Chronicwriter is not responsible for any valuables ( Gold /Diamond/ Jewellery / Silk Sarees / Cars / Credit cards / Underwear ) lost by the reader in this blog
Have you ever been to a Men's room in India? The Public Toilets in Indian Bus stands, Cinema halls and Railway stations have a major role to play in the increasing death rate of the male population in India. I have never been to a Ladies' room. So I am not qualified to comment on that subject. (My friend Robert might have the answer)
The Men's room is one place where every man will use one of his hands to clip his nose. When ever I visit a public toilet in India, I always wish that I had more than two hands.
Almost every Men's public toilet in India has two sections
1) The Urinal
2) The Motional
One could survive in the first section. But chances of survival in the latter section is very less.
The main difference between the Urinal and the Motional is that the Motional section has doors and offers privacy. Finding a place to keep your feet on the floor is very difficult in such sections.
Most of the doors have cloth hangers and in most of these "Motionals", one could find at least one Underwear hanging on the hanger. A careful analysis of the underwear would reveal dirt stains in the form of Africa map and Europe map. These underwears can be used by Geography teachers to teach their students. If only these doors and walls had eyes to cry and mouths to wail, they would have created havoc which inturn would have made the Government to clean up the mess.
You can never find a lizard, rat, fly or even a mosquito in a men's room. They all suffer instant death when ever they try to venture into the men's room.Some of these Motionals do not even have a door. This gives unpleasant surprises to oncoming passengers who try to enter the motionals. Chronicwriter has given unpleasant surprises to a couple of passengers in his lifetime.
How ever, things are lot different in Singapore. The Public toilets are so clean. They even have a pleasant aroma. Some Men's room even remind me of Bakeries. People even have photo sessions in the men's room.The picture below was taken in a men's room.(Chronicwriter is the one in the right)
The toilets in Singapore are so clean that one can even eat food inside them. Detailed care and affection is given in designing the interiors in these toilets. I don't understand the reason for the presence of a flower-vase inside a toilet. I remember my childhood days when I had the habit of peeing on the Shoeflower Pot in our garden. When ever I see the flower-vases in a loo, I am always tempted to re-live my childhood days. I hope that History would not be repeated.
Am I saying that India is no good compared to Singapore? NO. Never. I love India for one reason. When you have to go, you can go anywhere. You don't have to search for a public toilet to let free of the Uric acid in liquid form. All you need is a wall. But you can never do that in Singapore. If you pee in public, you will have to end up paying a fee for that. There are cameras everywhere. The last thing you want is your public Watering Video to appear on youtube.
Singapore : You can Kiss in Public. But you can't Piss in Public
India: You can't Kiss in Public. But you can Piss in Public
Note: Today (November 19th) is International Men's day. It is also International Toilet day. Hence this post. Happy Men's day wishes to all men around the globe and Happy International Toilet day wishes to all the women around the globe.
I have lived in Singapore for the last two years. These two years have been awesome. Back home, when ever I saw white guys or anyone from the Black/ Yellow race, I would refer to them as "Foreigners". The name "Foreigner" sounded so hep then. When the Singaporeans started calling me a foreigner, I liked it in the beginning. I used to think ,"Wow! I am a foreigner too". But when I literally understood the Real Meaning of the term "Foreigner" I realised that it was not a hep term at all.
I use the MRT (Metro Rail Transport) system quite often. Travelling in an MRT requires special skills and with my two years of experience in travelling in an MRT, I have become a professional MRT traveller. If you have any plans of visiting Singapore in the future, this post will be of great help (Bane) for you. Just take a look at the picture in the left. Girls are requested not to stare at this picture for more than 5 seconds continuously as it would cause them to fall in love with the protagonist of this post. The creature in the picture is the author of this blog. He is wearing his dirty denim jeans (Check his thigh area). He is wearing this jeans for the last one decade. His hip size has remained the same all these years.
When he raised his left hand to catch hold of the hand-grip in the MRT, the passengers to his left side vacated the seat and ran away.He hangs the blue denim jean in his bed room. cockroaches, mosquitoes (any other insects ) never even attempt to come anywhere close to his room because of the denim jeans. Coming back to the topic, The MRT is one place where one can exhibit pole dancing skills. The author of this page has tried his pole dancing skills once and his fellow passengers threw him out of the train. How ever his friend Ravi (name changed) is very popular in Singapore because of his dancing and singing skills on the train. Check this 30 second High-adrenaline pumping action by Ravi in an MRT.
Now you would have learnt the art of travelling in an MRT in standing position.I don't have to take classes to teach you how to travel in sitting posture. If there is an empty seat, all you have to do is occupy it before anyone could park their rear end on the seat. You can also pretend to sleep when someone really needy people( Old people/ Pregnant women) search for a seat. Chronicwriter was not successful with this tactic too, because when he tried to fake his sleep, he over acted by creating a snoring sound and he was removed from the seat by the railway authorities.
Now, I would teach you the art of waiting for a train. You should wait behind the yellow line. Even if your toe nail crosses the line, an automated sweet voice emerges from the station that says : "Please do not cross the Yellow line".Chronicwriter loves that voice so much and when ever he waits for a train, one can hear the voice more than once. When the below picture was clicked, his toe was on the yellow line and the sweet voice was doing the talking. You can also see the train approaching the station in full speed. After this photograph was taken, Chronicwriter jumped into the tracks and stopped the train with the pinkie (little finger) of his left hand. You might think that he was crazy to do such an act. But by doing so, he saved the life of a puppy dog. The girls in the station clapped at his bravery act. The boys were jealous as usual.
Now you have learnt the art of waiting for a train as well as travelling in a train in standing position. Now I am gonna teach the most important art of travelling in an MRT - "The emergency travelling method". This is a dangerous method and it should not be tried by amateurs. This method requires lot of mental balance, precision, timing and emotional stability.
On a cold and rainy day, after a sumptuous meal (potatoes, garlic included) when your tummy is full, if you are unable to find a seat in the train and if you don't have any hand grips/ poles to hold on to, you can simply sit on the floor of the train. If you sit in this position, 99 out of 100 times, there would be a strong aroma that would suddenly fill the entire compartment (car) of the MRT. Immediately you should close your nose and point your finger at any random person sitting next to you.
You can try these three techniques when you travel by train. Please feel free to share the repercussions in the comments section or in your personal blog after trying these three techniques. Happy travelling. If you have any more doubts on travelling in an MRT, feel free to pop the questions in the comments section. Chronicwriter would consult with an expert team of officials and would answer all the questions in ascending, descending and offending order.
