May 26, 2016

792. Between Now and Forever - book cover review

These days every Tom,Beep and Harry who reads a book becomes a book reviewer. After reviewing a book, people end up giving 3 star or 4 star ratings. I have a friend who once gave a 3.65 rating for a book that he reviewed. As soon as I saw the rating I started laughing out loud. How on earth did he arrive at that 0.65? Verithanamaaana professional reviewer; it seems. 

Here I am going to a Book Cover review for a blog friend of mine. Just because she is a blog friend, I am not going to give 5 stars for the review. My daughter always asks me to draw stars in her hand with a sketch pen to encourage her. Sometimes I give her 5 stars and sometimes I end up giving her 3.65 star ratings (Inspired by my friend).


Let me now start reviewing the cover of Meera's book "Between Now and Forever".  My friend Kirthi thinks that BTW is the acronym for Between. Once when I told her that BTW stands for "By The Way" and it has nothing to do with Between, she blocked me on Facebook.  How ever she started checking my FB page from her husband's profile and made sure to point out typos and grammatical errors in my FB posts. So I blocked him on FB and started watching both their FB activities from my wife's FB ID. My wife noticed this and blocked both of them. 

The title font in the cover reminded me of Captain Vijaykanth in ukkira kobam when he faces Bagisdhan dheeviravaadhigal. Meera has strategically used that font to bring captain in front of our eyes. Check Captain's eyebrows and the word NOW. Meera has left a subliminally coded message in that word NOW. If the letter N is captain's right eyebrow; W - his left eyebrow, then the letter"O" is Captain's Netrikann.



Now let us move to the next part of the cover - the kissing couple. I was shocked to see that picture, not because they were kissing in the middle of the road; but because of their lack of responsibility towards life.

Why are they standing in the middle of the road to kiss? What will happen to them if a car or a truck hits them. They could have stood in the side of the road to kiss. This is where I started to read the short blurb in the back cover. "The Hero was responsible for the death of his pregnant girlfriend". He had already killed one girl and was he trying to kill the other girl too? That may be a reason for him kissing her in the middle of the road. The kissing scene probably takes place in Darjeeling where the hero is trying to do kasamusa with his second girlfriend. But in that case, the girl should have at least worn a full pant. Her legs are bare and she would be freezing. I am sure that this hero is such a sadist. I already hate him for torturing the girl like this.

Another important thing that I noticed from the picture was the unusual leg position of the heroine. Why was she raising her left leg while kissing? My pet dog Bubbly used to lift his left legs to pee. But I don't think the heroine is controlling her bladder here. May be Meera has hidden the crux of the story here. When I read the book I will expound that secret.

While looking at this picture, I could not control my tears. It reminded me of my Darjeeling girlfriend. I have already written about her here [link]. This is my analysis of the book based only on the front cover. I have lots to say about the back cover too; but as the author is an English teacher, I will stop here. 

I will read this book and write a detailed review in my FB page. Till then you can all stay peacefully. BTW, can you guys please rate my review?

-Chronicwriter.

May 25, 2016

791. We are Engineers Da! We can solve anything - Climax

Click this [link] to read the first part.
I still have no clue on what made us think that we were computer experts. But just 5 minutes after Edwin had uttered those golden words " Machi, we are Engineers da. We can solve anything", we had actually opened the CPU tower. We thought that by opening the tower we would have us access to the CD. But only when we opened it , did we realize that the CD was still inside the CD player. 

Andrew: Machi! I guess if we unscrew the CD player from the slot, we could open the CD player
Edwin: Yes that's what we should do. Use this star screw driver

Even after the CD player was removed from the slot, the CD was still intact inside the player. In our enthusiasm, we failed to realize that we had also unplugged certain cards, chords and wires from the PC board. 

Edwin used the screw driver in the CD slot and to make matters worse the slot gave up and finally broke. We looked at each other with pain-stricken faces. I was almost in tears. I suggested that we leave that place and head back to hostel. But Edwin was adamant on not leaving without the CD. At this juncture power was restored. If only we had waited for the power to come back, all this would not have happened. We connected the wires and switched on the CPU and to our dismay the computer would not boot. 

In a fit of rage, Edwin broke open the CD player and took his CD. We left the place and went back to our hostel. The next morning when we went to college, the computer lab was crowded with people. The college director, all the professors and even the local MLA and police was there in the computer lab.


Edwin started to to talk Gibberish
Andrew was frozen but did not show it outside
I peed in my pants. 

The Director called all the students to assemble in front of the computer lab in the big cricket ground. He came to the parapet wall near the computer lab door and looked at us. It resembled a scene from the movie Gladiator where all the Gladiators were in the Colosseum trying to save their lives with Caesar watching them from the stands.

He asked all the day scholars and the girls to go to their respective classes. So out of 160 students in our batch, almost 120 of them went to the classes. The 40 hostelers from the boys hostel were now standing in front of him. He then called 10 of those guys to come forward and he gave that "Neenga ellam adhukku sari pattu varamaateenga expression" and asked them to go to their respective classes too.

So 30 of us were now left in the ground and all 3 of us who were involved in the breaking act were also there. We were shocked by his filtering skills. He then asked all the students from AP to go back to the classes. Only 12 of us remained in the ground. 

Then he asked 6 students to come forward. Edwin was among the 6. Andrew and I were not there in the list. He asked them to come up to the first floor. The police official was standing next to him. They spoke to the six students for some 5 minutes and let them go back to their classrooms. 

Andrew and I looked at each other with shock and disbelief thinking how Edwin could go back to the class room without getting caught. We started talking to each other and the Police official saw us discussing. Immediately we were summoned up to the class room. We knew it was over. So Andrew and I decided to surrender. At the same time we decided to surrender along with Edwin. We fell flat on the floor and started pleading to forgive us. We also told Edwin was also involved in the act. Edwin was immediately asked to bring that CD.

When he brought the CD back, the director checked the CD in the big VCD player in his room. It could not get any worse for us because the first image that appeared on the screen was this visual and to make matters worse, the movie stopped playing.


Director : Are you guys watching porn in college?
We: No sir, that's Hey Ram movie. Kamal and Rani Mukherjee 
Director: Don't play the fool here.

We received some solid advice on life and a long lecture on philosophy and how to control sexual desires. We also went through a counselling session from one of our college counselors. We were also suspended from college for ten days, in addition to paying a huge fine. 

When we came back to our college, we had a new nick name. Our batch mates started calling us the porn stars. The lady professors stopped looking at us face to face and our college girls kept a safe distance from us. But things became normal as days went by.

16 years have gone after this incident and recently when I went to a college to give an inspirational talk  ( which I do from time to time), my laptop stopped working. A student came to me and told that he can help me repair the laptop. He spent some time with the laptop and in ten minutes time the laptop started working fine. 

Me: What stream are you studying here?
He: Mechanical sir
Me: Then how did you manage to repair a very complicated problem in my lap top?
He: Sir! We are Engineers and we can do anything.

Avanoda confidence enakku romba pudichurundhuchu

- Chronicwriter

May 13, 2016

790. We are Engineers Da! We can solve anything - Part 1

This is a story from my Engineering college days.


Time: Summer of 2000

Characters

1) Edwin: BE 2nd year - Electrical and Electronics major

2) Andrew: BE 2nd year - Electronics and Communications major

3) Chriz (Me): BE 2nd year - Electronics and Instrumentation major

This incident happened 16 years ago. Back then, none of us knew that all 3 of us would be working in IT firms in 2016; nothing to do with our core majors. But who cares? Engineering days gave us great memories in college.

In our college there were four departments

1) EEE - This was like the mechanical department of other engineering colleges. The terror boys of our college were from this department. The department boasted of some of the best singers, dancers and sportsmen; but it did not have a single studious student. You can't find a single proper looking girl in this department. Our Edwin is from this department

2) ECE - This department had an equal balance of girls and boys. It was not the best department in college. But it had the best lecturers in our college. Andrew belonged to this department.

3) CSE - The department of the babes. The poshest babes and the cool dudes belonged to this department. So the rest of the department boys would be found loitering around the CSE class rooms all the time. None of our friends were from this department because we were not the cool dudes of the college. We were the local boys

4) EIE - Even till now I do not know why this department exists in the first place. After 4 years of being in this department, I have not figured out if this stream of engineering has anything to do with Instrumentation engineering or electronics engineering. I really do not know. But I survived there

Story


Edwin, Andrew and I were always fascinated by the computer lab in our college. Because none of us had the privilege to sit in front of computers and do cool stuff in the lab. When we walked past the computer lab, we would take a peep into the lab and see the babes in our college staring at the screens (Little did we know that we would be doing the same thing in 16 years time)

The labs we were exposed to had lathes, breadboards and multi-meters. We hated them and hence always longed to enter the computer lab. Those were the days when movies started coming in VCD format. The computer lab had a couple of computers with CD players. As we 3 were hostel mates, we decided to watch movies in those computers at night time.

Breaking into the computer lab was not an easy joke. There were only two ways to enter the computer lab

1) Through the computer lab main door
2) Through the sliding window of the lab

There is no way one could enter through the main door unless and until it is opened with a key. But entering through the sliding window was easy. All we had to do was use a small screwdriver to slide the window and enter the lab.

So one night after the dinner time was over, we 3 slipped out of the hostel and entered the computer lab. We made sure not to switch on the lights inside the lab as it would alert the watchman who walks around the college campus at nights.

Edwin had a "Hey Ram" CD in his hand. The movie was a new release and we were crazy fans of Illayaraja. We covered the window with a bed sheet so that light doesn't go out. We played the movie and started enjoying it and just when KamalHassan was about to bite Rani Mukherjee, the power went off.

All 3 of us did not know what to do, because when power outage happened in our college in the night, it would not be restored till morning. Our CD was inside the CD player and the name "Edwin" was written on the CD. So we decided to remove the CD.

But how would it be possible when there is no power?

Edwin suddenly said : Machi, we are Engineers da. We can solve anything

Andrew: But none of us are computer engineers

Prason: So what? We can at least try

We should not have had the above conversation; because the incidents that followed are still giving us nightmares.

To be continued in part 2

- Chronicwriter

May 12, 2016

789. Captain Vijaykanth will win the elections

People make fun of Captain and create memes stating that he is a drunkard and a comedian. But I believe that he is not. Some say that his behavior resembles withdrawal symptoms. I don't believe that too. He is in a league of his own. He has joined hands with Vaiko who has finally found out that he is a farmer (Vaiko has started wearing a green turban to stamp his identity).

Captain Vijaykanth was interviewed by Prannoy Roy of NDTV. Neither Prannoy nor Captain understood each other in that interview. But that interview stands a testimony for captain's analysing skills.

Captain calls Jayalalitha as his villi. The spirit of Padayappa and Neelambari has entered Captain and Jaya according to our Captain. The following image is screen clipped from the interview.


A few observations from the interview revealed that Captain is angry that Amma is not looking at him. It seems that she does not look at him eye to eye. This reminds me of a girl in my school. I forgot her name. But she never looked at me in the eye. She is married now and has named her son as Chriz. 

One thing that stunned me was Captain's usage of the word "Humbug". This is a man who struggles to even say the words "Young" and " Heart" in english. At first I thought he did not know the meaning of the word Humbug. 


But when I saw the interview carefully, I understood that he exactly knew the right meaning for that word. It also made me think of that famous Hamburger scene from the movie Pink Panther.

With many political parties in the fray with many not even having a clear idea or a mandate, many memes creators are having a ball. Gone were the days when people used to get angry talking about politics. These days a majority of the social media driven crowd have learnt to take all these memes in a funny manner. But still there are caste, language, creed freaks who still play dirty politics.

So will Captain become the CM of Tamilnadu? You and I know that this is a page which has satire as the main building block. 

Who am I gonna vote? I definitely support a Dravidian party in this elections. I did not vote for them in the previous elections. I am voting for that party not because I want to see a change in the state through them. I would rather bring a change in my locality by planting trees around my house. If you have read till the end, I would ask you to plant a tree in your compound and outside the compound this weekend.

-Chronicwriter

May 10, 2016

788. Get a 6 pack body in 6 weeks

For those who have traveled with me in my bodybuilding journey, would know the struggles and hardships I have gone through in chiseling every single muscle in my body.

Six packs has become a must have for every man these days. Girls have added this requirement as a prerequisite when they hunt for a guy.

Guy's who have a pout and who are couch potatoes would have developed unwanted masses in unwanted places in their body. For all such souls, this post will be of great help.

I have struggled hard to get 6 packs for the last 6 years. But over the years, I have learnt one thing - the art of getting a six pack in the best possible way.

Here I present to you a simple and effective way that you can follow to get a 6 pack in 6 weeks. You don't have to lift weights or alter your diet big time. All you have to do is alter your daily routine a little bit and believe me; in just 6 weeks, you will have a great body.

Water intake: Every human being should have 8 hours sleep in a day. So a human being will be awake for 16 hours in a day. If a man drinks, one glass of water (250 ml) every one hour he is awake, then he would have consumed 250 ml X 16 = 4 liters of water in a day. This helps the body to have the right fluids in the body at regular intervals. The chances of dehydration becomes zero. Do this for 6 continuous weeks

Sleep time: Sleep for 8 hours a day. Make sure that you get enough sleep everyday

Exercise: Do abs exercises everyday (Morning - 15 minutes and evening 15 minutes). This would do.

Lead a normal life. If you follow the above three, your daily routine will change drastically. You will not spend unwanted time on many things that zap in your time and energy. In 6 weeks, you will have 6 packs.

If you do not get 6 packs in 6 weeks; try again for another 6 weeks. Even if you do not get 6 packs, you would have an amazing routine in your day to day life. If you insist on getting a 6 pack body, you can always use Photoshop. If you find it difficult, I can help you. But it does come with a price

- Chronicwriter