Tuesday, January 13, 2009

277. Big Ben is innocent

PG required - Children below 12 years of age are requested to ask their parents to explain certain parts of this post.Anyways the author is pretty sure that the children would be the ones who would be explaining the hidden meaning in this Adult post

This post is not about my friend Andrew. He has this habit of talking insane topics when no one is interested to listen.No ! I am not gonna write about him.This post is about Branding. The reason behind me pulling Andrew into this topic is mainly due to the fact that he was the first person who opened my eyes to the concept of Branding.We were in College. Those were the days when mobile phones and hi-tech electronic gadgets were not introduced into the market. Every guy in college wanted to be one step ahead of the other guy in one way or another. Different routes and methodologies were adopted by every guys to garner attention. Bikes, Guitar and Apparel were the few things used by the college guys of our era.
In our College there were three guys who used these things to make the babes fall for them. When it came to bikes, it was Surya. He modified his Hero Honda CD-100 bike into a sports bike and the babes went gaga over his bike riding skills. All we guys prayed that he should fall from his bike at least once. But he was way too super cool.He was the man to watch in our college.

Talking about Guitar,it was my turn to take the centre stage. I would always dream about the babes going crazy over my guitar strumming skills. But when ever we performed on stage it was always that Loser-killer drummer who got the attention with his stick-juggling act. I hated him.The girls would just go crazy at him and start screaming. Even when I had the opportunity for a one-on-on date with a girl, I would always end up being screamed at (Not the same sorta screaming that the killer drummer gets) Somewhat I never ended up as the girl's guy in college.
And finally talking about apparels, it was Andrew. He could sweep any girl of her feet and heels with his cool dressing. He always wore super-Branded apparels and beat us all in the trade of dressing up for the occasion. When all we guys used to have two pairs of jeans, he was the only one to wear Lee trousers in college. I am talking about the year 1999. Wearing a Lee jean was something very big then.

We would wear Bata/action shoes and he would always be in Reebok/ Nike. He was the first person who took branding to a new level in college. But one day when I was taking a closer look at his shoe, I figured out that the spelling of the shoe was actually NYKE.(a picture of an original nike shoe is added for viewer delight.)
This discovery made us to probe further and soon we figured all his jeans had the spelling Leee. We were very happy for our discovery and we soon announced it to every girl in college. A flower was nipped in the bud.

Branding has its plus points and in some cases it even pulls in political insurgence. In Russia a very popular American condom was banned. The name of the brand was PUT-IN condom. It was Vladimir PUTIN who was heading the government and hence the condom was driven out of the country.

The best case of innocent bargaining power of the consumer is that of Ben Johnson's. I hope everyone would remember his world record beating run in the 100 metres in the Seoul Olympics.He Shocked Carl Lewis and the entire world with that run in 9.79 seconds( The author of this blog takes time to blow his own trumpet now. He still holds his college record for running 100 metres in 11 seconds flat)
Coming back to Ben Johnson,he was disqualified and his record was scratched off because his urine samples contained Stanozolol ( A performance enhancing drug). The Olympic committee did not even give Big Ben a Chance to plead for innocence. But I take this opportunity to voice my support for Big Ben after two decades.

The Real Ben Story ( Explored and Discovered by Chronicwriter):

Two months prior to the race in the Seoul Olympics, Big Ben and his wife were on the verge of a break up. Big Ben's sexual performance was in question. Just to prove her wrong, he took to performance enhancing drugs to save his marriage. Little did he know that he was misled by the pharmacist. At least my readers now know that Big Ben is innocent.



  1. Super da

    Yes yes i remember ......

  2. hahaha.. nice.. and babes like drummers not guitarists who scratch at almost everything including the strings.. .so learn ;)

  3. hehhehehee... cool post!!
    u r getting back at all those boys in ur college:)

  4. how do u knw abt american condoms??? :O

  5. i love guitar.. yes drum too is sensual but i wud fall for chriz nt andrew

  6. I love guitar guys... I wanna learn too! Branding... well, guess that's too common-place now and I'd better not comment, coz I'm a big 'brand'ie too...

    And Big Ben... no idea about the incident! But hard luck, dude... Hope you got your wife atleast ;)

  7. And how you did you stumble upon this discovery about him huh?!

  8. Ha ha ha! You managed to tie up all loose ends well.

  9. Brands! I am not in the club.Thesedays, I sport a street smart Kurti and make it look like some Chaitanya Rao Creation. Scene puttfying in local terms;-)
    I am still a child, so i refrain from commenting over the matter stuff:P
    And you kno what? My best friend is a fab-looker,got some funky girls-will-love-it sort of bike(CBZ latest), boasts a six pack now , a football player,gadget addict,networking whizz and a brand freak.I get calls from many juniors and seniors alike to passover an intro:P Life is good, ya:O

  10. Yo man!thanks dude!atleast now, the world will know the truth!

  11. On the personal front, I'm crazy about bikes, too! bike stunts specially :D
    Not too much into brands, but can carry off my style very well.
    Guitar-I know how it usually works! *sigh*

    And I thought i am incorrigible!!

  12. Hi Chriz I got here by way of Mayz blog. I am Ne's Best friend.

    I have to say you have good knowledge here. I cannot say anything about Brands either, but I live to shop and I have to have some of the branded things also.

    I myself have learned to stay away from Rockers. They are NOT good for you, but a man on a sports bike. enough said here.

    I like your blog.

  13. I love guitars!

    **Just to prove her wrong, he took to performance enhancing drugs to save his marriage. Little did he know that he was misled by the pharmacist



  14. as a guitarist i love guitars :P...my god it was funny indeed ...then the drummers :P..heheh..


  15. reading btw d lines, this is more of blowing-your-own-trumpet post chriz.. he he he.. but if we dont blow(?) who else will..


    i HAVE to like brands even i dont prefer it.. thats my job :-(

  16. How do you know Ben johnson's secret? After seeing the comment from Ben Johnson itself...oh chriz you are so great!!!

  17. dont believe in Brands, i think brands are for insecure people, lacking in confidence:)

  18. I loved this post... it is a perfect blend of humor and some serious thoughts...

    I always wanted to learn to play guitar... my bro got one this week and I decided last nite tht I'll try and find a class to enroll for one :) Is it really difficult to learn it?

  19. branding...dat word kinda reminds me of my job...yeah yeah i have this uber cool brand manager kinda profile :P

    now d post...

    "put-in"...where do u get these things from man???

    n guessin by ur previous post i can say ur loo rocks!!!

  20. Hehe..funny!!Put-in condoms.. :p

    Btw,the gals always go behind the loong haired drummer guys and guitars dun have any place..paavam u!!and so does it hpn wid bikes and apparels..Crazy ppl u kno?? :D

    parava illey..!!there's always a second chance..Yaaravathu vanthu maata thaan poraankah..I pity tht female tho.. :p

    Take care coz I care..


  21. damn man!! i don't know guitar or drums. neither do i have branded clothes or super bike for tht matter(i ride hero jet...that doodhwala bicycle :P)

    no wonder girls remain a 100 yards away from me. :P

  22. ha ha.. I would like a guitarist anyday , may be a drummer.. I'm not too sure..

    Big ben's hard luck..

  23. //Talking about Guitar,it was my turn to take the centre stage//

    Nenjukkul Peidudum maamazhai.. Neerukkul moolkidum thaamarai.. Surya va??

    //Somewhat I never ended up as the girl's guy in college.//

    Gethu thaan bass pasangalukku Sothu.. vidunga!! Naamala ore katchi

    Are you LOYOLA??

  24. I am not swayed by brands..I am just not a 'brand' person.. and I don't remember falling for someone specifically bcoz he sported 'a' particular brand..

    Strumming the guitar is cool tho :) btw, u luk gr8 in tht pic :)

  25. all m goin to say is...m glad ur back! :D :D :D

  26. Happy new year Chriz!!
    Yeah I agree with this part,
    "Anyways the author is pretty sure that the children would be the ones who would be explaining the hidden meaning in this Adult post"

  27. It's true, drummers get all the attention with their juggling act but you can always strumm the guitar on an impromptu situation drummers can't and can impress:)

    I was also a big fan of Ben Johnson but never came to know the fact behind the steriods. Thanks for sharing..

  28. @shiv

    that quiz competition.. yea yeah..

  29. @anusha

    yes i know.. glad that they liked the killer drummer..

  30. @vinnie
    they are all men.. i am still a boy!

  31. @nidhi

    american condoms.. mm general knowledge man!!!

    why dint you study in my college?

  32. @akansha

    haha big b and his wife divorced...

  33. @thoorika

    which discovery about whom?

    andrew? putin? or big BEN?

  34. @jolly roger

    utkaarndhu yosikuroam illa :)

  35. @archana
    join the scene puttufying club...
    lucky you have a six pack friend.. my girl friends are lucky too.. they can boast of a one pack friend in me

  36. @ben johnson

    if only u hadnt posted from your original gmail id, i would have never caught you

  37. @muse

    get a dynamic corrigated test soon.. you can change.. if you wanna.. or if you wanna stay like a tharudhalai like me, you can too

  38. @enchantress
    wow.. thats sweet.. NE is a very long blog mate of mine too.. glad to know that.. welcome to my page.. keep coming.. and yes mayz is talented with his short posts too..

    ill visit your page now :)

  39. @keshi

    yeah keshi.. all we can do now is feel sorry for him

  40. @hemanth

    you a guitarist? kewl.. join the club bro

  41. @rat

    haha.. can scene puttufy in this page only.. vaai illanaaa naai thookitu poyirukkum.. naan enna sonnein... and reg brands.. i am kinda addicted to a few brands now

  42. @sri

    haha that was not ben johnson.. that was a friend of mine doing that naughty trick..

    as for how i knew that secret., its still a mystery

  43. @Renu

    its the perspective we have on it that differs.. thats an opiniated thought..

    i believe that certain brands suit ur image well and there is nothing wrong in getting addicted to a few brands.. why would the term brand loyalty arise if we dint have the complex?

  44. @harshita

    if you like to play the guitar, and if you think that you can play well then there is nothing tough for you..

    its the way you practise that will make you perfect.. all the best

  45. @mayz

    put-in condom stuff was not made up.. it was a real thing... i got it from the virgin records directory..

  46. @multimenon

    second chance? man i have missed more thaan hundred chances till date bro..

    yes some day.. some where.. i pity that girl too.. would send you a marriage invitation for sure..

  47. @abhishek

    like your attitude man.. you have inspired me to buy a cycle now.. will buy a similar cycle and rule the world .. cheers

  48. @shalini

    thats cool.. yes hard luck for sorry ben

  49. @karthik

    nee namma katchi maaplaaa.. freeya vudu.. namakkum oru mangaathaa illamalaiyaa poyiduvaaa..

    loyola illapaa. anga padichurundhaa eppovo naanga ellaaam thirundhurpoam.. theriyaathanamaa engineering padichi puttutein saami

  50. @swats

    level headed .. glad.. and thanks for the compliment

  51. @daisy blue

    btw is this scribbler? hey men i lost your blog link.. i got it back.. i am glad.. hopping to your page now

  52. @josh

    yes to do imprompto stuff you gotta be a sooooper dooper cool guitarist.. i am not a great guitarist to fill that league.. am just an ordinary guitarist..

  53. Where was the adult stuff in this? --> the child in me is asking this!! ;)
    Branding to me important as long as it is from the chor bazaar!! If you ask me, we get the best choices there than in showrooms and at cheaper prices! :)
    Good post...loved the variety in it buddy! :)

  54. @sree
    even i was thinking that there is no adult stuff in this post..

    and thanks a bunch bro for that wonderful compliment..

  55. :D Outrageous...

    Now, don't tell me a person who can play the stringed instrument *cannot* string a lady's heart. ;)

    Poor Ben... :P Your version is in a way parallel to Shane Warne and a pill his momma asked him to have! :D


  56. hii just dropping by to notify u of another dedication at my blog :D
    phew!! the job of a messenger is really tiring...so ul'l have to excuse me for now..will catch up on ur posts soon enough :)

  57. an interesting read chriz

  58. and I like guitars and keyboards a whole lot more than drums..:P

  59. @kartz
    string a lady's heart

    man you gave me the most inspiring line of all time..

  60. @pri
    thanks a bunch girl.. i know that you are doing a great run arnd between blogs..

  61. @anly

    join the club girl.. how are your classes going on?

  62. @nikhil menon

    happy cow pongal bro... moooooooooooo

  63. whole of it.. especially :) that entire part when you discovered that it was duplicate brand of jeans and shoes... :P

  64. My pleasure bro'... :) Lemme know when you string one!

  65. lol...nice! You write well Chriz.You are blogrolled:)

  66. @kartz

    bro the heart says yes .. but mind says no... have wasted those years.. now have to settle down the indian way

  67. Hey Chriz.. I am cool on that.. The Blonde of all Blondes is here if you need to do some research! lol

    And this post right here of yours is great... Poor Ben! lol lol

    Bikes scare me due to being so dangerous but yeah anything in music is grand for me! lol

    Be good and remember All research is free of charge! HAHA!

  68. @mithe

    thanks a bunch mithe.. am blog rolling ya too

  69. @NE
    haha.. free of charge.. added ya in gmail.. hop on in ur free time..

  70. Thanks for stopping by the blog.

    This one was... interesting.

  71. @delizcious

    i loved the humor in urs!

  72. Come on... all girls don't just blindly fall for guys with bikes. We KNOW when they are trying too hard... and yeah wen i was lil, I had a Nike shoe that had an extra line on it. Embarrassing:(

  73. Ne endha katchi? LOL

  74. @crow

    naanga ellaaam romba nallavangaanu sonnaaa nambavaa poreenga?

  75. Neenga nullavana? Seri,accept panikirane.... :) And yeah, this is NOT the oldest blog in the world!

  76. @crow
    did you read point number 4 in the side bar - in the chronic-blog section?

    then you'll know if it is the oldest or not.. i even figured out that i could set the date to the nineteenth century

  77. hahahhaha!! man!! what not a man does to save his marriage!!


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