May 16, 2011

465. The Mummy Returns (Happy Mummy day for TN makkals)

The Mummy finally returns to power. Chennai super kings will have a jersey color change from yellow to green.No more manjal will be used in marriages and in samayal. It will be replaced by a green color powder that is made from arali vidhai.. In Tamilnadu, the yellow powders wont be used for the next five years in rangoli, kolam and even while celebrating holi. They will be replaced by additional quantity of green powder.The tamil song "Manja kaatu mainaa" will be reworded into "pacha kaattu mainaa". Mangos, guavas and papayas will not be allowed to ripe.

Now it is time for the people in Tamilnadu to enjoy the following benefits from Mummy.



Free Mixie, Fan & Grinder to women

Even if these three are given freely to women, in many households, the husbands are the ones who are gonna use it. Poor men . They will have to be in the kitchen for the next five years.


  • Free Laptop for +1 (plus one) & +2 (plus two) students

Now this is a super offer. Which OS? Which processor? RAM? Does it have pirated crack version of

MS office software? Mummy has to be very careful on this. The oppositions will be waiting for a chance to find fault with her.

  • 20 kg free rice for all ration card holders

Mummy goes one step further by giving 20 kg free rice. Kalaignar gave rice at Re.1 per kg.

  • Free Bus passes for senior citizens to travel within and nearby towns

Now the buses will be crowded with oldies. Young guys and girls would not find buses to be a great means of trans

port.

  • 20 litre free mineral water for those Below Poverty Line (BPL)

Mummy stresses on the hygiene factor also. (Utkaarndhu Yosipaangalo?)

  • Rs. 1.8 Lakh Green house for poor

Green houses? So the yellow houses are finally snuffed out of the scene! The tussle between th

e two colors YELLOW and GREEN has finally found its answer in Green houses. Will these house produce gree

nhouse effect?

  • 3 cent land for landless poor

This would ensure equal distribution of property for the poor. I would personally like to see this promise implemented within this 5 year period.

  • Hospital on wheels to villages

Creativity at its very best. This would have made Mahatma Gandhi happy.

  • Caste Certificate and other certificate will be given in schools itself

When we are striving hard to eradicate castism, why is Mummy bringing this up now? Smells fishy. The only

promise that doesn’t go well with Chronicwriter.

  • 4 set uniform & footwear for Government school students

I have had a few friends who used to come to school with torn pants. This should be implemented at the earliest. Schools are gonna reopen in june.

  • 4 gram gold free for Women Mangalyam

and make Dr. Vijay as the brand ambassador of the Mangalyam ads? By the way, is the Gold worth 24 carats?

  • Sottu Neer Pasanam free for all farmers

This is possible if Cauvery water is opened. This would probably create a problem between the two states.

  • 60,000 cows for 6000 villages to increase milk production

A facepalm to Farmville. No more strawberry milk and Chocolate milk. Yippie.

Facebook was bombarded with interesting status messages about the election results

  • Friday the 13th becomes a solar eclipse for DMK
  • The sun sets by noon
  • No sun burns for Mummy in this election.
Chronicwriter predicted this on his birthday. Check his hand gesture.



Where is Vadivel? The latest Vadivel picture



and What is gonna happen to Kalignar? Will we see yet another arrest drama?



Captain was last seen catching a train to flee to Bagistan.I am not much worried about Vadivel. I feel sorry for our gaptun.


Winston Churchill had predicted this victory almost 60 years ago.


On a lighter note let me end this nutty post with a conversation between the outgoing CM and our PM. (If you had watched the Tamil movie Giri and if you watched the bakery joke between vadivel and Arjun, you would understand this following dialogue)


-Chronicwriter

4 comments:

  1. thala... neenga electionla nina wat is yur chinnam....pls dont tell me red underwear :) ! sathiyama sani adi than!..aparam amma's next revenge on yu!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i'm new to this blog of yours and yeah I smiled, no. giggled like anything. It is really awsome. some thing special is there, about each and every post. loved all of them. great work. and you have a lot of visitors from all around the world. that is great. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. First 20kg free? What killer price will it be starting from the 21st kg? Is she taking lessons from mobile/internet/tv connection companies?

    20 litre mineral water per person every 10 days i hope. Just hygiene isn't enough if you dont drink 2 litres a day. Otherwise neither hygiene nor Digene is gonna keep tummies from running into problems from the 21st litre of bad water.

    Sorry no further comments. i dunno much of politics!

    ReplyDelete

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