Tuesday, August 04, 2015

743. How I became a CBCID officer

I always wanted to become a super cop. When I was a kid I used to watch detective serials, cop movies and thrillers and I would associate myself with the lead characters in those movies I watched. I had all that it takes to become a cop. I was ( and is) a big fan of Captain Vijaykanth.

I would think like a cop even when I was 3 years old. My parents would hide chocolates from me in the unthinkable places in my house and they always failed miserably. I would plan and execute the chocolate detection with so much ease that would leave them shocked.

My parents thought that I had thief brains. Little did they know that only I developed that art in order to catch thieves in future. When I was in class 1, my friend Minu's pencil was stolen by someone in our class. Minu was my girlfriend Renu's BFF. In order to win Renu's heart, I decided to find the culprit who stole Minu's pencil.

As a first step process, I decided to check all the pencil boxes of all my friends in the class, All of them opened their pencil boxes and I could not find the pencil in any of the boxes. I so badly wanted to frame Shabir in this because he was my villain in Renu's case. He also loved her. But Shabir also did not have it. 

After I could not find the pencil in any of the boxes, I came to my chair in dejection and opened my box and to my horror, found the pencil in my box. I knew it was Shabir who had framed me in this. I closed the box in a jiffy and was glad that no one noticed that the pencil was in my box.

The next day, I came to the class and told everyone in class that I have learnt the art of magic and I would find the culprit with my magical ability. All my friends were watching me in awe and anticipation. Little did they know that I had already placed the pencil inside Shabir's bag.

I changed my voice modulation and spoke in Big B's voice and said " Jumakoo Kalama Bhooo" and pointed the ruler at Shabir's bag. All of them turned and looked at Shabir. Renu and Minu looked at Shabir in shock and confusion. I knew that they were starting to hate me.

Shabir frowned at me and slowly started to give a sly smile. I walked up to him, pulled out his bag and opened it and checked for the pencil inside the bag. It was not there. He, then snatched the ruler from my hand and said " Bahubaali Bajrang Disco" and pointed the ruler at my bag. Immediately Renu opened my bag and pulled the pencil from my bag. 

Minu took the pencil, scornfully looked at me and said "Thoooo". I was almost in tears. I never knew how Shabir did it. He beat me every single time. That day I decided that I would some how become a super cop, arrest Shabir and hang him when I become big.

During school days, I used to sit under a tree and eat lunch along with my friends. Renu and Minu stopped eating with me after that fateful incident. Every time we ate under the tree, at least one of our lunch boxes will be blessed by a crow. I started admiring and analyzing the preciseness with which the crows dropped their shit inside our lunch boxes.

This analysis soon revolutionized my thought process and I became the CBCID  [ Crow Bum Crap Injecting Director] of our class. I soon sharpened my aim and I started to pee inside the pot with complete precision. I decided to become a CBCID in future.

But things turned out different for me. After completion of bachelors in engineering and doing my masters in business administration, I have finally become a full time writer. Yes I know I could not become a CBCID officer; but that does not stop me from becoming a full fledged crime writer because I believe that I can write crime novels like no other.

To start writing on crime, I decided to join Alqaeda or ISIS and learn the nuances of being a criminal. But as I did not have enough money, I could not travel all the way to Pakistan and Iraq and learn from them. I finally resorted to learning how to solve crime by following the Indian Policemen who are experts in catching criminals.

I took my mobile phone and started to follow a cop. My friend had told me that the cop was an encounter specialist and he was the top encounter specialist in the country. After a few hours of following him without his knowledge, I soon found him chasing a car on his bike. I immediately knew that I had a beautiful story for my next book. So I followed the cop. 

After driving for ten kilometers, the cop suddenly turned into a street and stopped following the car. I knew that there should be something behind every single move of the encounter specialist. So I parked my bike at a distance and watched him from a distance. 

He parked the bike in the street too; put his hand inside his pant pocket and took something out. As I was standing at a distance, I could not see that object; but I very well understood that it was a bomb. He then looked at both sides and peeped into the house in front of him. This was a perfect thriller movie script. Are there any terrorists inside the house? I took my mobile phone and started clicking pictures. Finally I captured his picture perfect shot. Click this [link] to see the cop's brilliant job. My salute to him. He is also a CBCID officer.

Jai Ho

- Chronicwriter


  1. publish ur book soon. it will be a hit

    1. I am also waiting for it. May be a first ball duck or a Shahid Afridi 100. Fingers crossed

  2. I didn't need to see the picture to know what you were implying but because I needed evidence I clicked on the link

    1. haha. Good that you clicked the evidence. Hope you did not zoom into the picture for more evidence

  3. You better join isis they may learn few things from you...

    1. paaratureengala, adikureengalaaanu theriyalai. edhuvaa irundhaalum nandri. ISIS full form kooda enakku olunga theriyadhu. Naan adhukku sari pattu vara maatein. Namakku CBCIDdhaan


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