Wednesday, February 27, 2013

558. Copied Movies.

Many would hate me for writing this article. Some of the darkest secrets of Tamil/ World cinema would be revealed through this post. Some of the movies listed here are actually copied from wonderful movies from around the globe and the original movies were never given the due credit. The makers of the movie might justify their act by saying that their copied work was an inspiration and they did not copy the whole movie. But still the readers have the right to get correct information and here it is. This is not an exhaustive list.

1) Kadhal Kondein

The movie which launched actor Dhanush as the next big thing in Tamil cinema is a ripped version of the Reese Witherspoon starrer FEAR. Due credits were not given for this movie. If you have not watched Fear, you can watch it now

2) Mynaa

Prabhu Solomon's Mynaa made it possible for Amala Paul to enter the film world. The film got many awards. Very few actually know that this movie was copied from the action movie Dog bite Dog

3) Roja

When we hear the word Roja, the two names that cross our minds are Maniratnam and AR Rahman. How could one forget the Chinna Chinna Aasai song? This movie is telecasted on doordarshan every year on India's Independence day. This movie is copied from the movie Sunflower. No credits were given too. Why would a director like Maniratnam do such a thing? Maniratnam has copied many such movies. His movie Anjali is also a copied version.

4) Thenali

Universal star Kamal Hassan is known for his acting skills and his wonderful talents. He has another talent too. Yes, many of his movies are remakes and copied versions. The movie Thenali is copied from the flick What about Bob? Due credits were not given 

5) The Joker

Who can forget the Joker from Dark Knight? He still haunts many of us in our dreams. The concept of joker was actually copied from a Tamil movie called Rudra. The Indian joker role was donned by the Steven Spielberg of Tamil Cinema - Mr.K. Bhagyaraj. He did not create any scene when Hollywood copied his idea in their movie. But he created a stir by complaining about the movie KLTA

6) Viswaroopam

Kamal Hassan's Viswaroopam which hit the screens after much struggle is a class work by Kamal Hassan. But his characterisation is a copied version of how Chronicwriter looked 3 years ago. Chronicwriter could have sued him for not giving due credits. But because he has a thangamaana manasu, he did not create any problem. Will Kamal Hassan share his profit with Chronicwriter. We have to wait and see

Note :The brain behind the last picture is my dear brother "Balaji Lakshmipathy"

Now you can start spitting on this post. Start Meesic

- Chronicwriter

557. The Red Panther

My Daughter Anya has now acted in a thriller flick. In the movie she has donned the role of Anya who is a world famous robber. She goes through intense training to steal the Red Panther (The royal box of chocolates). Watch this small movie to see how Anya performs the task.

The movie is for General Audiences. No animal or human being was hurt during the making of the movie.


Friday, February 22, 2013

556. Some Universal Truths

1) Every one who gets into the swimming pool/ beach will pee there.

2) Every girl would ask her husband " How much do you love me? "

3) Everyone would have got an electric shock at least once in their life time

4) People will accept any crime. No one will own a Fart

5) Labrador is not a dog. It is a sheep in Dog's clothing.

6) Every one was a bed wetter during the childhood days. Some never come out of childhood.

7) Cafeterias in workplaces are mainly used for gossips

8) Boys are scared of Raksha Bandan day

9) Hostel food tastes bad.

10) There is always a boss who is a pain in every subordinate's lives

11) The lab assistances in colleges always help the students during the university exams

12) Everyone who swims in the sea will swallow salt water

13) There is no relationship between point number 1 and point number 12

14) A friend will always stab you in the front. Those who stab behind are not your friends.

15) Even if a married man changes his job many times, his boss always remains the same

16) When you are in school your IQ level will be worse than the IQ of Rakhi Sawant. But when you are in your school bus looking through the window, you are Albert Einstein.

17) When ever we write nonsense in exams, there is always a teacher who will stand next to you and watch what you write

18) When you were a child, it does not matter where you fall asleep. It might have been on the sofa or on the floor. You will always wake up on your bed.

19) When you are on the car and when you drive behind a big truck, the movie "Final destination" comes to your mind

20) The Clear History button in the computer has saved many relationships

21) There is always a teacher in school who will be so stingy in giving marks as if the marks were their dad's property.

22) Seeing an insect in your room is not at all a problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears.

23) Everyone would think twice before using the door where the PUSH/PULL sign is written.

24) When ever we put a costly object in a safe place, we end up forgetting where the safe place is.

25) Most relationships start with a click on the " Add Friend" button and ends with the "Block" button

26) In an exam there is always some who suddenly uses the calculator and you have no clue why

27) If there is a 15 second sex scene in a 2 and a half hour movie, your parents will always walk in during those 15 seconds.

28) Artists are born in a boring classroom.

29) There is always a song that you love so much that you end up listening to it a hundred times in a day and you eventually start hating it

30) Everyone who visits a super market would have been mistaken for a store employee at least once in their  life.


Thursday, February 14, 2013

555. Topless picture of Tamanna

For all those who came to this page searching for a topless picture of Tamanna, I wanna first welcome you to my page and wish you a happy valentines day.

Today I wore a green shirt and green trousers to work. My colleagues were in for a shock and some of them started advising me telling that I should have worn a red dress and not a green attire. That is when I remembered that red underwear of mine that superman lost in my blog four years ago.

If you take a closer look at my pants, you can see that it is actually a military trouser. So it is actually a statement saying that I am a strict oppicer.

Coming back to the subject line, I am sure that many came here searching for some skin show. When I look at the statistics for this post, I will get an idea of how many readers came here for what reason. :p On the internet every one is a dog. Yes every single person is a dog. But no body knows you are a dog. So don't fret. 

I think I have tested your patience with this blog post. So those who have read till this part are the lucky ones who will get to see the topless picture of Tamanna. Click this  [link] to see the topless picture of Tamanna. I am the first person to release this picture. This is gonna go viral and believe me all you readers who were lucky to catch a glimpse of the picture will have a place for me in their hearts from now onwards.


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

554. Train Travel and Valentines day

There is a strong connection between train travel and valentines day. You would have seen many movie climaxes in the railway station. This morning while I was in the loo, I found the exact connection between trains and relationships. I am not gonna explain things in detail I will just give the meaning of some of the terms. You can solve the puzzle yourselves.

This is from the view of the Boy. 

1) Unreserved seat - A relationship without commitment

2) Second Class seat - A middle class figure

3) First class seat - Costly figure

4) Chair car - The coffee shop dates. You can see them in coffee day

5) A/C -2nd and 3rd - High maintenance figures

6) A/C -1st Class - Enter territory only if you are in the Forbe's list

7) Ticket Collector - The girl's father / Brother / Boyfriend /Husband

8) Rajdhani Express - Rich Figures

9) Platform Ticket - All the one side lover boys

10) Ticketless travel - Kalla Kaadhal (Pudipatta dharma adi confirmed)

11) Ticket counter - Schools/ Colleges/ Tutorial Colleges.

12) IRCTC - Matrimonial sites and social networking sites. They have loads of girls profiles. None of the girls would like you.

13) Tatkal - Love under pressure where you have no other choice and no time to take a decision.

14) The railway food - Pouring oil in fire in a relationship

15) The rats in the train - The mood swings that your girlfriend has. Every train and every girl has it. You never know when it will come.

16) Train toilets - Relationships that you don't want to be in; but you don't have a choice.

17) RAC - The relationship which will give you that hope and you have to enter into a discussion with the girl's father

18) Waiting list - Varum aaanaa varaadhu type of girls

19) Train cancelled - Love failure

Every year, Valentines day comes and goes. This is my second valentines day after I met Joan and the first valentines day after Anya came into our lives. We all wish every one around the globe a wonderful valentines day. Keep Loving one another.

Spread the Love

Keep Smiling

To all single men : There was a time I used to think that it was cool being single. I have crossed that fox-grape stage.

You will soon find your lady love and you will also get immersed in love soon.

To all those who oppose valentines day : Get a life

If you are wondering where I fit in, in the above 19 points, I would like to tell you that I don't prefer the train.

I am a natural born swimmer and I am in the blue lagoon.

- Chronicwriter

Friday, February 08, 2013

553. Namitha has dengue

Dengue is caused by mosquitoes. For those who read my blog regularly, I am gonna reveal a secret now. I had a pet mosquito called Namitha. She was the creator of the deadly disease Dengue. Dengue is the Insect version of Bird flu. 

How the Dengue disease spread?

Namitha was rescued by me when I found her in a pool of blood. Apparently she had tried to bite my friend who in turn attacked her with his palms. I took her from the pool of blood, applied dettol on her wounds, and nursed her and she was back to normal within a week. As Namitha was a glamorous mosquito, all the romeo mosquitoes tried to woo her. But she had loads of attitude and she never fell for any guy. Even though she tried her level best to stay away from guys, the male mosquitoes in our locality tried different stunts to get the attention of Namitha. 

Show Rock Khan was one such mosquito. He was the only mosquito with six packs. Though he was old, he  was from Africa and legend has a belief that Indian girl mosquitoes liked African Male mosquitoes. Namitha was drawn towards Show Rock Khan. I found that they were in love when I saw them coochy cooching near the window in my house. I warned Namitha and told her not to trust all guys and I also told her that all guys were after her body. But she was blinded by her love for Show Rock Khan.

One day Namitha decided to elope with Show Rock Khan. I over heard their conversation. Yes it is wrong to eavesdrop. But I was possessive about Namitha and I did not want Show Rock to misuse her innocence. They had planned to fly away from my house in the night after I switch off the light. Namitha had the habit of whispering sweet nothings in my ears every night with a koiiiiiiinnnnnggggg sound. Once she does that, I would go to sleep. That night she decided to elope after singing in my ears. I knew that was the last koiiiiinnnnnnggggg sound that I am gonna hear from her. It was heart breaking for me. I tried to control my tears, but I failed.

[Read this line with an emotional music in the background. Please add some tear drops to your eyes to prove to others that you are involved in the story. If tears refuse to come, sprinkle some chilly powder on your eyes, cos you will have to cry more and more ]

Namitha flew away with Show rock khan. He did not marry her; but gave her 324 babies. He deserted her and started living with another mosquito. Namitha found it difficult to take care of the babies. She also decided to take revenge on all the male mosquitoes. She went on a killing spree and she hired the ranguski mosquito (The mosquito which acted in the movie Robot). Along with Ranguski mosquito, Namitha went on a killing spree. She became very notorious and she became the poolan devi of the mosquito world.  In the mean time Namitha showed symptoms of a dreaded disease that was never heard of before. The disease was so bad that it even had the power to kill human beings. Later human beings gave a name to that disease and called it Dengue.

Namitha died in the early hours of a sunday morning near my pillow. She came back to me and she took a vow never to bite me (The only guy she trusted in her life). I miss that koinnnnnnnngggg sound these days. Many other mosquitoes still sing in my ears. You would have heard that koinnnnngggggg sound too. But none of these voices can be compared to that honey melting voice that Namitha had.

Today when ever I kill a mosquito with a mosquito bat, I always remember Namitha. She never ever bit me. If only all the mosquitoes were like Namitha, the world would be a better place to live in.

Note : The mosquito bat is the greatest ever discovery of the 21st century


Thursday, February 07, 2013

552. Thiruttu Maangaai

Thiruttu Maangai (Stolen Mango) is one of the tastiest fruits in the world. It tastes better than the normal mangoes. Even if you have a mango tree in your house, the mangoes in that tree stand no chance to the mangoes that are stolen from the neighbor's house.

When I was a kid, I used to wait for the summer season. That's the season the mangoes will dangle on all the mango trees. There are two ways to steal mangoes

1) Climb the mango tree and pluck the mangoes
2) Throw stones at the mangoes and pick them from the ground
Let us analyse these two methods

1) Climb the mango tree and pluck the mangoes

You should have a very good idea about the physical structure of the tree. You should also be a good climber. Once you climb the tree, there is no looking back. If the neighbor has a dog, make sure that the dog is sleeping. If the dog is awake, then the dog should be your friend. Otherwise, you are in big trouble. Make sure that you are wearing an appropriate dress while climbing the tree. If you are wearing a lungi or a skirt (In the case of you being a girl) there are chances of you giving a heart attack to the neighbor if he catches you in the act. In this method, the mangoes do not go through torture. This kind of plucking a mango is very similar to catching fish using a net.

 2) Throw stones at the mangoes and pick them from the ground

You should have a good aim. If the tree has lots and lots of mangoes, you don't have to worry about your aim. All you have to do is throw a stone at a bunch of mangoes. Make sure that there are no glass windows near the mango tree. If there are glass windows, it is better to use the first method unless and until you have a great aim. This method comes handy when you have a partner in crime. One can throw the stone and the other can retrieve the mango. The retriever should be good in running, climbing walls. If the neighbor has a dog, the retriever should be as fast as Ussain Bolt. This method of stealing a mango is like catching a fish using a fishing rod. The mango will go through great deal of pain. The mango will actually look like a heroine without make up.

After you get the mango, you can just bite it and eat it. Otherwise, you can hit the mango on a stone and burst it open and eat it. If you have the patience, you can use a knife to cut the mango into pieces. Add a pinch of salt and chilly powder and taste the mango. It would taste amazing.

Disclaimer : Stealing is a crime.
If tobacco companies can come up with such a disclaimer, why can't I ?