Tuesday, September 06, 2016

804. Setwet deo - Swag Avatar

I received a call last night that a friend was admitted in the hospital. He was my childhood friend Ashok. He is 34 now and after a long struggle to get married, found a girl through a matrimony site and got engaged to her. He is getting married in December this year. So when I received the news that he was admitted in the hospital, the first thing I asked the caller was if he was critical. The caller said that he was in the emergency ward
I rushed to the hospital and when I found the reason for his illness, I burst out laughing. He had suffered a concussion. He barely managed to avoid head injury. Apparently he was preparing to go out on a date with the girl he is engaged to. It was his first ever date in his life. The closest he has come to a date was when he acted as a driver for me when I went out on a date. He lacked conversational skills and he would put off a girl in seconds with his conversational skills.

His first ever phone conversation with his fiancee was as follows
Phone rings, she picks up and says hello
He: So... What next?
She: Tell me Ashok. You start the conversation like that?
He: Hmm
After an awkward 10 seconds of silence, she tries to liven up things
She: Did you have breakfast?
He: Yes... Then tell me?
She: Are you planning to go to office?
He: Yes
She was literally pissed after this phone conversation. So as a good friend of my friend, I decided to take some dating lessons for him before he took her out on a date. I told him to prepare some interesting topic around trending events  (Movies, music, Olympics, US open, books, art, places in Chennai, his childhood memories) and also asked him to have 5 jokes to crack at regular intervals to make the date memorable. He even took notes.
So one day before the date, he called me and said that he was ready with the 5 jokes. He also said that he read the newspaper and he has covered the latest news including sensex and foreign exchange rates. I realized that he has studied some out of syllabus topics too. But I did not discourage him. He added that he had brought a suit for his date. I was happy. I should have just let him go. But I did the grave mistake of telling him to apply some deo; because he usually smells bad.
He had bought Setwet - Swag deo thinking that he would show his swag side. Enthusiastically, he had doused ample amount of deo on his body. Within minutes he had fainted because he could not bear the smell. His room mate found him semi-naked in his room (unconscious too). Ashok was wearing his shirt, suit and his socks. His underwear and his pants were still unpacked and were placed on his bed. I still don't understand why he wore socks.
Back at the hospital, we all had a heart laugh. Ashok's fiancee was also at the hospital. His room mate failed to click a picture of Ashok in his room. His deo smell was still strong at the hospital. 
Note to readers: If you are planning to buy setwet deo, think twice
Additional note to readers: I have a setwet deo too (The mischief avatar). I spray it inside the western commode once in a while after cleaning the toilet with harpic.
I know you would be dying to see a picture of Ashok and his fiancee. But I won't add it now because if I add the picture, he would not invite me for his wedding. After december, I will add the picture for sure. Some one has to remind me of this after december



  1. I tried trolling your FB friend list to see who that Ashok is, but unfortunately it shows only mutual friends :p

    1. Do you think I would have directly given the names away? I want to eat his wedding biriyani.


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