346. Being a Bachelor

When H.L Mencken came up with the very famous quote "Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.", the women community started calling him,"Mencken the Chicken". The author of this blog is a bachelor all his life (so far). This post is an attempt by him to prove to the rest of the world that a bachelor life is the greatest boon to Mankind.

Disclaimer: All the statements made in this post is from the personal experiences of the author and the author has no intention to hurt the sentiments of non-bachelors and women.

Additional Disclaimer: This post can be understood by people who have shared rooms with friends when they were bachelors.

Ten reasons why a Bachelor life is a boon to mankind

1) A bachelor can make the rules at home. It doesn't really matter, if the toilet seat is up or down. It doesn't even really matter even if the toilet doesn't have a seat. The kitchen is exactly not the place where cooking happens. A kitchen can be used for ironing clothes,washing clothes and sometimes used as the dining room.

2) A bachelor's bedroom will essentially have the following objects - A broken comb with strands of hair in it, A pillow cover that was washed a year ago, A bed sheet that serves the dual purpose of a hand towel also, a mobile phone under the pillow,a few notebooks that is full of poetry puked by the bachelor, a nylon string guitar which of course has a G-string too,socks on the tube light, underwear on the fan, a laptop that is never booted for more than a month, worn clothes lying on the floor, a pair of jeans on the hanger( This jean is worn by the bachelor when ever he leaves the house),a toothpaste-tube without the cap, a toothbrush which has bristles that look similar to Hitler's moustache,DVDs without the DVD cover and many more dynamic objects. A married man doesn't have such a privilege to have a bedroom like this.

3)A bachelor doesn't really need to return to the same house every night. He can crash down at his friend's house and he doesn't really need a bed to sleep. All he needs is a torn pillow shared by three people.He can go to work from his friend's place too. A house of the friend of a bachelor looks similar to the bachelor's house.

4) A bachelor can have as many girl friends as he can (at least in his dreams, if he is less talented like the author of this page). A bachelor is like an average Indian Cricket fan - He knows everything about the game and he can talk for hours about the game. But when you give him a bat, he will be bowled the very first ball.

5) Bachelors are extremely good cooks. If you have any doubts about this point, please check this[link]. But they forget all their cooking skills once they get married.

6) When a Bachelor smiles, you can clearly say that it is a Real smile.When a married man smiles, you know that he is faking it.

7) A bachelor will always remember his first love. The author of this blog also remembers his first love "Renu" always. Renu is married and is the mother of two kids now. But Chronicwriter's love for Renu is real.

8) Great people are bachelors.{Eg - Jeremy (My four year old nephew), Chronicwriter (Me) and Abdul Kalam (Former Indian President)}

9) A bachelor does not need to wake up with that same scared look on his face. My friend is married for the last two years and he says that when ever he wakes up from his sleep, he gets a scare. He said,"Chriz! Even the most beautiful woman in the world would look like a witch when she gets up from bed; Her hair will be all over the place and even the mouth of an angel stinks like that of the rear end of a cow in the morning". I said to him that I was not aware of this. So if you are a married man please tell me whether my friend was speaking the truth.

10) Bachelors need not wear the miniature hand-cuffs (Wedding rings). So they can play the guitar without any hassle. Chronicwriter dedicates one of his favorite songs to all his Blog readers. Check it out. It is the song of a Bachelor.

Bachelor Boy-Lyrics

1)When I was young my father said,Son I have something to say.And what he told me Ill never forget Until my dyin day.

He said son you are a bachelor boy,And thats the way to stay.Son, you be a bachelor boy until your dyin day

2)When I was sixteen I fell in love With a girl as sweet as could be. But I rememberd just in time,What my daddy said to me.

3)As time goes by I propably willMeet a girl and fall in loveThen Ill get married have a wife and a child.And theyll be my turtle doves.

-Chronicwriter