Oct 2, 2018

976. What is mom having in her hand?


"Brother! Why is Amma standing like that?

" Baby Sister! Slow down. I think she has something in her hand"

" Is she hiding icecream stick for us"

"I am not sure about the icecream part. The chances of she having a stick is more"

" But why would she have a stick?"

" She is going to punish us for some mistake that we did"

" But Brother, We did not do anything wrong"

" We are not wearing an slippers. She has asked us not to venture out without our slippers"

" Oh Yes! And we are not wearing any dress"

"Atleast I am wearing my shorts. You are just in your underwear"

"Should we run away then?"

"No! Just wait here. Let us see her facial reaction"

"Mom is smiling at us. I think it is okay to go near her"

"No! Dont fall for that smiling face dear sister! I am more experienced in this. The moment we are within arm's reach of our amma, her facial expression will automatically change"

" So what should we do? Should we ask sorry"

" Oh No! We should not give up so easily. Just have a sorry face and take one step forward"

"Okay brother! Here I go! But why have you not taken a step forward?"

" This is a strategy. You move towards the right, I will move towards the left. Mom can't catch both of us"

"But there is a wall towards your left. You can't climb the wall too. You will be cornered"

"I never thought of this. You are a genius sister"

" But anna! Did you just pee in your shorts? I can see a wet patch on your trousers"

" Yes! I drank too much of water"

Do you have a sibling? Have you had such conversations with your sibling? I have had such conversations with my sister. When I saw this picture, I could not just sit quiet. That is how this post has come to life.

-Chronicwriter

Sep 18, 2018

975. How to control urine

Of all the things in the world, why this topic? I feel that this topic is important for everyone. I like to make this world a better place to live in. And I feel it is important to write this post today.



This post is dedicated to my friend Rajesh who pees everywhere - In his bed, on the road, at work place, in his pants and even while riding the bike (Vadivelu's urine tank bursting scene is also dedicated to him)

Scenario 1: Imagine you are sleeping in your bed. There is a fire in your neighbourhood ( And there is no fire extinguisher) and you decide to extinguish the fire. So you spray water and quench the fire. The dream is over and you open your eyes to see yourself in a pool of urine.

Scenario 2: Imagine you are going on a tour with your friends in a car in National highway. After 3 hours of continuous driving, the car driver stops the car to ease himself. Now you feel like opening up your bladder too

Scenario 3: Imagine you are in a conference room. Your boss is taking a presentation for more than an hour. The A/C is making everyone shiver. The water that you drank an hour ago is now waiting to be freed.

In all these scenarios, I have given a picture perfect situation where you are forced to act on your instinct. How would you handle such a situation? The following five points will help you to control urine in situations where you have no other go. The author recommends these five points only in crisis situations.

1) Shaking Stevens effect: Sit in a chair and shake your legs in a rhythmic motion. You would be able to control urine for 10 minutes. After ten minutes, increase the pace. A human being can hold urine up to 1 hour using this technique
 2) Listen to music: Do you know that listening to instrumental music can help you to hold your pee? If you do not know this fact, you should try it. 
 3) Cross your leg: You can cross your legs to control urine. But you will end up having tears in your eyes if you do so for more than 30 minutes
4) Drink lots of water: This is like treating poison with poison. Drink one bottle of water. Your bladder will start cursing you. Now you can adopt the Shaking Stevens effect to hold your bladder. This method should be tried only by professionals like the author of this page
5) Let out a silent fart: Yes! It works. If you let out a silent fart, urine puts reverse gear and goes inside your body.

I have done masters in this subject and have written many articles and even submitted a thesis on this subject as a part of my MBA dissertation (It was rejected by my jealous guide who always failed to control his urine). I am posting some of those articles here for you to read in your pee (free) time.

Article 1: A gun to your bladder [link] is a study material for students at Harvard
Article 2: Can a girl pee in public [link] is a post I wrote for women empowerment
Article 3: Nitin Gadkari's urine treatment [link] which will make the Bhakts to buy me a free ticket to Pakistan
Article 4: Cheat code to pee in public [link]

-Chronicwriter 
(Bachelors in Engineering in Urine Technology)

974. The struggle with writing anything online

Publishing a blog post ain't that easy anymore. I have to mentally prepare myself for a battle before even attempting to type anything on my blog these days.

Back in those days, it was easy to write a blog post. All I have to do is think of any random subject and just go with the flow. I let out my crazy creative juices in the form of words and that would just do the trick for me. But now a days humour goes through multiple filtering processes before it is accepted as humour by the common Neeta ( It is Neta. But Neeta sounds better and sweet. Hence used the word)

I do have my political stand and religious stand and that would ofcourse have its influence on my writings, even when I write humourous posts.  These days, I have to think twice before writing any line on this blog. Some of the pointers that run in my head when I type a line are 

  • Will my post hurt the sentiments of any particular religion?
  • Will this post hurt women?
  • Will it hurt the sentiments of feminists?
  • Will it hurt the sentiments of Naam Tamlar fans?
  • Will I have to bear the brunt of Modi Bhakths?
Yes I can fight tooth and nail to respond to those who have a different stand against mine. But would that be of any help to any one apart from fueling our egos? The answer is No.

So the point I am trying to make here is that I have moved far away from my brand of humour because of various reasons; some of which are stated above. Fans of a popular actor forced me to shut this blog down for a week when I wrote a film review about his film. But I am not going to give a damn about what others think. Do you know why I don't give a damn anymore?

Because I am none other than Echa Raja's admin. Now don't ask me if the voice in the video was mine? I leave it for the court to decide on it.

-Chronicwriter

Sep 17, 2018

973. Five similarities between me and a lion


I was watching discovery channel where I saw a Lion hunting down a deer and devouring its flesh. It was a Bodhi tree moment for me. I told myself "If that Lion could eat meat, I can eat meat too".  Now don't you tell me that I am not a lion. I have five similarities with the lion.


  1. I am scared of porcupines too
  2. The Lion's backteeth ( carnassals) are sharp like a pair of scissors. My teeth are sharp too. The sugarcanes I havedevoured in my lifetime stand a testimony to the strength of my teeth. I have also bitten 12 people in my life. All of them had to take TT injections.
  3. The lion has a tasseled tail. I have one too. Next time, you meet me, I will show the tail
  4. The lion can kill insects with their fart. Mine can kill human beings too
  5. The lion can sleep up to 20 hours a day. You have to see how I spend my saturdays and you will accept that I am a lion
In fact my dad actually wanted to name me "Lion". But when my mother told him that the folks from the zoo would catch me and take me to the zoo, he changed his mind and named me Prason Christopher Robin. Now having made it clear that I am more or less the lion of the concrete jungle, I can proudly make my claim that I can eat meat too. This includes beef. Eating beef might be banned in India sometime in the future. 

When that day arrives, I will become a vegetarian and transform myself into a goat that eats shrubs and plantation. I don't have any similarities with the goat. Well I can moo like a pregnant goat. It is tough for me to transform myself into a goat. But if that is what the nation wants, I will indeed change because change is the only constant. (Puriyala dhaaney? Same pinch)

If you have read so far, all I can tell you is that you have to bear with me for some more time because I am closing in towards my 1000th blog.

-Chronicwriter

Sep 10, 2018

972. A lesson on respecting elders



In the tamil movie Kushi, the actor Vijay would call his mom by her name. He would not address her as Amma!. When his friend asks him why he calls her Geetha instead of calling her with respect, he would say that Geetha is her name and names have to be used for calling.
When I saw this explanation given by Vijay, I got a little excited. I went to my mom, tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hi Shoba". Immediately I heard a loud noise. It seemed like the power went off. When I opened my eyes, I was experiencing pain on my cheeks

The next week, I went to my class with my mom's hand imprints on my cheeks

Moral: Respect elders

-Chronicwriter

Sep 5, 2018

971. Teachers day wishes to French Ma'm - Ms Sunita


It is teachers day today and everyone are dedicating a post for their favorite teacher. So here is my dedication to a teacher I liked the most when I was in school. 

She never took any classes for me. But I was always found in her class. The other teachers iterally had to drag me out of her class all the time.

In the Tamilnadu education system, in State board syllabus, we had the opportunity to choose between French and other subjects as the second language in 11th standard. Usually people selected French because it was easy to score good marks.

But being the guy who loved his mother tongue, I chose Tamil as the second language. My aunt (Patricia aunty) was my Tamil teacher in my 11th standard. There were 8 students in Tamil class. The rest of them (80 odd students) were in French class. 

The guys always looked forward to the French classes. I did not know why. But one day when I walked past the French class room, I realised why the guys were crazy about French classes. It was because of her.

Her name was Sunita. She was the most beautiful teacher in our town. Now I know you would feel like taking a look at her picture. That is why I have added this picture of Trisha from VTV in this post.

Instead of walking past that class room, I entered the classroom and sat in the front bench. After that day, I would not attend Tamil classes.When it was time for second language classes, I would rush to the French class and sit in the front row. All the guys would be fighting for a seat in the front row.

Sunita ma'm even thought that I was her student. She only realised that I was not a student of her class when my aunt (My Tamil teacher) came to her class and dragged me out of the class. After that day, even when I was in Tamil class room, my mind would be in the French class room. 

I was hundred percent sure that none of the guys in her class understood what she taught because all of them would have been in a frozen state in her classes. The reaction given by the tutorial guys to Parimala Teacher in the movie Boss Engira Bhaskaran was somewhat similar to the reaction given by my batchmates.

If you say that it was the teenage hormones that made us behave that way, I would have to disagree with you all because our Principal Mr Williams also had a similar reaction in front of her. Usually he would talk with an Indian English accent, but while talking with her, the spirit of Lord Mountbatten would descend upon him and he would talk like a British Laaard with a Scottish accent (Inga logic paarkapudaadhu).

But all these silly crushes did not deter me from scoring a centum in Tamil in my public exam in 12th. Because I believed in three things

1) Dedication
2) Decorum
3) Discipline

On this teacher's day, I extend my sincere wishes to Sunita Ma'm. I hope that she would somehow read this blog. I hope that Mr Williams does not come across this blog page.

- Chronicwriter

Note: My Tamil score was 100 out of 200. 

Aug 16, 2018

970. Just mom things


Mothers love their children. That is true. Nothing to deny this fact. But moms do crazy stuff that will make you cringe.

If putting you in your place is an art, my mom is a Picasso in it.  If you are reading this, you might be able to relate with this post.

1. My mom always bought me clothes with a futuristic thought. When I was eight years old, she would buy me clothes that I was supposed to wear when I turned ten. Her common logic would be " You will grow soon and the shirt will become small in no time". If I still argue with her, she would quickly throw the googly " The clothes will shrink after the first two wash. Hence we should buy bigger size clothes". 

2) To avoid this trouble with ready made clothes, I started prefering custom made shirts from a tailor near my house. My mom would accompany me to the tailor shop. When he takes measurement, she would say " Keep an extra inch. He will put on weight".

My mom's dream of me putting on weight and growing up in stature, never came true. I still look like a college kid.
3) When she feels that the weather is cold, she would make me wear the sweater. I hated the month of December. I would be wearing a sweater all the time.

4) She had a knack of counselling others and empathising with them. When her friends come to her asking for parenting advice, she gives them the best advice.

Rani aunty (Name changed): My 7 year old son still wets the bed. What should I do?
My mom: Don't worry. Give him less water to drink before he sleeps. My son Prason used to wet the bed even when he was in class 6
5) When I was in college, I used to take my friends to my house. On one ocassion, my mom was showing them my childhood album

Reena: Aunty who is this boy in his underwear?
My mom: That is Prason! At least in this picture, he is wearing an underwear. He would always run around the house like Archimedes when he was a kid. 

A picture with my mom taken when I was 23 years old.

Some of the common words that she used to utter when I was a kid are flashing across my mind now

  • Prason! How many times have I told you not to enter the house with your mud feet after playing in the ground. Go wash your legs
  • PRASON! It is 7 am! Get out of your bed! NOW
  • Prason! Go flush the toilet
  • Prason! Did you eat the IDLIS. or did you flush them down the toilet?
  • Prason! Did you pee on the bathroom floor? You should pee only in the toilet and not in the shower.
  • Prason! Did you eat the Dairy Milk bar from the fridge? 
  • Prason! Did you put a wet spoon inside the Boost bottle?
I can go on and on with this. But I am stopping it right here. What are the darndest things, your mom has said?

-Chronicwriter

Aug 9, 2018

969. Not all Brahmins?



The last two days made me realise the Dravidian inside me. When I was scrolling across my news feed, I could see many people praising #Kalaignar. But among them were a few people who were spewing venom. Some of these venoms even included false information.

I agree when we do not like a person, we will look at their negatives with hatred; but to spread false information is plain cheap. I could zero down and understand that those were spewing venom belonged to two categories

1) Naam Tamizhar friends of mine.

I have many friends who are followers of Seeman. In fact, I love certain schemes and thoughts of Seeman. But the manner in which those friends spread false information made me lose my respect for them. I can only feel sorry for them.Will dedicate a separate post for them later

2) Brahmin friends of mine.

Except for one Brahmin friend of mine (my bestie), the rest showed their true colours in the last two days. One friend who gets angry with the #notallmen foolishness, went on to create a hashtag #notallbrahmins

This post is for this second group of people. I don’t think I need to address the first group of people; but I need to convey this to the privileged class

It was the year 1990.

I was 8 years old. I studied in Morton English Primary School. I was in class 3. I had a class mate. Her name was Lakshmi Priya. She always got the first rank in class tests. Whenever I could not attend classes, I would go to her house to get her class notes. 

Whenever I reached their house, I would be asked to remove my sandals outside the compound wall (not outside the house). Then I would be asked to come to the backyard. I will be made to stand near the grinding stone which was at the backdoor. 

Her mother would keep the note book on the thinnai. I will be allowed to keep my notebook on the thinnai and copy from her classnotes. I thought that they were a disciplined family and hence followed this. 

When I am done with copying from her classwork, her granny would come with a mug of water and pour it on the thinnai and wash it with a broomstick. I did not know why she was doing this. One day when I told my mother about this discipline in Lakshmipriya’s house, my mom with tearful eyes told me “From now on, you need not go to her house”.

I did not understand the reason for many years

Cut to the year 1999.

Till then I did not know such a thing called as caste. At home, they never explained to me about the caste system. Even while learning about the caste system in school text books, I studied it only as a subject and I never related it with me or my classmates. 

His name was Santhosh. He used to come to school with a big Tirusul mark on his forehead. I did not know that it was his caste symbol. I was short and hence was made to sit in the front bench. He was tall; but still chose to sit in the front bench. 

It was a practice for school teachers to ask questions to students. I was not the extremely studious guy. I would score in the 80s. Whenever I answered a question correctly, he would either slap me or pinch me and say “Dai parapayaley! Nee ellam padichu enna panna pora” (Hey “caste-name-boy! What are you gonna do by studying?”). I did not even know that the word “parapayan” referred to a caste. 

But I considered it as a cuss word because he would use it in an angry tone. When I shared it with my uncle, he told me that parayar  was actually a caste name and brahmins considered them too low. My uncle also told me that I did not belong to that caste. 

As a Christian, I don’t have a caste, but because our roots came from the caste system, even Christians would ask me which family I belonged to. After a point of time, I started replying to Santhosh by saying “Yes, I am a parapayan! So, what?” 

One of my workplaces

There was this colleague of mine who wrote a mail to the HR stating that I was bringing beef to the cafeteria and it was causing disharmony among employees in the organisation. How I handled that issue is another story.

My bestie

Yes! he is a brahmin. We have different spiritual beliefs. We have different political beliefs. But we eat beef together and we talk about politics and religion freely. I have never seen him degrading people based on caste!  For me he is a shudra; he is a kshatriya, he is a vaishnavite and above all, a human being.

These are just three incidents I have mentioned that has happened in my life. And I love Kalaignar for putting all the caste fanatic Brahmins in their place. 

Next time I see someone saying “Don’t generalise all those who hate Kalaignar based on caste!”, I would just smile and say “Okay my dear Dalit friend! I hear you. But nee konjam moodikittu iru”

- A fellow Dalit (Chronicwriter)

Jul 10, 2018

968. A few seconds before happiness

If you search on the internet using the phrase " A few seconds before happiness", you will be seeing this picture taken in the year 1955. 

You might have also seen this picture on Instagram and as forwarded messages. Today, my friend Madhu sent me this picture. She knows I love dogs.

This picture immediately pulled me back to my childhood. I was 10 years old then. We used to live in Chellakan street in water tank road in Nagercoil.

The uncles in that street were fond of me. All of them knew that I loved dogs. There was this Gabriel thatha who would come home every evening and teach songs to my sister and me. He also told me stories about puppies.

Then there was this thatha called Devadoss. My mom used to call him uncle and hence I also called him uncle. On 1st April 1993, he came and pressed the door bell. I went and welcomed him.

Just look at this picture here. That is how I welcomed him. He was holding something in his hand. I thought he had some chocolate in his hand. But then he brought it forward and there was this little fur bundle. A cream cockerspaniel puppy.

We named him Bubbly because he was Bubbly. He lived for exactly 10 years and Bubbly was literally a part of my life. Read more about Bubbly here [link]. After Bubbly passed away, I could never fathom the idea of having a pet dog in my house because the void left behind by him is something that I have not come to terms with even now.

Today, there are around 5 street dogs that sleep in front of my house and they will not let any strangers near my house. My daughter Anya is asking me to get her a pet dog. I am still contemplating. Probably she might be having her " a few seconds before happiness" moment soon.

- Chronicwriter

Jun 28, 2018

967. Ignorance is bliss

This image captures my performance in my bachelor of engineering degree in the best way possible. 

I scraped through that 4 year course without having a clue about "Electronics and Instrumentation Engineering". 

Now I work in an IT firm as a marketing head. This is what Engineering does to many people in my country.

I loved mathematics during my school days. But Engineering made me hate that subject. I still remember the name "A. Singaravelu". 

We literally had to study the books he wrote to clear Basic Engineering mathematics, Laplace theorem, Fourier transforms. 

All these are con names of mathematics papers that attacked us in each semester. After every mathematics exam, my reaction was similar to that of Mr. Yogi's  in this  picture. At least some of us get over this confused state and walk out of it when we start working.

But there are few lovely souls who still linger in the same wavelength even when they become the EVP of their workplace. No I am not taking a dig at the person you have in mind. May be I am.

-Chronicwriter

966. Keep your respect with yourself


At times we feel like showing our respect and gratitude to those we admire and look up to. That does not mean, that we need to show that respect always for everyone to see. At times, we can keep that respect with ourselves. It will not only preserve our sanity; but also avoid cringe-worthy situations for others.

Shankar was the comedian in the 8th standard C section class. He made a fool of himself when ever he tried to string a sentence in English. Back in those days, officers from the board of education will make surprise visits to schools to access how well the teachers are teaching. So one day, when they made the surprise visit, the board representative chose Shankar to interview him about the class and the class teacher.

Board Representative: What is your favorite subject

Shankar: Maths

Board Representative: So tell me what is the square root of 16

Shankar: _______________ (Blank look)

Board Representative:  Does your teacher teach you well

Shankar: He hardly teaches us (He actually meant that the teacher is a hard worker and he teaches us well)

The board representative took the teacher aside, spoke with him in a stern tone and left.

Fast forward to the year 2017. Shankar has now successfully completed his bachelors program. Nothing has changed much with respect to his language skills. He is now given the responsibility to welcome the chief guest of the graduation ceremony. He goes on the stage and opens with the line

Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Today we have an impotent man among us.

(He actually meant "Important"). Remember the Balatkar joke from the movie "Three Idiots"? A similiar scene has finally become a reality. After his welcome speech, he walks down the stage with his head held high. The tamasha did not stop there. When his turn came to receive the award, he thought of seeking the blessings from the chief guest while receiving the award. The above picture captures this blessed moment. 

-Chronicwriter

Jun 12, 2018

965. How I fought my drug addiction problem in college.



In my first year of college I met this guy called Sundar. If you wanna know more about Sundar, all you have to do is watch the Tamil movie Kaadhal, and look out for a character called Virutchagakanth. He is that unassuming character whom we would never ever in our wildest dreams think of as a bad influence for us. Little did we know that he would change the fate of 5 guys in college. 

Sundar, single handedly spoilt all 5 of us. I had never tasted a drop of alcohol till that moment. But as I did my college in Pondicherry, alcohol eventually found me. Sundar never made me drink alcohol. Alcohol was my own personal choice. 

People in my close circle would know that I was addicted to drugs during my college days. Sundar was the stash supplier for all of us. It all started in the fall of 1999. I know we dont have a climate called "fall". I just wanted to sound cool in my blog. 

So It was sometime in the month of October. On a cold and hot sultry night ( Don't give me that look. That is how those nights were) , I was preparing notes for Basic Engineer Mathematics ( I flunked in that paper) paper, when I heard someone knocking my hostel room door.

It was Sundar. His eyes were red and he was smiling. I ushered him inside the room and he was sweating profusely. I knew something was wrong.

" Enna machi aachu? ( What happened bro?) " 
" Nothing much da! I am just high" 
"Are you drunk?" 
"No, I snorted 10 grams of Cocaine" 
"What! Is not that a drug?" 
"Yes! I am now high and I can see the 7th dimension?" (Appavey avan Christopher Nolan-kku tough koduthaan
" What is that?" 
" You will not understand" 
"Tell me please na" 
" You have to experience that to understand it" 
"But I am scared to take drugs" 
"Smoking is injurious to health macha! But Cocaine is just like sugar" 
" Will I behave weird and odd once I snort it in?" 
"No! Am I behaving odd? I am just high. You can try this pack"

He pulled out a small pack from his pocket, unwrapped it and there it was. I was seeing Cocaine for the first time in my life.

"How should I snort it in?"

He immediately pulled out a broken Reynolds pen and asked me to insert one end of the pen inside my nostril. There was a small hole in one end. It acted like a straw. Then he asked me to snort it in one go. 

When I was about to snort the powder, he stopped me and said that the pack would cost me Rs 10/- He said that it was usually in thousands; but because he had a cousin who has contacts with the underworld, he could buy that imported Cocaine from Brazil. 

I gave him a  Ten Rupee note. He gave a kiss to Gandhi thatha. Then I snorted that Cocaine in. I felt as if I was floating in the air. I actually felt as if two ladies were holding my hand and walking in a cushion laden road. I started to smile too. Sundar and i giggled till we slept off that night. Eventually I started to yearn for Cocaine and every week we started snorting Cocaine. 

This 'once a week' habit became an alternate day habit and eventually we were snorting Cocaine on a daily basis. We even went to our classes under the influence of drugs. Five of us had become drug addicts in our college. Cocaine was in our veins and no one could tell that we were under the influence of drugs because we acted normal even when we were high.

There was no stopping us. Even though I flunked in one of the papers, I eventually cleared that paper and even started scoring great marks in all semesters. I was literally my department topper when I entered the seventh semester in college. 

That night, we were waiting for Sundar to bring us some stash. Even after waiting for a long time, he did not arrive. So I walked up to his room and knocked on his door. He was not in his room. But the door was open. 

I walked inside the room and found some aluminium foil, a hammer and some newspapers in his table.  I heard someone walking towards the room. I thought it was the hostel warden. I did not want to be caught with drugs in my hand and hence I went and hid behind the cupboard in the room.

The door opened and Sundar walked inside the room with strips of tablets. He locked the door and opened all the tablets and placed them in the aluminium foil and started to powder them with the hammer. He then packed them in the newspaper and went out of the room.

I knew that he was going to supply Cocaine to my friends who were waiting for it in my room. So I decided to follow him too. As I came out of the cupboard, my instincts told me to check the tablet strip. It was VITAMIN C tablets (Celin).

I had my heart in my mouth. So this guy Sundar had cheated us for 4 years by giving us Vitamin C powder on a daily basis. That was when reality hit me. We acted normally all those years because we were never ever high. I was angry with Sundar because he had already pocketed hundreds of Rupees, not only from me; but also from my friends.

Note: Please do not tell anyone that I was a drug addict in my college days. Adhu enakku asingam illai. Adhu ungalukku dhaan asingam. 

Additional Note: Due to large amount of Vitamin C in my body, I seldom caught a cold during my college days

-Chronicwriter

Jun 11, 2018

964. Jurassic Park - The scariest movie I have ever seen



I have seen Evil dead, The Exorcist, Exorcism of Emily Rose, Child's Play and many more Horror movies in my life. I have never ever been scared. In fact when I watched "The Omen", I just treated it like a comedy film.

But one movie that scared the living daylights out of me has to be Jurassic Park. I watched the movie in a movie hall. We never had the habit of watching a movie in a movie hall. In fact the first movie I watched in a movie hall was "The Ten commandments". I was a small boy at that time and I slept off in the movie hall.

The second movie I watched in the movie hall was Jurassic Park. I watched it in Nagercoil in the legendary Pioneer Muthu movie hall. I added the above picture for a reason. That scene is what made me almost shit in my pants. Those two dinosaurs chased two little children and while watching that thrilling scene, I literally pulled my legs up and placed them on the chair because I feared that a dinosaur might creep from under the chair and bite my legs.

The two little children would scamper around the room to flee from the dinosaurs and eventually they would escape from the room through the ceiling. When the boy is pulled up through a hole in the ceiling, a dinosaur would jump to bite his legs off. That was the precise moment, I felt warmness in my pants. My bladder gave up and I peed in the seat.

Even today, when I watch the movie, I remember this scene and it still scares me big time.

- Chronicwriter

963. Why I did not become a policeman

I always wanted to become a cop.I had a fascination for guns and policemen. Late in the year 1985, my folks took me to an exhibition. I was just three years old at that time. 

As we were approaching the entrance, I saw a policeman. I was holding my father's hands and taking tiny steps. I freed myself from my father's grasp, ran up to the cop and poked his butt with my tiny fingers and shouted " Appa! Is this a Policeman?"

My father did not know what to do. He ran towards me, picked me up, apologized to the cop and walked away. I was angry with my dad because he had not yet answered my question. 

"Appa! I want to see that gun"

"No! That is a real gun. I will buy you a toy gun"

"Okay. Appa"

He kept his word. We came out of the exhibition with lot of goodies. My mom had bought lot of kitchen household items. My sister had a doll in her hand and I had a gun in my hand. As I walked out of the exhibition, I pointed the gun at the policeman and said "Hands up". He smiled at me. 

I had a doubt and asked my dad in a loud voice "Why does that police man have a big tummy?"

My dad closed my mouth and walked out at a faster pace. I was angry because my dad did not bother to answer my second question too. 

I assumed that the policeman had big tummies because they hid ammunition for their guns in their stomach. At that young age, I thought that belly button is the entrance point through which they push bullets inside the tummy.

I tried to push a nail inside my tummy too because I thought iron nails were nothing but bullets used in guns. That landed me in hospital.

Even when I used to play the game " Robber and Police" with my friends, I always chose to be the police. I liked to wear a cap and chase robbers. During one police chase, I became too hyper, and ended up kicking the robber in his head. Too much of Vijaykanth and Jackie Chan movies made me do that. My folks made me stop watching action movies after that.

When I entered college, I started riding a bike. The traffic police always had a ball and I ended up paying fines at regular intervals even when I followed all traffic rules. That is when I decided not to become a cop in life.  

Now I am putting a lot of weight around my tummy. I think I might become a police officer sometime in the future.

-Chronicwriter

Jun 6, 2018

962. No Plastics in TamilNadu after 2019



When the Tamil Nadu Government announced that they will ban disposable plastics from Jan 2019, I was pleasantly surprised and happy. I was hundred percent sure that Scientist Sellur would have been behind this decision. 

The ban excludes using disposable plastic for packaging milk, curd, oil and medical utilities. So we can still pollute the environment by throwing these plastics around.

The Industries that will b heavily affected by this ban are

1) Supermarkets

Supermarkets rely heavily on branded plastic bags. They have a big bunch of plastic bags at the billing counter. Now these bags have to be replaced by cloth or paper bags. The percentage of customers who visit the supermarket will definitely fall in 2019. E-tailers will have a great growth in their market-share in 2019. It is time for shops to venture into the E-tailing space soon.

2) Catering services

The plastic cups and plates will also be banned in 2019. So caterers will have to use paper cups or leaf cups. Marriage reception costs will go high and caterers will invariably charge high for this change. Plastic straws will be off the radar too. Tender coconut sellers will have to find alternate means to sell their products. And lovers will no more be able to drink from two straws in the same coconut.

3) Political parties

Plastic flags will also be banned. Party flags will now have to be in cloth or paper. The spend on flags will by political parties will have to change drastically. 

4) TASMAC

Plastic sachets for packaged drinking water will also be banned. Lower income people will find it difficult to mix sarakku while drinking. They will start to drink raw henceforth.

5) Silicone Implants

I am not sure about this. But plastic surgeons might be able to answer this.

Now you know why Pamela Anderson's image is used in this blog. It is because she has a plastic floating device in her hand in the picture. Neenga enna nenacheenga?

Chronicwriter

Jun 4, 2018

961. Three decisions that changed the face of TamilNadu


January 1968 should go into the record books as a memorable event in TamilNadu history. The country was facing a major turmoil.

The Cauvery tribunal board was not yet finalised. But the tension and animosity between the two southern states was on an all time high.

At this time, three major amendments to the constitution of the South Indian party was made.

DMK leaders K. A. Mathialagan, V.P. Raman, C.N. Annadurai, A.A. Arumugam and M. Karunanidhi with Swatantara Party founder C. Rajagopalachari (Rajaji) met together at a function and concluded on three major decisions which eventually changed the face of TamilNadu politics.

First decision: The politicians should always wear veshti for political events. Till date when ever there is a political party meeting, they always wear white veshti.

Second decision: The second decision was to field Mathialagan as a candidate in Thousand lights constituency. He went on to win three elections in the constituency and served as the Finance Minister, Minister of Food, Revenue and Commercial Taxes in the Tamil Nadu government and Speaker of the Tamil Nadu Legislative Assembly.

Third decision: A.A. Arumugam was responsible for the third decision. He knew that bribery and fraudulence was at its peak in the party. He decided to curb it. While heated discussion was going on between Rajaji and Annadurai, A.A. Arumugam beckoned Karunanidhi and told the three important words " Alert Aayikodaa Arumugam". Later on he was fondly remembered as Alert Arumugam by his party cadres.

Spot Alert Arumugam in the above picture

-Chronicwriter


May 30, 2018

960. Five myths about bed wetting

Warning: Reader excretion is necessary for reading this post

Clarification: Yes! You read it right. You need to read this blog in an empty stomach; because it will make the food in your body knock the back door while you are reading this blog

Relief: If you are suffering from constipation, you will feel alright by the time you finish reading this blog. You might need a cork to stop the flow

Confession: Last night I got in touch with my inner child. I realized he was a bed wetter.

Now you know what this blog is gonna be about.

I have written a lot about bed wetting and about my history with this art form.

This post is about the top 5 myths about bed wetting.

Myth #1
Bedwetting is a hereditary problem

Reality 
It is a myth. My friend Reena’s mother stopped bedwetting when she was a child. Her father also stopped bed wetting when he was small. But Reena still wets her bed. She is 29. If you ask me how I know that, the image below is the answer


Myth #2
Children wet the bed because they’re deep sleepers

Reality
My friend Vijay wets his bed not because he is a deep sleeper; but because he is lazy to get out of bed and go to the loo.



  
Myth #3
Your child will “outgrow” bedwetting and accidents if you wait it out.

Reality

Haha! I am 36. Do you think I outgrew that habit. Poda Ponga! Pulla kuttigala padikka vainga


Now you would know why I leave the towel in my bed most of the time. 

Are you still searching for the 4th and the 5th myth? They are nothing but myths.

-Chronicwriter

May 29, 2018

959. My class room love story

Dedicated to the pink mangoes

It was the year 1988. I was 6 years old then and I was in class 2. I was already deep in love with Renu. Shabir was already the most hated boy in my life. Those who read this blog would have already known how much I love(d) Renu. But none of you know how much sadness I used to carry in my little tiny heart at such a young age because of the quantum of hurt she inflicted on it. This post explains how I survived all such hurt and still live to tell those tales.


Renu was the class monitor when I was in class 2. I used to sit in the front bench.

The benches were small and two students could sit in one bench.

I used to sit with Nisha.

Renu would sit behind me and Shabir would sit next to her.

Every now and then I would turn and look at them because I never trusted Shabir.

When ever I turned to look at them, Shabir would place his arms on Renu's shoulders and that would break my tiny heart into many pieces.

Tears would immediately well up in my eyes.

The class teacher will ask me why I was having tears in my eyes.

I would tell her it is because of the chalk piece dust and she would tell that she was sorry.

Shabir would have a wry smile on his face all this while.

Nisha, who used to sit next to me would notice all this and one day she gave me the idea to have my revenge on Shabir.

When our class teacher was not in the class, it was Renu's duty to mind the class as she was the class representative.

Nisha gave me the idea to make Shabir talk so that Renu would write his name on the board.

This would mean that the teacher would eventually punish Shabir.

I thanked Nisha for her idea and we decided to somehow make Shabir talk out loud.

So the next period, when the teacher was not in class, I rolled up a small piece of paper and flicked it at Shabir when he was not noticing me.

It hit his neck and he understood that the paper had come from the first row.

His doubts zeroed down towards me.

There was pin drop silence in the class all this while and suddenly Shabir screamed at the top of his voice "Chriz! that was you. right?"

I looked at him with an innocent face (The same look that Nithyananda had when he said that it wasn't him)

Renu wrote Shabir's name on the black board.

When the class teacher returned, she saw Shabir's name on the board.

She got furious with him and punished him with the wooden ruler.

Shabir started to cry and as he came and sat in his bench, Renu touched his shoulder and told him that she was sorry.

He now did some over acting and cried even more. She wiped his tears away and told him that she would give him a Maha Lacto sweet the next day.

He wiped his tears and with a wry smile winked at me

That was the day I learnt the story that you can use your sad story to hit on a girl.

I left school that evening with a heavy heart. 

-Chronicwriter

May 15, 2018

958. The legend of Ramar - Athadi Enna Udambi


Vadivelu Balaji and Robo Shankar are two forces that took the Vijay TV comedy scene by storm after the fall out of the Lollu Sabha series. These two could make anyone laugh and they were mainly responsible for the humongous success of Adhu Idhu Edhu.

When these two guys were reaching their peak, another Tamil scholar from a place called Madurai made people to turn around and notice him with his effortless “Enna ma ippadi panreengaley ma” dialogue which became a cult hit. People started searching his name on YouTube.

Ramar anna became a household name. These days, all he has to do is just make his appearance and people automatically start laughing. His trademark body language, lady getups, reverse moon walk, and his songs have taken silver screen comedy to a whole new level.

His spoof show “Ramar veetu kalyaanam” will eat up all the TRPs in the Tamil TV network history. Having praised him too much here, I would like to draw your attention to this video - Ramar’s “Athadi enna udambi”.

99% percentage of Tamil movie lovers would not have heard this song till Ramar came up with his version. The song “ Athadi enna udambu” is a song that was featured in the movie Sindhu Nathi Poo. The song had a meagre 1500 views on YouTube. But when Ramar’s version of the same song became popular crossing 4 million views in record time, people started to search for the original song. 


The manner in which he says udambi for udambu and palli for pallu will make anyone to roll on the floor laughing. To add to his singing prowess (which is a jazz version of the song), he also dances between the words to make it even more comical.

Ramar can sometimes become vulgar with his talk. But if we knock that off and start appreciating the humour he delivers, one can assuredly say that he has reserved a special place for himself in Tamil comedy.

- Chronicwriter

May 13, 2018

957. I have become a bhakt

I am not ashamed anymore. I know you would smile at me and make fun of me. But I have to admit. After much consideration, I thought of coming out of the closet. Yes! I have become a bhakt. After fighting, trolling and rolling with fellow bhakts for more than 5 years on FB, I have finally found that I am a bhakt too.


Two incidents made me to convert into a bhakt.

Incident 1: My great grandfather's friend's diary.

My great grand father served in the army in the Pre-Independent era. His friend Mr Biplap Kumar was a secret agent. He had a 56 inch chest. Mr Biplap was the right hand of Subash Chandra Bose. Using the latest technology available at that time, Biplap trained a man called Modi who went on to become the advisor of Subash Chandra Bose. My respect for Modi immediately jumped two storeys higher. This truth was not known to anyone as it was available only on Mr. Biplap's diary. It is also a national secret. I know I have committed a treason for revealing a national secret like this. But I don't care because I am a bhakt and bhakts like me cannot be questioned or cornered with logic. We defy logic with our sense of stupidity.

Incident 2: MRS Saguntala aunty.

When I was a 6 year old boy,my grand mother taught me how to pronounce Mr, Mrs, Master and Miss. My neighbor Mr David uncle and his wife Mrs Saguntala aunty used to spend their evenings at our house playing with me. One evening I tried to practice my lessons on them.

I wrote the words Mr. David on a piece of paper and spelt his name as Mr. David. I tried doing the same for Sakuntala aunty too; But instead of spelling it out as Mrs Sakuntala, I ended up saying M.R.S. Sakuntala. Everyone laughed out loud. I did not understand why they were laughing; so I ended up laughing with them too.

Recently I saw a video with a title insulting our PM as a fool. I got furious with the title of the video. To cuss the person who uploaded the video, I watched the video. Modi addressed Mrs Sirisena as M.R.S. SIRISENA. It was at that moment I realized that I am the Modi of TamilNadu.



You can smile at me, make fun of me, cuss me and even abuse me. None of your abuses will do anything to me because I am a bhakt.

- Chronicwriter

Apr 20, 2018

956. Don't change for others


I am at a stage in life where I don't find the need to please others. There was a time when I would behave in a certain manner just to be accepted. But now I have reached a point where I don't give a hoot. 

Do people around you think that you are crazy? Do they make fun of you? Does that bog you down? And do you try to change yourself to get into their good books? If the answer is Yes, then this blog is for you.

You don't have to change yourself for anyone.  Seriously! You can change for your own betterment. But don't do it just to be accepted by others.

Our Hero's father abandoned him when he was two years old.
His mother became mentally ill.
Without having any form of parental support, he started to work as a laborer at the tender age of 7.
He was so much stricken in poverty that he would go without food for 3 to 4 days.

He started step dancing and started using his skills on stage plays and auditioned for getting a role in a Hollywood movie. He was rejected and was told that he was not macho enough to don the role of a hero. He was told to workout, enhance his looks and mellow down on his non verbal skills so that he could be accepted. But he knew that he had a skill that would connect well with the audience and he put his foot down and made a statement that he won't change his style just to fit into the conventional "Hero" role.

He is none other than the greatest silent-movie actor of all time - Charlie Chaplin.

He was diminutive, had a comical mushtache, did not have a masculine body nor a great body language and he was considered to be less manly for his posture. But he used all these so called minuses and packaged them all into his acting.

If you are looked down by people, just pause for a second and think if you can still pull it off with those actions. And if your conviction for that thought is an Yes, just don't change for anyone. Harness your skills and go rule the world.

- Chronicwriter



Apr 17, 2018

955. Anya saves C.Muthukumar

He is C.Muthukumar. He is Anya's favorite doll. He came into her life when she was 3. She is turning 6 next month. 

She gave him the name Muthukumar. I don't know what that initial "C" stands for. That man "C" might remain a mystery. May be the Illuminati knows.

Today when Anya was probing through her cupboard, she found a diaper. 

Immediately she wore her Doctor's apron and her play-stethoscope and analysed Muthukumar's health. She then declared that Muthukumar was suffering from dysentery. 

She then made him wear the diaper. Muthukumar was then made to drink lot of fluids as she did not want him to get dehydrated.

I request my blog readers to wish Muthukumar a speedy recovery so that he can be freed from the diaper. I don't want him to recover within a day as I might end up wearing that diaper if he gets alright tomorrow itself. I thank my daughter Anya for the timely diagnosis that has helped Muthukumar in a big way.

-Chronicwriter

Apr 5, 2018

954. The last straight drive from Sachin's Blade - The 2011 world cup winning men. Part 2



The fourth over of the chase in the finals of the 2011 world cup. Sehwag is already gone. The Little master is at the crease. As a mighty big fan of the little master, I was waiting for his first boundary of that match. Little did I know that that would be the over in which he would be scoring his last two boundaries of his world cup career.

Kulasekara was the bowler. Sanga stood up to avoid Gambhir going down the wicket. Gambhir mistimed his shots but scampered for a single to pave way for the little master to bat. Sanga immediately went back to his original position. The Little master has seen all these tricks in his lifetime at the crease.

In came Kulasekara to bowl the 3rd ball of the 4th over. He bowled a brilliant good length delivery down the middle, giving no room to Tendulkar to free his arms. This ball was so straight that it would have got many batsmen plumb in front of the wicket. But the little master treated that ball as just another ball. He leaned forward and showed the full face of the bat and the ball hit the sweet spot and raced down the ground for a straight driven four. That was the last straight drive in a world cup from the little master.

That was the last lesson for the king of straight drive for cricketers around the globe. If you had not seen that straight drive, please take a look at the video. The commentators go gaga over that shot. Many batsmen have come after he left the scene. But for me, there is only one word that defines batting and that one word is SACHIN.



Apr 3, 2018

953. Ponnoliyil kallarai minnidudhey

In my previous post, I had written about the latest male quartet in Chennai. Well, I am a part of it. We have released our first single "Ponnoliyil kallarai minnidudhey", which is a Tamil translation of a Malayalam Easter song.


You can download sheet music of our arrangement and use it freely using the following link
Download sheet music

Watch the video here


You can follow us on FB too :  Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fisherfour/

 -Chronicwriter

952. Fisher Four - Chennai based male quartet band

After being in many choirs and bands, I am finally part of a four member male quartet. This has been my dream for quite some time. When four men with an interest for music got together, Fisher Four was born. This is our logo which is a result of the words of Jesus from Matthew 4:19 in the Bible.


We will be singing traditional christian songs and write our own songs too. Our first song "Ponnoliyil kallarai minnidudhey" is a tamil translation of a famous malayalam easter song. I have to talk about the members of this quartet.

Enock Stephenson



Enock Stephenson is known for free style singing and his ability to hit the high notes. He sings countertenor for FisherFour. He is a dedicated worshipper and is a well-known graphic designer in the Tamil Christian circle. He started his career as an editor and went on to become the first graphic artist of Jesus Calls. As a forerunner in the Christian media industry, he has anchored and directed many worship videos that are telecasted in Christian TV channels. He writes song lyrics, plays the guitar and a few other music instruments. Apart from rendering his voice, he also directs and edits the music videos for Fisher Four. 

Finley Abraham


Finley Abraham, the Tamil choir in-charge at Bishop Heber Hall Chapel is also the organist at Madras Christian College from 2011 till date. He became an organist when he was 13 and he has been playing the organ in churches for the last 12 years. It is always a joy to watch him play the pipe organ during worship services. He is the recipient of the Victoria Lancelot award for music (’13-’14). He was also winner of the Victor Paranjothi award for music (’15-’16). 

Finley is a Commerce postgraduate, pursuing his PhD after completing his MPhil. He holds a post graduate diploma in Biblical, theological and ministerial subjects from IACS, MCC. He writes sheet music for the songs sung by us. And yea! He plays the organ for our songs. He also sings tenor at Fisher Four. 

Prason Christopher Robin


Prason Christopher Robin is a blogger and a digital marketer by profession. He has been singing tenor right from the age of ten at CSI NesamonyNagar Church choir. He is the great grandson of Rev Samuel Packianathan (First missionary of Indian Missionary Society, Palayamkottai to Dornakal in 1904), who was the author of the song “Aseervathiyum Kartharey” ( sung at Christian weddings) and many Christian paamalai songs. 

With a strong desire and burden for discipleship and sound doctrine, Prason has written and composed many Tamil Christian songs, mainly Christmas songs. He sings the treble and baritone for Fisher Four. He is also the author of this blog.

Anu Selvin


Anu Selvin and "choir singing" are like two peas in a pod. He can sing both tenor and bass with ease. He was a part of the "Nagercoil Mixed Voices" as an organist during his childhood. He has sung tenor for Nagercoil Musical Association. When he relocated to Chennai, he joined St Andrew's Church, Chennai choir to sing bass and later rendered his bass voice for Voice Of Eden. He has sung in three Classic Hymns albums. For the last two years he has been teaching children in chorale singing. 

He is a professional four part orchestrator and arranges music for Fisher Four. He sings the Bass for us.

So that is the four of us. The teaser for our first song is here below.



Do follow our Facebook page : https://www.facebook.com/fisherfour/

If you would love to watch our videos, subscribe to our YouTube page: [Fisher Four]

-Chronicwriter