Feb 13, 2014

617. I don't have a valentine


This post is dedicated to all those who are single this valentines day. Being single is not your fault. You might hate those who have a someone special in their life. The ones who have a special person in their life will also act weird on valentines day and they give a huge complex to all those single human beings. 

I have been single for 29 long years in my life and I know how it feels to be on the other side of the river. The grass is always green on the other side buddies. So take a chill pill and stay cool. When you are no more single, you will realise that the grass is greener on the other side, because the other side is full of bull shit.

The worst thing a single person can do is to go to a club on valentines day. I did that grave mistake in the year 2004. I went for a party in EC41 in Chennai on 14th February 2004. The next day I wrote my CAT exam ( The only year there was a re-CAT exam because of paper leak). 

I don't wanna reveal my CAT scores. If I reveal the score, I would give a complex to Murali Vijay's average while playing in overseas conditions. But I would proudly flaunt my MAT score which was exactly Don Bradman's average in test cricket.

If you are single, the only valentine you will have this year might be the bottle of beers you are gonna gulp down your throat on Friday night. You will have a bad hang over on Saturday and if you wanna spoil your weekend; go ahead and have fun with alcohol.

If you had watched the opening ceremony of the Sochi winter Olympics this year, you would have realised that there was a blunder when one of the rings in the olympic logo failed to open. Just remember that you ain't the one who does not have a ring this year. That is Sochi's way of telling you that being single is cool.

Now you would have realised that I am writing this article to pep up  the single ones who crib that they don't have a valentine this valentines day. How ever some might even think that I am writing this article to add salt to the injury. For such people, the following conversation will inspire you.

Me: If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine‘s day, just remember that        nobody loves you on any of those other 354 days of the year.
You: It is not 354. It should be 364.
Me: Kanakku theriyudhu. Kanakku panna theriyalaiyae pa unakku.
Now you might think that it was rude of me to say that.Yes it is indeed rude when you doubt my intentions. When I actually wanted to be there for you and lend my small shoulder for you, you doubted me and hence I I snubbed you with that joke. If you are really mad at me now, you need to cool down or else I would shove another one liner down that doubting brain of yours.

Even calender has date on valentines day. 

As I type this article,I suddenly feel like scratching my legs. Is it because I did not take a bath today? or Is it because of my dirty socks? Talking about socks, most of my socks are single too. They never crib that the don't have partners. Now don't you dare crib about being single or don't you dare attacking all those who ain't single any more. You will be there too buddy.




If you are still think that being single is a curse, let me give you an idea to make people think that you have a valentine. Dress well and go to work with a bouquet of roses to work and tell your colleagues that your valentine gave that to you. Keep telling them that you have a hot date planned for the evening. Make sure to leave work early so that others will think that you have a valentine.

-Chronicwriter

2 comments:

  1. I not just smiled, I laughed out loud and when my colleague asked why I followed the method you said. I told my crush just asked me out in an epic way!!! I can see her fuming with jealousy but she deserves it since from morning she was irritating me with her romantic plan with her hubby this V-Day

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