Tuesday, May 18, 2010

409. I have never puked. This is the first time

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this post are real and all these are my real life friends.

Note: The author of this blog doesn't drink. But Alcohol was a part of his life from the year 1999 to 2008. In his ten years of association with alcohol, the most memorable are his college days. Over to Chronicwriter.

I remember those wonderful MBA days. Two sloshed years of my life. I have done many weird stuffs during these two years. Now when I turn back and reminisce about my college days, the most comical memories are those when me and my friends were drunk.

We never needed a reason to drink. In fact we invented reasons to drink. Some of the reasons were
  • When I flunked in one of the exam papers, my friends asked me to treat them.
  • When my friend Joseph bought three pairs of underwear, he treated us with drinks to share his joy
  • When our friend Shiv's love life bombed, we celebrated it with alcohol.
  • When my friend Varun's love life bloomed, we again drank.
  • When I first puked after getting drunk, my friends asked me to treat them.
Any place was O.K. for us as long as we could drink freely. We tried drinking in hostel once. But the fear of getting caught by the warden, did not allow us to drink in peace. So we always loved drinking in roof top bars, beaches, Punjabi dhabas, in the car, and even in the college ground.

The party time always starts with a cling sound of the glasses. The person who drinks the least occupies the position near the side dishes (chicken, papad, groundnut, cucumber, pickle, Pakoda, lemon, salt etc...) Everyone becomes an inspirational speaker when drunk. "Girls" are the Hot topic of boys when they drink. It beats all the other side dishes by a large margin.

" I guess she love me dude"

"Why do you think so?"

" She always smiles at me"

" She smiles at everyone"

The conversation goes on like this. After the first round of drinking gets over, I would be drunk and I would start singing. My friends would carry me and make me sit in the adjacent table and they would resume drinking. I would realize it very late and before I could make it to their table, they would be done with at least three more pegs and now everyone would be singing.

Suddenly Andy would get sentimental and say, " Brother! You are my best friend. No one else has been so true to me. If I had a sister, I would marry her off to you" . The conversations would now take an emotional shape. When everyone are in an emotional mood, Joseph would suddenly blurt out," I saw that girl's mom. She is very fat and very lovely. I Think that I can marry her tomorrow".As soon as he says this, we would come back to normalcy and we would all hit him.

Again we start drinking and we again open with the topic on Girls.

"Bro! Meera and Varun are going around"

Varun: " Yes guys! I am going around with Meera. So she is your sister in law"

Joseph: " I think the girl in my class has a crush on me"

We immediately change the topic and start talking about sports, politics and even world peace. Suddenly Shiv would start crying, " I loved her so sincerely. But why did she leave me?". There would be someone who would cry about their lost love in every drinking party. This is a mandatory event that happens in every party. " If only she had not left me, I would have married her and I would be celebrating my honeymoon now. I would not be sitting here and drinking with silly boys like you". We surround him and the thrashing continues.

We would then take our positions around the table and pour out the next peg and the drinking will continue. Suddenly Manu will start talking about stocks and share market. We would immediately change the topic back to "Girls". Then I would start singing again and when everyone gives me a stare, I would say," I am not drunk buddies" and stand up to prove to them that I am not drunk. But as gravitational pull is strong, I fall on the ground and my friends would pick me up and place me on my chair again.

Navin would then start telling his Kenyan stories about how he fought with the rhinoceros and we would listen to him in awe. In the mean time, I would be flicking chicken pieces from Jithin's plate and he would start cursing me in Malayalam, French and English .If only he had used these words in his GMAT exams, he would have completed his PhD in Harvard now. When his cursing skills crosses the limit, Joseph would pounce on him and bite his nose. That would leave Jithin in a shocked state of mind and he would not open his mouth, the rest of the night.

Then there would be people like Abraham, Joseph, Andy, Varun who would never get drunk even if they drink one gallon full of alcohol. To keep up with them, Shiv also tries to drink more and ends up vomiting. No one wants to get caught vomiting and Shiv is no exception too. For a man, Vomiting in front of his friends while drinking is similar to how a girl feels when she is gang raped by some men.

"I have never puked in my life. This is the first time"

We all laugh. Then I would feel like puking. But I would not like to do it in front of my friends. So I would tell them that i want to take a leak and I would walk slowly to the rest room. I would get inside the rest room and vomit a truck load of chicken and side dishes on the mirror, wash basin and the floor. My friends would wait for me for half an hour and when I do not come out of the rest room, they would rush to the rest room and splash water on my face and would carry me back to the table and I would say, " I did not pass out. I was just lying down". They would start laughing again. Suddenly Shyam starts dancing and his dancing skills are amazing indeed. The party ends in mayhem.

Till this day, none of us have a clue, how we all drove back to college hostel and how we ended up in our beds. The next mornings would be the worst mornings. We would have hangovers and our head would ache so much that we would make a pledge not to drink again in our entire life. We would go to our classes and sit in the last row and we would be in a trans state through out the day. Our professors always thought that we concentrated very well on their lectures. As evening approaches, Joseph would send a text message to all of us . It would read ," Tonight party guys?" and we would all have that million dollar smile on our faces again. As soon as college gets over, we will jump into our cars and would head for yet another action packed night.

To know more about the characters that I mentioned in this post, I have added some of the memorable drinking pictures. Each picture has a story behind it.

The day Shiv bought a bike

Joseph bought an Underwear

When our professor chucked us out of our classroom,we celebrated it.

The day before our Financial Management Exam. None of us studied. Hence we decided to get drunk

Joseph's underwear is stolen. Hence this treat

Last day in college

Also check this 6 second video. During one drinking party, My friends asked me to do a one hand stand. I tried to do the one hand stand. I did not notice my friend Midhun flexing his muscles. My one hand stand went wrong and i ended up kicking Midhun's eyes. He still has the black mark on his eyes. Check the video here.

Now, I do not drink any more. My priorities in life have changed. But when I think about those drunken days, I have this wry smile on my face.



  1. :)
    Made me remember a lot of beautiful moments shared with frenz back in college..

    though I do not have any drunken memories to think of.. but th memories of being with frenz is more than enough for a kick :)

  2. These kins of stuff is so common during our good old days but still you are one of the best person whom i know who can express and tell such an emotional stories in a humorous way.

    It does not get any better than this..Many Thanks Bro.

  3. I never have had a drink and dont expect to do so, but yes......College mates, they are more fun to be with when they are drunk and senty.

    "Yaar, I am sorry I drank too much yaar, You are my best friend yaar, I love you yaar."

    They are lovable indeed.

  4. i didn't drink in any parties, but I was a permanent fixture in all darru parties, i mean yes, no party was complete without me, because my friends wanted a bakarchoze, who can communicate on any frequency and as you know Sapota is teh Materz of the bakarchozee(the term is explained in my blog).
    BTW, they talk about humping chics and other nasty stuff about chics, which you have not mentioned?

  5. me never drank never puked...i saw namitha was still on ur wall :P...

    the kick was kickass :P...

    u have done good job with the pics :D...gave me full on memories of my college days :)...

    lol on the day joseph brought an undy :P...u r really crzy at its height :)..


  6. chrise..aji forwarded this link to me and I must say that its very well written..gosh I cant believe am actually saying that..hehehe..miss those days a lot man..hope u have been doing good..tc..yenjoy !

  7. thala... unga atulyum thangala :)!! saaraku adichitu we all went to ladies hostel and shouted... finally warden vanthanga... we invited them for a round :)

  8. Girls, Emotional talk, Movies, Heroes, Actresses, Girls, Love, Break-up, Girls, Girls, Girls......Girls.. These r always the topics of discussion wherever there is alcohol involved..

    A very good post which made me turn my history book.. Cheers! :)

  9. Glad, that u have left the drinking habit. There could be a 100 hypocrites, please don't be one among them. Turn them like you, as u r now without the bottle.

    Helping a person coming out of this habit is the biggest service to the creator for an entire family is saved in your endeavor to restore peace and prosperity in the families lost to the tyranny of this evil demon of drinking.

    It sucks up money, relationships and everything. They can never walk with the head held high in their shoulders and bear family responsibility too. Spreading this awareness of 'kicking' the habit is equivalent to spreading the word of god in my opinion.

    The mind that is free of drink and alcohol can make men into living miracles. If we imagine how many great husbands, fathers, brothers and friends are buried in cemeteries just because of this, it breaks our hearts.

    You did a wonderful job by writing about your experience in a humorous way and nevertheless driving a point home, clearly! Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Love the post :)

  10. @hemanand sir @cv creator

    we laughed at it.. but the black mark in his eye reminds me how foolish i had been

    @nidhz : haha.. good to know

    @push : thanks bro.. you always make me feel good..

    @anony : good that you are keeping a safe distance from alcohol

    @tequila : yes we used to talk all nonsense. did not want to add them here cos it is understood

    @hems: thanks much bro.. yes crazy indeed

    @varun: if i have had more fotos , i could have written more :)

  11. @hary : ellaam oru ganaaa kaalam

    @harsha : did you find some interesting stuff in ur history book

    @kankan : straight from your heart.. appreciate that view.. if only we could share the message through love and not with a legalistic attitude, the world would be a better place to live in

  12. that vomiting quote is so true :)

  13. hahaha....
    Really funny post..liked all the pics...and the video is jus hilarious...Awesome kick..!!

  14. concurs with the last line :)

    memories man... memories... those days were sure fun...

  15. Harey Yaar,
    Dhat wash a vely vely good posht yaar. Iteez hilarious and I, thatz me rememberrr my Gollece days dlinking with a smile.
    Dhankque par the postt.

  16. Drunkards are good entertainment. Only when you read about them :P :P like in this post of yours.

  17. dude..this was crazy...like the crazy times we had....well done....reminds me of a lot of things..and how much we all miss being ...well..drunk and happy....


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