Thursday, May 29, 2014

648. Cheenu Maamaa Method

Many cricket fans have complained that IPL7 is scripted by Hollywood directors where the actors sometimes end up doing retakes which result in the director intervening and rewriting the script in the last minute.

For instance, in a do or die match for Mumbai Indians, the original script meant that MI had to chase  down RR's score of 189 in 14.3 overs. But Mumbai Indians failed to achieve the target in 14.3 overs. So the script was rewritten in the last second and eventually they achieved the target in 14.4 overs to reach the play offs.

This method is called as Cheenu Maamaa method. This is an even more confusing method compared to Duckworth and Lewis's method. In Tamil there is a term called as "vaathu madayan" (Duck Idiot). This term is used on people who have poor mathematical skills. 

Duckworth - Lewis were such people who were really bad with their arithmetic skills. Eventually their "thappu kanakku" (wrong calculations) were adopted in Cricket. In the 1992 world cup semi finals between England and Saouth Africa, SA required 23 runs to win from 13 balls and they were cruising to victory, when rain intervened play and the father of Duckworth Lewis method came to the rescue for England when the target was revised to 22 runs from 1 ball for SA.

The Duckworth - Lewis method has shocked many teams in the past and no one has solved it. But in IPL7, a new method has emerged that has completely shocked the Duckworth-Lewis method. This new method is called as Cheenu maamaa method. This method gave a short-term happiness to MI players.

The reaction of MI players and Fans when they lost the eliminator match against CSK ON 28 May 2014

MI fans were crying foul play when CSK opener was not given out to a plumb LBW by Praveen Kumar. But little did they know that Praveen Kumar over stepped and that ball was actually a No Ball. Smith deserved a free hit. 

The highlights of the match between MI and CSK is shown in this 30 second video.

Unidentified Sources also reveal that Ambani was actually happy at the end of the match that MI lost to CSK. Harbhajjan was becoming a great catcher of Nita in every IPL and his catching skills reached new heights in this IPL.

My friend asked me whether IPL is scripted like WWE. My answer was "I don't know". Yes I really do not know. If it is scripted, then in future we might even have special appearances. In WWE Mike Tyson, Hugh Jackman have made special appearances. Similarly ShahRukh Khan might come in as an opening batsman with Gautam Gambhir, or we might even have Sunny Leone lying down between the wicket keeper and the first slip for the glamour effect. Cricket is an unpredictable game and we never know what will happen in the future.


Monday, May 26, 2014

647. Dhoni copies Miley Cyrus

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is known for his different hairstyles. When he entered the cricketing scene, he sported a Andre Agassi hairstyle. Later when he found that his hair was blocking his view, he cut his hair short and even sported an Andre Agassi bald look for some time. But then when it was time for his marriage he had a normal hair cut. Today he was invited by our respected Prime Minister Narendra Modi for his swearing in ceremony. Dhoni wore a beautiful suit for the occasion. But he chose a hair style which was introduced by Miley Cyrus. Apparently Miley Cyrus is the Guinness world record holder for the person with the longest tongue. Scientists have found out that he tongue is even longer than the tongue of a T-Rex dinosaur. When I was first introduced to Gatsby hair gel, this is how I used to style my hair. After applying too much of gel, my head would start aching so much, that I would eventually take a shower and rinse off all the gel in my hair. Dhoni might do the same thing tonight.

It was a great sight to see all the religious leaders in saffron robes sitting in the front row during Narendra Modi's swearing in ceremony. But my heart started to ache when I could not see Angel TV Sadhu in that row. May be he was not invited. On second thoughts, I realized that he would have been invited; but our Sadhu would have been busy discussing about end time matters with his angel friend.

When Smriti Irani, took the oath, my eyes welled up. She was defeated by Rahul Gandhi in the elections. But Rahul Gandhi proved yet again that he can empower women even when he defeats them. 

Finally, Dr Subramaniya Swamy did not get a cabinet seat too. He might have lost a cabinet seat; but he always gets a seat in Arnab Gowsami's cabinet. Newshour debates are gonna be more informative than ever.

Jai Ho


Friday, May 16, 2014

646. Will Rahul Gandhi be ragged in Lok Sabha?

When I joined college, I went through ragging sessions in which I was made to do unthinkable acts by my seniors. Being a shy, innocent and homely guy, I dreaded to go to college during that phase. Every night my seniors will come in my dreams and haunt me. In the year 1999 , I had many such dreams and most of my dreams became reality. The seniors were really creative in their ragging sessions. If only they had utilised those creative skills in their Career, they would have even sent Rockets to Sun by this time. 

When I think of Rahul Gandhi in the Lok Sabha, I see him in the same position that I was in the year 1999. Just imagine being a small goat surrounded by 334 lions. That is a dreadful sight indeed. This is an imaginary post from Chronicwriter media. This might become a reality too

- Chronicwriter

645. Congress wins Elections by Duckworth Lewis method.

  • Finally the Rs 10000 crores spent by BJP has paid good results.
  • The Sensex really looks sensual now. India shining indeed.
  • One of the most calm Prime Ministers India has ever had has made a silent exit

  • Captain Vijayganth can now go back and continue drinking. He can also act in Ramana 2. His dreams of becoming the deputy Prime Minister is whacked big time.

  • Sister Nagma who is also a Prophetess has won for Congress in Meerut. Two people will be really happy for this result. One is Ganguly and the other is Mohan C Lazaras. Mohan C Lazaras can now form a prayer team in Political fraternity. Did you guys believe that? She ain't gonna win. Facepalm for you all.

  • There is no use for TamilNadu in this election.
  • Sources are telling that Rahul Gandhi is praying for rains so that Congress can win by Duckworth and Lewis method.
  • 132 people voted for Rakhi Sawant in this election. 
  • It is a clean win for Arnab Gowsami in this election. He should be made as the deputy Prime minister of the country or atleast as the speaker of the Lok Sabha
  • If Sonia and Rahul Gandhi wins, they will be ragged big time in the Lok Sabha. It will be a sorry state of affair to see a mother and son being ragged together in the same house by more than 300 people. 
- Chronicwriter
(More points will be added)

Thursday, May 15, 2014

644. Standing and Travelling

A few days ago, this picture was shared on social media sites with the caption "A humble Prime Minister". The photo was shared left , right and centre by thousands of people. Many went gaga over how humble their prime minister was. One of the comment was  "He is the most humble human being I have seen on earth". When I read that statement, I could only laugh. It even made me to think whether it was a public stunt by the British media to project Cameron as a humble man? I don't know personally about Cameron and I don't have any right to comment whether he is humble or not. But I do have my doubts about the media creating a hype around the issue. If you are a follower of the UK political scene you would know that David Cameron usually goes around in a chauffeur driven Bullet proof Jaguar with a battalion of body guards and Police escorting him. When he goes out in the streets, the service to the entire street is closed and it causes pain and panic to all the travellers. It is the same scenario in our country too where the entire roads get blocked when a VIP decides to travel on the road. Watch this video in which an entire street is blocked because David Cameron decided to walk into that street. His Jaguar is also seen here. If you closely watch the video, David Cameron will be making his entrance at 4:03 minutes. 

This is the main reason why the British media came out with a publicity stunt to make people believe that he was a humble man who stands and travels in a train. If standing and travelling in a train is a mark of humility, then 95 % of Indians who take the public transport are humble. Our very own Vadivelu has already performed this stunt long back in a movie. "Mutti sethavandhaan ukkandhutuu povaan"( Only a person with a dead knee, will sit and travel) is a philosophical quote of Vadivelu in that movie. We have already seen this scene in movies. So please come up with new creative stunts.

- Chronicwriter

Thursday, May 08, 2014

643. The different types of girls you can find in a college

Every Co Ed college will have these girls. I have not added all the types of girls in this post. There are many types of girls I have not written here. When you read this post, you will be taken back to your college days and you will say "Yes! I know one such girl". So sit back and read this. 

The babe every guy is crazy about; but no one dares to get near. 

She is very beautiful. She is every guy's dream girl in college. But guys are scared of her for reasons best known to them (Adi vaangunadhe opena solla maattanga)

The attitude girl.

She has an attitude written all over her face. She is in a world where she assumes that all guys are after her. So she invariably throws attitude all the time. Many guys hate her for this. But she craves for attention

The homely figure

This girl usually sits in the front bench in one of the side rows in the class room. She is very calm; not that extra brilliant and she has only two or three friends. Boys would not like to take them out on a date. But the boys will have them in their mind for future commitment. But these girls usually get married off soon after the college days are over

The studious girl

She is the first bencher. She will always be studying something or the other. She is the first one to raise her hands and answer questions when the lecturers poses any questions. She finishes her record work ten days before the submission date. She never shows her answers to others while writing exams.

The Master of Ceremonies

She is the William Shakespeare of the college. She is the English HOD's pet. She is automatically chosen to host the college day events.

The Biker girl

She rides heavy bikes. She is a terror on the road. She does all the stunts that many guys are scared to do. One punch from her and you have to re-align your jaw bones. She is the biker girl.

The wall flower

She is always alone in college. She does not initiate a conversation with anyone.She always gives the Autograph Cheran emotion in college. When some one approaches her and asks her a question, she gives one word answers. But once she is done with college life, she blooms into a chatterbox.

The always-on-the-Phone girl

Inside the class, she will always be on the phone messaging someone. When she goes out shopping, she will be on the phone. When she goes out with her friends, she will be on the phone again. She lives in her own world.

Over night beauty

She is the mokkai girl who always walks around the college campus with messy hair. No guy would look at her. But suddenly she will spend Rs 10,000 at some salon and will turn into an overnight beauty. She will then suddenly have many jollu parties following her. She even gets a chance to walk the ramp in college fashion show.

The Tom Boy

She climbs trees, walls and plays football with guys. She rags junior boys and she is so comfortable with guys. Guys call her machaan and accept her in their race. The girls don't like her much because the over-sentimental girls doubt that she might steal their guy. But our Tom Boy can be trusted.

The Tall girl.

She sits in the back bench because of her height. She will be taller than most of the boys in the classes. Guys respect them a lot because of fear. (Ovvaru adiyum idi pola irukkum) Even when she sits in a chair, she will be taller than people like me.

The two timer

She is a very sly human being. She knows how to use people. Those who are in love with her will not know about her true colours. Everybody else will know.

The Hogger

She eats food inside the class. During the break, she will be seen in the canteen eating something. During lunch time, she eats her lunch and also someone else's lunch. She buys lot of junk food from the shop near college. The shop wala guy know her very well. During treats given by her friends, she will surely tonsure the person who gives her a treat.

The stage girl

You can never see her in college classrooms. But when there is a college day function where they honour the chief guests, she will be there on stage wearing a saree.

The match maker

These kind of girls are the reason why many people are in love. They lend their ears to people who have starting problem in proposing. Then they give solutions. They are the cupids in human form. They also do counselling for the people involved in love. When they find out that one of the parties involved in a relationship is not being true, they will become furious and they will become match breakers.

The sappa figure who advices girls not to fall in love

When I say "Sappa Figure", I am not talking about her looks. I am referring to her character. She does not like anyone in loe. She spoils all the love affairs in college. She plants doubts in the minds of all her girl friends. According to her all the boys are bad  (She is true in one way). She is the exact dog in a manger character. She would not fall in love and she will not let anyone fall in love too. I am not adding any picture for her because she is not worth to be added in this post.


Warning: Except for three pictures, all the pictures used in this post are good friends of Chronicwriter. So think twice before sending fraansheep requests to them. 

Next Post : Different types of Boys you can find in a college.