Wednesday, August 13, 2014
667. Indian Traffic Rules
1. The helmet is not for your protection. It is a device that is worn on the head to avoid paying bribe to the traffic police
2. The traffic signals are some colour lights that hang on some poles in some road junctions. Some work and some don't. It does not matter even if it works or not. You have to obey the traffic signal rules only if there is a traffic police standing there.
3. If you are caught by the traffic police for not following the traffic rules, you have to scare them by telling them that you are the third cousin of the sister's son of the Municipality Counsellor of the 43rd ward in your constituency. The traffic constable will immediately shit in his pants and let you go.
4. Three people on a bike is not allowed in the 50 meters radius of the nearest traffic police. When you see a traffic police, the third person on the bike should get down from the bike, walk the 50 metres and again climb the bike when the bike is well clear of the traffic police.
5. Three people in a bike is allowed, if all the three people are girls. Women empowerment indeed.
6. The Bribe is cheaper than the penalty (fine)
7. Anyone who overtakes you is your enemy.
8. Cussing is the official language to converse with a fellow person in the traffic lane when you and him come face to face.
9. Ladies can drive on the right side of the road facing the oncoming traffic.
10. If you have an L board on your car, it means you are dangerous to the vehicles in 10 metre radius.
11. Ambulance is a vehicle that should find its own way. You are not supposed to give way to the ambulance.
12. The Bigger the car you drive, the bigger should be your ego. Otherwise you fall under the sissy category.
13. During rainsy season, you should splash mud on the pedestrians. It is a game they enjoy so much.
14. You can get a driving license even if you do not know to drive. Don't ask me how!
15. When some rider on the road shows their super ego on the road, you should overtake them and stop your vehicle and fight with them by blocking the entire traffic.
If you think all these 15 points are lies, then please feel free to snub me
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