Friday, July 29, 2016

799. The beautiful sister

Facebook suggested me this ad in my timeline. It irked me for many reasons

It was an ad where a beautiful girl's picture was shown. I first thought that it should be a cosmetic ad.

But then I saw the word "Gift your sister". This made me wild. How can the advertising brand call her my sister?

That totally put me off. This is the same thought that would have hit all the men who saw this ad.

The second thing that caught my attention was that this pendant that was advertised in the ad was labelled as "Jewellery for women safety". 

It doe not have a pepper spray, nor does it have a laser gun attached to it. In that case, how on earth would it give women an assurance of safety. It seems there is a chip that alerts people on their phone when attacked. The chip that costs Rs 200 to make is now being marketed for Rs 4000/- just because it finds itself in a jewellery.

To make matters worse, the pendant is long and is strategically placed between the girl's breasts. Is that a safety mechanism? I don't know. May be safety experts might know it best. 

I came to know that the pendant almost weighs 200 grams. With such a heavy pendant, those girls who wear the chain will develop spondylitis.

Verdict: This ad is a big fail for all the men

The word Raksha Bhandhan always gives me nightmares. And advertisements like this make it an unpleasant experience for me

Read my post exclusively written for guys on how to run away from girls on Raksha Bhandan [Link]. 

Read this post that talks about the different types of Annas you will come across on Raksha Bhandan [link]

- Chronicwriter

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

798. How to be a good writer

My friend pinged me on Facebook and asked me "Chriz! What should I do to be a good writer?"

That one pop up message on my FB messenger is the reason behind this post. The word Good is highly subjective. What's good for me may not be good for others. I consider a certain IIM grad writer as a good writer because he is a great storyteller. But a majority of grammar Nazis hate him and say that his English is not up to the mark and he is not fit to be called an author. I don't think he gives a damn about all the taunts he goes through. At least he is doing what he loves to do and he also knows how to make money from that; which is not the case with almost all who criticize him. BTW, if you are gonna hate me for supporting him here, let me tell you that he has blocked me on twitter because he thought that my jokes were on him.

Now let me come back to the post. How to be a good writer. Let me rephrase it. How to be a good story teller! I think I am eligible to write on this topic, because I have tried the art of story telling on a one-to-one basis (with my daughter), to a group of hundred people (in college) and to a crowd of ten thousand people (events) and succeeded in getting positive responses. 

So this is what I do when I prepare a story. I would first set the basics right. I would work on my strengths and push my weaknesses under the carpet. 

In my case, my strengths are humor, concluding a story and simple language that connects with all age groups. My weakness is my English. I make a lot of grammatical errors, typos; editors and proof readers will even doubt if I am a writer in the first place.

How do I work on my strengths?

  • If the blog post has 10 paragraphs of three lines each, I would make sure that there is a humor element in all the 10 paragraphs. I would build the tempo in the narration that the humor element connects well with the climax of the story
  • I work a lot on the plot ending because I believe in leaving a lasting impression on my readers. I have at least 3  climaxes for every story and choose one among those based on my instincts. At times it works and some times it has bombed too
  • When I type, I type as if I am conversing with the laptop. The lap top becomes an imaginary friend and as I type, I make sure that I know that the laptop is listening to my story with great interest.
How do I sweep my weaknesses under the carpet?
  • I never use heavy words to tell the world that I am a writer. This is one mistake many make. Just to prove that they are good in English a lot of amateur writers force fit GRE standard words in their story. 
  • I use simple short sentences to convey the message
Now once my strengths and weaknesses are taken care of, the rest becomes easy. Have a great opening, a smooth flow and a tight climax. As you type your story, you should first love what you write. Never become preachy  (I know this line itself is preachy) because no one wants to listen to that. Make a lot of mistakes. Never ever feel bad when people treat your writing like shit. But always keep an eye on why they treat it badly. If you have an urge to become a good writer, you will succeed in writing.

Who knows? You may even publish a book tomorrow. If this post has inspired you to write or start a blog, I'd be happy. Keep writing.


Monday, July 11, 2016

797. The Indian super hero who is stronger than Captain America

My nephew Jeremy is a big Captain America fan. He is born and brought up in Amrika land. I find it difficult to catch up with his accent; so when he talks to me, he changes his accent and tries to speak to me in with an Indian touch. I, on the other hand try to add an American accent to my English and end up sounding like Rakhi Sawant.

My nephew - Jeremy, niece -Jolena and my daughter Anya having a good time in the train. I know this photo is not related to this post. But I am adding here to let my readers know how Jeremy has grown.

Jeremy likes Captain America and Flash. We were sitting in the drawing room, when the following conversation happened between us

"So maamaa, Is there any Indian super hero you like?"

"Yes, I like Shakthimaan."

" Who is that?"

"He is Gangadhaar with a mask"

"What is his super power?"

"He can spin like a top and he can fly"

"But maamaa, Captain America can do all these stuff and he and Flash can also create tornadoes. Can Shakthimaan do all that?"

" No Jer! I don't think so"

He was happy now. He had a sense of victory. He started jumping around the house thinking that there was not even a single Indian super hero who could match these American Superheroes. I let him jump around for some more time.

"But Jer! There is an Indian super hero who is much powerful than Captain America"

His smile disappeared. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and asked

"Do you mean to say that he can create tornadoes like Flash?"

" He is a tornado himself"

His eyes widened and I could sense defeat in his body language for the first time. But still he had other questions in his mind.

"What is his name Maamaa?"

"His name is Vijaykanth"

"What are his superpowers?"

" He can jump, fly, do somersaults in midair, catch bullets with his teeth, bullets bounce back from his chest and kill the bad guys, He can singlehandedly destroy Pakistan terrorists, girls go crazy about him, he can give electric shock to the electric transformer"

"But that sounds like Chuck Norris"

"No No. We have an Indian super hero who is better than Chuck Norris. But I am not gonna talk about him here because I am his fan too."

" Is Captain Vijaykanth really that good?"

"Yes, he can also do yoga and if you misbehave with him, he will also say,"Thoo". So you better be careful."

"Can I watch his movies?"

This is what I wanted.

We watched Narasimha, Virudhagiri and Arasaangam and Jeremy has finally accepted that Captain Vijaykanth is powerful than all the American Superheroes. We are going to watch Gajendra this week. Anyone care to join?

If you want to read my review of ARASAANGAM, click here [link

- Chronicwriter