Wednesday, November 29, 2017

920. Idli Mondays

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The breakfast menu at home was standard during my childhood. My mom would make idlis on Mondays. I used to hate Mondays not just because of school, but also because of the idlis I was supposed to have for breakfast.

We always had Idli for breakfast on Mondays. I detested them like how many Americans hate the Donald of America. My mother would force me to eat 4 idlis. The most common reaction from me would be a duck face and I would make weird sounds to indicate that I was about to throw up. 

My mom would scream from the kitchen saying that If I vomited the idlis, I would have to still eat them from the floor. All the vomit would immediately put reverse gear and go back inside and rest inside my small intestine.

My mom tried all means to make me eat those dreaded idlis. Sambhar, coconut chutney, groundnut chutney, onion chutney, tomato thokku, sugar and ghee, honey, fish curry, chicken and mutton curry were some of the side dishes that she tried to make me fall in love with idli. But I still hated idlis.

When mom was not seeing me, I would throw the idlis out of the window. But soon she figured out I was doing this when the neighbor lady poattu koduthufied this to my mom. From then on, my mom would shut the window in the dining room to block access for the idlis to trespass in the neighbour's premises.

After that, I started sneaking three idlis into my shorts pocket and after eating one Idli, I would rush to the loo and flush the remaining Idlis down the toilet. But back in those days the Indian toilets sometimes used to act funny. One black Monday, the Idlis clogged the toilet bowl and I was caught. It was the year 1992 and I was in class 5. That is when my pet dog Bubbly came into our lives. He came in like an angel in my life. He would eat all the Idlis I accidentally dropped under the table.

Days passed by and soon I entered college and I was introduced to the college hostel Idli. That is when I realized that the Idlis that were made by mom at home was actually a delicacy. But it was too late of a realization for me. When I was in Singapore for almost 3 years, I had to literally pay close to 7 Singapore Dollars to eat a plate of Idli. Incidents like these taught me the great lesson that home food is the best food in the world and nothing can beat mother's cooking.

Yes, I had Idli for breakfast this Monday too. My wife made it. I ate it with mutton curry. It was nice


Monday, November 06, 2017

919. The story behind inky pinky ponky

Inky Pinky Ponky 
Father Had a Donkey
Donkey Died Father Cried
Inky Pinky Ponky

All of us would have sung this rhyme at some point of our lives. This rhyme has helped us to take vital decisions in our life.

I used this rhyme when I gave my CAT exams in 2004. When I looked at the question paper, I was literally in tears as I could not decipher anything in that paper. So I resorted to Inky Pinky Ponky and marked all the answers. Eventually I scored good marks and got into a good B school too.

We have used this rhyme to accurately find the farting culprit in our class too. It failed miserably once when I was chosen as the culprit when someone else farted. It was not an embarrassing moment for me. But owning someone else's part was like making me own someone else's belonging. I still have my doubts on Santhosh.

Talking about Santhosh, he used this rhyme to choose Sandhya over Meena. When Meena cried, he stood there grinning without any remorse. After four years of loving Sandhya, she eventually ditched him and married someone else. Santhosh's gmail password is "s@ndhy@140682"

Do you guys know the story behind this rhyme? If you do not know it, this blog will give you the answer. 

A man had three daughters - Inky, Pinky and Ponky. His wife passed away while giving birth to Ponky. These three girls were beautiful girls. The porukki fellows in the town started eve teasing these girls all the time. Hence the father bought a donkey to protect the girls. Once when a guy followed Pinky, the donkey kicked him between his legs and performed vasectomy for him. You can see the guy in the above picture. Soon the news started spreading across the city. The guy's father was so angry that he poisoned the donkey and killed it. As soon as the father of the three girls heard that the donkey had died, he cried bitterly. He was finally left with the three girls. 

The rhyme narrates the tragic story of three girls and their donkey. When William Shakespeare wrote this rhyme, he literally cried when he finished writing this poem. Historical findings reveal that the three girls went on to marry "Tom, Dick and Harry". After all it is not a sad ending. The three couples lived happily ever after.

Note: I searched every where for the story. I could not find it. Hence I decided to create history; because varalaaru matters prime minister. (Modiya sollala)

- Chronicwriter

Sunday, November 05, 2017

918. My love life and Milk Bikis

Renu was the girl I fell for when I was in Kindergarten. I have written about her many a time in this blog. We had a love hate relationship going on between us all through school life. I loved her and she hated me. 

I loved her in every way possible. Even when I knew that she was in love with Shabir ( my villain in school), my love for her never went down by even 1 milligram. 

I would write to her poems, love songs and even followed her to her home every day; but she never showed her love for me. 

I even symbolically left her love hints using Britannia Milk Bikis biscuits. I am not talking about the useless checkered design Milk Bikis that we get these days. I am talking about the old Milk Bikis biscuits that had the word "Britannia" embossed in each biscuits.

I would first bite off the edges and then eat each letter one by one. But I would never eat the letter "R". That is how much I loved Renu. I used to collect all the "R"s and store it in a plastic box. After a year many "R"s got fungal attack ( symbolical representation of how Renu felt for me). That did not deter me from still adding more R in that box.

One day, my mom saw the box and saw all the "R"s and she got irritated and hence fed those biscuits to our dog Bubbly. I was so angry with my mom that I did not eat food at home for one whole day. But the next day, I was hungry and so I started eating food at home again.


Friday, November 03, 2017

917. The science behind Burps

A Jelly fish's mouth is also its anus. So throwing up and pooping are similar activities for a jelly fish. What is more weird to notice is the fact that the burp of a jelly fish is also its fart. 

At least for human beings we can differentiate between a fart and a burp. My friend Anand used to say that a fart is a burp that forgot its direction. 

Do you know that a person can let out a silent fart; but cannot burp silently. This makes us arrive at the much important question 

" Does Jelly fish fart silently?" 

If the answer is yes, then would not it also mean that it is a silent burp? So going by the principle that one cannot let out a silent burp, we can conclude that jelly fish cannot fart silently. 

Talking about Burps, my classmate Santhosh's burp stinks so much that we always have a doubt whether he farted or burped. 

As burps always come out with a noise, he was never able to blame it on any one else too. He got caught all the time. 


Thursday, November 02, 2017

916. Missing - Royal Stag Whiskey

I found this bottle of Royal Stag whiskey in Tiruvanmayur beach this morning. I clicked this picture to write a blog on it so that this bottle reaches its owner safe and sound. I understand that it is an irresponsible act on the part of the owner to leave a full bottle of whiskey at the beach. But I also believe that a misplaced object should be sent back to its rightful owner. Please share this blog as much as you can till the owner sees this.  Can you please this do this help and make our country a better place to live in?

But my friend Vidhyashankar just reminded me that may be the bottle wanted to be alone as he is a STAG. He has a strong point too. But I don't want to leave him alone.


Wednesday, November 01, 2017

915. She added me for something more than friendship

When I get a friendship request on FB, I usually check the profile of the person before accepting the request from them. People who send friendship requests fall under the following categories
  1. My relatives
  2. My friends
  3. My blog friends
  4. Professional network
  5. Church and Spiritual circle
  6. Music and arts circle
  7. Fake IDs
  8. Fraansheep requests
I have got "7" many a time and it has been fun to chat with such people. Kondaiya maraika theriyaadha fellows.

This morning, when I woke up, I got a friendship request from a girl. I checked her profile and found that we had a few mutual friends. I presumed that she might belong to the music and arts circle. I added her. As soon as I add people, I would ask about them. So I started with the cliche question "Who is this" ( All the grammar nazis would be now pouncing on me to tell me that I missed the question mark in that sentence) and this is how our conversation went

Pudhusu pudhusa kelamburaangaley. I unfriended her immediately. She added me for something more than friendship.