Saturday, December 24, 2011

496. Your Typing style reveals your mood.

When I was three years old, I wrote my first love letter to my kindergarten girlfriend Renu. The letter was confiscated by my teacher and she told that I would become a writer in future. Her prediction has come true. To read my first love letter click here [link]

Over the years , I have come across people speaking in different styles of English. Some speak in a way that people like me can understand. Some use complicated sentences and sophisticated language and make it hard for people like me to understand. Some have pathetic English and some kill the language by speaking in a manner thinking that they sound cool. I have admired some of them for their skills and some of them make me laugh.

When Mobile phones came into the market, the art of texting came into existence. English was redefined. People tried their level best to communicate in fewer letters and thus gave birth to the new word Text-Language. With the advent of Social Networking sites, everyone have started to communicate with everyone through these networks. In those days, everyone communicated face-to-face and through voice; but these days ~ majority of communication happens via FB comments.

When people used to talk face to face, we could understand their emotions from the words they use and from their facial reactions and from their non verbal signals and also from their past record. But when a person converses with us via social media; especially through typing, it becomes very difficult to understand what mood they are in. But after spending 12 years in social media starting from yahoo messenger's ASL, I have found a way to find the mood of the person based on his/her typing style. My findings are given below.

Consider this sentence :-

"I would like to say that I had a wonderful birthday "

Now let us identify the mood of those who use the above sentence based on how they type the sentence. Some of the sentences will even reveal the gender of the person.

I would like to say that I had a wonderful birthday - Normal Mood

I wud lyk 2 sae dat I hd a wndrfl burthdayyy - Definitely a girl ( Teen Mood)

I WoUlD LiKe tO SaY ThAt I HaD A WoNdErFuL bIrThDaY - a Girl who had a paralytic attack while typing the line

I would like to sayki thatki I had a bahuth wonderful birthday - if this person is a girl, her character is very similar to Rakhi Sawant's. If this person is a boy, he is just another north Indian boy

I'd like - This person is suffering from dysentery.

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT I HAD A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY - This one is very angry. No body gave any gift

I wud like to say that I hada super duper fantabulous yummy cake and love you all those who made my day special with those gifts and hugs to all - This is a girl. The reveals the gender of the person. Now many boys have started using the heart symbol too.

My Happy birth day was fine - Simple men and Old aunties
Machi open the bottle - Our Tamil Kudimagans.
 - Chronicwriter

Thursday, December 08, 2011

495. Kapil Sibal and the Screen.

There were days when Justin Bieber used to Trend for eternity on Twitter. Then the change came. Recently Ravindra Ashwin trended when he scored a century. Sunny Leone also trended when she appeared on Big Boss. Please don't google to find who this Sunny Leone is. You might invite trouble free of cost.

This week, When I logged into my twitter account, I found Kapil Sibal trending on twitter. Why would a politician trend on twitter was the first question that came to my mind. Then I found that Kapil had actually tried to build a Berlin wall for Facebook users. Whether Kapil Sibal has any idea about Facebook or not, is a totally different question that has to be answered by a team of experts headed by Rakhi Sawant.

Kapil Sibal used the word SCREEN more than once. He wanted Facebook to screen the contents of anything that is posted on Facebook. Here I present some tips for Kapil to effectively use the SCREEN.

This is THE Kapil Sibal with his trademark hand gesture.

Now we will see how we can use the SCREEN. We can use the Screen to cover the face. It will protect mosquitoes from biting the face. It will also not allow him to see his own face in the mirror.

He can use the Screen to cover the mole on his cheek. This will improve his glamour and thus will give him an opportunity to be rated as one of the handsome men in the world.

By placing the screen on one of his eyes, he can give a serious competition to the Somalian Pirattes.

But, the best place for the Screen is His mouth

UnIdentified sources say that the word Kapil Sibal is now a synonym for the words BEEP, CENSOR and #$%@