Note :John Gray's book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" triggered me to write this Post
Women are usually hot, because they belong to Venus and Venus is close to the Sun. But still they chose to come to earth to drink water and they never quenched their thrist. When Women came to earth, the species from Mars followed suit. Hence there is no life on Mars. The NASA/ISRO's claim, that they have found life on Mars is fake. Actually the original name of the planet was Anus. But the statement "women are from Anus" sounded so gross and hence the planet was renamed to Venus. Venus Williams is from the planet Venus
The perfect man according to the common Indian woman should be "Dark, Tall and Handsome". So the opposite of this should essentially be the features of a perfect Indian woman "Fair, Short and Ugly".
- If an Indian guy is not Dark, Tall and Handsome he is an imperfect man ( Because he would be having all the features of a perfect woman)
- If an Indian girl is not Fair, Short and Ugly, she is an imperfect woman.
This post is dedicated to all the perfect Indian women by an Imperfect Indian Man- "Chronicwriter". You know she is an Indian woman when
- She gives missed calls to her boyfriend and her boyfriend's phone bills are usually in thousands
- She sends lot of text messages to her boyfriend (Provided that she has free sms scheme)
- She thinks that she is Hot when she is Not.
- She takes much care not to reveal her cleavage or any part of her belly while draping a Saree, but she would boldly display the color of her Bra as her Facebook status message. (Just five things come to an Indian Man's mind when he is reminded of a girl's bra colour. They are 1. Breasts, 2. Mandira Bedi, 3. Nipples, 4. Breasts and 5. Breasts. Please stop being dumb. Men are Horny and nothing can be done about it. Even space scientists are trying to find if there is life on Mars so that they could kick all the men to Mars. But the search is going on for ever)
- She behaves like a girl
- She behaves like a Tom Boy
- She doesn't pay the food-bill when she is on a date with her boyfriend. If she is a lesbian, she would stay hungry.
- She ogles at married men like SRK, Hrithick Roshan irrespective of her marital status.
- She has many brothers even if those guys are not born to her parents. Ravi, Azhar, Dinesh, Rahul and Chriz are her brothers because they are ugly. How ever Binoy is not her brother because he is handsome
- She likes the sitcom FRIENDS.
- She reads books. (Men gaze at books)
- She watches porn movies with her girl friends,but when guys discuss about porn movies in public she says,"You are so gross"
- Her English vocabulary is far better than the average Indian Man.
- She has a blog and she writes about herself and she bashes men ( My lady-blogmates don't belong to this category. You girls are so sweet)
- She doesn't like anyone calling her "Aunty" even if she is in her mid forties.
- She knows that "Men are not from Mars". Apparently 90% of Indian men end up in Bars because of her.
- She says "I don't know" (Men! Please be careful of such women. Women! Please be careful of all men)
- She says "Cho chweet, Cute, aawww" very often.
- She demands for equal rights even though she knows that she dominates man
- She wears a Saree for special occasions in colleges, office parties and also for marriage functions (Indian men are so lucky)
Now please stop forming "Anti-Chriz" groups. I know any level-headed person can digest the above 20 points with a smile. But if you are still angry, I am ready to go to Mars.
I wish all my girlfriends, ex-girlfriends and future girlfriends a very happy women's day. Without you, we MEN would have been gay (happy)