Oct 19, 2011

489. Curiosity Kills


When I was a little boy, I was a big time fan of the classic cartoon series "Tom and Jerry". Even now it never fails to make me smile. In the late 80s and the early 90s Tom and Jerry was screened in Doordarshan between 4pm to 4.30 pm. I and my sister would sit in front of the TV sets and we would cheer Jerry for his pranks against Tom. In fact no one liked Tom except my sister.

My sister and I fought like cats and dogs when we were kids.

When it comes to sports I was a fan of Martina Navratilova, Gabriella Sabatini, Monica Seles, Sanchez Vicario. She was a fan of Steffi Graf.On the Men's draw I was a fan of Stefan Edberg, Agassi and Becker and she was a fan of pistol pete.

So Invariably if I like A, she would like B. That would make me to hate B and our egos were very strong on not liking the same thing.

I liked the Brazilian football team. Romario and Ronaldo were my favorite footballers. She liked the Argentinian football team even though she did not know anyone in the team.

I liked Sachin Tendulkar and she liked Vinod Kambli and she cried along with Kambli when India lost to Srilanka in the semifinals of the 1996 cricket world cup at Eden Gardens.

This must have been the case with those who have siblings. Many among you can relate to this. Now why did I name the post as "Curiosity kills" ? Yeah! I remember it now. In Tom and Jerry cartoon, there was this lady of the house who used to spank Tom every now and then. Only her legs would be seen on TV.

Both my sister and I had one common desire ~ To see the face of the lady. Many a times, we have gone closer to the TV and have tried to peek into the top corner of the TV to find how her face would look like. Have you done that too?

-Chronicwriter

Oct 14, 2011

488. Acquired Breaking News Virus.

NDTV and TimesNow are the two leading OPINION makers in India. They telecast their own opinions which contradict each other. These two channels suffer from a dangerous disease called as Acquired Breaking News Virus.

Little kids usually fight with each other for numero-uno position. I finished eating first. I finished doing the homework first. I finished coloring the book first. I finished my potty time first. The kids fight for everything. Competition is in the blood of every human being. This competitive spirit when it crosses the limit transforms into a disease called ABNV. This disease has hit both these channels. This whole disease was discovered a couple of years ago when Ajmal Kasab and co stormed into Mumbai and warred with India. Both these News Channels were fighting with each other trying to claim that they were the first channel to break the News. After that incident, they are Breaking every day. CNN-IBN and Aaj Tak are also transmitters of the ABNV.

Viewers suffer from Breaking News Syndrome when they watch these channels. Children complain that they are seeing the word BREAKING NEWS on their text books. Corporate employees are also complaining that they are seeing the word BREAKING NEWS on their computer screens.

Viewers also suffer from uneasy sleep and nausea. They get bad dreams of Barkha Dutt, Arnab Gowsami and Karan Thappar Breaking their Sleep with Breaking Dreams. My wife Joan got scared when I woke up in the middle of the night shouting "Breaking News Breaking News".

Some of the Breaking News Caption that comes on TV these days

  • Police arrest everyone on February 22
  • Man executed after long speech.
  • Man accused of killing attorney receives a new attorney.
  • Bihaar's literacy program shows improvement. ( See how Bihar is spelt)
  • Commissioner of Delhi Police Has Lost His Dog
  • Finally Commissioner Dog Came to House
  • Ruling Congress Top Leader Rahul Gandhi Lunch Menu was also a breaking news.
  • Big B catches a cold.
If you have come across any funny BREAKING NEWS , please post it in the comments section.

-Chronicwriter

Oct 12, 2011

487. Before and After Marriage

Driving the car

Before Marriage (BM) : 140 kmph on the EC road in Chennai in my Alto car

After Marriage (AM) : Not allowed to cross 50 kmph on the same EC road in Chennai. Wife's eyes are always on the speedo-meter. Once the 50kmph mark is crossed, I get pinched.

Spending Time at Home

BM : Bachelor-hood is indeed Heaven on earth experience for a man. One can spend the night anywhere. I had slept on my car, I had slept at my friends places. I have remained awake some nights too chatting with friends.

AM : Gotta be at home before 8 pm.

Diet

BM : Breakfast - Usually empty stomach; Lunch - Meals in a hotel near office; Dinner - cooking at home or eating out with friends

AM : Breakfast - Yummy food cooked by wife; Lunch - Yummy food cooked by wife; Dinner - Yummy food cooked by wife

Resting

BM: I can sleep anywhere. On the couch on the balcony and even on the chair. The Pillows did not have a pillow cover.

AM: Live life king size in a King size bed, with super good pillows with beautiful pillow covers.


Friends

BM: Friends walk into the house at any time of the day and night.

AM : Friends are allowed to enter the house only after they fix appointments with me. They are also allowed to sit only in the drawing room.

Washing Clothes

BM : Once a month. The blue jean trouser enters the washing machine only once a year

AM : Clothes are washed everyday. The Blue jean trousers are washed often.

Morning Coffee

BM : Ten minute walk to the Nayar coffee shop where all the bachelors would be drinking their bed coffees sitting in a wooden bench

AM : Bed coffee is served in bed.

House

BM: The house looks like Malinga's hair style

AM : The house is organised and it looks like a home.

TV

BM : No fights for the remote control I could watch the sports channels and the News channels in peace

AM : Couch-war for the remote control. Channels are changed every five minutes. No one watches any programme fully.

Humor

BM: Playing pranks on everyone and having a good time

AM: Playing a prank will be dangerous if the wife has a frying pan in her hand.


Moral of the Post : You don't become a super Hero , once you get married. It's gonna be the same life, but with a lot of responsibilities and commitments. Take the plunge and live life KING SIZE.

-Chronicwriter.