Tuesday, October 31, 2017

914. The puppy shame man

When Hemu touches something it turns into a piece of art. I have always wondered how she finds time to do all that she does. She dances, sings, paints and does somersaults too. If you want to get your butt kicked, you can try to pick up a fight with her.

When I am down and lazy, I always go to her blog for inspiration. This is a picture drawn by her. I don't understand what this is. I thought that this was a man sitting in puppy shame posture. I am glad that he is just showing his back.

When I looked at this picture for sometime, I was inspired and the inspiration started flowing from every pore of my body. The poser, painter and photographer inside me woke up and all of them immediately wanted to showcase their talent. I allowed the poser and the painter to showcase their talent; but asked the photographer to go back to sleep. [Where would I go for a Mark 3? He is a high maintenance fellow]

First the poser

I did not want to pose without clothes. Not because I have any maanam, soodu or soranai. But because I was lazy to shed my clothes. The only difference from Hemu's painting and the poser picture is that you can also see my right hand.

Secondly- the painter

I searched for the painting brush and the water color box. My daughter Anya did not allow me to touch her water color kit. All I could get was a ball point pen and a rough note book. That did not block me from showing my painting (read drawing) skills. As(s) the "W" that I drew was more glamorous than the "w" that Hemu had painted, I decided to add a censorship certificate too

My friend just pinged me and told that the character in the painting is not a guy. Adhu ponnaa?

Follow Hemu's art world to see many more of her artistic wonders.

- Chronicwriter

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

913. Rasathi, Hotel California and Country Roads.

If you had read this blog, you would have known that our band performed a few western classic songs at Aegam Decor Cafe. We did not do a video recording of the performance. But our friends who came to the cafe did record some songs on their mobile phones. Presenting to you three songs that we sang that evening.

Seraph is my sister and she sang Atlast, Feeling good, words, Hotel California Valerie and few other classic songs. I covered Lucky lips, Bachelor boy, Diana, Ten guitars and my own composition. We also sang a couple of duets that included "Country roads". You can listen to that song in the above video. 

Many would argue saying that Hotel California is a satanic song. I have done enough background work to know the authenticity of that claim and when I was strong in my conviction that it was not a satanic song, we decided to sing the song. 

I also ended up covering my favorite Tamil band "Kurangan's song - Rasathi". Infact I killed it (literally kola pannitein) with my own add ons. I hope Kaber and Tenma don't thuppufy on me for ruining their song ( The video opens with that song).

Do check the video. I warn you that this is just a compilation of clips taken from mobile phones. So do not expect a 4K quality from it.


Monday, October 23, 2017

912. Old man on the sidewalk

Old man on the sidewalk, Who art thou?
You look frail and sad and do not even have a pillow to rest your head

Old man on the sidewalk, What is your bank balance?
A dirty pink towel, a plastic bag with two papers and a shirt and a pair of slippers

Old man on the sidewalk, Where is your house?
It is drizzling now and you might catch a cold

Old man on the sidewalk, Do you have a family?
A place you can call home, where there is fun and laughter

Old man on the sidewalk, Do you dream?
Of having a bed for yourself and someone to take care of yourself

Old man on the sidewalk, Why are you here?
Is not there an old age home where you can at-least find some rest

Old man on the sidewalk, Do you have a story?
About your childhood, teenage, youth life and your adulthood

Old man on the sidewalk, Who art thou?
The night is gonna end and you will keep on moving

Dedicated to all the homeless people around the globe. They do have dreams too; but may not have a roof over their head. I do not know what happened to the man in the picture; this might be just a picture which I got from the internet. May be the old man has a home now or may be he is still in some side walk. When you see someone like them, please do help them according to your capacity.


Sunday, October 22, 2017

911. The Arjun Sampath technique of answering a question

I request all the engineering students to take a closer look at the man in the picture. He will inspire you to clear your exams with ease. Clearing all papers to get an Engineering degree is not an easy joke these days. I have been there; felt pain during my exams, beaten to pulp by Engineering mathematics; but eventually rose like a phoenix bird to finally clear my papers to get my Engineering degree.

Some of the papers, that give heart attacks for Engineering students are
  • Mathematics papers (M3 and M4 are dangerous terrorists)
  • Field theory
  • Vera enna varumnu theriyalaiyae. Andha azhagula Engineering degree vaangirukurein ( Power of Madras University)
But there is one paper that can give you piles because of the number of attempts one takes to clear the paper. It is the mighty DSP (Digital Signal Processing). It is also called as "Degree Stopping Paper". It has single handedly blocked many engineering students from sitting for campus interviews.

I somehow cleared this paper with ease. I still do not know a single thing from that paper. Yesterday when I watched Arjun Sampath's debate style, I turned to my wife and said 
"Honey! This is how I cleared my DSP paper. I never knew a single thing in that paper. But still I remember standing up and asking for 12 additional sheets of paper to fill the sheets with my answers. For one ten mark question, I even answered with a film review about the movie Sethu. Three extra sheets were used for that question". 
She gave me a dirty stare. Good that I did not reveal her the marks I got for that paper. 87 out of 100. Check this video to see Arjun Sampath's debating skills and understand how he handles all questions with ease.

I just got hold of a DSP question paper. One sand also I did not understand. Do you understand anything from the picture below? Even if you know the answer, please keep quiet. Do not put vetti scene. Just remember that I have got 87 marks out of 100 for the same paper. So please show some respect.

No one has yet understood the Duckworth Lewis method. Similarly no one will ever understand Arjun Sampath's method of answering a question. I would love to see Arjun Sampath being interviewed by Arnab Gowsami. TRP egiridum.


Wednesday, October 11, 2017

910. The girl in the green half-saree

I was pursuing my third year of B.E. I literally lost any sort of contact with Renu and my love life was almost dead and buried. That is when I saw her. She used to wait at the bus stop every morning to board her bus to college.

The bus stop was right opposite to the house where I stayed. We were 7 guys staying together in the house. None of us had the habit of getting up early. But her presence at the bus stop every morning at 7 changed our lifestyle. All of us started to wake up as early as 5 am, brush our teeth, take bath and present ourselves in the best clothes just to get her attention.

Sometimes she would look in our direction and all 7 of us would assume that she looked at us. She would immediately turn her face and act as if we never existed. But the days when she gave us her 2 to 3 second glance, we would go to cloud nine. All 7 of us would argue with each other claiming that she did not see the other 6.

After one month of just looking at her from a distance, we decided to take it to the next level. The 4 of us would stand at the entrance of our house; Selva would walk up to the bus stop and stand behind her; Edwin would stand to her right and Satheesh would stand to her left. She would have no other option but look at atleast in one direction. She started looking in our direction. So we knew that Selva, Satheesh and Edwin were out of the race. These 3 guys soon understood that she was not interested in them and withdrew themselves from the competition.

That left me, Paul, Suresh and Vijay in the race. We did not know her name and none of us had the guts to make a move to approach her to ask her name. Those days, none of us had a mobile phone. So phone conversations were restricted to the landlines we had in our homes. As we were 7 bachelors staying together in a rented house, we used our neigbour's phone to make calls.

The next day I took my guitar and occupied the position near the door, so that she could see me face to face. Paul and Suresh were angry with me for trying to attract her with the guitar. They walked up to the bus stop and sat there and waited for her to come. Vijay was still in his lungi, scratching his armpits. He did not even take a bath. And that is when she walked in. She was wearing a green half saree. Our hearts started beating faster.

I tried to strum and sing the song "Pretty Woman"; but when I strummed the guitar, I realised that the guitar was out of tune. Paul and Suresh started laughing; they had done this to the guitar without my knowledge. Tears welled up in my eyes because she also started laughing with them. Paul walked up to her and introduced himself. She frowned at him and turned in the opposite direction only to end up looking at Suresh who tried to smile romantically. She gave him a dirty stare that made us all realize that she was hating the special attention that we gave her.

It has been 16 years since that incident took place. She is married for the last 8 years. None of us still have a clue why she fell in love with Vijay and married him.