Wednesday, March 16, 2016

783. Kids say the darndest things

Warning: Though this post is about kids, it has some content that talk explicitly about private parts. If you are not comfortable reading explicit usage of private parts, please don't read this post.

I am a sucker for the Art Linkletter/ Bill Cosby show "Kids say the darndest things". I guess all of us love to listen to what kids have to say. I have a 3 and a half year old daughter who surprises me all the time by saying the funniest and weirdest things all the time.  The Bill Cosby show is adapted into Tamil also where Imman Annachi does a decent show with the kids. Kids are adorable and at times they are dangerous too. Last week a child shot his own mother from the rear. We never know what they would say or do. These points mentioned in this post is a testimony of how dangerous these kids are.

1) Never ever make funny faces at kids in a shopping mall. The kid might spit on your face.

2) When the kid is sitting on an elevated platform, never go and stand closer to the kid and tease them. If they kick, chances are that they might kick you right between your legs where it hurts.

3) While sitting close to a kid in a bench in a public place like a play ground or a place of worship, never ever fart (even silently). The kid might shout out loud saying "This uncle just let out a fart".

4) When a kid has a stone in his hand, you should respect him. You would not want the kid to hurl the stone at your car windshield.

5) When he parks his tricycle in the middle of the road blocking your car, you are supposed to request him to move the cycle. If you plan to take matters into your own hands, by moving the tricycle without seeking permission from the kid, chances are that you might never find answer to the sudden appearance of scratches on your car door.

6) Home alone and Baby's day out are not children movies. They are dangerous movies and they should be banned. My daughter watched Home alone, the other day and the house is now full of traps.

The above 6 points are personally tried and tested by me.

Now let me take time to share some of the funny stories narrated by some of my friends.

7) Minal Kusum, a FB friend of mine has the following information about her son

My 4 year old was in the shower and yelled, "MOM! I found my brains!" while squeezing his testicles.

8) Lisa Wells shares her story

My husband was in the shower, and our (then 3yr old) daughter had to go pee. I told her to go ahead and go. When she was done, she flung open the shower curtain to tell daddy something, he screams a little high pitched scream and pulled the shower curtain shut, and told her to get out. She comes out, looks at me very seriously, and says "mommy, I saw daddy's penis. It was huge!" She then spent the rest of the day telling any one and every one "my daddy has a huge penis!" So. Embarrassing

9) Melanie Mayer who works in the day care shares the following story
I work in daycare and a 2 year old was very interested in breasts because his mother was nursing a new baby. After telling me I had "nice big boobies" and I said "oh thanks" (because I didn't know what else to say lol) he looked at me and said, "Are they for feeding all the babies over there?"
Like I was the daycare wet nurse lol

10) My cousin told me the funniest conversation she had with her then 5 year old son:

 "mom, if i have a penis in the front, then the back must be my poonis, right?" lol Genius really. I love how little mind work.

11) Kids imitate and just copy everything from elders. Vera Pol a 28 year old mother of a 2 year old boy has some interesting stuff to share
My 2yr old heard the shower turn off he asked if I was finished having a shower I said yes he said "Mum, did you wash your balls"

12) My Chinese friend Amy Young has this funny incident to share
We took my niece to the beach when she was 2 and she removed her bathing suit and diaper while my back was turned. My 5 year old son said " look mom she is showing her fine china". Later after I thought about it I figured out he meant vagina.

13) Kristie, a pen pal has this funny story to share
My daughter was 7 when her new baby brother was born and when his belly button fell off she pointed to his wee and asked "when is that gonna fall off" hahahaha



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