May 4, 2011

461. Words have the power to Change your life.

The alter ego of Chronicwriter went into hibernation for a very long period of time. When Osama was killed (According to Obama), the alter-ego woke up and asked Chronicwriter whether he could write a post on this blog. Chronicwriter readily agreed. Mr. X is an expert philosopher who has philosophically counselled many people across the globe. His gave the courage to Sharon Stone to act in the movie Basic Instinct. More over Chronicwriter has gone on a date with Poonam Pandey. So Mr.X is gonna author this post.


He is now gonna give Ten Inspirational One liners that will change your life.

Note: Mr. X doesn't stop with ten.

Additional Note : His one-liners doesn't stop with one line.

1) Cigarette smoking is like a three year old kid trying to dip his feet in sea water. The kid is scared at first to dip his feet inside the water. But once he starts enjoying it, it is difficult to pull him out of the sea. If you have a three year old kid, you will know what I am talking about. (Forget about a 3 year old kid. 29 year old idiots like Chronicwriter behave like lunatics when they enter sea shores.)

2) Strong willed men/women are like dysentery. No one can stop them. ( Are you a strong person?)

3) No body reads a book to reach the middle. Reading till the end makes all the difference. When you start a project , finish it. Don't Quit. (Not applicable if you are suffering from constipation)

4) In USA and China, they drive on the Right.
In London and Singapore, they drive on the left.
In India we drive on what is left.

So If you can drive in India, you can drive anywhere in the world. But you can't drive in India with your driving experience in other parts of the globe.

5) Saddham Hussein - Done
Osama Bin Laden - Done
Arnab Gowsami - When?

6) Men who have hair on the legs always ogle at women. Men who have hair on their ears should be vary of little children. Little children love to pluck the hair from your ears. Chronicwriter has a great track record of plucking hair from ears. Now he himself has some hair on his ears. One has to reap what he has sown.

7) If you have to make an omelet, you have to break the egg. The one who has never failed does not exist. Shucks! Why am I turning into a sissy like Chronicwriter with clich├ęd statements like this?

8) An always-angry man is a lunatic. When he gets into a fight, the pigs appear dignified.

9) Three women I always pity
  1. Wife of Navjot Singh Sidhu
  2. Wife of Arnab Gowsami
  3. Future Wife of Chronicwriter
10) You are a lazy person if you have the habit of pressing the snooze button in your alarm clock every morning. The man who invented the snooze button is the laziest person in the world.

11) When I was a young boy Ass meant donkey, Gay meant happy, Straight meant line, Cock meant rooster, Pussy meant cat, Stag meant deer, Tit was always for tat. Americanization of English has done a great damage to the English language.

12) Everyone loves to facebook. But a true student is one who hates to face his books. When he tries to fall in love with his books, his bed falls in love with him.

13) If nothing goes right, all you have to do is "Go left"

14) If you are having a smooth relationship with your wife and if you haven't fought with her for ages, you might be having a boring life. You can start a fight with her very easily. All you have to do is create a doubt in her mind. Take your mobile phone and text her "I love you too"

15) 1st April is called as "All fools day". Be it March 31 or April 1st or April 2nd - a fool i always a fool. ( Chrony! Are you listening?)

16) If you are working in the telecommunication industry and if you have loose motion and if you want to apply for a leave at workplace; and if you don't want to mention to anyone that you have loose motion, just type "Suffering from Unlimited outgoing with various ring tones".

17) I am gonna reveal a secret about Chronicwriter. He was a brainy guy when he was in school. Sometimes he was the only student in his class who could answer questions posed by teachers in his class. I am adding one incident from Chdonicwriter's diary which talks about how he was the only one who could successfully answer a question in his class.

Date: 12 July 1992
Class : Six
Time: Morning 11 am.
Venue : Class room - History class

Teacher : Who farted in Class?
Chronicwriter : Ma'm. It was me.

Chronicwriter was the only one who could answer this question in his classroom for many years

and finally the message for the day

18) Life is like a coin. It has two sides - 1) happiness 2) Sadness. One side is always visible in your life. But remember the other side is waiting for its turn. Sometimes you need to flip with hopes of viewing the happy side. If you end up on the sad side, you can flip one more time.

-Mr.X

4 comments:

  1. LOL!!!! good post!! hehhehe.....

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahah!! Hilarious..
    loved the 11th an 16th point :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. nice...
    i never press the snooze button, only press stop button.. bcoz i don't like repeat the same work again and again..

    ReplyDelete
  4. thaarmaar... u must recollect dis blog now dt ur married n also 4goswami's sake...
    p.s. life s a circle s missin

    ReplyDelete

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