Feb 11, 2017

856. Injections in the butt should be banned

We are living in a time when Trump is building a wall to safeguard his country; Faithful Nationalists are using the phrase "Go to Pakistan" on anyone who questions Modi ji. I am writing this post to propose a ban on injections in the butt. I am now sitting on one bum and typing this post. 

As I am suffering from fever, I visited the doctor this morning. I thought he would give me some antibiotic tablets and leave me. But when he wrote "Injection" in his prescription, I literally peed in my pants. I am basically very strong and can face any situation; but injections still scare me a lot. 

My cousin once ran away from the hospital, reached the railway station boarded a running train and almost went to Madurai from Chennai. The ticket collector finally caught him travelling without a ticket and fined him and sent him back home.

Coming back to my meeting with the doctor this morning, I took the prescription paper and met the nurse. She took a big injection and approached me. I folded my sleeves and showed by bone hands to her, to which she replied with "Not here; but on your hip".

Closing my eyes, I lay down on the bed face down and pulled up my shirt to reveal my hip.  My hip and Jothika's hip from the movie Kushi are of the same complexion. But the nurse started pulling my pant down. I was shocked. I started having doubts whether she was trying  to take advantage of my situation. But before I could react, the needle entered my butt cheek like a Javelin piercing through a grass field. I let out a shrill cry which would have given Maria Sharapova's grunts a tough competition. I even tried to let out a fart to scare her away; but I missed the timing. The nurse did not even rub my butt cheek. I had to rub it hard.

The next 30 minutes were one of the hardest moments in my life. I literally sat on one butt cheek and drove the car. If you are wondering why I added Sharon Stone's picture in this post, you would have realized by now that was how I drove the car too. Even now I am sitting like this to type this post. It hurts. If I have got the power, I would seriously ban injections in the butt and send them all to Pakistan.

An advice to doctors and nurses: Please tell the truth to your patients. Or at least learn the parts of the body subject from Kindergarten class books. I hope you all will soon learn the difference between the hip and the butt

-Chronicwriter

4 comments:

  1. LoL...you left out how horribly the damn butt aches the next morning because you accidentally turned in your sleep and slept on that butt the whole night

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't scare me now. I am not gonna sleep tonight :(

      Delete
  2. Hey Chris, I still wonder how You would've used the ABC of the car sitting in this position.. Teach me plz

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey Chris, I still wonder how U used the ABC's of the car sitting g in this position, teach me plz

    ReplyDelete

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