Monday, October 27, 2014

681. Pulicat Tales

History used to be my favourite subject during my school days. My grand mother was a History teacher in Sarah Tucker School in Tirunelveli and she taught me Indian History when I was a small boy.

This year, I visited a place called Pulicat (Pazhaverkadu in Tamil) which is at the TamilNadu- Andhra Pradesh border. The place has a rich history. The Arabs, The Portuguese, The Dutch and The British ruled this place.

When I visited the place, I could still sense the Dutch smell in the soil. I do not know how to explain that feeling.

Pulicat has a Natural harbour and the East Indian trade flourished because of this harbour. Every country around the world has had laid its eyes on India and used this port to enter our country. I am sitting in the exact location through which foreigners invaded our country. 

Behind me, One can see a small green patch of land. The Sriharikota Rocket launch pad from where ISRO launches rockets left-right and centre is located in that place. The locals of the region say that they can see the rocket launch with bare eyes.

The Dutch had done great trade in this place, in the 17th and 18th centuries. They had traded with spices and coin minting in this region for over 200 years. The Britishers finally defeated the Dutch and took control of the region.

Even today there is a Dutch cemetery in this place. This is the entrance of the cemetery. 

A skeleton of a lady with a baby in her tummy welcomed me into the cemetery. She reminded me of one of my girlfriends during my college days.

As I entered the cemetery, I noticed some illuminati symbols in the cemetery. 

Some of the Generals and big shots of the Dutch Government are laid to rest in this place. 

The Cemetery does not look like a Christian cemetery at all. It looks like some cultish cemetery with skeletons and skulls all over the place. 

Film makers should definitely scan this area for some great ideas for horror movies.

Opposite to the cemetery the ruins of the Fort Geldria can be seen. The site is now closed for archaeological purposes.

If you are a good conversationalist, you can befriend a local fisherman who will take you around the place in his boat. There is a beautiful island that will make you think that you are in Seychelles. 

And if you visit this place, do not forget to buy crab and prawns. You get the best crabs and prawns in the country in this place. The Buckingham canal (Cooum river) originates from this place.The river has very clean water and even today locals use boat to commute in this canal.

If you are living in Chennai and if you had not visited the place, it is high time you visited this place with family and friends. Search in google maps for directions.

- Chronicwriter

Thursday, October 23, 2014

680. My Struggle with Coconut sticks for Diwali

When I think of Diwali in Nagercoil, I can think only of crackers. I spent my childhood in a place called Nagercoil - The Best place on planet earth.

As a child I never knew the background of why they celebrated Diwali in the first place. But I loved crackers. For me "Diwali was all about bursting crackers ".

When ever I asked my parents to buy me crackers, they would always say " Why should we burn currency?". I was around ten years of age then.

I would feel like replying " Mom, You burn all the dosas and puris in the kitchen. Did I ever ask you why you waste the flour?". But I would not ask that to her.

Then I would feel like asking my dad "Appa! You ride your lamby scooter at 10 km per hour in first gear. Even a person can overtake you by walking. Aren't you wasting fuel?". But I would keep quiet.

I knew that I could argue with logical reasoning. But I was scared of my mom big time. She was a terror. She would beat me with coconut sticks. I used to hate coconut sticks. They look very thin; but they can give you pain.

My Mom used to chase me around the house with coconut sticks. I was a really good runner and I would scramble through the house.

But my sister used to be a stumbling block for me  on many occasions. She would come and block me so that Mom could catch me and beat me with those coconut sticks.

Many a time, I would even run past my sister. My Mom was a good runner too. She is like the 400 X 4 Indian relay team runner. Coconut sticks will be kept in window panes in all the rooms of the house.

So when she is on the chase, she would pick a stick from one of the windows and would still continue chasing me. The window would give her the baton to her all the time.

The problem with me was , I was not a long distance runner. I used to run out of steam and eventually I would be cornered.

I used to cry to my Mom and say " Please beat me with your hand on my back or on my butt. Please don't beat me with the coconut stick."

The coconut sticks would leave a mark on my leg. I was not worried about the pain; but I was more concerned about my class girls seeing the marks on my legs.

Back then I never knew how to gain sympathy from girls using the scars on my legs . So I never used it for my advantage. I only learnt those tricks later in my life.

Let me come back to crackers. My dad will say that If I get first rank in quarterly exams he would buy me a pack of crackers.

I will get first rank and he will buy me a pack of crackers that would contain Changu Chakram (Fire Top) , Bus Vaanam ( Pot) and Sparklers.

Noise crackers were a big No, because I was scared of them.

This picture here will give a very clear picture on how scared I was. My legs will shiver big time and sometimes I would even pee a little when I handle fire.My first noise cracker was bijili when I was 12 years old.

In this post I want to remember the poor people I have across when I was a child. I have seen little children who would wait the whole day for a new pair of clothes. Their parents would not be able to afford to buy them those clothes.

These children will walk around in our street and use the burnt crackers. Sometimes they stand in a corner of the street and watch others burning crackers and these little children will applaud every time someone else lit a cracker. We may see them even now. These children are everywhere around us.

I don't wanna use this blog post for advice. I am not gonna ask you not to light crackers. All I am asking you is, when you light a cracker, don't do it alone, just with your family. Invite the needy, poor children and celebrate along with them. If they can't buy new clothes; buy clothes for them.

Real happiness is not when you smile alone. It is when you make others smile too. That's why I write.


Thursday, October 16, 2014

679. America for sale

This one is howlarious. America is for sale for just Rs 25. 

The price is negotiable too it seems.

The buyers should be Vegans.

Good friends and family members of Chronicwriter are banned from buying this land because of undisclosed reasons.

Interested buyers are requested to call Chronicwriter immediately from their mottai maadi.

- Chronicwriter.

Friday, October 03, 2014

678. Actor Vijay's 6 packs

Recently a poster on Kathi film was released on Facebook by Vijay Fans. As I used to be a die hard fan of actor Vijay, I intently looked at the picture and was happy to know that my (once) favourite actor has worked hard for his six packs. I even started to cry looking at the poster. 

I searched on search engines to see how his body had transformed over the years. The picture below shows that Vijay only had one pack a few years ago. So when I saw this picture, I started to cry even more. Only a person with determination, dedication and dignity will work to get such a body in little time.

Later, as my respect for him grew, I started to search for more pictures. A still from the movie Velayudham suggested that he had a flat belly even then. This picture created doubts in my head. I zoomed in and noticed that he was wearing a tantex jetty; but in the Kathi Poster, Vijay was wearing a Calvin Klein jetty. Would my hero be disloyal to a brand in just few years? I knew that he would not do that. So I even had doubts whether someone had done photoshop and had stolen some other body and used it on Vijay.

So I started doing a research on all the VIPs in India who wear Calvin Klein Jetty. I found out that only two VIPs in India wear CK jetties. One is me and the other one is Hrithick Roshan. I was sure that no one had superimposed Vijay's face on my body because I have an even stronger and muscular body. So my doubts zeroed down on Hrithick. So I searched for Hrithick's pictures and found a picture of Hrithick wearing a CK jetty in the movie Kites.

Some die hard fan of Vijay had stolen Hrithik's body and has claimed it to be Dr. Vijay's body. If he had asked me, I would have done better photoshop work and no one could have found it. If you steal, steal intelligently.

Note: I am not an Ajith Fan. Can't I be a Powerstar fan?

A common man