Warning: Extremely dangerous post. Readers are requested not to try this at home.
It is just one month away. I am waiting for that big day in my life. August 28th 2009 is gonna be a great day for me. I am looking forward to it. Dreaming about that day has kept me away from my page for more than a week. I came back to write something about some good old memories from my life.
When I was a 7 year old kid, I saw the movie," Enter the Dragon". I became an instant fan of Bruce Lee. From that day onwards my poor sister would be at the recipient end of my kicks and punches. I would often stand in front of the mirror and admire my rib cage bones (I still do that) and scream like Bruce Lee. Out of rage, I have even gone to the extent of tearing pillows and venting my power output on the cushions. Such outbursts had resulted in my mother punishing me very badly. I am sad that the option of 911 was not there when I was a kid.
I soon joined a Karate class and after 7 years I got my Black belt in Karate. Breaking a clay-brick was not a very tough job anymore. It was as simple as killing a mosquito. Throwing a clay-brick from the top of your house on the road is a simple method to break the brick. I was very good in it. I still do it with ease. When I entered college, I became eligible to become a Karate Master because I also learnt Kung-Fu and I had completed 4 dons after my black belt. But I never told any of my friends that I am an exponent of a martial art.
Soon, I started working in an IT firm and my colleagues found out that I am a Kung-Fu Master. These were the same boys with whom I joined hands and formed the Biker Boy gang (Please read this [link] to know about the dangerous adventures of the Biker Boys). So after much pressure from my friends, I decided to teach them Kung-Fu. In Mandarin, the word "Zhu" is used to refer to a Master. So as a first lesson, I made my colleagues to call me Master.Zhu. They instantly obeyed my command because they knew that if they did not respect their master, they would be subjected to his wrath and his iron fists.(I was their Master)
I envisaged a plan and decided to teach them two Killer Moves that would topple any enemy.
- 1) The Power Lift
- 2) The Ostrich kick
The Power Lift is a very dangerous technique that can be performed only by expert Black belt exponents like me. If a person masters the art of Power Lift, he can lift even an elephant.
(Chronicwriter preforming the Power Lift)
The Ostrich Kick is another extreme dangerous martial art move. This move is deadly and can be used to kill three persons simultaneously. This particular move involves great flexibility and the Kung-Fu exponent performs this move in mid air by jumping 6 feet above the ground. The exponent not only jumps 6 feet above the ground but also does a 180 degree split in mid air and spreads his hands like the tail of an ostrich. This move instantly brings death to the enemy.
(The Ostrich Kick) [To be pronounced as Ass-Stretch Kick]
The above two moves are very dangerous and I request my readers, not to try this at home or at market place or in the toilet. Coming back to the topic, I took my friends to the top of a mountain and put them under rigorous training for 30 days. They became physically strong. But to perform the above two deadly moves, one should be emotionally strong too. So I decided to train them with a new form of meditation. I again took them to the top of a mountain and taught them to meditate. If they had meditated for 30 days, they'd have become mentally strong too.
29 days of meditation made them really strong and I knew that they were almost ready for fighting against the world. But on the last day, the unthinkable happened. All my efforts went down the drain because one of my friends (Shiva) did the unthinkable. The candid camera caught him red-handed. He wasn't meditating properly but was smiling during the meditation session and hence my dreams of building a strong team of martial art exponents came down crashing on the final day.
Note: I am pretty sure that the readers of Chronicwriter.com would have realised by now that the whole post is full of lies. But I assure you that One thing that I mentioned in this post is absolutely true. Can you find what it is?
Additional Note: Chronicwriter is going to shed his clothes for his next post.