.

Read my blog "Engineering mathematics is a Pakistan terrorist"

Wanna read funny posts? Like my page on FB


Wednesday, November 23, 2016

812. How to advertise when sangam is going in abaraadham

How to promote your business if you are not confident about your services and the products you offer?

  • The best way is to use sponsored posts on Facebook. I am not saying that all those who use sponsored posts lack confidence. But all those who lack confidence definitely use sponsored posts to promote themselves.
  • Use a good looking girl's image in the design. In the above advertisement where an enterprise is trying to sell "studying abroad", they have used a good looking girl's picture. When this image lands in a guy's notification on FB, chances are that he may click the interested button without even reading what the content is all about.
By doing these two things, the Facebook page will invariably garner more likes and the particular campaign will also receive many leads. The marketing team of that particular enterprise will have good metrics to project to their board. The management will be happy; but at the end of the day, business profits will be still low. IIPM tried a different variation of this technique and fell face down after some time. This is going to be the same case with all the FB pages that add likes in an inorganic manner.

But namakku Like dhaaney mukkiyam. So kaasu irukuravan pakkoda saapdunga. Ok Bye


Tuesday, November 15, 2016

811.Nehru maamaava? Chithappavaa?

Nehru maama Rojava vachurundhaaraa? That is one common joke that we used to crack when we were in school. I don't know if today's school kids also crack similar jokes. Today's children may have upgraded their jokes to some newer version.

In Tamilnadu we see Nehru as Maama; but in North India people call him chithappa (chacha). I don't understand how this confusion happened. The rift between north and south is going on for ages.

When I was in college, I decided to bunk classes once and told my professor that my maama ponnu ( Uncle's daughter) died. My professor immediately asked me to go home. Little did he know that it was October 31st and I was referring to Indira Gandhi. I ended up watching a movie in a theater.

Now when I am trying to figure out if Nehru is my maamaa or chithappa, I still could not arrive at a conclusion. The answer will tell me if she is my mora ponnu or my cousin sister. 

The funny thing about this father daughter combination is the fact that they wrote letters to each other; awarded themselves with Bharath Ratnas in 1955 and 1971 respectively. Yes; you read it right. They awarded themselves with the highest civilian award in the country. If this had happened today, social media would have gone mad and Arnab Gowsami would have cried foul on Prime Time Television. Their act only reminds me of those who like their own pictures and posts on FaceBook.

Infact there were jokes during my school days that India got its independence when Mountbatten decided to run back to England along with his wife because he was scared of Nehru Maamaa and his romeo skills. That is how engrossed we were with Indian history. We had zeros subject knowledge about Mughal history and Indian history; but indha maadhiri matter ellathulayum naanga appovey PhD.

But one sad thing that I am not able to digest today is that the one waist coat that was always synonymous with Nehru is now relabeled as Modi coat. This is why I believe that varalaaru is romba mukkiyam or else we will be calling Nadhuram Godse as the father of Dineshan in the future.

The following picture of Nehru and Indira Gandhi is my favorite because Charlie Chaplin is in it. People like him inspire me a lot because they always spread smiles on our faces.

BTW,  belated Children's day wishes to all the children out there; that includes 50 year old aunties too.

Can someone tell me "Nehru maamaava? chithappavaa?


Wednesday, November 09, 2016

810. Daddy's little princess

When I carried you for the first time, I cried 
And walked around the hospital with so much pride

Looking at that cute little face that very first day
I promised to never allow any harm come your way

That Oriental face, Michelin arms and tiny feet
Made me smile and my heart would always skip a beat 

As you sleep peacefully every night
I wish to protect you like the dark knight

Many a time I spend too much time on Facebook
And fail to give attention for your longing look

I do not know what you want to be when you grow up
What ever you pursue, I will always back you up

The world is gonna be good and bad to you
But you should know, Daddy is gonna be there for you

Anya, I would like you to know one thing 
You are my little princess and my everything


Click here [link] to read my daughter's blog

Thursday, November 03, 2016

809. Evading a transgender in Chennai train

I spent more than two years of my life in this place called Bedok, Singapore. Everyday I used to come to the station to board a train to go to different places. It is one of the calmest neighborhoods in Singapore. Here in this photo, I am posing with the Varungaala America Janaadhipathy- my friend and jolly good fellow, Sendhil Kumar. There is never a dull moment when Sendhil is around.

The highlight behind this picture is that this was clicked just seconds before I jumped into the MRT line and stopped the train with my little finger. If you are thinking that I am bluffing here, you have to check for this real news that came in Singapore news papers on Jan 10, 2010.

What I love about the MRT lines in Singapore is that people respect the yellow line in the platform. No one dares to cross that line. People respect rules religiously. Even when they enter the MRT, they stand in a queue and wait for their turn to walk in. 

Totally a different mentality from the local train life in Chennai. Here in Chennai, people enter the train from every possible hole. What scares most people in Chennai travel is not the crowd; but the manner in which one is treated by transgender people.

I have nothing against transgenders. They are human beings too; but I don't like their attitude in train travel. I have been subjected to sexual abuse by transgenders in Chennai trains where they have grabbed by private parts when I refused to give them money. Some of them threaten for money; some of them touch people in a sensually ugly manner and make them part with their money and some even go to the extent of kissing people.

I remember a train travel with my friend Rajesh (From Tambaram to Egmore). It was an era in which train travel was the much preferred travel mode for all youngsters, thanks to Alaipayudhey movie. Rajesh and I were standing near the door when a transgender (Let's call him Rose) entered the bogey and demanded money from us. 

Little did Rose know that Rajesh and my "sangam was going on in abaraadham". When we told that we did not have any money, the threatening started; but no one knew who Rajesh was. Rajesh was the kind of guy who does not have soodu or soranai (A trait that I have; but Rajesh was worse than me).

When we did not give money, Rose started touching Rajesh inappropriately. Rajesh immediately started talking in Gaundamani voice and said " Ingey thodu, angey thodu" and started guiding Rose to touch him everywhere. This shocked everyone including me. All the scary tactics adopted by Rose went down the drain. So as a last resort Rose said that if we do not give money Rajesh will be kissed on the lips. 

But before anyone could react, Rajesh pounced on Rose and started smooching. Infact he almost bit the lips off. The next station arrived Rose escaped from Rajesh's grasp, jumped onto the platform and ran away. Even today when I see a transgender threatening people in train, I wish that Rajesh was there.

Note: Hi Rajesh! You asked me to write about you in my blog. I have done it. Now please treat me

Read this story [ link ] to know how three Eunuchs attacked me during train travel


Wednesday, November 02, 2016

808. The couch in my father's house

Thats the wooden sofa in my father's house that is as old as me. That's also the same sofa that made me a couch onion. Few points about the photo

1. Photo clicked during December 2010

2. I am strumming a freshly composed christmas song

3. The egg shaker is near the paper

4. The blue shawl around my neck was brought in Chandigarh after heavy bargaining with a road side seller; he told it was Rs250 and I bargained it and got for Rs 245

5. The guitar is my favorite Spanish guitar; I bought it in Guangzhou-China in 2007

6. The white short kurta I am wearing used to be my favorite kurta from Fab India; I used to wear it everywhere; My mom converted it into a Kitchen Kari thuni

7. That sofa is where I used to lie down and watch movies

8. I recorded the song and caught it on camera after the above picture was clicked; the song video is added below. Listen to the song please

9. I did not shoot the video with a potato; I have to say sorry for the poor quality

10. What brings me more joy is that this tamil folk format song is now sung around the globe in many churches during Christmas season. The below video is a four part version of the same song sung by our Choir. I am standing on the extreme right