Monday, February 27, 2017

863. Priyanka Chopra sets fire at the Oscars

Priyanka Chopra set fire to the Oscar red carpet with a dress that has caught everyone's attention. With matching bangles and ear rings, she had gone into the minute details of carrying herself well at this year's Oscars.

I was scared that her dress would fall anytime. But I am glad that my fears never came true much to the disappointment of millions of fans around the globe. A mason who was working on bathroom construction made a remark that Priyanka Chopra had made a costume out of bathroom tiles.

How ever, what ever said and done, the whole idea behind her dress is an inspiration from Santhanam's costume from the movie "Siva Manasula Sakthi" (SMS). You might argue with me saying that Santhanam's hands are inside and Priyanka's hands are outside. Yes! That's true, that is a result of women liberation. Priyanka Chopra is a woman and she has every right to keep her hands outside. Do you have a problem with that? [I just scored some extreme browny points from 21st century feminists]

I would have been glad if Priyanka Chopra had given due credit to the makers of SMS. But in an era where copy paste is done shamelessly, we can't expect ethical standards from such artists.

Meanwhile Charlie Theron copied actor Jiiva's costume from the same movie (Compare both pictures). She also did not give credit to the actor.

- Chronicwriter

Thursday, February 23, 2017

862. What are the various career openings after Engineering?

Are you studying Bachelors in Engineering? People around you might even discourage you saying that the job market is pretty bad for Engineers these days. Don't believe them. You have an amazing opportunity to get a job in many fields. Engineering degree gives you the perfect platform to get into multiple roles. You can get one of these jobs after completing your Engineering degree

1) Pani puri guy - I have seen a Bihari Pani puri guy in Chennai with an Engineering degree in EEE
2) Auto driver - There are many auto drivers with engineering degrees
3) Ola cab driver - We can also see many Uber and Ola drivers with ME degrees too
4) Hotel bearer - I don't understand the connection, but I guess they were unhappy with hostel food and became a hotel bearer
5) Call centre executive - When you don't get a job in the core subject, this is the immediate option that many resort too. 9 out of 10 people who join a BPO after engineering grow up in the BPO sector
6) Banker - In the last 5 years, the number of banking people with Engineering degrees have gone up.
7) Photographer - All photographers may not be engineers. But all engineers are photographers.
8) Software Engineer -Even if you had specialized in Civil/ Mechanical and Instrumentation Engineering, you end up writing codes and testing them
9) English teacher - Those guys who participate in literary competitions end up as english teachers.
10) Engineering college lecturer - This is one of the biggest punishment; getting ragged by your own juniors and some take this punishment on themselves.
11) Writer - He He. Oorukulla pala writers these days
12) Blogger - I am also an engineer only
13) Standup comedian - I qualify for this too
14) Terrorist- Laden kitta pesureeyaa? Bin Laden
15) President - APJ Abdul Kalaam is an example.

And the list goes on and on. If you are wondering why I used a model's picture for this blog post, it is just a gentle reminder that the jobs that a person gets after completing their engineering degree is similar to the connection between this post and the picture of the model.


Tuesday, February 21, 2017

861. Life is a wonderful teacher

I learnt the basics of Tamil from Jothi Mam (My Kindergarten Tamil teacher) and the grammar behind it from N. Thassiah Sir.

My grand mother taught me Indian History and English. 

My mother taught me to sing.

My father was my mathematics and Physics teacher.

Ashok annan taught me to play the guitar; I hated it when I started to play the guitar as a 7 year old boy; but now it is really useful for me.

I have lost special people in my life because of their wrong doings and also because of my foolish behavior.

I have seen people die.

My maternal grandmother was the first person who encouraged me to write. She was extremely humorous too.

I have never ever got a job through a job site; it has always been through a friend or an acquaintance or my blog.

I have cheated people and I have been cheated too and I have learnt a lesson or two from those experiences too.

I still don't know why I did Bachelors in Engineering. I have no clue about the subjects in Engineering. But I learnt to survive in the big bad world, thanks to those 4 years.

My daughter, wife and my sister have taught me many a lesson too.

We can learn from anyone around us. Children, teens, young adults, married couples, elders, teachers, beggars, crooks and even from murderers. Some times the greatest lessons are learnt from failures in life and relationships. 

Everyone around us have something to teach us in this phenomenon called LIFE.

Be it a happy moment, a sad reality or a betrayal; every single thing gives us valuable life lessons.

The only thing that we constantly do is Learn.

I am still learning.

What about you?


Monday, February 20, 2017

860. Mother's love is like...

In my locality, I saw a child (A one year old baby) sitting in a garbage pick up tri-cycle in the hot sun. As there were no one around the child and as the child was all alone, I parked my car nearby to see if the child is safe.

In a few minutes, a lady came with a water bottle. The child was giggling and said "Amma". She must have been the mother of the baby. That is when I noticed that she has placed a cardboard behind the baby to protect the baby from the hot sun. There was a small cradle made out of a blue cloth. She must be using that to put the baby to sleep.

The mother, then started her garbage collection journey. All this happened in a matter of few minutes and I realized that my eyes were already filled with tears.

Lot of things ran in my mind. The mother does not have provision to leave the baby in the house. There might be no one to take care of the baby at home. The mother has to earn to take care of the baby. She does not have support at home to take care of the baby. She must be under tremendous pressure to take care of the child in addition to her work.

I respect fathers too. Fathers also love their children and in many homes, the fathers don the role of a mother too, to take care of the child. So this post in no way demeans fathers. But this post is a tribute to all the mothers (be it stay at home mothers or mothers who work). 

I saw a smile in the mother's face and I saw that smile in the baby's face too. The baby would grow up knowing how much the mother struggled everyday. 

Mother's love is like... I really don't know how to express it in words. May be if you look at the above three pictures, you would feel it.


Wednesday, February 15, 2017

859. One common thing between my mom and Sasikala

When I was in class 10, my mom made it a rule in our house that I should get up at 5 am to study. I would often not follow this rule and I would be in deep sleep, tucked neatly under the bed sheet.

My mom would switch on the light. 
I would not wake up.
Then she would switch on the fan ( I don't sleep under the fan. So she does that to suffocate me)
I would still not wake up.

She would sprinkle water on my face. I would wipe my face with the bed sheet and still
I would not wake up.
Then she would beat me three times
I would finally scream and get out of bed.

Sasikala took me back to my childhood days by thumping three times at Jaya's burial site. Thank you Chinnamma! for taking me back down memory lane.


858. Will you forgive this girl?

All rights reserved to use this image by Chronicwriter
How many times have we fallen victims for click bait images in the online world? Media channels like Times of India uses images of glamorous women to lure their audience to click a link. In deed sex and sensuality sells big time in the online world. 

I don't know how many of you came here to read this post by clicking the girl's image displayed as a thumbnail in your social media feeds. We all are no different from fish that get caught trying to eat bait worms. The world around us try to control our thoughts and influence our actions. Marketers and advertisers master this trait. The title of this post is a classic example

This image of a girl sitting in a man's lap came in my FB news-feed. It was a sponsored post. Looking at this image, I was clueless for sometime on what those guys were planning to sell.

Were they trying to say that if you buy a girl, you get a second girl at 20% off? 


Were they trying to sell some apparel or technology product or a watch?

I did not have a clue. I even clicked that page trying to find out the list of items that were listed for sale. I was literally stunned to see products that were totally unrelated to the image being displayed in the product catalog. 

All of us get misled by an image. For example the "Flat 50%" off signboard acts like a magnet and it attracts people to shop floors. And if you have been drawn to such a shop and if you had bought a handbag for Rs 3000, do not think that you have saved Rs 3000 ( 50% off). The reality is that you have spent Rs 3000 for a handbag which you might not have needed in the first place because you already have another handbag.

Are you a person who gets misled by pictures?

If the answer is Yes, stall! and think again about the various levels where you get lured. You can take corrective action right now.


Tuesday, February 14, 2017

857. The Two Valentine's day gifts

Two great valentine's day gifts were presented to  Tamils and Indians respectively today. Both these gifts were given by the honorable Supreme Court.

The first gift was packing and sending the self proclaimed Lioness to Jail. The whole of TamilNadu rejoiced along with the rest of Indians when this verdict came out.

The second verdict gave me relief. Now I don't have to stand in attention with fear anymore. I can stand in attention with pride. But I believe that there would be some people who would call the SC a traitor and want SC to be sent to Pakistan

Coming back to Sasikala, I could only remember the Vadivelu comedy where he says "Sinam Konda singatha cell-la adacheengana, adhu cell-laiya sedhachudum! Paraalaiyaa" which means "If you arrest a lion like me, I would break the cell". I could only see Sasikala in Vadivelu's body. This guy Vadivelu can fit into any situation these days.

Note: Please take a closer look at the above picture. Vadivelu in deed looks like Sasikala and the Police man next to him looks like Natarajan


Saturday, February 11, 2017

856. Injections in the butt should be banned

We are living in a time when Trump is building a wall to safeguard his country; Faithful Nationalists are using the phrase "Go to Pakistan" on anyone who questions Modi ji. I am writing this post to propose a ban on injections in the butt. I am now sitting on one bum and typing this post. 

As I am suffering from fever, I visited the doctor this morning. I thought he would give me some antibiotic tablets and leave me. But when he wrote "Injection" in his prescription, I literally peed in my pants. I am basically very strong and can face any situation; but injections still scare me a lot. 

My cousin once ran away from the hospital, reached the railway station boarded a running train and almost went to Madurai from Chennai. The ticket collector finally caught him travelling without a ticket and fined him and sent him back home.

Coming back to my meeting with the doctor this morning, I took the prescription paper and met the nurse. She took a big injection and approached me. I folded my sleeves and showed by bone hands to her, to which she replied with "Not here; but on your hip".

Closing my eyes, I lay down on the bed face down and pulled up my shirt to reveal my hip.  My hip and Jothika's hip from the movie Kushi are of the same complexion. But the nurse started pulling my pant down. I was shocked. I started having doubts whether she was trying  to take advantage of my situation. But before I could react, the needle entered my butt cheek like a Javelin piercing through a grass field. I let out a shrill cry which would have given Maria Sharapova's grunts a tough competition. I even tried to let out a fart to scare her away; but I missed the timing. The nurse did not even rub my butt cheek. I had to rub it hard.

The next 30 minutes were one of the hardest moments in my life. I literally sat on one butt cheek and drove the car. If you are wondering why I added Sharon Stone's picture in this post, you would have realized by now that was how I drove the car too. Even now I am sitting like this to type this post. It hurts. If I have got the power, I would seriously ban injections in the butt and send them all to Pakistan.

An advice to doctors and nurses: Please tell the truth to your patients. Or at least learn the parts of the body subject from Kindergarten class books. I hope you all will soon learn the difference between the hip and the butt


Tuesday, February 07, 2017

855. Even a Chief Minister can be threatened by mafia gang

O Panneer Selvam's shocking revelation today revealed many things, that came as a bolt out of the blue to all Tamilans. The reality in Tamil Nadu is summed up in the following points

1) Even a CM like him can be threatened. If a CM does not have safety, then think about the people in the state. It is unfathomable to come to terms with this thought. The Police arrogance on the last day of Marina protest seems to be orchestrated by the Mannaarkudi family.

It was in deed a shocker for all of us to hear OPS speak
2) OPS has finally opened his mouth and has clearly stated that he will fight with Sasikala alone. He seemed genuine in his speech. When you drop your papers in your firm, you get a new found energy to open up and speak in the exit interview. OPS was in such a form today. In my opinion, this is one of the most genuine interviews ever in recent times. Given an opportunity this man can actually be a good leader.

Please do not mock him ever again.
3) OPS in a span of 40 minutes has become a hero from zero. I remember people calling him as an UPS and mocking him as a dummy piece. I have even made fun of him labeling him as a mixture man. But out of no where, he has earned a new found respect from me and all Tamils irrespective of their party allegiance. This shows that people yearn for genuineness.

4) Tamil Nadu is one state that does not have a Governor now; and no CM too. The state is orphaned. This is yet another sad reality. But Chennai has seen it all. Be it the floods or Amma's death or Vardha or the Marina protest, we have seen it all. We will come out stronger.

5) Vaiko showed his support to Sasikala. That was officially the beginning of the end for her. What ever Vaiko touches is becoming shit these days. He is the official comedy piece in Tamil political scene.

 Govalu! Govalunu!! oru maanashthan oru kaalathula irundhaanaam!!!

Tamil Nadu politics has become like a Mysskin film. No one is clear on what is happening; but sure it is indeed thrilling to be a part of this film with a violin being played in the background.

- Chronicwriter

Monday, February 06, 2017

854. Ten reasons why Sasikala is the right candidate to become CM

1. She is a good administrator, she knows how to administer a job efficiently and effectively
2. She knows how to kick start a campaign
3. She knows how to close matters too with utmost secrecy. Hence she is the right person to maintain top secrets
4. She is a great orator in Tamil even if it means that she has to just read from a piece of paper
5. She knows the pulse of the Tamil people ( Movie CDs)
6. Amma gave her the yellow rose, which symbolically means "Pluck the yellow shawl guy from Tamil Nadu politics just like how I plucked this rose"
7. She is mentally tough, she can make others to become mental
8. She has been cheated by her husband; but still forgave him
9. She loves the poor and needy just like Mother Teresa
10. She is a master planner

No wonder she is the best candidate to become the CM of Tamil Nadu

- Chronicwriter

853. Decoding O Panneer Selvam's resignation letter

It is that month of the year, when people start looking for a job change. Once appraisals are done in the month of march, people would step up the job hunting phase. 

The Tamil Nadu CM, Mr. OPS finally submitted his resignation to the Governor of Tamil Nadu.

Let us analyse the resignation letter

1) He opens the letter without any greeting. This shows he does not want to beat around the bush. In Vadivelu's words, OPS has written this letter with the  "Naan suthi valachu pesa varala" tone.

2) He says that he is tendering his resignation because of personal reasons. It means that it is not a reason associated with his party members. He is going through some personal problem at home. May be he needs family counselling. All family counselors can contact him and find a remedy for him.

3)  He has not only submitted his resignation. He has even asked the Governor to relive the council of ministers too. His personal problem has also affected his council of ministers

4) In corporate set up, there is a two months notice period for employees. But OPS has asked to be relieved with immediate effect. Is buy-out the reason behind this? But who would have bought him out?

5) Finally in his signature, he has written " O Power Star". Where did Power Star come from? 

- Chronicwriter

Thursday, February 02, 2017

852. You can't put a gun on your bladder

I went to this mall the other day and I saw this strange looking urinal. It did blow the pee all over the place. Luckily I was standing at a safe distance. After doing my duty when I went to the wash basin to wash my hands, I noticed another man walking up to this urinal and put his hands inside. 

I frowned at him and gave him a dirty stare and told him "Sir, you look like an educated man. But why would you do that?". He stared back at me and walked away. These days men don't have manners. I was just trying to correct him and he was not ready for any correction.

Talking about urine, you can't easily hold it up for a long time. Men and women are wired differently. Women beat men hands down in holding it up inside for even hours together. But for men, if they have to go, they have to go. This is why, you often see men peeing in Indian roads. 

One may say that men don't have decency. But the reality is that India does not have that many public toilets and the country is designed in such a manner that allows men to pee anywhere and everywhere they want. You definitely can't put a gun on your bladder and say "Stop". 

I am reminded of my professor "Suresh" (Name changed) who was dead against men peeing in the road. He would come to class and give long lectures on why it is wrong to pee on the road side and how it affects our environment and why as MBAs we are not supposed to do that. He used the term "Barbarians" to describe such people. He would use this word everyday in class. We had no clue why he was so much concerned about people who pee in public. 

We decided to teach him a lesson or two. So when we all went out on our college trip, we decided to trap him. The easiest solution we had in our hands was the chilly mango effect. We cut mangoes into small pieces and sprinkled chilly powder on it. Through out the journey, we gave chilly coated mangoes and plenty of water. We made sure that he drank at least 2 liters of water in a short span of time. It was a 8 hour journey to the destination and we knew that his bladder will be playing mind games with him in no time. And so it happened that he could not hold it up any longer. He asked the bus driver to stop the bus and soon as the bus stopped, he got down to ease himself. We utilized the golden opportunity to click a picture of him peeing ( from his back). As soon as he got back into the bus, we started singing "WE ARE THE BARBARIANS" in "we are the champions" tune. He immediately got the message.

The word Barbarian committed suicide in his dictionary that day. 

Moral: Tomato sauce for us and blood for others. This applies to lot of things that happen around us.

Note: The machine in the image is a hand dryer (For the uninitiated)


Wednesday, February 01, 2017

851. Comedian Praveen Kumar

There are a few people who inspire me. Jammy is the inspiration behind my blogging journey. Those who know me personally know that I do musical stand up comedy. I love many Indian stand up comedians. Kenny Sebastian, Abish, Kannan Gill, Biswa, Rahul Subramaniam are some comedians I follow and adore. But above all I love this man "Praveen Kumar" because his comedy is clean.

In an age where comedians think that they have to use the F word in every sentence to make people laugh, here is a man who does not use any vulgar language; but still cracks every one up with his humor. If you have not heard his stand up comedies, it is high time that you started following him.

His clean humor is his USP. This is one reason why corporate companies love to have him in their shows.  He even left his high paying IT job to do stand up comedy full time. He has taken the job of making people laugh as his full time job. We need more people like him.

If you want to have a stand up comedian for your shows, just contact him at the earliest [link], because his calendar is already getting filled up. He relates with all of us with simple humor. Check one of his videos here

May his tribe increase