Jan 13, 2016

774. I love to sleep with...

This is the most difficult thing for me to do. I belong to the breed of human race that plays kabbadi with the snooze button in the alarm clock for one hour every morning. As a matter of fact nothing can wake me up once I doze off. The only way of me waking up from sleep is when my brain and my rear end agrees for a bilateral agreement. 

When I was a child I had the habit of bed wetting. I used to bed wet till I was 10. Please don't ask me if it was 10 years or class 10. I won't answer that question. When I was a bed wetter, the moment I power my bed sheets with liquid proteins, my brain would give me the  "Get up signal" to me. But after I stopped bed wetting, that only way of waking me up died. May be I should continue to wet my bed.

My daughter sleeps with me and she takes after me when it comes to bed wetting. My parents still doubt me thinking I have not yet stopped the habit of bed wetting. But, they may be true. Who knows?

When I was a little boy, my dad used different torture methods to wake me up. I am a person who never uses the ceiling fan while sleeping. Yes! I will sweat and sweat and still not use ceiling fans. I can survive in the hottest places on earth. But they say like poles repel each other. Hence I stay away from Hot places. 

My dad will switch on the fan. I will immediately cover my head with the bed sheet and sleep. Then he will increase his torture mode and will sprinkle water on my face. I will wipe that water with the same bedsheet and still carry on with my dreams. He will then resort to some cheap tactics which involves pain. They say there is no gain without pain. He will call my mom and once she comes into the picture, the pain levels will increase multi-fold. She will be accompanied by some coconut sticks. If you have got beatings by coconut sticks, you would understand my agony. As I can't bear pain, I will wake up and head straight to the loo.

Once I am inside the loo (Bathroom+ toilet), I will open the tap and allow the bucket to get filled. Then I will put another bucket upside down, sit on it and rest my head on the corner of the room and start dozing off again. My mom will wait outside the bathroom for ten minutes. She would know that I would have dozed off. Then she would bang the door and say, if you do not come out of the bathroom now, I won't allow you to see Shakthimaan. 

Keeping me away from Shakthimaan was equivalent to capital punishment according to me. The next moment I would be outside. Then I would eventually get ready and head to school. Years have rolled by. Almost the same process follows. Dad and mom are now replaced by my daughter and wife who know how to wake me up and pack me to work.

There is a tamil saying which goes on like this -" Thoonguravana ezhupidalaam; thoongura maadhiri nadikiravana ezhuppa mudiyadhu" which means you can wake a person who sleeps; but not one who acts as though he is sleeping. This quote does not apply to me. Because I sincerely love to sleep and I am proud to say this.

OK. Good night.

-Chronicwriter

2 comments:

  1. You always amaze me at the way you bring smiles to readers faces with the simplest of words narrating them in a witty manner.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You make even the most normal thing so funny

    ReplyDelete

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