Saturday, June 26, 2004

16.My First Experience

Disclaimer: Child Guidance(CG) required for the perverted minds

First experiences are always worth remembering for a lifetime. Being around in this world for quite a while, I have had many many experiences. All these experiences have a first time and many of us will cherish our first experience.

The prelude to my first experience took place due to an incident i saw when I was class 2. My school day nemesis,"Shabir"used to sit near me in class. On that fateful day we had our mathematics class test.Being a guy with exceptional talent in mathematics, I always scored well. But Shabir was always one step ahead of me. If I scored 95, He would score 96. I tried my level best every time to score better than him, but he outshone me everytime.That was one reason why "Renu" always liked him. ( But I knew for sure that she loved me with all her Heart; But did not have the courage to tell me).

Coming back to the test; I wanted to find the secret formula that Shabir used in studies that made Renu fall for him. The test started and we started answering. I answered all the questions correctly but for one tricky question. Shabir too could not answer the question. Just then I remembered the advice that my Granny gave me some time back. " Granny's advice: In times of crisis, Close your eyes and pray to God"
I followed Granny's advice and still coulnot find the solution for the problem. I took a look at Shabir to find what he was upto. He did something that astonished me. He looked to his right.Immediately I looked somewhere else so that he doesnot come to know that I was looking at him.Then he looked to his left and he made sure that no one was looking at him.Slowly he pulled his short-trousers up a little bit and admired his thunder thighs for sometime and in no time , he started writing the answer for the question.His Granny might have injected a bigger advice for him.Even I wanted to do the same thing. So I pulled my trousers up a little bit and admired my chicken-thighs for sometime. But before I could get the answer, the class bell rung and the test was over. As always Shabir scored well.But I did not lose heart,because I found the trick for his success.

Days went by and we were in Class six,and I wrote exams after exams revealing my shiny thighs. It worked once because both me and Shabir got same marks for an exam. Renu never used to perform well in her exams. So one day I went to her when she was alone and wanted to help her by showing the trick only me and Shabir knew all this while. I sat next to her and looked into her eyes and patted my left thigh and got her attention. I knew instantly that she was madly in love with me. I thought it was the right time to teach her the trick and showed her my thigh.Renu screamed out loud and ran out of the class .She never talked to me that whole year.I have heard that love is blind. But in our case, love made her dumb towards me.

One day the teacher saw Shabir writing his exams and suddenly started hitting him.Only then we came to know that Shabir had written all the mathematical formulae on his thighs.The blind faith I had all these years finally dawned on me. From that day onwards I stopped revealing my thighs when i wrote exams. Soon I was in class 7 and new students joined our class. They used latest techniques in copying.

Some of the techniques were

1) Peeping into other's papers and writing the same answers ( Just like one good soul who forwarded my own blog-post to me with his signature)
2) Writing the answers in the steel ruler
3) Writing the answers in small bits of paper and keeping them between the answer sheets and copying
4) Tearing pieces of paper from the text books and copying from them
5) Writing the answers in a small paper and hiding it in the socks.

Of all these techniques I liked the 3rd one the most. I wanted to implement this technique atleast once and soon I got the opportunity for the same. The mid-term exams came. It was Science exam. I was very good in science. But still, I wrote the answers in small bits of paper and took them along with me to the exam hall. I strategically placed the bits of paper between the answer sheets and started copying with high precision. I showed complete mastery in the art of copying. None of the teachers had the slightest of doubts. I finished the exam and felt a sense of satisfaction.I had just done a class Act. Next day morning, the School Principal met me.

Lessons learnt:

1) The world does not appreciate your brilliance
2) I could not sit properly for a week.( My bum was pampered to glory by the principal)
3) While submitting the paper, care should be taken that you do not attach the bits along with answer paper.



  1. It actually happened to one of my frens but a bit diffrently. He wrote (copied) all the answers and left the bits in the desk drawer itself. The invigilator saw the bits and attached them with the answer paper

  2. It's not of much good to US now that we r out of school n stuff, but the latest photocopying thing people use to copy...did u see that ? It's indeed unbelievable!

  3. I can honestly say that I have never cheated on an exam. In my 8th grade science class, the two girls that used to sit next to me would try to cheat off me on the exams...stupid for them really since I was horrible in science!

  4. santosh: we always learn from mistakes..
    sandy: yes! photo copiers should be banned.
    nickel: we are proud of you.. will dedicate a post for non-cheaters soon.

  5. And the sign language used ..
    Like scratching your nose for a yes or may be hitting your head for a No.!

  6. I'd have loved to see how you sat after bum-pampering!
    Techniques No.2 is totally new to me! Wish I'd known that earlier.
    I was christened in the Art of Copying by an accomplished 'copier' very late in my academic life -- during PG, to be exact. And stopped it early too, since I suspected I might suffer from hypertension very soon. :D

  7. :-) came over from seema's blog...and u got me take a walk down the memory lane too.. i..well people used to copy from me and get more marks than me!!! well, its histroy or rther mystory!

  8. Wow!! i havent heard abt ur 2nd technique.. do tell me more abt it.... ;)

    neway 1 doubt!! wen did u become so gud in maths???? :P

  9. gomz: hitting your own head? have you done that?
    Usha: who was that accomplished copier in PG? melisa/ christeen/pallu/vinay...? who who who?
    Maya: Thank you for visiting my blog. Who is seema btw? Do come again.
    Dhanya:I never became gud in Maths. I was born with a mathematical brain

  10. i cant laugh anymore...!
    my stomach aches for laughing after reading just three posts!


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