Apr 14, 2011

457. Poke Nose and get a Rub


Many a times, the human mind plays hide and seek with personal spaces. Many of us always have the tendency to poke our nose into the lives of others. We would love to over hear conversations, witness street fights and also gossip about the people around us. Chronicwriter is one such person. He always pokes his nose and gets solid punches every time

Flashback : 14 years ago.

Chronicwriter was in class 10.

There was a big commotion in the school. The Parents teachers association meeting was in full flow. Heated exchange of words was happening in the premises. The girls had raised a complaint against the boys. They had complained that some boys were frequently visiting the ladies rest room in school. All the parents were staring at all the boys with scornful eyes. Some of the anger filled eyes even stared at the most Innocent Chronicwriter also. The meeting ended in a disaster and no action was taken as no one could exactly find the culprit .

The next week, some girls started hatching a plan to nab the culprit. They were always in a huddle. Some of the girls even pointed their fingers at Chronicwriter and murmured something amongst themselves. Chronic writer could not take it any longer. He started following them. The girls disappeared into the ladies room. Chronicwriter waited patiently outside the restroom and the girls emerged out of the rest room after 15 minutes. They dispersed and went in different directions.

Chronicwriter became restless, because he did not have any idea about what the girls discussed . The next day, the girls did the same thing. Chronic writer would follow them, they would go inside the rest room and he would wait outside the rest room and after 15 minutes, they would emerge out of the rest room. This continued for one week and this irritated him. He reached a point where he could not take it any longer. He realized that the girls were plotting something against him inside the Loo. Weekend came and Chronicwriter decided to sneak inside the ladies room to find out the plot hatched by the girls. That Saturday, Chronicwriter went to the school. No one was around. Only the watchman was standing near the gate. He allowed Chronicwriter inside the school because Chronicwriter told him that he came to spend sometime in the library to study. As soon as Chronicwriter entered the school, he went straight to the ladies room. To his horror he saw the following lines written on the walls of the ladies room.

CHRONICWRITER WAS HERE

When he saw these three words, he almost had tears in his eyes. How could the girls do such a thing to him? He sat in the ladies room for fifteen minutes, cried a lot and left the place with a heavy heart. Monday came and there was a big commotion in school yet again. Everyone were giving Chronicwriter dirty stares. Finally the Principal of the school approached Chronicwriter with a big cane and started thrashing him. It was a horrific scene. He fell down and saw everyone standing around him. None of them saw him with even 1% sympathy. Even Renu turned her head away. Chronicwriter was in tears. The Principal then dragged him to the ladies room and made Chronicwriter to look at the wall. As soon as Chronicwriter saw the wall, he realized his folly. Below the three words written by the girls, there was an additional line.

CHRONICWRITER WAS HERE.

NO, I WAS NOT HERE.

Flashback : 1 week ago

Venue :Annanagar -Subway -Chennai

I walked inside and was waiting in the queue to order the Sub of the day, when I noticed a group of youngsters talking something about me. I even overheard one guy telling the others, "Hey guys! That looks like Chriz - the Blogger". When he uttered those words, a sense of happiness tickled my body and I went to a different world. A few questions started popping in my head
  • Will they trouble me for my autograph?
  • Will the two girls in that group go crazy and scream in high pitched voices to show their happiness in seeing me?
  • Will they take pictures with me and upload it in their facebook albums?
  • If they are working in reputed firms, would they romp me to become their brand ambassadors.
I was almost basking in the glory of my dream process when I realized that it was my turn to place the order. I started to place my order and tried to listen to the conversation of the group of people who were sitting behind me. They suddenly started speaking in hushed tones. I could not hear them. I turned around and all of them were giving me dirty stares. Are they Gopumon's fans? A shiver ran down my spine. I went to the corner of the room, ate the cold melt sandwich and left the place in a hurry. There are advantages of being recognized in public places and there is also a danger of getting beaten up in public places when people recognize you.

Flashback: Yesterday

The facebook Punch

Chronicwriter is an avid facebook user and he has more than 3000 people in his friends list. He knows only 1/3rd of them personally. The rest are his Blog friends, readers and his spiritual friends.

Three days ago, a middle aged man added me on facebook. He is a spiritual leader. He added me with a preconceived thought that I would be sharing insights that relate to his thoughts. But he got irritated with me when he saw my humor posts and he did not like it. He also did not like my spiritual stand, because it conflicted with his ideologies. I never knew all this.

Last night, this middle aged man added a status message

What do you do to remove some one from FB friends list?

When I saw his status message, I decided to help him. So I became the first to comment on his page.

He removed me from his friend list.

Yes, I am telling all my readers now, "Chronicwriter is indeed a PAIN."

I might be in your good books. I might be in your bad books. But I really don't care a hoot. I love being myself. You ain't living my life. It is my life and I will live it my way and not Your way.

-Chronicwriter

10 comments:

  1. "Are they Gopumon's fans? A shiver ran down my spine."

    Ha ha ha, I really laughed out loud for this one!

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  2. Which part is fact? Which is fiction? :D

    I loved the last couple of lines (and of course the probably (un)intended rhyme which ended in the word "hoot") :)

    I saw a sentence where the word "discuss" is followed by "about". Usually, in native varieties of English, discuss is not followed by "about". You could make the change if you wish :)

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  3. @bluehornbill :)

    @srinivas : the first part is a lie. the subway and the facebook stories are true

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  4. That was a great post man...loved ur first flashback :)

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  5. Reading the last incident- Bhalai ka toh zamana hi nahi raha! :P

    Lol...You're the first blogger I actually enjoyed reading!

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  6. "CHRONICWRITER WAS HERE.

    NO, I WAS NOT HERE."

    ROTFL!

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  7. i love it when people remove me from their friends' list coz, i enjoy blocking them further! lol..join the club!

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  8. I BELIEVE that u r so innocent fellow

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  9. I believe that u r very innocent fellow..

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