May 30, 2018

960. Five myths about bed wetting

Warning: Reader excretion is necessary for reading this post

Clarification: Yes! You read it right. You need to read this blog in an empty stomach; because it will make the food in your body knock the back door while you are reading this blog

Relief: If you are suffering from constipation, you will feel alright by the time you finish reading this blog. You might need a cork to stop the flow

Confession: Last night I got in touch with my inner child. I realized he was a bed wetter.

Now you know what this blog is gonna be about.

I have written a lot about bed wetting and about my history with this art form.

This post is about the top 5 myths about bed wetting.

Myth #1
Bedwetting is a hereditary problem

Reality 
It is a myth. My friend Reena’s mother stopped bedwetting when she was a child. Her father also stopped bed wetting when he was small. But Reena still wets her bed. She is 29. If you ask me how I know that, the image below is the answer


Myth #2
Children wet the bed because they’re deep sleepers

Reality
My friend Vijay wets his bed not because he is a deep sleeper; but because he is lazy to get out of bed and go to the loo.



  
Myth #3
Your child will “outgrow” bedwetting and accidents if you wait it out.

Reality

Haha! I am 36. Do you think I outgrew that habit. Poda Ponga! Pulla kuttigala padikka vainga


Now you would know why I leave the towel in my bed most of the time. 

Are you still searching for the 4th and the 5th myth? They are nothing but myths.

-Chronicwriter

May 29, 2018

959. My class room love story

Dedicated to the pink mangoes

It was the year 1988. I was 6 years old then and I was in class 2. I was already deep in love with Renu. Shabir was already the most hated boy in my life. Those who read this blog would have already known how much I love(d) Renu. But none of you know how much sadness I used to carry in my little tiny heart at such a young age because of the quantum of hurt she inflicted on it. This post explains how I survived all such hurt and still live to tell those tales.


Renu was the class monitor when I was in class 2. I used to sit in the front bench.

The benches were small and two students could sit in one bench.

I used to sit with Nisha.

Renu would sit behind me and Shabir would sit next to her.

Every now and then I would turn and look at them because I never trusted Shabir.

When ever I turned to look at them, Shabir would place his arms on Renu's shoulders and that would break my tiny heart into many pieces.

Tears would immediately well up in my eyes.

The class teacher will ask me why I was having tears in my eyes.

I would tell her it is because of the chalk piece dust and she would tell that she was sorry.

Shabir would have a wry smile on his face all this while.

Nisha, who used to sit next to me would notice all this and one day she gave me the idea to have my revenge on Shabir.

When our class teacher was not in the class, it was Renu's duty to mind the class as she was the class representative.

Nisha gave me the idea to make Shabir talk so that Renu would write his name on the board.

This would mean that the teacher would eventually punish Shabir.

I thanked Nisha for her idea and we decided to somehow make Shabir talk out loud.

So the next period, when the teacher was not in class, I rolled up a small piece of paper and flicked it at Shabir when he was not noticing me.

It hit his neck and he understood that the paper had come from the first row.

His doubts zeroed down towards me.

There was pin drop silence in the class all this while and suddenly Shabir screamed at the top of his voice "Chriz! that was you. right?"

I looked at him with an innocent face (The same look that Nithyananda had when he said that it wasn't him)

Renu wrote Shabir's name on the black board.

When the class teacher returned, she saw Shabir's name on the board.

She got furious with him and punished him with the wooden ruler.

Shabir started to cry and as he came and sat in his bench, Renu touched his shoulder and told him that she was sorry.

He now did some over acting and cried even more. She wiped his tears away and told him that she would give him a Maha Lacto sweet the next day.

He wiped his tears and with a wry smile winked at me

That was the day I learnt the story that you can use your sad story to hit on a girl.

I left school that evening with a heavy heart. 

-Chronicwriter

May 15, 2018

958. The legend of Ramar - Athadi Enna Udambi


Vadivelu Balaji and Robo Shankar are two forces that took the Vijay TV comedy scene by storm after the fall out of the Lollu Sabha series. These two could make anyone laugh and they were mainly responsible for the humongous success of Adhu Idhu Edhu.

When these two guys were reaching their peak, another Tamil scholar from a place called Madurai made people to turn around and notice him with his effortless “Enna ma ippadi panreengaley ma” dialogue which became a cult hit. People started searching his name on YouTube.

Ramar anna became a household name. These days, all he has to do is just make his appearance and people automatically start laughing. His trademark body language, lady getups, reverse moon walk, and his songs have taken silver screen comedy to a whole new level.

His spoof show “Ramar veetu kalyaanam” will eat up all the TRPs in the Tamil TV network history. Having praised him too much here, I would like to draw your attention to this video - Ramar’s “Athadi enna udambi”.

99% percentage of Tamil movie lovers would not have heard this song till Ramar came up with his version. The song “ Athadi enna udambu” is a song that was featured in the movie Sindhu Nathi Poo. The song had a meagre 1500 views on YouTube. But when Ramar’s version of the same song became popular crossing 4 million views in record time, people started to search for the original song. 


The manner in which he says udambi for udambu and palli for pallu will make anyone to roll on the floor laughing. To add to his singing prowess (which is a jazz version of the song), he also dances between the words to make it even more comical.

Ramar can sometimes become vulgar with his talk. But if we knock that off and start appreciating the humour he delivers, one can assuredly say that he has reserved a special place for himself in Tamil comedy.

- Chronicwriter

May 13, 2018

957. I have become a bhakt

I am not ashamed anymore. I know you would smile at me and make fun of me. But I have to admit. After much consideration, I thought of coming out of the closet. Yes! I have become a bhakt. After fighting, trolling and rolling with fellow bhakts for more than 5 years on FB, I have finally found that I am a bhakt too.


Two incidents made me to convert into a bhakt.

Incident 1: My great grandfather's friend's diary.

My great grand father served in the army in the Pre-Independent era. His friend Mr Biplap Kumar was a secret agent. He had a 56 inch chest. Mr Biplap was the right hand of Subash Chandra Bose. Using the latest technology available at that time, Biplap trained a man called Modi who went on to become the advisor of Subash Chandra Bose. My respect for Modi immediately jumped two storeys higher. This truth was not known to anyone as it was available only on Mr. Biplap's diary. It is also a national secret. I know I have committed a treason for revealing a national secret like this. But I don't care because I am a bhakt and bhakts like me cannot be questioned or cornered with logic. We defy logic with our sense of stupidity.

Incident 2: MRS Saguntala aunty.

When I was a 6 year old boy,my grand mother taught me how to pronounce Mr, Mrs, Master and Miss. My neighbor Mr David uncle and his wife Mrs Saguntala aunty used to spend their evenings at our house playing with me. One evening I tried to practice my lessons on them.

I wrote the words Mr. David on a piece of paper and spelt his name as Mr. David. I tried doing the same for Sakuntala aunty too; But instead of spelling it out as Mrs Sakuntala, I ended up saying M.R.S. Sakuntala. Everyone laughed out loud. I did not understand why they were laughing; so I ended up laughing with them too.

Recently I saw a video with a title insulting our PM as a fool. I got furious with the title of the video. To cuss the person who uploaded the video, I watched the video. Modi addressed Mrs Sirisena as M.R.S. SIRISENA. It was at that moment I realized that I am the Modi of TamilNadu.



You can smile at me, make fun of me, cuss me and even abuse me. None of your abuses will do anything to me because I am a bhakt.

- Chronicwriter