Tuesday, May 01, 2012

511. Bloody Love Letter

  1. Do you want to win the Love of your sweetheart? 
  2. Is she ignoring you all this while? 
  3. Are you in this one-sided-love battle for years? 
If the answer to the above three questions is Yes, then you are in the big group of men who are not successful in converting their one sided love into two sided love. This post might help you to come out of your Single Status.

It has been a long time since I wrote about my kindergarten girl friend Renu. This article will silence that long gap. I was in class 8 then. We were all in our early teens. Renu was the most beautiful girl in my class. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you might know that I loved Renu and she was in love with a guy called Shabir. Yes! Shabir was the biggest villain of my school life.

Till class 8 we all mingled well with the fairer member of the human species. But suddenly there was a change in the manner in which the boys looked at the girls and vice versa. The girls and boys had trouble to have a conversation freely. Many love stories bloomed during that time. How ever I was an early bloomer. Remember; my love life bloomed when I was in kindergarten. 

When I entered 8th grade, I decided to make Renu - mine. Sometimes I even thought of murdering Shabir. Shabir was the geek in the class and all the girls loved him and so did Renu. 

I was the prankster in class and was a member of the varutha padaadha vaalibar sangam. Yes only the boys liked my jokes. The girls would often write complaints against me and hand it over to the class teacher. Some of the complaints are 
  1. Miss! Chriz is eating our lunch 
  2. Miss! Chriz broke my pen
  3. Miss! Chriz poured water in our bags
  4. Miss! Chriz hit me with a chalk piece
  5. Miss! Chriz is copying from me
  6. Miss! Chriz pulled my hair
The list was a long one. But none of this complaints deterred me from my evergreen love for Renu. I tried many means to win Renu's heart. Nothing worked. So I decided to do the unthinkable. Yes, I decided to pen a love letter to Renu with my blood. So that night when everyone was asleep, I slipped into the kitchen and flicked the knife and came to my room.  I took a piece of paper and just when I was about to cut my wrist to collect blood for writing the love letter, I got reminded of the bloody gory scene I saw on TV. Immediately I stopped the act. But still I decided to go ahead with the plan but with a twist in it.

I again went into the kitchen and saw a maggi tomato sauce bottle (Yes I am giving free advertisement to Maggi) I grabbed the bottle and did this

I slept off in peace. The next day morning, when I woke up, my hands were swollen. and they were full of ants.

Moral of the story : Ants like Tomato Sauce

To read my first ever love letter that I wrote in kindergarten - Click this  [link]



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