Jul 16, 2013

584. Indian traffic rules

When we are on the road, we will have a feeling as if we own the roads. The public roads automatically becomes our family property. Many of the points mentioned in this post came as a Tamil post. I have added my points to the post and have tweaked it to my style. These are some of the beliefs of drivers and riders on the Indian roads.



1) Always have an angry face while driving on the roads. By keeping an angry face, you will scare everyone on the road.

2) The white stop line in the traffic signals are just some design on the road. The vehicle should be parked after the line and not before the line. Anyone who stops the vehicle before that line is a fool.

3) When the traffic light turns from yellow to red, it is an indication for you to drive faster so that you cross the white line.

4) Honking the horn is our birthright. The thumb should always be on the horn. If we do not press the horn, then there is something wrong with our vehicle.

5) The light indicators are just for decoration purposes. We can switch them on and off when ever we want to.

6) A person who parks his vehicle before the white line does not deserve to live because he is a fool.

7) Helmets should not be worn on the head. They should be placed above the petrol tank. This is done for the safety and protection of the petrol tank.

8) Wearing a helmet is not safe for the hair. People who wear helmets lose their hair fast. So never ever wear an helmet.

9) If you do not have an hands free, then wear an helmet and squeeze your mobile phone between your ear and the helmet. The helmet should be used only for this purpose.

10) Wearing the seat belt in the car is harmful for your tummy; especially when you have a big tummy. It will leave a seat belt mark on your body. This will reduce the glamour quotient. So never ever wear a seat belt.


11) The traffic police is a man who allows you to pass by if you pay him tips. Never argue with him. Just pay him tips and continue on your journey. If you have good bargaining skills, you can handle this man very well. He does not have to follow any traffic rules. Rules are for others. He is exempted from following any rules.

12) The indicator on the bike or car should not be used when we take a turn. We conserve power by not switching the indicator ON. The people who come behind us should have the brains to understand where we turn and they should act accordingly.

13) The rear view mirror or the box in the bike will spoil the beauty of the bike. Even if you have a rear view mirror, it should be used only for combing your hair.

14) You can use any fonts for the number plate. It is your vehicle and you have every right to use any designer font of your choice. Never ever use the prescribed standard fonts.

15) U turns should be taken where ever there is a board that says that you should not take a U turn. Remember! It is your father's road and you have every right to take that U turn.

16) Traffic rules should be followed only from 8 am to 10 pm. After that you can go in the opposite direction in one ways and you can use all sorts of creativity while riding the bike.

17) Even when there is a traffic jam and the vehicles are waiting one behind the other, you should always see to that you overtake all of them so that you can beat them all. Yes, you are participating in a race and you have to beat them all.

18) You should not reduce your speed while crossing a speed breaker. If you slow down, it will bring dishonor to your family. Keep the same speed and slowly lift your butt a little bit and your bike will cross the speed breaker in a jiffy.

19)  You can park your vehicle in any direction in the parking lot even if it blocks the other vehicles. Taking care of their vehicle is their own headache.

20) There is no dim light facility in your car. Always use high beam so that you have better visibility. Even if it makes the oncoming rider uncomfortable, never ever lower the beam. He should close his eyes and ride. He should take care of his safety.

21) The public buses are designed and manufactured in such a way that they stop only in the middle of the road. They never go and stop on the corner of the road. Poor drivers! What can they do? Don't blame them.

22) Getting a drivers license is very easy. You need not know driving too. All you need to do is spend some money. The license is yours. The road is yours. It is your life. Enjoy.

23) Begging in traffic signals is an occupation. It is also a place for people selling stuff to others. It is a transit market.

24) You can use mobile phones while driving because you are an expert in it. Others should not use it as they are not as good as you in using mobile phones while driving.

25) If you are a guy, you should never ever allow a girl to overtake you. It is almost like getting a kick between your legs. So make sure that you overtake them and give them that dirty stare.


-Chronicwriter

5 comments:

  1. No 13 : Combing Hair ? Really ? I use it to look some girls who is driving behind. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Im always ragged and jeered upon with blaring horns for stopping my bike before the white line.... and the "girl should not overtake a boy" crap too...

    ReplyDelete

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