I was a champion of sorts in getting zero marks in class tests and examinations. When I joined a new school in Class 6, I became a hero with my joke-cracking skills , own composed songs, Dancing ability and my secret weapon - Mimicry. My friends were also scared of me because of my Karate skills. It was the best three months of my school life (June 1992 to August); and then the Mad-Mid term Test came into my life. I never knew that a simple school Test would change my status from a Hero to a Zero in a jiffy.
Zeroes have been a part and parcel of my life. Getting zero marks in exams is an art by itself. I had mastered this art at a very tender age. Very few recognised my skills in this area. If only the Ministry of education had noted my skills, they would have conferred me with an honorary Doctorate degree or at least a Master of Arts degree. My teachers had a very bad habit. On all other days, I was allowed to sit along with boys in classroom. Three boys would sit on one bench. But on exam days, I would be made to sit between two girls. That was the time that I realised that " There are two women on either sides of every unsuccessful man". Girls never helped me during the school exams. If only they had helped me, I would have been in the Silicon Valley now. ( I am not referring to Pamela Anderson)
Another problem that I faced was my handwriting. Till class 5, I used ruled paper to write my exams. So I used to write within the lines. But in Class 6, they shocked me by giving me a plain paper to write my exams. My answers always resembled a Airplane take-off or landing. I would start my sentence from the top left side of the page and the first line would slant down and end at the bottom right side of the page.There was another compulsory rule that every page should have minimum 25 lines each. No wonder I almost never got additional sheets during my exams. But still during every exam, I tried my level best to cross past the Main answer sheet. This was basically because, I never wanted the girls sitting next to me to come to know that I don't know anything. At times, they would be curious to know what I wrote on my paper and hence they would try to take a peek into my paper. At such times, I would hide my answer paper with my hands and stare back at them with the look that conveyed the message ," Don't try to copy from me". I would also add some spice to my stare by giving an innocent stare at the teacher that conveyed the message ," Sir, This girl is trying to copy from me". These are moments when the Non-verbal communication is executed in a perfect synchronised manner.
The girls sitting besides me would have two sketch pens at least while answering the questions. They would underline important words with Orange color sketch pen. They were the brain behind the Internet SEO techniques. They usually decorated their answer papers after writing the answers on the paper. But I had the habit of decorating my paper with boxes and curved margins even before I wrote anything on the answer sheet.
If you are thinking, " Why there is a big gap for this sentence?", I would like to tell you that this is another technique for filling up answer sheets. But strict teachers who abide by the 25 lines/ page rule will not appreciate this technique. So use this technique only on those teachers who are dumber than you.