Saturday, March 28, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Shazhal is a combination of three forms of music namely Ghazal, Hindustani and Mallika Sherawat. Shazhal was invented by yours truly, yours faithfully, yours obediently, "The Chronicwriter" himself. The speciality of this form of music is that once someone listens to this form of music he/she need not listen to the same form music yet again; rather he/she would not listen to Shazhal again. The versatility of Shazhal is such that it helps the listener to attain karma the moment he/ she listens to it.
Note: My three year old neighbour starts crying whenever he sees me now.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I happened to go to heaven too (in my dream) and watched the terrorists entering heaven. Each terrorist got their 72 virgins and a luxury bungalow too. I sneaked my way to each luxury bungalow and listened to various romantic lines between the terrorists and the 72 virgins. I am posting a few conversations that i overheard in a few bungalows.
$) Promise me that you would marry me. I can't unless i get committed to you
$) I even have an up-to-date health certificate. Do you have one?
$) Yes I am 79 years old. So what? I am still a virgin.
$) Hurry up. My husband will be here any moment.
$) Do you love me more than the other 71?
$) First say your prayers.
$) I am actually not a virgin. But due to recession, God has asked me to join the gang
$) I can fly and I have wings too. You can call me Kiki
$) I am a virgin because i am very ugly
$) No.. You can't kiss me on my lips. I have saved it for my boyfriend
Anyways! All the very best Kasab!
NB:This post is not to bash terrorism or its after effects. A lot of people have blogged about it. The topic is only focussed on the 72 virgins
Sunday, March 22, 2009
- My Dad with his broad moustache.
- My sister frowning at the photographer.
- Me standing in stand-ease position and
- My mom in attention pose.
If you take a close look at the picture, i have circled three specific places as 1,2 and 3 respectively. Number 3 is the calling bell of our house. The chime "Jingle bells" rings in my ears still now. Number 1 is the place where i would climb to press the calling bell when ever i come back from school.
7-A Chellakan Street. My first home.I have lot of lovely memories associated with that place. Do you have any such memory associated with your first house?-Chronicwriter
Friday, March 20, 2009
- Sehwag has the habit of reaching the triple figures with a Six. I have done it too, with this post being the sixth post of this month.
- Just 300 Spartan warriors killed millions of Persian warriors led by the great Persian King Xerxes in the movie 300. I have done it too, killing thousands of readers with my 300 crap-posts.
It is always a great feeling to have so many wonderful readers sharing their comments for the posts I write. I also have many readers who comment on my posts even without reading a single line. Comments like " Oh sweet", "Good read", "Aaaaw","Nice post" are tricks adopted by such lovely souls who just comment for the sake of commenting. I am dedicating a post for such souls very soon.
For those souls who mailed me to console me for my previous post, I ended up replying to everyone saying that it was not my story. I also take this opportunity to reveal some dark secrets about me. Read it only if you want to know about the dark secrets.
- First Name:- Prason
- Sex:- Not yet. Still one among the 72 virgins
- Birthday:- Friday the 13th of April.
- Siblings:- One sister and I call her akka( Mother of Jeremy and Jolena).
- Shoe Size:- It is a big shoe.
- Who are your closest friends:- My Jesus.
- Favorite Number:- onnu, rendu, moon,sun, star
- Favorite Finger:- Thumb. Yes I suck!!!
- Have you ever bungee jumped:- Yes! Once inside the Loo
- Have you ever eaten a Hot Dog:- Yes. But I would have been happy if they had given me some other part of the dog.
- Have you ever been in a police car:- I want to. But no one gave me a ride yet
- Have you ever gone swimming in the ocean:- Yes.In the seashore.
- What is your good luck charm:- My eyes (Just after I get up from my sleep and before washing my face)
- What's your room like:- It is like Princess Diana's bed room.
- What is the last thing you said:- I am hot (I just said it)
- What is the best thing that happened to you in the past year:- My red underwear
- What is the worst thing that happened to you in the past year:- Refer previous answer
- Do you believe in love at first site:- 27 years and I am still single. Please ask the next question
- Who was the last person you slow-danced with:- Neenu. My Salsa partner
- Do you get along with your family:- Yes. I am a homely guy.
- Are you anorexic:- I need a dictionary now. Yes. I poor in vocabs.
- Are you suicidal:- I can make people do that if they listen to my pep talk.
- Are you schizophrenic:- Now the dictionary needs me
- Do you have a crush:- Renu
- If so, does he/she know:- Renu is married and she has two kids now
- Where do you want to get married:- In a church
- What do you dream about:- I am a nuclear scientist in most of my dreams and I would be performing vasectomy on female pythons in my dream
Ok! Enough staring at her. I just want to say that this is my 300th post and I will continue to nag everyone with my silly write-ups
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I quit consuming alcohol two years back. I started it back in college and then it continued in parties at workplace. But when I decided to call it quits, my decision was strong and I took it boldly. In the last two years, peer pressure had tried to pull me back to get back in touch with alcohol. But I was strong in my decision.
“What has happened to me today? Why am I feeling like drinking tonight?.” After two years I wanted to drink tonight. Why is my mind playing such a trick to restart a lost addiction? Was my mind reminding me to drink or was my mind reminding me of her…
I went to a Bar and bought two beer bottles. I did not want to drink at my place. So I went to a near-by football ground. It was 10 pm. The moon shone bright and the sky was very clear. There was a Phone-booth there and a small shop. No body else was around. It was a very calm place indeed. This was the same football ground where my friends and I have got drunk many a times. But tonight I was sitting all alone in the ground with the two beer bottles. The wind was blowing freely. The air around me was still though. The breeze ruffled my long hair and the teardrops dried.
I was crying all along. The guy in the Bar who sold me the two beer bottles even asked me the reason behind my tears. I didn’t answer him though. I opened the first bottle with my teeth. I took my first sip. It was sour. I hated beer but now I needed it.
It has been four years and I haven’t talked to her for four years. I first met her in the year 2000.We were in love for four and a half years. But why am I crying today? Why am I sad? Why have I bought these two beer bottles? Why am I sitting all alone? I did not lose anything. I have my family. I have my friends. I am having my fun for the last four years. But why am I crying today?
She was my junior in college. The first time our eyes met, I knew that she was born for me. "What is your name?”, my rough voice echoed through her eardrums. "Pooja", a soft voice soothed my eardrums. She was my favorite junior and my batch mates were not allowed to rag her (Strict instructions from me). She loved my voice and I started singing songs for her every day.
“Chriz”, Do you smoke and drink? “ Yea, Not heavy though”. She did not talk to me for two weeks. Now I feel I should have left her that instance. But she met me again and asked me to promise that I would never drink or smoke again. I promised but still continued smoking and drinking.
I looked at the beer bottle. It was still full. I have had just that one sip. It had lost its chillness. I looked around. There was a guy in the telephone booth, busy talking with someone
College day celebrations. She was sitting in the crowd. I was on stage with my band.I did not take my eyes off Pooja.She had her eyes fixed on mine too. The vacuum between us was so thick that I could actually cut it with a knife.Lady in Red. My friends knew that I dedicated the song to her.
“Chrissy Boy, Thanks for that song. I love you”
“What did you just say? Say that again”
“Golden words are not repeated”
“ I didn’t hear that clearly enough. Why don’t you say that again?”
“I will tell it to you tomorrow when we meet in college. Till then miss me” and she hung up the phone, I felt like I was the most beloved person in the world. We grew closer.
I am in my final year of engineering now. We now know each other for two years. Two years of togetherness. I took her to the beach. We were in love. Neither of us ever proposed to each other. But we knew in our hearts that we were in Love and we kept on telling,” I love you” every day. I finally popped the question, "Can I make you mine?"... A few minutes of silence.. Our eyes spoke the language of love. Our love finally blossomed in the beach.
The next year (2003), I was out of college. I had bought a mobile phone. That was the year mobile phones came to India in a bigger way. I presented her with a mobile phone on her birthday. We talked for hours together every day. The heavy mobile phone bills said it all.
The next year, I got admitted to an MBA program in Cochin. She got a job in a famous IT firm in Mumbai. We had not met in a long time. I decided to meet her and went all the way to Mumbai. We had a great time. I knew she missed me a lot. She was not the same girl, I once knew. She was a shy little girl in college. Now she is working and she had a matured way of looking at things in life. When I was about to leave, she asked me
"When will you marry me?"
"Wait till I finish my MBA"
"But my parents are looking for a guy for me. It is very hard to convince them. You are Tamil. I am a Sindhi. You are a Christian. I am a Hindu. Do you think that it will work out?"
" Why such a doubt after four years? That too on a special day?"
"Just wanted to ask you! Do you think that we could make it?"
"Whatever happens, I am sure that we will make it through"
Our daily phone calls became once in week phone calls. Whenever we talked, she kept on telling me the different proposals that are coming her way. “Chriz! I think we should break this. I don’t think this will work out” I was left behind. She couldn’t hear me. She couldn’t sense the shudders I silently broke into whenever she talked that way. Why aren’t men allowed to cry aloud?
She stopped talking to me. She stopped attending my calls. I would get a text message saying " I am busy in a meeting. I’ll call you later”. But I would never get a callback. I even thought of begging to her to talk to me. But, Can a man beg? I have heard people say the phrase “Act like a man. Do not beg”. Women can cry. Women can beg. The world accepts these emotions as natural outcomes of feelings. But why are men not allowed to do all these? What are men supposed to do? I never found out.
The two beer bottles were still full. One bottle was open and the other one was still not open. I looked at my watch. It was midnight. I turned around and I could still see the young boy in the phone-booth. He was still talking on the phone. I could hear his voice clearly. He was listening intently for several seconds. Then he spoke in a shivering voice, "Please Minu ... Don’t leave me like this. I feel like dying ... ". I left the bottles in the football ground and started walking. As I walked, I observed his face. I saw a glitter of wetness in his eyes.
and I thought ... "Men don’t cry".
Monday, March 16, 2009
My first prayer was taught by my Mother. The prayer was very simple. It just had four words. It was "Thank You, Jesus. Amen".When I woke up in the morning, I used to say this prayer.The same prayer was said before every meal also.This prayer taught me to Thank God for each and every single thing in life.
God answered my prayers...
In fact when I wrote my higher secondary board examination, I prayed to God that I should get a centum in at least one of the subjects. I had six subjects in my board examination.When the results came, I looked with eager eyes at my marks in the school notice board.
- Physics - I didn't score a centum
- Chemistry - Great marks. But not a centum
- Mathematics- Good marks. But not a centum
- Computer Science - Missed centum by one mark 199 out of 200
- English - It was 190 out of 200
6. Tamil - Centum. Yes I had scored a centum at last.
Joy and happiness knew no bounds. I ran around the school premises and yelled out in Joy. Suddenly I stopped running. Some thing in my mind said that I had to take yet another look at the notice board. I came back to the notice board and saw my marks again. It read , Tamil - 100 out of 200.
God had answered my prayers. I had scored a centum in one of the subjects. I realised that I should be very clear when I pray. Talking about unanswered prayers,I prayed continuously for 20 years that Renu should fall in love with me. She fell in love with every Tom, Rooster and Harry in town. Finally She got married too. God never answered that prayer of mine.The same God who answered my prayers more than once did not answer this prayer of mine.
This question was in my mind for many years and I was contemplating on it this weekend, when my sister sent me a video. In the Video, my sister is teaching her daughter,"Jolena" (My niece and God-child) to pray.Jolena is just a one and half year old baby. Just watch what Jolena prays for... No wonder God does not answer certain prayers...
Thursday, March 12, 2009
- My Great grandfather was the first Lawyer in town. Its always a great feeling to go to my old family house, where His name still holds great respect among the people who live in the locality.
- My Grandfather was a walking encyclopedia. He not only worked in the Income tax department, but also kept his hands clean and tidy and he was known for his straight forward nature.
- My Dad is a Scientist and I have already dedicated a post for him here.
- My Dad's son,"Me" did not want to follow in my forefather's footsteps and hence took the decision to become a humor blogger.
- My Nephew,"Jeremy" is showing signs that he has the Brain-ingredients of becoming the next secret agent of the country.
Maama!, Lamrin Uncle, came to our place this evening and he carried me everywhere . We played peek-a-boo, catch-catch and we even went for some super-cycling.He thought that I was not listening to him. But all the time, he was talking on the phone with someone.I guess it must be a business call and while talking he used the word,"Chellam" in each and every line.
Please help me in pouring your thoughts on romantic names that you'd like to use to address your better half. Wear your romantic caps and let the creativity flow. Till then Let Agent Jeremy discover more through his secret-agent skills
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Are you smitten by the orkut bug?
Sunday, March 08, 2009