Wednesday, July 08, 2009

348. tom, DICK & harry

I have nothing against the Real Madrid football club. They have this wonderful knack of picking the world's best strikers in their side. These strikers are then made to warm the benches and finally their football career will end in a disaster. They play the 4-2-3-1 formation and they have 14 of the best strikers in the world to fill the spots.When a football fan learns that Kaka, Ronaldo, Benzema, Robben, Snejder, Raul and Higuin play for the same club he would surely believe that there is no team to beat them. But over the years, the club has always disappointed me by going for poor team selection. The latest to join the great club is Christiano Ronaldo. Girls would go GA-GA over his looks.I thought that he made the wrong choice when he joined the club but when he started dating Paris Hilton, I realised that joining the club is a lot better decision.

Paris Hilton, the 28 year old spoilt girl of a Rich father who runs a hotel business has been in the news for all the wrong reasons.She created a big fuss when Britney Spear's eleven month old Baby Jayden James touched her breast. You can clearly see in the picture that the baby is not doing the crime on purpose. But Paris started crying and she had to be consoled by her BFF. This was the same Paris Hilton who filmed her own experimental videos with her Guy-friends. This is again the same Paris Hilton who was not affected at all when a stranger molested her in a night club [link].

In a far-off Place in India, a woman who is a mixture of Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson is creating emotional News waves, that has even touched the hearts and souls of people living in Antarctica. Her name is Rakhi Sawant. Apparently her parents had performed many meditational and medicational measures and experiments to bring Rakhi into this world. Rakhi Sawant was the first woman in India to act in the Kamasutra-Demonstration video.(Please do not try searching for the video on youtube. The author of this blog has done enough searches with all his imaginative key-search-words and still couldn't find it). Rakhi Sawant is again the same lady who created a big scene when dancer Mika kissed her on her lips. Her latest show on T.V, Rakhi's swayamvar is an attempt by Rakhi to find her right life partner. More than 1 lakh men from India applied for the show with dreams of becoming Rakhi's dream Man. Chronicwriter also sent an application that was rejected on grounds that could not be explained in this blog.

Rakhi's Swayamvar is an emotional thriller that moves everyone. I have watched the show and i found myself with tear drops. Such is the impact of the show. The show is also rated high on the TRP rating scene in India.

“With ratings of 3.5 per cent in cable and satellite homes of the Hindi speaking market, Rakhi Ka Swayamvar is possibly the highest rated show in the recent history of NDTV Imagine,” said Joseph Eapen, director (research), aMap, which measures overnight ratings.
My interest for the show has increased by million folds when i found out that the show is not only an emotional puller but also an informative one. In the last episode of the show Rakhi was talking about Silicon Implants and Silicon Valley. I strongly believe that when she mentioned Silicon Valley she was talking about Information technology and its role in the current economic crunch situation in the world. However my four year old neighbour boy said that she was talking about her cleavage. I argued with him on this subject matter and we have finally agreed to watch this week's show to find the answer.
In the mean time, the Indian High court made a very bold ruling that made the members of India's gay community to celebrate. Yes, Gay marriages were finally legalised in India on 2nd July 2009. The famous quote by Actor,Trey Parker comes into my mind.
You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.
All religious books admonish Sodomy and The Holy Bible also strongly opposes Homosexuality. But still there are many people who like to serve the world as well as their religion. On a spiritual level, no one can serve two masters. I know it sounds like an impractical statement. But the decision is in our hands. Yes we all have freewill and if we believe that we would be judged by God, then we ought to follow religious laws. If we do not believe in it, then it doesn't matter. It all started because of Tom, Dick and Harry. When Harry was taking a nap, Tom pulled down Dick's nappy and curiosity just killed the cat.



  1. To each his own...thats how I live :)

    LOL @last pic n interpretation!


  2. wow....! evrythin exprssed in a fanny a single post..xcellent.
    I m new to ure post and new to bloggin...
    i was wondering how to see serious things with a funny attitude...and now i got the answer..thank you very much..

  3. since i m not getin NDTV imagine,i couldn't follow Rakhi swayamvar..but ure blog is more than enuf..!eh.n more intersting.

  4. I agree about Ms. Sawant. I have developed an intense admiration for her. It takes tons of courage and thick skin to do something she has done. She is definitely our answer to Paris or pamela.
    And the world is for the fittest, and she is a survivor.

    About gay rights, its wonderful to see all of a sudden people confessing about their sexuality. i saw Vikram seth comeout with his. Time when we would see karan johar and SRK doing the same...

    Hey you too write simple and have an engrossing style. Thanks for kind words on my post. Cheers:))

  5. LOl the way u connected all

    I can stop laughing...

    I agree C. Ronaldo...chose the wrong team..And the contract is for 6 years...I agree too that it will end his career like wat it did to Bekham and his likes....but since he dated Paris....we can understand....

    and rakhi ka
    i m waiting for the twist and the wild card entry..and may be with recent changes in homosexual laws in India...wild card entry might be a woman :P

  6. With ppl like you and your neighbour kid, obvi ratings of the show will be high ! :D

  7. I am wondering whether 'Rakhi ka swayamwar' will end with this or it would go on like 'Rakhi ka swayamwar - Season 1', Season 2 etc :D

  8. interesting post Chriz...
    ya Christiano Ronaldo's joining Real Madrid was much better compared to his decision to date Paris.. she is the dumbest woman the world would ever see...

  9. hahah... so many issues in one blog.

    btw that rakhi sawant show is pure entertainment... ridiculous, yes, but entertainment all the same. and i m not surprised its gaining high TRPs.

    as for paris hilton's hue and cry, dont get me started :D lol

  10. "When Harry was taking a nap, Tom pulled down Dick's nappy and curiosity just killed the cat." - I can read this line front and back like I would an epic poem top to bottom; and laugh every single time I feel down. You may be knighted (we will if the Brit govt doesn't) for your inestimable services to humour (sir) Chriz-ji!!! Kudos

    Rakhi Sawant-a vidave maateengala? Combination of Mallika and Paris Hilton? LOL to the power of infinity.

    "On a spiritual level, no one can serve two masters." - very true. But I am not sure if I understood it the way you meant it.

    Nice one; good to see you upping the ante again in terms of frequency in posts.

  11. @srini

    serving two masters.. there was no pun intended in that.. i mixed a serious line in the middle of a nutty post. thats why you might be thinking that there would be some other meaning to it..


  12. Haha, nice post. You know what, I have watched that video like one year ago on youtube. The Kamasutra one. It's not vulgar as such but I was like OMG is that Rakhi Sawant! Haha.. It's so funny..

    And Rakhi ka swayamvar is gaining TRP Ratings whether it be the right reason or wrong, coz some people watch it as they love her, and others watch it coz it's like some lame comedy serial :D I come in the second category.. :P

    The two Tattoo guys who got eliminated the last time were so sick! [Like most of the public on the show]

    Wonder why they did not consider taking you in the show :(

    And I don't have any issue with homosexuality. It's individual preference I feel. People like Ramdev Baba should stop calling it a disease and speak of sending all gay people to Mental Asylum.

  13. No Chriz. Pun-laam yosikkala.

    I was wondering if you were referring to 'religions' when you were referring to masters. That was my interpretation at least. A new post out btw! :-)

  14. Loved the flow. From Ronaldo to Paris Hilton to Rakhi Sawant to Homosexuality.

    Different topics in the same post, yet it was continuous. Loved it!!

    Rakhi's show will have season 1, 2, 3....

    Paris!! Will she ever stop?

    Good post Chriz

  15. Off abt paris the less you speak abt her, the better it, rakhi yes the show is good, feels like a rip of rodies with the prize of rakhi, but still it is good at some many levels, emotional is one.........

    nice write up man

    take care and keep writing........

  16. hahaha...poor Rakhi...well I personally dun like the idea of choosing a life partner thru swyamvar..nihow...

    well am sad n also feel sorry tat ur application ws rejected ;)

    well all happens for the gud :P

  17. Chronicwriter got rejected for swayamvar ??? Oh man... but not to worry! Considering how Rakhi is, she might think these guys are not her types (even might end up slapping one or two of em by the end of the show) and hold a swayamvar part 2. So be ready!

    And oh my god! 4 year old talking abt cleavages ?? :-o

  18. Wokay 1st of all.. My deepest condolences on not havin been selected for Rakhi's swayamvar and also havin missed bein the one to hv touched Hilton's breast or bein the one who molested her *wid her grinnin* or wateva..

    N yeah... I totally love the idea of everyone gettin their free will..

    I also agree wid cute cadre.. will there be season 2, 3, 4 of Rakhi ka swayamwar??? Am genuinely interested.. Coz after all 'uska Geejus uske saath hai'!!!

  19. Wokay 1st of all.. My deepest condolences on not havin been selected for Rakhi's swayamvar and also havin missed bein the one to hv touched Hilton's breast or bein the one who molested her *wid her grinnin* or wateva..

    N yeah... I totally love the idea of everyone gettin their free will..

    I also agree wid cute cadre.. will there be season 2, 3, 4 of Rakhi ka swayamwar??? Am genuinely interested.. Coz after all 'uska Geejus uske saath hai'!!!

  20. i cried too when i saw rakhi ka swayamar...but i cried at d state indian television has come to...but i must add i never thot ndtv cud compete directly with india tv...but they have not only taken a part in d race but left india tv way behind

  21. u too applied for becoming the dream man for Rakhi at Rakhi ka Swayamvar??
    :-O :-O

    dont tell me that you too have gone mad..!

  22. lol@ finding vids on you tube with all possible key words!!
    good u told us that..otherwise i wud have really tried(out of curiosity):P
    n abt rakhi ka so damn clear that the show is scripted..they cant even bloody pretend properly!!

    lol@the tom dick n harru thing!:D

  23. OMG last line is a rage...:D

    Well Rakhi ka drama is for sure a hit on tele... ;)

    I am not against homosexuality at all... but I do wonder at times whether God prejudiced amongst people on the basis of it.

  24. ha ha, indeed funny.
    rakhi is like the itch at place, where ur hand can't reach.

  25. Yengo..i know yu'd hav been like one of the towel guys in my blogvideo...all naughty stuff? oru naal adyar vanthu parungo :) !! Bachelor life is heaven and nothing else.


  26. world is full of strange ppl. And i m happy abt the decision taken by the court.

    Btw the last pic was too cute!! :P

  27. Thud! Thud! Thud! that's how I went after reading ur post...shook myself up and mustered up great courage like Rakhi sawant to attempt this comment...

    Chriz doesn't the show come with a PG rating?? You ought to be sued for letting the 4 year old boy watch it at ur place? Guess he comes over there bcoz his parents don't let him watch it? I have not yet seen the show but I guess with Rakhi Sawant in it I wouldn't let both my 5 year and 27 year old boys to watch it!!
    U rock what with connecting so many things in a single post..ROFL for the last pic..

  28. Rakhi ka swayambar is backwaas... total bakwaas.. saw the first episode.. it was STUPID...
    LOL @ Last pic

  29. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!! Too coll a pic man...

  30. Rakhi Sawant...The whole world is talking about her:) I think, you know..One needs GUTS to be doing something like that, leave alone publicity and other 'oomph' factors.
    Gay rights....I don't know if I support them or don't. That really doesn matter to me because at the end of the day , its the individual's life and what pleases the heart most is all that counts.

    Great post:)

  31. heheheh :P:D...
    o my dad was behind me..and i opened this blog...he thought im watching p*** :P...

    as usual gr8 post...
    taken aback ...u sent application :P..oo u liar..:D

  32. Found your blog from Indiblogger. nice post. And u have a very good blog. subscribed to u.

  33. oops Rakhi denied u a position.....sorry she rejected ur application!!!!!How rude!!!!!!!!!

  34. Real Madrid is really MAD to try a galaticos 2... LOL...

    the players jus earn enough now cos they know their careers would go down when they join that club :P

    I really dont care about that Rakhi or those guys who dont like gals...

    but I can quite imagine being there with britney and paris :P

  35. Great Take on the recent events Mate

  36. hii

    my gawadddd! this hilton is crazy!

    and this pic is hehehehe!!

    love ur posts :D

  37. About the two pics:
    pic 1 not only shows absence of deliberate purpose or malintention on the "criminal's" part, but also a very strong hint of smile on the "victim's" part.

    In pic 2, how are you able to judge gender of either baby? :P

    //On a spiritual level, no one can serve two masters

    Heck even one master would make you a slave.

    Be your own spirit. Let the spirit be you master, and you the spirit's :P. Let the spirit live and fly, without bogging down those of others. Simple life.

    Whats there to 'serve' :P

    Anyways in some of your posts you sound like a religious fanatic. (some before this too)

    Religion was a nice device invented by wise philisophers to inculcate right sense in people. Or maybe even that is a fairy tale version. Its was a nice device invented by shrewd manipulative individuals to gain power and control. Even kings bowed down to priests. And the idea was very right. Ppl are most worried about whats gonna happen with them and their life, and want some kinda parental protection beyond parent. Yay! Give em religion and rule em!
    Even likes of Laden still do it. Political parties 'with a cause' do it.

    In fact, even in your sentence you are talking about 'serving a master'. See the point? It is all about being master :P

    Another possibility, when your mind stops working in front of kids, hide embarrassment by explaining it all away with one answer that everybody (as per the rules of that answer) is forbidden to question. God does so, says so and blah. In olden days we did not know pressure differences cause winds, we said wind gods did it. After all, grown up cant face admitting to lil kids 'Look, I don't know. I am stupid.'. And when that kid grows up, genuinely believes the fairy tale, and proapagates it further down the generations, you have strong religious armies that fight each other and non armies and cause damn mayhem. All cos of the ego of the lil measly 'wise' grown up, who couldn't admit his stupidity, or deal with the fact of not knowing all answers right then.

    Similarly, in your case you personally seem to have some dislike for gays, but can't justify it. So justify it with religion :P. Coool!

    Just imagine someone having to live in fear of going to jail as criminal or something just cos their mind body works somewhat differently! The judge is not trying to serve any damn master. The best and fair judgement is one which ensures most total happiness amongst people. The straights will not suffer any dire consequences because of it. But the gays will escape a lot of dire consequences. And anyways, they are least likely to have kids in next generation because of their choice. If they are fine with it, why bother? If you wish, and if it makes you feel vindicated, think of that aspect and snigger a few moments. Sheeesh!

    I should probably not post this comment, but then at 2:00 am, better judgement doesn't always prevail.What the heck!


  38. hhahaha.... did u really apply...u shameless..u :) hahaha
    the show is hilarious and ridiculous beyond all bounds...

    i would have really enjoyed u on the me...atleast there would have been some sensible humor..

    these guys talk about getting the moon for her...and she is saying sorry to their moms for not being able to be their daughter in laws...


  39. U shud hav sent your blog link with the application!! Did paris really throw a fit about the breast touching by a baby??

  40. tht is rakhi look alike in the ks demo ! u want the link ! let me know :p

  41. awesome luk on da bab(i)es face...

  42. @zak,satanic darling

    i know its still there on youtube :)


    search and get enlightened

    i'd answer your question on spirituality and homosexuality with respect to religion..

    i am not a religious fanatic.. i am a spiritual fanatic. a spiritual fanatic believes in religion but doesn't voice out against other religions. and if you are under the assumption that spirits float around, the perception should be altered

    science, aethism and religion always never went along with each other. from your words i can clearly see that you are neither a complete aethist nor a complete follower of science. You are stuck somewhere in between. so if you find where you belong, it would be easier to state your opinions.

    It is forbidden and strongly condemned in all the religous Holy books. I don't have to prove it. Browse your relious book and you'll find it.. The Holy Bible says it.. The Quran tells the same thing.. Buddhist ideoligies doesnt differ much too..

    and your understanding of the term MASTER is on an amatuerish level. so let me explain that to you. when i meant TWO masters, one was the WORLD and its VICES and the other master is RELIGION.

    so a human being , if he wants to be a homosexual can't call himself religious, cos in that case he is serving two masters. A master-slave concept is not stated here.. Master is derived from the aramic word which has an equivalent sanscrit term called Guru which means abolisher of Sin/Teacher.

    There are many other vices the world offers. It is not only homosexuality. Telling lies, getting angry,pride.. and the list is a big one.

    I Think this explanation is useless cos your belief and understanding strongly contradicts with mine. So i guess we should first have an understanding on what we are gonna discuss on and then take this matter forward through mails. You have my email id, You can mail me.

    If your intention is to discuss and have an understanding, i'd be more than happy to do so.. But if your intention is to pass sarcastical judgements, i'd just treat it as a joke..

    cheers bro

  43. You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.

    They say that? I'm learning so much from your posts =))

    Go on! Make us laugh and inspire us at the same time :)

    Good one!

  44. really rakhi sawant swyambar is such a shit i cant bear to watch it at all ...yuck!!! yuck!!

  45. Whoa what a post! From real Madrid to Paris Hilton to Rakhi Sawant to Tom’, rocked hilariously all the way!!

    PS: Rakhi ka swayamvar is so much of fun….It is the best reality show on Indian television- fun quotient!!!

  46. Real madrid should also focus on the compatiblity on these players !
    When i hear about Rakhi ka Swayammwar I do like this 'X_X'

  47. curiosity indeed killed the cat or in this case the dog:P

  48. lovely and amazingly funny flow to topics....

  49. funny!
    rakhi ka swayamvar is very very engaging i must say. i wanted to stab her and deflate her coquettish charms and other things in addition.

    gay men= to each his own

  50. i too caught a glimpse of rakhi swayambar episode today.. god .. uska kya hogaaa

  51. hmhm-- yeah I in a way dont understand Y so much hype is being created on rakhi sawants reality show.

    & yeah she is worse than even paris...

    paris is a fool & d media oves to make even more a fool out of her.

    rakhi makes a fool out of the media.

    I mean -- how else can U explain the high TRP ratings that her program got.

    OK-- we can reason out that --- people are amazed tat even her has a competition 4 her hand. tat can get a lot of them to see her show.

    Or may be they are seeing as to how much of a show off she really is..

    I mean-- she is boud 2 do something controversial in her show- & I think people wanna say--

    yeah, i too saw tat shit.

    & I think sex is something that each individual should decide.

    I used to think tat homo is something tat is done against nature but then ---

    I have changed from then.

    who am I 2 decide wats right 4 another individual.

    If he wants to do it. let him. without disturbing others. :)

  52. my my my... wat a post.... Chriz, u are truly a genius in interpreting petty pictures into monumental posts...

    in btw i voted for u and even laundered ppl to vote u... :(

  53. Very well written chriz, love the way you have connected all the diff scenarios! is it really true? rakhi sawant's show has higest TRP? gosh why wud anyone want to watch her show?

  54. You watch Rakhi Sawant? And did you have tears in your eyes coz someone was holdin a gun to your head?lolz...

    Word on the street is that you received a new award!

    Check it out:


  55. Desi Hilton + Anderson, I mean, Rakhi's show is masaledaar entertainment :D

    It never fails to make me laugh!!!
    Well written, Chriz :)

    Have a great weekend!!! :)

  56. he he.. lol.. funny post.. well rakhi like u describe her as mixture of HILTON PLUS ANDERSON.. lol.. but i guess she is more than tht.. not to forget people criticize her but still watch her show.. she is something different.. something unusual..but still interesting... n people love watching her..n its only she who can come on with such a show.. i would say she is really gutsy.. truthful, honest, controversial.. unusual, irriatting at times... a RARE MIXTURE.. LOL

  57. ROFLMAO..! :D

    And ugh, don't remind me of Rakhi Sawant... :P

    Howzzit going bro'..?


  58. Hi, after long time today I visited urs blog, but i am so tired because i want to read from LEFTIES, i finished up to here till 1-30 am, i am feeling very funny, LOL BUT my roommate is sleeping so i stopped here, very nicely u r played guitar, but u r eye movements was so diffent
    wrong english writer

  59. couldn't really understand what the post was about really...u went from ronaldo to paris hilton to rakhi sawant :D

    the rakhi bit was funny though I still wanna know why were u rejected :P ??

  60. the last pic and ur interpretation!!

    And I am sure rejectin u was Rakhi's loss not urs!

  61. u doing a research on paris hilton or what?:P

  62. gay marriages is legal???? really are u sure they can actually get married? cz it is not legal in most of the countries in the world, i mean u can have a civil marriage in france but not a marriage in church, can 2 men/women can legally live together or can they also get married?
    And I can t believe Hilton cry (like she has boobs anyway!):)

  63. I'm definitely glad I bumped into your blog. Firstly, this post was definitely entertaining & informative to read. I actually just read an article in today's paper about Paris Hilton and her whole 'hook up' with Ronaldo. And the fact that they spent $30,000 on drinks for themselves & their friends on one night. Wtf is wrong with people?

    Anyway, Paris is a bag of issues on her own. As for the 4yr old kid talking about cleavage, that's so wild. Rakhi freaks me out, like in a nightmare-ish kinda way. Can't really blame the kid for noticing her cleavage when that's all that the camera ever focuses on - it's kinda rare to get a close up her face.

    Last thing before my comment becomes a blog post in itself, lol. I thought that Indian govt got rid of the rule discriminating against homosexual intercourse? Don't remember reading it as gay marriage - cause that's two very different things. Correct me if I'm wrong though. But regardless, I believe in freedom of choice and I think it's a good thing that society is becoming more open.

  64. Loved the way in which you have written this one..! :)
    Paris maybe wanted to be the first one to file a case of being molested by a kid who's yet to talk! ;)
    Last pic interpretation is awesome! :)
    Article 2009 should atleast help in reducing population if not anything else...with ppl out in open and not succumb to family pressure! :) The adoption of orphaned kids could also go up, which is good! :)

  65. after a long time back to your blog and it kept up the promise of making me laugh!! really you do come up with the whakiest of topics and end up doing a great job!!


Did you smile? Do let me know about your views of this post. Please read the post before commenting