Thursday, November 27, 2014

688. My first college bunking experience

This incident is from my Engineering college life. It was the year 1999. I was in first year of the Electronics and Instrumentation Engineering course. Even now, I don't know why I took that stream, nor do I know anything about that stream.

But still I have a bachelors degree in Engineering. That's the irony of doing Engineering in B grade Engineering colleges in India. Let me get back to the topic.

I did my Engineering in Pondicherry. The college was located at the outskirts of Pondicherry - 14 kms from Pondicherry. It was actually in the middle of a forest.

Even if we wanted to bunk college, we had no place to go. The only place we could go was loiter around in the forest. I had never bunked classes during my school days.

During the first year in College, I found that the faculty was not experienced and they had no clue just like the students there.

Some of the professors just mugged up the books and vomited on us. This is what happens when freshers are employed as lecturers by the college management for less salary.

I had three close friends in my first year of College. Ramesh, Jerry and Ravi. All of us had never bunked classes in our school life.

So we decided to bunk class during our first year in college, travel 14 kms to Pondicherry, watch a movie and return back to college by evening. As it was our first bunking experience, we did a lot of planning.

Step 1: The movie was selected. It was a new release called  "Sethu"
Step 2: We arranged four guys in our class for giving proxy attendance for us.
Step 3: We hatched a plan to escape from our campus that had huge 10 feet compound walls. First we decided to escape from class after the first period was over. We decided to go to the boys hostel rest room which next to the 10 feet tall compound wall. We planned to get on top of the rest rooms in the hostel and decided to reach the compound wall and escape from there.

The day started well. The sketch went well as we had planned. After the morning assembly was over, we went to the rest room. We stayed inside the rest room till the classes started. Then we sneaked out of the rest room.

We all got on top of the rest room. I was the smallest of the four and I climbed the wall in a jiffy. Jerry and Ramesh also joined me soon. But Ravi was on the fatter side and he found it real hard to get on top of the rest room.

I tip toed on the roof of the rest room ( Asbestos Sheet) and reached the wall. Jerry and Ramesh followed suit. We jumped on the other side of the wall and waited for Ravi to reach the wall.

All we heard was a shattering sound. We understood that Ravi had placed his legs in the centre of the aspestos roofing and it shattered.

We did not know what to do. Then we heard an agonising cry which sounded like Usha Uthup's voice in G major scale. It was Ravi. We climbed back into the college and found Ravi inside the toilet with a broken arm.

The next moment , we lifted him and carried him to the college Administration room and soon we were in the college van accompanying Ravi to the hospital.

We created a story too. A big stone was placed in the CRIME SCENE to tell the college authorities that miscreant from outside had thrown a big stone towards the college hostel and Ravi happened to be a victim because he was taking a dump in the loo.

For the next three months, we had security around the boys hostel toilet. I am revealing this secret after ten long years. Well! That was my first college bunking experience.

Note: Is this a true story? You gotta ask my college friends. Ravi, Ramesh and Jerry! I request you guys to confuse people even further.


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

687. Take that extra effort

I have been trying to publish a novel for the last 6 years. I have not succeeded in it. Procrastination, lack of interest and discipline and getting bogged down often are the reasons for this lag.

It would be a great feeling to finally publish the book and release it. Many of my friends have published books. Many a time, I look at them and think "Why I am unable to do so?".

Yes I have a goal. I know I can achieve the goal; but still I am unable to reach there yet. Why?

We all know the answer. The answer is simple. If we really try with all our heart and when we put effort, it will reap good results.

On paper, It looks goods and it brings a smile on my face when I read such inspirational lines. I have often shared inspirational quotes on my FB timeline. Many have said that those lines have inspired them. If I could Inspire others to achieve success, why am I not able to achieve it?

Two days ago, I was watching a football match where my favorite two players Neymar and Messi were toying with the opposition. In the same room, my daughter and my mom were also playing with a ball. After a point of time, I started noticing my daughter. The game that she played with my mom became more interesting. I started watching her strategy.

My mom would throw the ball at her and Anya would try to catch the ball. Every single time, she failed to grab the ball. I started counting the number of misses. She almost missed catching the ball for more than 50 times. But she did not give up. She had the same energy, smile and determination and she kept on trying.

It looked like a simple fun game between a grand mother and her grand child. But a valuable lesson was hidden inside it. Did my daughter finally succeed? You have to watch this video to see how determined she was. I captured it all on cam.

Have I learnt my lesson? Until I put it in practise, I have not learnt my lesson.


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

686. Can a girl pee in Public?

When my friends and I go on long drives, we always stop somewhere in the National highway after a three hour drive to ease ourselves. The men would always stand on the edge of the road and pee on some bushes. The women will sit inside the car and would control their bladder till we find a Public rest room.

Public rest rooms in most places India make you throw up. Most of the rest rooms around the country do not have good sanitation facilities. Many public rest rooms have dried and decayed excreta. Hence many people do not even dare to venture into the public rest rooms.

The following statistics will show you how many Indians suffer because of sanitation problems.

1. Nearly 600 million Indians do not use toilets in India. That is almost 50 % of the Indian population. 
2. There are 940 women to every 1000 men in India. 

Did that send alarming signals to you? 

Yes, women are the main sufferers when it comes to sanitation. See the following two cases where we see how Bablu ( a boy) and Babli ( a girl) handle their day to day sanitation problems. 

Bablu ( Age 12. Class 7, Boy)

He drinks water all the time. He can pee anywhere he wants ( Near the tree, On the wall, In the big plain ground) He doesn't worry about anything at all. When it is time to go, he just goes.

Babli (Age 12, Class 7, Girl)

She drinks less water. Some days she does not even drink water at school. Her school does not have proper toilets. The only rest room in the school is also located near the football ground where boys play football. So if she has to use the loo, she has to cross the big football ground. Since she fears that the boys will tease her, she controls her bladder. The nearest ladies toilet which is located at the factory near her school does not have roof. The peeping Toms from the near by buildings watch the girls in the toilet. So she does not take the risk. She has to wait the whole day to ease herself when she gets back to her home from her school.

The picture below shows a typical class room setting of boys and girls in rural India. 

Ladies are the biggest sufferers because of poor sanitation facility in our country. Good sanitation facility is the need of the hour for the people in our country. Domex Toilet Academy India has taken a wonderful effort with a mission to build 24000 toilets in rural India by the year 2015. 

As a reader of this blog, I request you to help build more toilets across our country. All you have to do is click the following link [ ]. By clicking the contribute button in the link, Domex will contribute Rs 5/- on your behalf to eradicate open defecation.

Join hands with me in building a Toilet for Babli. Make our country a better place to live in

- Chronicwriter.

Monday, November 17, 2014

685. What extra make up can do to you?

If you are married, take a look at the above picture.

Now take your marriage album, open it and take a look at yourself. If you are a guy, look at your wife. 9 out of 10 times the above picture will be there in your album.

The make up artists pour paints on the girl's face and say" Only if you have make up like this, it will look good in the photographs". But in reality, your painted face will look the same in the photographs also.

In Indian weddings, the bride and the groom will stand for hours at the reception receiving gifts from all the visitors. At the end of the photo session, the bride will look like a Tsunami affected victim.

Some brides look like someone threw up on their face. This is why you need to think twice before you select your make up artist. 

Now let us move away from the bride and let us focus our attention on the maid of honour and all the bride's maids. These days it has become a trend to have at least 5 bride's maids at weddings. All these girls will be wearing a frock (Most of the time). Some of the girls will be comfortable wearing the frock. But there will always be that one bride's maid who would be wearing a frock for the first time in her life. We can easily find the culprit by just looking at how they carry themselves on the wedding day.

The guys at the wedding will be as usual jollu vittufying  at all the girls at the wedding reception.

Another gang you can notice in a wedding reception is the group of girls who had coloured their hair for the first time. I don't know what force makes them to take the decision to have those streaks in their hair. Some times they over do their colouring act and appear as if they are in a halloween party.


Finally, a wedding also throws surprises for us. When we are all dejected looking at all the extra make ups done by the girls, our eyes would finally land up on that one girl whom we all failed to notice during our college days. 

She would walk with such an elegance that would make us all think "How did we fail to notice her during college life?"

This is an attempt by me to take the reader through the incidents that happened during their weddings. Underneath the PJs cracked in this blog, I would be happy if you revisited your happiest moments in life and had a smile on your face. Keep smiling

- Chronicwriter.

Friday, November 14, 2014

684. Children Day is also Tuning Day

There is a Child inside everyone of us. I can see Pregnant ladies smiling for that line.

Even if you are 50 years old, you tend to let out that inner child out once in a while. During such occasion, people around you might tell you to act your age.

14th November is one day you can be all that you want to be. I remember my childhood days and when I think of all the crazy stuff I had done, I often ask myself "Why did I grow old?". My alter ego will immediately tell me "Dai! You are still young".

I believe the more you tease someone you either kill him emotionally or make him stronger. I have gone through emotional abuses as a child from my so called friends. That did not kill me. It made me strong.

There was a time people used to make fun of Sreesanth for his antics. But he proved his mettle in the 2007 world cup. Regarding the spot fixing scandal, I still believe a big gang is involved.

Virat Kohli, Rohit Sharma, Sir Jadeja, Nehra were characters that were made fun of at different point of time. They all answered their critics with their performances. Actor Dhanush is also one example.

Today is the birthday of Tuning King Lingu. He was such a respected director till he released Anjaan. Then he has become the centre of all jokes. Meme creators have a whale of a time when ever they see him. The once respcted director is now treated as a joker. This could change if he could bounce back.

80 % of the people who made fun of Lingu and his movie Anjaan had not watched the movie - Spy report 2014
14th of November should also be celebrated as Tuning Day. This is my humble request to those who draft the History books. Why should Chacha Nehru have all the fun alone?

In Tamil Chacha means "Chithappa". But instead of calling him as Chithappa, we address him as "Maamaa". That means Indira Gandi is my Mora Ponnu. There must be some conspiracy behind this maamaa -chithappa confusion.

When I was a child, my cousins and I would stand near a wall and pee on the wall and would compete with each other to see who can pee higher. I used to be the winner almost all the time. It has been a long time playing this game. Now I am gonna call my cousins and challenge them once again to rekindle memories that are buried for more than 20 years.

If you as a reader can provide your house walls for us to stage our competition, please send your address in the comment section. We will paint your walls with uric acid.


Thursday, November 13, 2014

683. The Secret behind Rohit Sharma's success

Rohit Sharma! Once hailed as the only batsman who had the talent in him to better Sachin's records lost his way somewhere in the middle of his career. Sachin once said that Rohit will score 10000 test runs in his career. For sometime it seemed as though Sachin was joking; but Sachin might be right.

Rohit Sharma was one of the reasons for India's 2007 T20 world cup win. Many would remember Yuvraj Singh's blistering performance in that world cup; Sreesanth's performance against the Aussies, Joginder Sharma's last overs. But if you had watched that world cup closely, Rohit played two beautiful knocks in that world cup triumph. His 50 against South Africa enabled India to qualify for the semi finals. In the finals he showed his class again with a quickfire 30 of 16 balls against the Pakistanis.

But after those performances, Rohit Sharma became a lazy goose and he lost his place in the Indian cricket team. He was not even selected for the 2011 world cup squad.

He was the butt of many jokes in the Internet world. He was labelled as NO HIT Sharma. He was rude in answering his critics and this made people to make fun of him even more. He once said that Critics are like girlfriends; they never stop thinking about you". Those lines indeed have so much meaning in it.

He has gone through his lows in relationships too. He dated top model Sofia Hayat. I don't know why they call her as a top model. She broke up with him citing reasons that he never acknowledged their relationship in public.

Her break up with Rohit Sharma on Twitter made him look more like a villain in the public space. Her Tweet was so strong against him that made him lose many followers. She bluntly said that he was not a gentleman.

Later, close associates who knew their relationship revealed the exact reason behind the break up. She broke up with Rohit two years ago (October 2012). Rohit was not performing well at that time and there was a rumour that Rohit was still in the team only because of Dhoni.

This was a classic example of the statement that some girls only associate themselves with popular men. Rohit's dip in form might be because of his relationship with Sofia Hayat. This is just a conspiracy theory.

Rohit did not grow a beard. Infact he started concentrating on his batting and he started batting beautifully. In the year 2013 he scored 209 and in 2014 he scored a brilliant 264. The girls who were so much crazy about Virat Kohli are now going gaga over Rohit.

It is believed that Narendra Modi passed on some super powers to Rohit Sharma that did this trick in Rohit's life. See the below picture where Narendra Modi passes on his super power to Rohit Sharma

The SriLankan team was lured to come to India so that the Sharmas could perform well in the series. Ishant Sharma, Anushka Sharma and Rohit Sharma made full use of the series to prove their worth

Rohit's performance has also indirectly shut the doors for Sehwag of making any sort of come backs into the Indian team. The opening batsman spot is now up for grabs and Rahane, Gambhir, Dhawan, Uthappa have to fight it out for that spot.

Finally, his ex-girlfriend is trying to hit on him again. When everyone were praising Rohit for his brilliant performance, Sofia bared it all and tweeted this


Monday, November 10, 2014

682 . How to make a successful movie in Tamil?

Steps in making a Tamil movie popular

1) The Director (Read Famous director) should announce that he is making a movie. He should not tell the name of the movie.

2) The Social media crowd (Read as FB users) will go crazy thinking about who the Hero would be and what the story could be?

3) Some FB users will create rumours that thala or thalapathy is acting in that movie

4) The Director now releases the name of the movie and also the actor's name.

5) FB fans go mad again. If Thala is the hero, then thalapathy fans will curse all the thala fans and their family members using foul language learnt during school days.

6) The Director will then announce that the movie teaser will be released on a particular day.

7) The meme creators on FB will create memes and share it across the virtual globe and will have happiness that they had done a great deal of work for mankind.

8) The director will have to then make an announcement that the movie is produced by the onnu vitta chithappa of the ex-girlfriend of Rajapakshe's aunt's son.

9) Immediately few political parties will raise slogans against the movie.

10) Debates on whether the movie should be released or not will be telecast on national television. Sema TRPs (By the way! What is the full form of TRP? Who cares!?!)

11) In the middle of all this mayhem, the director releases the trailer.

12) FB users will again create conspiracy theories. Some of them will even go to the extent of posting articles with the title " Movie story leaked"

13) The director will then announce the movie release day and will make an announcement that the producer's name will not displayed on screen (Who cares? The producer still takes his share)

By this time, the movie would have already become a massive hit even before hitting the screens.

14) The Movie will be released on theatres.

15) Thiruttu DVDs  (Theatre print / Internet print / 2.1 /5.1) will be released on consecutive days

16) Some Social media Magnet will do research on some Korean movies and will expose that the movie was shamelessly copied from a South Korean movie

17) Meme creators will have major fun on FB again by kilichufying the director.

The process goes on.