Wednesday, April 15, 2009

313. The Brand SRK

Disclaimer: Everything that is mentioned here is true to the best of my knowledge and any sarcasm levied on any VIP is made with sound judgement by a human being with an IQ score of 142. Commenting without careful analysis and without sound judgement will be treated as a joke

Year 1990

"Mommy! I have finished studying. Can I watch TV now?" - An 8 year old Chriz pleads with his mother to allow him to watch his favorite serial on TV, Fauji. Fauji was my favorite serial during my pre-teen years. My sister (Akka) and I would sit in front of the TV and wait for Abhimanyu Rai to appear on the screen. Abhimanyu was a naughty trainee in the Indian army.[link]

Chriz: Abhimanyu acts well. Doesn't he?
Akka: Yes he does! He is smart
Chriz: He will be a star one day

Three years later when I was doing my homework on a wednesday night, my sister started shouting Abhimanyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. I rushed to the drawing room and saw my sister watching Chitrahaar ( A connoisseur of Hindi filmi songs)

Akka: Hey look! That is Abhimanyu
Chriz: Yes! That's him. Is he acting in a movie?
Akka: Yes.His original name is Shahrukh Khan.The name of the movie is Baazigar.He has already acted in some other movies too
Chriz: Is it? The song is nice. I will also wear a black dress like that and ride in a horse one day. (That dream of wearing a black dress and riding a horse came true when I went to Kodaikanal hill station in 1995)

I became the biggest fan of Shahrukh khan. I even tried acting like him in school.

Teacher: What is your name?
Chriz: Ki Ki Ki Ki Kriz!
Teacher: Are you trying to mock in my class? Go and kneel down

As a young boy, I liked watching beauty soap advertisements. The Lyril soap ad and the Lux ad were my favorites. The ad-makers of these two brands selected the right personalities and the right storyboard to create wonderful ads. Liril ads always presented the beauty taking a bath in a waterfall. Lux, on the other hand chose a different technique. They made the model to take a bath in a bath-tub. Taking a bath in a bath-tub was treated as a style statement for the elite section of the society in India in 1990s. It still is. Hence Lux soap was treated as a brand in the luxury beauty soap segment.

Madhubala, Mala Sinha, Hema Malini, Sridevi, Madhuri Dixit, Juhi Chawla, Karisma Kapoor, Rani Mukerji, Aishwarya Rai, Amisha Patel, Kareena Kapoor and Tabu were the brand ambassadors for Lux soap. Over the years it was a pleasant site to see all these beauties plunge into the water tub with soap bubble formations on their lovely smooth skin.

But Lux chose a very beautiful brand-promoter for its' 75th anniversary and when I saw the ad on TV, I expected to see another beauty inside the bath tub. But I ended up seeing this [link] and this [link]. The sale of Lux soaps declined in a bigger way in India and the Luxury-beauty soap ended up being called as a toilet-soap.

SRK has excelled in many roles as a TV presenter, stunt director, producer, singer in some movies and also as a great actor. But sometimes trying to be a jack of all trades he tries silly stunts like entering into the bath tub for a beauty soap, breaking a bottle with his head (Yes he was a stuntman in the beginning of his career) .His latest silly stunt is his role in Indian Cricket.
The author of this blog is weird and has done many silly stunts too, like trying his hand in drawing and trying to sing like Britney Spears. But we all know that the author of this page is a crazy weirdo. So stunts like this doesn't harm him in any way. But when a personality like SRK indulges in silly stunts, then it raises a few eyebrows. ( I typed this line with a raised eyebrow)

SRK is a good football player and he also plays cricket. So he has basic understanding of the game and because he is rich, he even bought a franchisee - Kolkata Knight Riders. He payed huge money and made some disastrous player selection and made the biggest mistake of making John Buchanan (An Australian) as the coach of the team which fields in at least 7 Indian players in the team in every match.

John Buchanan's 4 captain theory (Chris Gayle, Ganguly, Mccullum, Hodge) is similar to the coalition ruling game in the centre. I pity poor Ganguly who finds himself amidst problems where ever he goes. One captain per game concept is a total mockery of leadership skill management. John has totally misunderstood the concept of "The art of war by Sun Tzu".

Just Imagine this case.
Gayle is the captain in the first match and KKR ends up winning. Ganguly becomes the captain in the second match and KKR loses. The media will start blaming Ganguly for the loss and totally forget Buchanan's lousy idea.

Buchanan already had a bad time with McGrath and Warne ( The two great bowlers of our era). The funny thing on this subject is that SRK supports such an idea. Ganguly was right in telling "As a captain , I can also demand four coaches for the team". If Buchanan is right, then Ganguly is right too. I was just imagining such a scenario - Buchanan along with three other coaches. I imagined Navjot Singh Siddhu as one of the three coaches. His Siddhuisms would send Buchanan packing.

In the first edition of IPL, Shane Warne handled the role of a playing captain cum coach for the Rajasthan Royals. They were successful. Even Chennai Super kings were a great success until their coach "Kepler Wessels" poked his nose in the finals and eventually CSK lost the match. Skipper Dhoni wanted Badrinath to bat at the fall of a wicket. But Kepler Wessels took his own decision and sent Kapugadera ahead of Badrinath and that cost them the match.
Kepler Wessels is now sacked and Stephen Fleming has become the player cum coach of the team. This is the importance given to players of winning teams. A coach should be a leader and not a dictator. Hope SRK understands this and makes the right decision tomorrow.At the end of the day, I would not want anyone to come and advice me on how to wear my underwear. Similarly SRK doesn't need to be advised on making the right choice. As a number-one fan of SRK, I have every right to comment on him. (Would I make a good politician?)



  1. kikiki krizzzz :P....u still dint wear the black dress and the horse ride..:P...

    i was thinking of kikiki krishhh dialogue of just imagine...well ganguly will be definitely will be blamed for this :P...if he lost...

    srk football total filmdom of SRk...good on kikiki krisshhhh...


  2. Hmm...I have never been a big fan of SRK but have never hated him as well. Have always liked his wit nd intelligence. But lately I have been feeling his talks too much nd a kind of arrogance has seeped in which I am not liking...

    BTW I have read the post puri (u can even take my exam ;-))

  3. I started reading the post with so much of interest and then it petered off, as you changed the topic to cricket:(

  4. Good politicians or rather successful politicians got to say sloth about the top bollywood brigade:P Singing paeans for India's second highest tax payer from the film industry is a never-before tested waters. Let me see how you are gonna make yourself out to be.

    And the Lux-Srk ad was ....comedy.Except ofcourse babes like Kareena and SriDevi saved the show.
    SRK was a stuntman too? Never knew.

    Not much interest into IPL stuff, the idea that the entire fancy is being hyped has planted a very 'i don't like IPL' impression on me. The essence of the game is lost there i guess, with the entry of the bollywood brigade, cheer leaders and mega mega hyped ads.

  5. Cricket is going soccer, that's all! Where there's money, there's a lot of other things too... for instance swinging players, and rotating coaches, but fortunately that doesn't deter me from cricket or SRK...

    I too have seen Circus(obv the repeat)...[That was SRK's second serial]

    But yeah, the idea of 4 captains sounds kind of hilarious, but I'll defer from commenting on it, who knows what it brings...

  6. Dude... I care less for these so called super stars...

    so not much to say here.. :P

    p.s. are you still referring to that red underwear? LOL

  7. dUDE..i believe i m srk's no1 fan..oh well we can contest that fact later..more on the matter at hand..

    i know u were being funny but still...
    SRK did the LUX ad coz only he can...only he s got the sellin power, the brand image to pull off something like that.

    And as far as John Buchanan goes, bro he s a world cup winning many of our so called indian coaches have managed that..u gotta give credit where its due..he s the most successful coach in history and if he wants to try out the 4 player theory and if SRK backs him on it..then who r we to suggest otherwise..Ganguly has a problem with lets not even there..

    From one SRK fan to another...nice article..;-)


  8. boss ellam ok aana SRK - Karan Johar natpu pathi sollalayae boss :P

  9. Well, high time Ganguly got phased out. 37 and he wants to play T20? Bleh! Passé! :P (Sorry, As much as I enjoy his glorious sixes, I do not think he shd play...)

    Heh heh heh, mercifully, I did not see tht SRK Lux ad. :D

    Oh - good luck if u *do* decide to take the plunge into politics! :P



    this is not a personal take on Ganguly. I have reserved a separate post for our DADA too :p

    This post only revolves around SRK's brand value and its effect on sports and franchisees

  11. You have done great justice to the post Chriz:) Let me just comment on the cricketing side (elsewhere my IQ is close to zero:P):

    (1) The idea of four captains - even if you choose to call 'em strategists - is ridiculous indeed. And you are perfectly correct in saying that if KKR wins under one captain and loses under Dada, the entire bandwagon will start going for the count on Sourav. I pity him too but the man has the Bengali in him - not sure about the tiger these days;)!

    (2)I am not a great fan of the T20 format in the first place; forget IPL: and there is no patriotism thingy involved with my not like or NOT not liking IPL. So long as one R. S. Dravid plays for BRC I will watch - though he may not a great T20 trump card.

    (3) These days anyone with bucketfuls of money can do everything under the sun: it is unfortunate to say the least, but voila, that's the scenario.

    PS: Never been a great SRK fan. I loved it when Aamir said "only Shahrukh calls himself the King Khan!":P

  12. ki ki ki ki ki kriz.. ROTFL :p

    Ur GOD at this bro..and yeah,I hated SRK right from the beginning,and now more reasons to hate him.And dada was right,why not KKR have 4 coaches??
    Let the games begin...


  13. So you want to give advice to SRK?!!Dont worry he will dig his own holes...btw SRK always over reacts...I personally think he has the looks of our late tamil actor "Nagesh"..well very handsome Nagesh either??!@!

  14. @Dream-R

    Thanks for visiting bro...

    SRK has a brand image to sell a beauty soap? :P No wonder Lux bombed big time.

    John Buch was a WC winning coach cos he had hayden-gilli & Shane-McGrath-Brett in their team. Ricky Ponting was hailed as the greatest captain. But look what happened after Gillie, and the bowling giants left the scene.. Ricky's Australian team is being whacked around...

    If you talk about Indian coaches, Anusham Gaekwad and Ajit Wadekar have been the guys behind Hero Cup, Sharjah heroics.. It was Greg Chappel who spoilt Indian cricket again... Buchanan coaching an IPL team which has 7 Indian players itself is a mismatch bro :)

    See Rajasthan Royals. The minnows but that boasts of the best captain..

    Ganguly is old and he has certainly lost his sting. The magic he showed once by getting down the track has gone. He is not a great fielder too. The point here is not to find whether he is a great player.

    The point here is , when a franchisee team is managed with Class - A Indian players, then it is really a cat on the wall act to field in four captains...

    Note: Please check John Buchanan's comments on his theory and how he idiotically relates his idea to the " ART of war " book.. Can you please correlate the match he is trying to make?

    I appreciate your participation in this nutty but still thought pondering post.. Would love to have more thoughts pouring on this

    God bless

  15. Where is your 315.The Great Bank Robbery wala post.. Can't find it!!!

  16. this post hurt me chriz. why did you have to do this to me? why ? WHY??
    (i'm copying your dialogs)

    i always ALWAYS KKR as KRK and his awesome movie Desh drohi that my friends did not let me watch ! humph!

    did you watch it ?

  17. lolz..
    shahrukh's fan. I too used to be. but not any more :D

    and u can be a better politician than any on e we presntly here :D

  18. hmmmmm..... I kindaa hate IPL now..donno why..

    well India got its World cup in 20-20
    but there's a kindaa absence of all ma fav players fail in it :P

    so I haven't yet followed up any discussion on IpL and 20-20

    though I did celebrate wn india won ;)

  19. i dont like cricket tat much,but i love SRK!

  20. it was written in my clg on a notice board tat "IPL IN AFRICA AND EXAMS IN HELL"!!! :-D

  21. You can make a wonderful politician.. :D

    If you can talk about SRK so consistently... you can do anything you set your mind to ;)

  22. Maachi Even i Like him da .. His Chak de india was awesome more over unnoda kikiki kris konjam over still funny man !!! Ennaku Kricket pathi avava theriyathu da ..

  23. Guys will be guys....but u tooo chriz?? started with SRK and ended up with cricket...ughh!!! and to think of it ur post label said something interesting..hmmm (I am writing this with a raised eyebrow coz that's what people do when celebrities deviate from their topic rt???)
    At least smart 8 year old krizzz predicted SRK's you predict mine?? Can send all the horoscope and home videos..
    I want another SRK funny post minus cricket but you can throw in Rakhi Sawant if its absolutely necessary..

  24. Whoa Chriz..totally agree.. it somewhat felt like ewwwww!! when i saw SRK bathing instead. Am a bog fan of SRK too, but he just made embarrasment thinking of doin some endorsment..
    And no comments for John... all aussies are the same.. as for DADA.. he is GOD to me :P .. yet i understand he lost his magic.
    Nice blog sir! kalakitingo

  25. i love shahrukh..i dont know abt IPL..not much into cricket but i second that SRK should not have accepted the lux add offer..
    he looked,well, disgusting. and i was very disappointed.


    He is a real STAR in my eyes..He deserves every bit of fame and success..He has slogged his way up.

    Lux ad was cool :P

    You are definitely entitled to an opinion :)

  27. To all SRK lovers!

    I need to clarify one point again here.. I am a fan of his acting too. I love the different roles he plays in movies and the way he anchors shows...

    But really has my view on the brand image utilisation at the wrong places.

    You can treat my post as a joke and i definitely treat certain biassed comments as a joke too :P

  28. dude r u a kkr supporter ??

    which ipl team do u support ??

  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

  30. Dis post was more about IPL than Srk!! hey even I used to watch fauji and chitrahaar!!! :D

  31. y is one of d labels on this post "sex"???

    now ki ki ki kriz wat r u tryin to say wid dat label??

  32. @mayz
    sex appeal wrongly spelt bu SRK...
    @Thoorika & Sakshi
    There is more than cricket here...

  33. SRK fan are u???? I hate him.. Though admire this PR and marketing skills. And his brilliance too.

  34. he is all for profits..he'll do whats in keeping with that!
    n u, Chriz could well be the best politician ever:)

  35. hey :)

    Buchanan is being very innovative wen he suggests the multiple captaincy approach. What he has said is fairly simple: there wil be a bowling captain - who selects the bowlers, a fielding captain - who arranges the field and the coach himself - who wil act as captain when the team is batting.

    Main advantages as per me:

    1. Takes weight off of the otherwise single captain. He can now focus on one aspect of the game.

    2. T20 is officially the fastest version of the game. Its much faster if u have ur workload spread out over multiple persons.

    3. Multiple captains means a single guy doesn't take the beating if the team loses.

    maybe more, am not able to think of as of now...

    (its actually not a new concept, it has been tried by the tasmanian county in australian cricket)

    As for ur opinion on the "idiotic" correlation of his strategies to the Art of War, I personally find the correlation coefficient to be one. Sun Tzu does mention that u need to change your strategies as the environ of ur war changes. Thats what JB is trying to explain.

    As for ur "kepler wessels" argument, all i wanna say is - stuff always looks simpler in hindsight :)

    And could u please post where u took ur IQ test? :) i wanna check mine as well :)


  36. Chriz! that's an amazing post.

    Shahrukh, though I don't call myself as his die hard fan.. used to enjoy his acting since circus days..

    I have been following cricket since 80's..Quite passionate when it comes to cricket.

    SRK might be a great actor or a cricket fan but hitting back at Gavaskar, (who had made India proud several times in world cricket) is of very bad taste and sheer arrogance is what it is. Can we conclude that SRK holds more authority on cricket than Gavaskar?

    Buchanan on the other hand with his innovative ideas/strategy is very theatrical. Cheap publicity stunt is what it is. He wanted to grasp media attention and to an extent he succeeded.

    I decided against watching cricket when this vulgar auctioning started to happen. I don't have anything against SRK, as long as he sticks to cinema.

  37. macho man having a beauty splash is another story :) funniest ad.

  38. u deleted the latest post?? i so wanted to read wut the msg was :P

  39. @anush
    thanks for the info bro.. never knew abt the experimenting part with tasmania. checked on that this morning..

    sun tzu talks about managing a team with similar cultural bonds. here buch is managing a team with only 4 non Indian players and all these players (even ishant now) dont go by that. we gotta watch the new technique if it is implemented... and a captain for every aspect! the same concept of bowling coach and fielding coach and batting coach should be introduced by SRK.. i guess he has money to employ them too

    as far as IQ test is concerned, take any free IQ test bro in which you dun have to shell out huge dollars.. try it would be fun i guess.. i dint take an online version

  40. @ viji
    sound judegement.. not just because you support my view, cos you are seriously following the cholw thingie

    reserving it for a better future bro :P

  41. my my srk fan!! :)

    i second VIJI though.. it SRK hitting back at gavaskar was in bad taste..

  42. oye ki ki ki ki ki ki ki ki kriz boy, that was good!! But tell me one thing many actors have really got a chance to be in a bath tub with so many gorgeous ladies surrounding them!!! I'm not his fan, but he royally ruled!

  43. oye ki ki ki ki ki ki ki ki kriz boy, that was good!! But tell me one thing many actors have really got a chance to be in a bath tub with so many gorgeous ladies surrounding them!!! I'm not his fan, but he royally ruled!

  44. i fail to understand how u bring in "cultural bonds" in a game of cricket.

    Its not like they are playing for their Nation, so obviously everyone knows that its just the team as such that stands together. I really dont understand how the fact that Badrinath being a Tamil or Fleming being a kiwi is gonna change their cricketing tactics.

    as for teams having different coaches - it is very much in existence :)

    the IQ test link tat u gave is a very rudimentary one. Maybe u cud try something like -


  45. @raka
    hehe :)
    yes he did that one thing.. i dint think abt that part


    cultural bonding is very important in the case of IPL.. if you carefully take the case of few teams..then the whole idea of IPL with 7+4 combination has to be questioned..(7 being Indians).. stephen fleming is namesake coach now cos skipper dhoni is the one who is gonna make the choices..

    teams having coaches do exist everywhere.. even India experimented with it.. but i was just imagining sidhu as one of the coaches (if and only such a scenario takes place)

    the link i gave you is a free one that i gave you to help you... if you already had this one why did you ask it in the first place bro?

    funny guy you are!!! :P

  46. see its not about lux bombing my friend..that was inevitable..the pt is SRK was the only person who had the kind of persona to do anything about it!!

    And pls even mentioning Anusham Gaekwad and Ajit Wadekar in the same breath as Buchanan is an insult!!..I dont think the Sharjah cup can be held in the same regard as the world cup or anything else that Buchanan has won...and just coz he had a good team doesnt guarantee success EG : Real Madrid!!..

    and PS : Ricky Ponting is a great captain..he won a test series in South Africa with youngsters!! How many Indian Captains have managed that??..

    And at the end of the day, like SRK said..his money his team..he can run it any way he likes rite??

    Not meant to offend ok...just my views..;-)

  47. @dreamR

    this is turning out to be wonderful.. Point taken that Ricky and co won.. But thats when Buchy leads a fully knit ossie team.. but kkr is different..

    Yes SRK has every right to select his team and I have every right to pull his leg cos he is my fav actor ;P

    let us not talk compare football and cricket.. football is a wonderful game .. am not gonna place cricket on the same league as football.. Real Madrid's failure is due to the signing of 8 forwards in their side.. and they play the 433 formation.. they dont have enough defenders and middies to have the right combo.. but let us not talk about football here...

    Anusham Gaekwad and Ajit Wadekar have had their great glorious days.. We gotta mention their names cos BCCI has not given enough credit to them..

    we are beating around the bush and running in circles.. its fun talking about this topic... SRK rules in acting... but he as to use his brains when it comes to cricket.. ;) (my views again)

  48. I hav always been an SRK fan!but i admit he tries to get his way thru words all the time....and sometimes his humor gets on to the wrong side of others!!

  49. Do u have a picture in THAT black dress?? hehe... post it on the blog...

    BTW, I dont like SRK anymore.. he sounds too phoney to me now.

  50. i wanted to know where YOU took the test to get an IQ of 140 or so :)

    so as to see if i stand in the same league as you :)

    i have taken many IQ tests, and of the lot, i found the link i gave u as the most unbiased one. Maybe u shud give it a shot :)

  51. @ anush

    i took it in college.. not an online one.. it was a part of our MBA course..

    as i was in a sarcastic mood, i thought you were pulling my leg too.. would check it our bro... thanks :)

  52. Awesome post on my fav (too)!! :D
    Lux could never have become a uni-sex thingy if not for this man SRK who had not shame and didnt care to take bath in a tub as 10 old&young yet beautiful&charming ladies watched over him!! Only he can do it! :D
    And about Ganguly...hmmm...he needs to settle down in Australia post retirement as a revenge!! What say? :P

  53. "ad-makers of these two brands selected the right personalities and the right storyboard to create wonderful ads."
    they never fail to do that!

    i've always thought L'Oreal should pick me as their ambassador or my grandmother for Fair and Lovely. both companies will crash worse that Lux has for using SRK! LOL


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