Wednesday, June 17, 2009

360. Private Parts for dummies

When God created Man and Woman, he did not create them with a Colourful shirt, Gucci jeans and Jordan shoes. God just created them naked. So when God created human beings, he did not segregate a few parts as private parts. Each and every part of the body was available for public display. One day Man was running around in the woods when a mosquito bit him in the "Crouching Tiger" part of the body.The bite was so painful; it made man to cover his Crouching Tiger with his hand and run around crying in pain. This particular incident formed the crux of the movie "Crouching Tiger -Hidden Dragon". The movie talks about the pre-mosquito bite days(crouching tiger) and the post- mosquito bite days (hidden dragon) of Man.

Coming back to the topic; man soon found a leaf and covered the mosquito bite region and called it the forbidden island.When woman saw man with a leaf she did not have a single clue about the reason for man covering the forbidden island with a leaf. She wanted to know the reason. But her ego did not allow her to ask the question. So she assumed that man invented a new way to throw attitude and she wanted to go a step ahead of man. So she took a leaf and covered the south pole part of her body with it. She used her hair to cover the north pole part of her body. The above picture will give you a better idea. So in due course of time these parts of the body which were originally available for public display were screened behind leaves and they came to be known as "Private parts" .

After so many years, we still call them, private parts and these parts of the human body are usually covered with clothes. The society does not allow these parts of the body to be displayed in public. This is the reason why young boys and girls when they attain puberty, become so curious to conduct experiments and researches on the private parts. Many young boys and girls take one more step forward and garner knowledge on the private parts of the opposite gender. 

Internet PORN acts as a major teaching source for the hormone-bubbling young boys and girls. (PORN is the abbreviation of Private Organ Revealing Network). The Film censorship boards have devised age validated certificates for films which would allow youngsters to view Private Parts according to their age. The age certification details are given below.

PG - Youngsters can watch the private parts with parental guidance
15 - Youngsters can watch private parts, a maximum of 15 times
18 - Movies that are suitable only for 18 years and above, because north pole is occasionally shown.
A - Adult movies. These movies are not suitable for children, because adults act like children in such movies.
XX - Educational movies that feature frequent display of north pole and occasional display of The Crouching Tiger
XXX - Movies that are suitable for people with High IQ levels. The focus of these movies are only on the private parts.
7X - These kind of movies are the associates of pet societies like PETA,Blue Cross, Go Green Movement. Man's love for animals is explained in detail in such movies.
U,G - There is no need to explain the meaning of such movies in this post.

So far, I have just given the introduction for this post. I haven't got into the topic yet. So without further ado, let me jump into the topic. Over the years, the private parts haven't changed. The North pole,South pole and The crouching tiger have always remained as private parts. 

Mallika Sherawat, Rakhi Sawant, Kate Winslet and Monica Bellucci are certain human beings who have not understood the meaning of the word, "Private Parts" and hence they cover the public parts of their body and constantly reveal their private parts for public display. Environmentalists have warned the world that due to Greenhouse effect, the ice will melt from the North pole and as a result the whole world will be flooded with water. No one had any idea to solve this upcoming great danger. But Pamela Anderson became the pioneer in a great revolutionary moment by enhancing the North Pole with plastic implants. Many great environmentalists soon followed suit.

The earth is no more a safe place to live in because of pollutants. Harmful diseases are spreading worldwide because of Bacteria, Virus, Germs , Parasites and John Buchanan. Because of this diseases like common cough to Swine flu have started to terrorise people. The face mask is a protective gear which is advocated for everyone to protect them from harmful diseases. Face mask has now become a fashion statement indeed. Every Tom, Dan and Harry wear a face mask these days. If this trend continues, face mask would soon become a regular costume for human beings. The french kiss would lose its magic.

The nose and mouth would become the private parts of the future. If such a scenario happens, the following incidents will also take place in future.
  • "Ma'm! Nikhil showed his mouth"... "Nikhil! How dare you do such an obscene act? Come to school with your parents"
  • 12 year old Tony talks to his friend Steve - "I saw the heroine's nose in that movie"... " You are lucky. Do you have that movie DVD? Please pass it on to me. I would watch it without my parents' knowledge"
  • Mother to Daughter -" Cover your nose fully. Cover it till the eyes. Boys these days will take advantage of it. Girls from good families never show their nose"
  • Steve to Tony -" I saw a movie in which the heroine shows her mouth"... " Wow! Did you see the lips?"... " I saw the teeth too"... " Can you give me the DVD?"
  • Sheela to Reena -" Can you see that guy over there?"... " Yes! What is so special in him?"... " He has a long nose. I can see it from his face mask"... " Don't you dare dream about him. He is taken"
  • Pictures like this would be available only in porn sites in the future.

This is a picture of a blog friend of mine. She is a blonde. I added a Nose picture of another blog mate too. But when she threatened to kill me, I removed her Nose from this post.

-Chronicwriter

58 comments:

  1. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon-ku ipdi oru history-aa??? lolz/

    Rakshi Sawant-ayum Mallika-vayum vidave maateenga pollarkku!!!! :p

    Expansion for PORN... heights of creativity let loose! :D :D

    I loved the future of private parts evolution when noses and eyes too will become private parts - and the social and cultural contexts in which they are connected.

    Another hilarious post...

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  2. If at all Ang lee(Director of crouching tiger) gets to see this blog...aiyo i can imagine him changing the movie name in all :)! unga creativity ku no limits only:)!! never knew the meaning behind for all the PG,15>...rated programs!!

    Yu forgot to mention yur namitha :)!! ha ha lol..kalakitinga bro

    HaRy

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  3. Oh my!! How do you ever get to think on these terms? Just loved it.

    And those imaginations, could it become true even for a faintest moment ever? Nose and mouth as private parts..Hahaha..

    Hilarious as usual

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  4. hehehe.. it was really very educational!!

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  5. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, that was good mate :)

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  6. Hey chriz.. I always get a good laugh from your blogs.. I always want to comment.. and I dont bcos I dont want to seem as challenged in my literary sense or handicapped in my humor. Also, in the fear of redundancy of saying "good blog", I appreciate in silence.
    This blog has so many things that made me roll on the floor with laughing and at same time, made me think. Before you conclude anything, being at risk of being used as ur subject for any of your blog even by accident, I will tell you that I was only thinking about the movie ratings and how ironic and euphemistic the movie world can be and how talented people can get at pointing it out with a lot of humor.:)

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  7. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon...

    Private Organ Revealing Network

    hilarious!!!! :D

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  8. Heheheehheeh!!
    Refreshing Piece of Humour!
    :D:D:D

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  9. NICE creativity... Adam n Eve would n0t be committing "the first sin" now...khekhekehkehkhe...:)):)

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  10. hiiiii


    hehehehe!

    where do u get such funky and out of the box creative ideas from !!

    loved it! :D

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  11. Guy here thinking of hidden explanation behind U,G?

    Cool post man.

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  12. Very informational post lol! private part pathi ipdi research panirukingale... crouching tiger is the best part of this post .. oh.. not "private part" I said best part :) and wow i loved those bullet points which made me ROFTL! on the whole I enjoyed it sooooooooooo much :)

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  13. ROFL!! trademark chronic writer style :D

    anyway the Private Organ Revealing Network and the classifications of the censor board (classic, this!!) threw a lot of light on the ..er...subject!! kudos!! :D

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  14. my god! hw could u think like this? you must be a prophet!

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  15. From crouching tiger to mallika sherawat to parental ratings to future pardahs- This one was absolute rocking! Lolz lolz and again i say- Lolz...

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  16. Dai nee engayoo Poitta da !!! See no gal commented on this post ... nee sonna thee eko !!!

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  17. its a lucky day for me...
    my nose is covered...

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  18. Aioo romba romba thanks for all this info. Now I feel so enlightened about all the poles and tigers and dragon (psst psst I thought dragons were extinct).

    Do you think I should insure my nose like Jlo's butt in case your prediction came true???

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  19. better hav lots of money.. coz the director of the movie will be sueing u any time for revealin his idea..
    pple say shit to me for exaggerating.. what u've done here is over-exaggeration..
    n y do u hate john buchanan??

    liked ur title too.. y dont u write a book on that title..

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  20. "Ma'm! Nikhil showed his mouth"...

    Hats off ! near killed myself laughing love you Bro.

    I can't express in words (read poor command over jazzz lingos) but I am always so happy when I click on your page !

    ______________________________________

    Peace + Precious + Chris
    ______________________________________

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  21. Hahahahaha. cool one .
    crouching tiger-hidden dragon, never thought of this etymology

    Everyday in the morning I stand in the balcony, check out the yoga -doing babe next door in the pretext of brushing my teeth.I cannot brush my teeth in public, if your hypothesis becomes true. I shall be arrested for public obscenity.

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  22. i hope u never gave private tutions to anyone :P...that was awesome dude...i hope to watch only 18+ :P..

    urs..hemu..

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  23. really really neat stuff again!!!:)

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  24. You removed dhansie's nose? :P

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  25. hahaha....crouching tiger and hidden dragon!!good lord!
    its hilarious beyond explanation!!!
    heights of creativity i must say!!!:)

    m laughing like a maniac right now

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  26. hahahaha, too good...loved it...you will see me around too dude...and I will take out the time to read ur posts ;)

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  27. haha.. that was soo funny.. crouching tiger, hidden dragon, north n south pole.. GREAT!!
    i was ROFLing here.. :D :D

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  28. :)

    u didnt mention the rating of this blog...

    PG..?

    :)

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  29. OH man!! I haven't laughed so hard in ages.
    North and south poles are becoming smaller and smaller due to rising heat levels.
    With the nose and mouth privatisation, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon shall have a sequel -
    Running Horse Barking Dog - with lotsa noise and occassional sniffles.

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  30. Yes Ki, he removed my nose pic after I got too violent. ;)

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  31. chance eh ila..I jus wished ths post never ended..very much enlightened ;) never knew the abbrevation of PORN so long:D super post.stil laughing anna.. hats of for u dared to write one such post!

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  32. haha! one of ur best posts till date!

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  33. rofl @ Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon...
    hehhehe..thxs for increasing my GK :P
    :P
    french is no more romantic that means :P..
    btw..i was too curious to see that nose pic of ur frnd :P.
    i guess even dhanya :D

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  34. that was a great post!!!!! hidden dragon??!! :O omg, that wsa hilarious!!! and also the future version.... way good, man!!

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  35. LOLzzzz man crouching tiger director is really gonna hide somwehere :) didnt know there were so many categories of P word ... or did u made that up also :P ... very enjoyable post as usual :)

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  36. he hehe... awesome twist with swine flu :)

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  37. Oops I just realised that I have a big nose. So, going forward will guys try to do a peekaboo at my nose? :)

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  38. king of humor... :) great post

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  39. we shall have nose enhancement pills and exercises spamming our inboxes!

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  40. OMG..this is gonna make gr8 probs to the coming generation so I guess it's our duty to take essential steps..so tat the private part concept remains the same..n dussn't get distorted..els..it'll be a trouble..
    even more tan terrorism :P:P:P

    dun u thnk so? ;)

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  41. ter's an award for ya on ma blog...

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  42. thanks for increasing out knowledge... :P

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  43. Haha...this was awesome bro!! The real reason behind that tiger dragon movie, is now understood!! And the abbreviation of PORN...super!! :D

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  44. hmm nice one again, but wouldnt it be just easier to see 'our' face in mirror itself then, but who would want that rgt.... :P


    take care and keep writing..............

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  45. hahaha Crouching tiger and the hidden dragon eh ..!

    You never fail to crack me up chris. :D

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  46. OMG!!! humour finds a new meaning here!!!

    LOVED the post...everything fromt he crouching tiger, hidden dragon to the ne wprivate parts to the full form of porn....it was a laugh riot...

    Keep entertaining. :)

    Cheers

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  47. dhaasu post hai yeh toh !!!

    nice description of the crouching tiger and the hiden dragon too :P

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  48. Hi! Chriz
    Never new one could read all this stuff in such a humorous manner without having the vulgar tag attached to it and that is what we call creativity dude,great job and keep going..
    Hope in future as the new private parts come up old ones will be declared public...any chance..?? :)

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  49. Forgot something..Is that u kissing the masked lady with a mask on ur face ??

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  50. NO COMMENTS is the only comment i can think of as am still rolling around laughing..I dont know how can you come up with such hilarious posts!! CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON!!! superb dude...

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  51. Hahahaha....hilarious post! Hilarious blog!!

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  52. Hello friend excellent post about 360. Private Parts for dummies thanks for sharing !! I would like to know if you have any post about generic valtrex

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