Feb 24, 2012

503. As per Vaastu


The above picture is a clear indication on what will happen in future because of superstitions. I am not against religion. In fact I am a Christian who believes that Jesus died for my sins and I am saved because of him. But what do I call as superstition? Anything that binds people in the name of Religion, Sun sign and Cosmo power is what I term as superstition. I am just imagining how people would use a toilet, if it is constructed on the walls. If such a thing happens, only Sreesanth can save the world. Only he has the capacity to use such a toilet.


 My friend was not doing well in his college exams and he tried many methods to score good marks. All his methods yielded him negative results. So he finally decided to approach this Chinese Vaastu expert. The expert listened to my friend's story patiently. After listening to his story she did some mathematical calculations in a scientific calculator and told him that the Violet Lion fish will solve his problem. She sold the fish along with the bowl for Rs 13,500/- only. After one week, the fish died. He is now scared to go back to the lady fearing that she might sell him another fish. He is now planning to go to a Nameologist.

Who is a nameologist? A Nameologist is a person who re-Engineers your name with spelling mistakes and by doing so charges you a fee that is more than your monthly salary. I consulted a nameologist for improving the performance of my blog. He carefully analysed my blog name and asked me to changed my blog name to "CROWnicRIGHTER". He had the following explanation for the same

CROW is the unofficial national bird of India. 

I asked him why he changed WRITER to RIGHTER

He said " A WRITER need not be right always; but a RIGHTER is"

I did not heed to his advice and that was the day when many loyal blog readers of this page stopped coming. I am still thinking whether I should rename the blog or not. 

Many cricketers, film personalities and even politicians have become victims to Nameologist. A world renowned nameologist advised Osama to change his name to Obama. He did not listen to the Nameologist and three days later he was killed.


Moving to a related topic, I feel like talking about Vastu- color houses. Back in the nineties they called it as modern art. The older generation would call it as dirty art. 

It is like giving a little child a paint box and a white wall and after sometime the result would be something that would even make you pet dog to control his bladder when he sees that wall.

Similarly these days, many vastu experts advice people to paint houses in different colors and such colorful houses have been responsible for many road accidents in India. 



Some so called Christian preachers have also jumped into this Superstition industry. One preacher is even selling gold plated Keys. These keys cannot open any bank locker. Who would want to open a bank locker these days. Even bank officials are scared to open bank lockers fearing an encounter death.

The so called Christian preacher promises great ROI in businesses if we buy the gold plated key. The cost of the key is in Lakhs. If only a person has that much money, why would he run into losses?

Then we have the colorful pearls and precious stone business which again targets some innocent victim who will fall prey to the whole deal.

Chronicwriter had earlier written a detailed article on Vastu sastra and how to implement it for the betterment of blogs. Many have used this technique and have tasted the benefits. Facebook is one such beneficiary. Click this [ link ] and receive the benefits free of cost

Finally, I would end this post with a message that would bring happiness to every Indian. Pakistan launched a satellite to the moon after consulting me. They have hit the jackpot. Read this to know more.


-Chronicwriter

Note : As per Vaastu, I have changed the name of Vaastu to Vastu. Yes I removed one A

14 comments:

  1. Looks like you're on a blogging spree after an extended absence!? Excellent :) I am having fun reading these posts. As always they are beyond belief :D

    "A Nameologist is a person who re-Engineers your name with spelling mistakes and by doing so charges you a fee that is more than your monthly salary." - ultimate (not Ajit, of course! ;))

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  2. you slowed down for sometime and now suddenly the old chronicwriter is back love you ♥

    find me love

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  3. i liked the way you pulled that christian preacher even though you are a christian

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  4. Vaastu is a belief. When one becomes blind about it, it turns into superstition. Vaastu has scientific reasons behind it. Like pooja room in east to get exposed to sunlight (vit D) every morning. Sleeping directions as per earth gravity and rotation. toilets as per the drain flow, yes vaastu is based on longitudes and latitudes of geographical location. it explains the flow of water and construction according to it. I can not say i will have a toilet in certain place in USA. that will be superstition. But totally denying vaastu is foolishness according to me. we can not laugh at ones belief. That explains our education!

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  5. Hilarious post Chriz... had a great laugh especially the Satellite launch

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  6. swats : i am not denying vaastu.. infact i have altered the name of vaastu to vastu because of some bad elements that might hurt the name because of continuous vowels

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  7. haha. this was one fun read. i can understand and agree with vastu (removed extra A as per your instructions) until it makes sense. constructing a house acc to vastu so it gets the most of sunlight in the right areas etc is logical enough.

    but recently my very accomplished uncle was advised by his well-wisher that if he changed the door from this side to that and dug up a well in his courtyard, it would bring happiness in his life? i was like, what? thankfully, he didnt do anything as crazy!

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  8. and the first picture made me laugh like crazy!!

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  9. "In fact i have altered the name of vaastu to vastu because of some bad elements that might hurt the name because of continuous vowels" - LOL!

    In fact, Chriz, there is a phonological non-preference for adjacent vowels in languages (abstracting from certain complications ;))

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  10. new template...neat look, great post as usual!
    Sahi hain christopher bhaiyya...u made me chuckle even now!

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  11. super super super.........muahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh chrizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz .Hugs too.Amazing!! You rock rock babe....cheers!!!!!!!!!! enjoyed it so much awaiting a post on astrology kindly analyse about the subject and enlighten us please :)

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  12. hahahaha, love the last one on pakistan

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  13. Well, some loyal readers kept comin back in the hope of finding their good ole chronicwriter, or should I say Crownicrighther??? *shoots a confused look*

    Reading this blog post was an absolute joy... :) Mwahs...

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