Saturday, July 10, 2004

22. The professional Walk

All of us would have seen different people with different walking styles. Some trod slowly and a few others walk briskly and some infact run.Indeed we have come across different walks of life.
I first happened to see fashion tv when I was a kid. I watched the models walking all day long. Millions of questions erupted in my mind.

" Where do they come from?"
" Why are they walking all the time?"
" Where are they going?"

This ability to ask many questions landed me in trouble many a times. I used to imitate the models on T.V, by wearing similar clothes and walking around my house.My mother still believes that ,me walking around the house in adventurous clothes had something to do with my Dog's death.

During those days I used to accompany my dad for his early morning jogging.We used to get up as early as 5.30 am and slip into our respective tracksuits and Run in our locality. My dog Bubbly also accompanies us. As the energy levels are pretty much on the higher side for both me and my dad we would get tired in ten minutes time. So we used to take rest on a park bench. Bubbly always showered the bench where we sat. It was his way of showing his gratitude to the bench. We then drag our feet back home and this routine continued for a long time. I drifted away from the main theme again.

Talking about walking, I have seen different walking styles adopted by various great men who have graced this earth.There was this teacher by the name Daniel who taught me chemistry in my higher secondary. He had this unique ability of wearing his pants from his chest.He walked with such difficulty that most of the time he walked as if he had labour pain. Jokes apart he was a lovely faculty.

Then I have seen our ex-President of our country, S.D.Sharma. He mastered the duck walking method during his prime time. The secret behind his walk was that his thighs would not part when he walked. Such an amazing sight indeed. Infact Narasimha Rao soon started walking like him to keep up with the competition. Dunno how I'd be walking when I grow old.Infact when I become old and not when I grow old because I nevr grew past 165 cms.

Talking about 165 cms, I should ofcourse talk about my two heroes Jammy and Sachin.Jammy does his Blog do the talking and Sachin does it with his Bat. The former inspired me to start my own Blog and the latter still makes me to watch the stupid game when ever India plays. Jammy is the funniest blogger I have seen till date. I drifted away from the topic again.
Coming back to what I was about to say,It is indeed a Sight to watch Sachin walking upto the crease and taking guard. But he has some never ending problem with himself that he always keeps adjusting his GUARD.

Then there is this Ostrich walk. I have seen certain Babes who adopt this strategy to throw attitude in the Ogle-eyed society.When I see them walking, I am amazed at how they are able to keep their balance without tripping down.They walk like the falling tower of pisa ( I renamed it). When I entered college I was very much confused with all the different types of walking strategies adopted by differnt people. I wanted to patent a walking style for myself. I even named it the professional walking style.

Professional walking style method1) ladies and gentlemen should wear a trouser that has a couple of pockets.
2) Ten- One Rupee coins are equally distributed and shared between these two pockets.
3) Care should be taken that there are no loop-holes through which the coins find their way and reach mother earth.
4)The trouser should have belt-loops.
5) The person should insert his thumb on the belt loops
6) Practicing the professional walk takes high precision.
7) A flat ramp should be selected for the walking practice.
8) The future professional walker should cover a distance of Ten metres in four seconds.
9) But while he covers the distance, the coins should not jingle in his pocket.
10) The practise ceases when he/she/others cover the distance of ten metres in four seconds without any coin rattling sound.

I practised the professional walk for one whole day and mastered it.Soon I had the opportunity to demonstrate my professional walk. The walk was an instant hit. I had all the heads turned towards me when I walked professionally. I walked past the canteen,cafeteria,girls hostel,boys hostel and I had everyone looking at awe and amazement at my professional walk.

But I stopped performing my professional walk from the next day onwards. I accompanied my friend to the hospital the very next day after I performed the professional walk in college.She had viral fever. The doctor admired my professional walk for sometime.Then he prescribed her some tablets and just when we were about to leave his office, He called me closer to him and told in a concerned voice," Chriz! Do take a course of Pilex Tablets. It will relieve you from the pain".



  1. Pilex!!! he he.. got to hand it to u macha... i dint expect this ending at all.... he he.. u sure kno how to keep ur readers glued!!
    way to go!! :)

  2. Pilex!! Never saw that coming. Was on the floor rolling. the guy in cubile had to give me jab with his shoe to bring me back from the laughter fit!!!

  3. That was a rather long post.. but then I never expected the hilarious ending..:) !!!

  4. Dhanya-> have to survive in the market ma.
    santosh-> By the by, I have never eaten pilex
    Gomz-> The long post.. Thats because I stay in office for almost 20 hours everyday..

  5. Stand tall. Feel confident. Walk as if you are a princess. That's something someone once taught me. And when I started walking this way, I had a natural tendency to wave at people. I decided to walk normally ever after !

  6. Waving at strangers and smiling at them.. Its a great feeling.. and if someone waves back at you or smile back, nothing can beat that

  7. do you get these topics from???
    Tht bit about Shri Sharma and Shri Rao was hilarious!!
    You watch a lot of Aaj tak??


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