340. The Beer Boy

Beauty lies in the eyes of the Beer Holder

- Anonymous Drunkard

I am very good with kids. Not the Michael Jackson way;but in a very healthy manner. The kids near my place like talking and spending time with me because I tell them stories all the time. Most of the time I will start telling them a story and the story would go on and on and I would not have any idea on how to end the stories.Last month I caught my 7 year old neighbour-"Ryan", drinking a can of beer. He was shell-shocked and he pleaded with me not to tell about it to his mom. But I wanted to take my revenge on him for what he told about me to his beautiful mother [link]. But finally I assured him that I would not complain about him to his mom when he agreed to give me ten bucks everyday- for one whole month

The very next day, He gave me ten bucks and I asked him," Ryan! So tell me... What does your dad do when he gets drunk?"

"My dad sleeps off when he gets drunk. So I gulp the rest of the beer bottle and even give some beer to my dog and it is really funny to see my dog when it is stoned"

"Does your mom know about it?"

"No! She gets sloshed before Dad"

The stories that he told gave me a chilling effect on my tail bone. He also told me that he had his first beer when he was just 12 months old. In the picture below, Ryan is all excited about his first beer. If you want to know about my first experience with alcohol, read this post [link]

The next day Ryan again gave me another ten bucks and he also showed me some other pictures from his photo album. Apparently Ryan had his first girlfriend when he was three years old. In the below picture, Ryan is seen drinking with his ex-girlfriend. Ryan is now 7 and already he has had eleven girlfriends in his life. I am a 27 year old single guy and Ryan really gave me a big complex when he explained about his love escapades.

Ryan's dad has got the biggest Beer belly, I have ever seen. He can do many tricks with his belly. He is seen performing one of his tricks in the below picture. Ryan's dad is having this big belly for the past ten years. If you think that a woman has to suffer a lot by carrying a child in her womb for 10 months, you gotta see Ryan's dad. When ever I see him, I feel like asking him lot of questions about his beer belly. But I never do that.( Ryan's dad is a bouncer and he can punch real hard)

Ryan gave me another ten bucks today and finally the one month pact got over and now he can breathe in peace. I still can break the deal and complain about him to his mom. But i am not doing it because Ryan has promised to introduce me to the cute girl who has moved in to the opposite flat. Ryan told me that her name is Divya and that she loves humorous people. Should I make the move?

Note: For the past one month, ten bucks started disappearing from my wallet everyday. Is something wrong with my wallet?

Additional Note: Just as I was typing this line, I looked out the window and saw Divya. She smiled at me . Is this a new beginning in Chronicwriter's life?

-Chronicwriter