Monday, June 15, 2015

733. I am buying a Buffalo

My great great great grand father was a shepherd boy. He used to roam around the Southern part of the country with a herd of Buffaloes. 

When I was in class ten, my father would tell me that he would buy me some buffaloes and make me take care of them, if I scored low marks in exams. That thought would scare me and I would study well. 

But when I picture it now, I realize that it would have been fun. Imagine walking in the roads of Chennai in formal attire along with a Buffalo. Would not it be cool? 

My friend Rajesh thinks that owning a Labrador boosts his social status. He takes his huge dog for a walk in the evenings. He also has a huge Bull dog that actually looks like a Pig that rammed its face in a truck. Those dogs are his prized possession.  

If walking with huge dogs boosted his ego by making him think that he was in the elite club in the society, just imagine how it would have been if I were walking on the roads with a Buffalo. I would have made Rajesh feel so inferior that he would have start treating mongrels equally.

Some people's fart are so strong that when ever they fart the walls of the house start shaking. My friend Thirumalai  (name not changed) is an expert in the art of farting. He always farts out loud with DTS effect. His gaseous exploits are powerful than the sound released by a 500 CC Royal Enfield bike. 

The other day we were in a lift and he did what he does best and the make up of a girl in the lift fell off from her face. It came as a surprise to us because after the make up fell down, I could actually recognize her. I said Hi to her and we had lunch together. I should thank Thirumalai for that fartistic attack without which I would not have recognized Sheeba.

Today I met a girl in the lift and when she smiled at me, I did not recognize her. 

She: Hi Chriz! How are you?

Me: Excuse me! But do we know each other?

She : Man! I am Sheeba.

If only Thirumalai had been there in the lift along with me, her make up would have fallen off and I would have recognized her. Sad, that he was not there in the lift. Sheeba's make up had a similar smell that was in our house when we painted our house.

How did I end up writing about Thirumalai in this post? It still beats me. I am yet to figure out how my thought process works. May be, Thirumalai's back and the Buffalo's back looked similar.

If you are thinking that I am insulting my friend Thirumalai in this post, you should realize that I am actually doing him a favour. He copies my blog posts and circulates it in our google groups as if he wrote it. He does not read any post.

So I am sure he would just read the headline and see the buffalo picture and would arrive at the conclusion that this blog is a funny post on buffaloes. Before he finds out that this is actually a tribute to him, it would be too late.

Enjoy Machaan!!! (This is for him)

- Chronicwriter


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