Dec 9, 2010

439.How to post comments.

Free advice is one art that is mastered by every human being. Everybody loves to advice others. Every human being has this mental itch to comment on any topic , even if he has no clue on that topic. The Blogging platforms and Social networking sites like Facbook have identified this mental itch of human beings and they have formulated various ways to allow human beings to voice their opinion on anything under the sun.


First let us start with Facebook

The blogging platforms have taken pains to introduce a section called as the "Comments section". Any Tom, Dick and Harry can post any nonsense in this section. Facebook has gone one step ahead in this case.In addition to the comment box, They have also introduced the Like button.

Let me tell you two important ways of using the Like Button.
  1. If you Like the person , all you have to do is click the Like button to what ever he posts as his status message. Don't forget to click the Like Button on all the comments of people who support the status message of the person.

  2. If you don't like the person, do not click the Like button on any of his status messages or posts. But, have a close watch on what ever he posts as his status message. When ever anyone opposes his views by bashing him with a snubbing comment, go ahead and click the Like Button on that Snubbing comment. By doing so, you are conveying the message that you don't like him. (Chronicwriter receives many Likes on any stinker comment posted by anyone on any of his Notes/status message)
When it comes to drawing attention and comments, all you have to do is "Become a Girl". Check the picture below and You would understand my agony.

Now let us move to Blogging.

Blogging has become an everyday activity of almost every net user. 90% of the active Internet users are either active bloggers or at least passive bloggers (commenter). The Blog posts vary in different shades and proportions : Short stories, Epics (Series), Poems, Technology posts, Inspirational stories, Real life Incidents etc... Most of us would not have enough time to read the full post written by a blogger. But still we would like to make our presence felt by posting our comments. But If we haven't read a blog post fully, how are we supposed to add our valuable comments? This post will help you to solve this question.

Please use the following Default comments when you post comments on Blog posts

Short Story

1) Unexpected end. Wonderful
2) Nice Twist ( Even if there is no twist in the story, the author of the blog would think that there is some twist in the story. This comment would keep the author busy)
3) Short and Sweet ( This is a very famous sentence used by many commenters.One good soul used this comment on one of my Loooooooong Posts)
4) The best I have read in recent times. ( The author would travel to cloud 9)
5) You should publish a book ( This comment would make the author to read his article again and again.)

Poetry
This is one area where Chronicwriter is not very good at. But still, to prove his critics wrong, he might write a poem soon on this page. Most of us do not have the literary prowess to understand the English Vocabulary of poets (I have to admit that I don't have). Here are some tips that you can use for commenting on poetic posts

1) Poetic (As if the author doesn't know about it)
2) Bravo
3) Sweet like Honey
4) William Shakespeare would be proud of you ( Even if you have not read any Shakespearean works, you can still use this comment)

Competition story

These days, we have story writing competitions all over the web. Every blogger aspires to become a winner in some competition or the other. If you come across a blog entry written for a competition, the following comments can be used

1) All the very best
2) Treat me when you win the competition
3) You should get the Pulitzer
4) I did not participate in this competition because I know that you are participating in it.
5) Brilliant

If it is an Epic (Blog Series)

1) I loved the flow
2) I am waiting for the next part ( Even if the author writes 10 parts in the blog series, the same comment can be used. But remember not to use this comment for the concluding part)
3) How can you ever come up with such ideas?
4) You have created great expectations.
5) My sister likes your posts ( If the author is a male, he would visit your blog/your facebook account and try to add your sister to his Facebook account)
6) J.K Rowling should learn from you.
7) Copy and paste the last sentence of the post and write " Why did you end like this? Can't wait for the next part)
8)Thrilling

There are hundred more ways of adding comments to blog posts. If you have any interesting comments, please mention in the comments section.

-Chronicwriter

Dec 8, 2010

438. Coffee and Married Life

There is a big connection between Coffee and Married Life. The Coffee Taste, has a direct relation to the number of years the couple have journeyed together in Married life.



Scenario : Husband returns home after a tiring day at work


Hubby :Hunney, Am I troubling you by asking you to make coffee?
Wifey : That's alright Darling. I know what my sweetheart likes. I'll add some decoction coffee (Brewed coffee) to the full-cream milk and let me add fine sugar and believe me you will Love it.
Married Life = Less than 6 months

**********************

Hubby : Hunney,There is not much milk in the coffee
Wifey : Yes. I know. The Milk is in the refrigerator. I am tired. Please boil it and add to the coffee.
Married life = Just completed 1 year

**********************

Hubby : Hunney,Can I have some coffee?
Wifey : Please wait. Let me finish this episode of FRIENDS on TV. Can you please boil the milk. I will come and add coffee to it.
Married life = 2 years

***********************


Hubby : Hunney, What is this? There is neither milk nor sugar in this coffee. Don't you know that I don't like coffee this way?
Wifey : Can't you drink like this at least one day? Do I have to do all the work ?
Married life = More than 3 years

***********************

Hubby : Hunney,Why just a glass of water? Can I have some coffee?
Wifey : Do you think I own a coffee estate? Coffee powder is in the kitchen and milk is in the refrigerator. Make some for me too
Married life= More than 4 years

***********************************

Hubby: Hunney,Can you please open the door? I need to come inside the house.
Wifey : Wait! I am tending my crops in Farmville.
Married life= More than 5 years

******************************

Hubby : Hunney! I have brought you cappuccino coffee and brownie cookies from Starbucks

Wifey : Don’t you know that I like Mocha better than Cappuccino? Now, Make me some fresh coffee

Married life= 6-10 years

*******************************

Hubby : Hunney! Do you need Hot coffee or cold coffee?

Wifey : How many time should I tell you that I prefer Cold Coffee on Thursdays?

Married life= More than 10 years

********************************

Note : Did you notice that the Hubby always uses the word “Hunney” all these years?

Additional Note : Chronicwriter is still single and He doesn’t drink coffee J

Latest News : Chronicwriter has been invited by his friend and his wife to their house for a cup of coffee. They are married for 5 years.

-Chronicwriter

Dec 7, 2010

437. Gandhi and students

Note : Students do the darndest things. They do not even spare the Father of the nation.

1) Student Name : Chronicwriter. Occasion : Mock Press Competition.

Chronicwriter donned the role of Gandhiji . The Judges asked him, " Among the present day celebrities, who can you associate yourself with?"

Chronicwriter (Gandhi): I would associate myself with Salman Khan and Mallika Sherwath. All of us shed our clothes to reveal our belly buttons. I do it for our Desh (Nation). Salman does it for Aish (Power) and Mallika for Cash.

Trivia: Chronicwriter was eliminated in that round. He started this blog page and started to rant.



2) Student Name : Ravindra Jadeja. Occasion: Primary School History Examination

Teacher: Write a Note on Gandhi Jayanthi.

Ravindra Jadeja: Gandhi Was a Great Man, Jayanthi is a super Hot girl. Gandhi loved Jayanthi. One day he proposed to her. She said Yes. Then they got married. Their wedding day is celebrated all over the world as "Gandhi Jayanthi day".

Trivia : Ravindra Jadeja was sent out of the class. He picked up a cricket bat and became a cricketer

3) Student Name: Anand Jon. Occasion : Art class

Anand Jon was playing with two ten Rupee notes and suddenly the fashion designer in him, emerged out in art form.


Trivia : Anand Jon is now in prison on charges of Rape and Child molestation


-Chronicwriter

Dec 6, 2010

436. American Politics in Bed



A ten year old Boy and his dad have a bed-time discussion about America

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction, honey.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass
destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent
to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the @!#$ movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings,killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets, I mean, the Russians, are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A. Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes,
make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

Q: Good night, Daddy.
A : OK sonny!
-Author Unknown
Note : Now, Scroll up and Click the picture on top to have a better understanding of this post

Dec 3, 2010

435. He Kissed Me

The other day, I was in Subway munching on a 6 inch Beef Roast and sipping on some Coke. I saw him sitting a few tables across me. He was sitting alone and eating too. When I looked at him, he saw me staring at him. He was fair and handsome and he must have been in his late twenties.He had powerful eyes. There was an instant chemistry between us. I did not know how to react. Before he could respond to my stare, I gave him a gentle smile. He was smiling at me too. I knew that I was straight and I was pretty sure that I did not have any feelings for this guy. But the vacuum between him and I became so strong. I wasn't sure of the thoughts that were running in his head. Something in my mind said, "Chrony! Go and talk to him". I got up to go to his table. To my surprise, he got up and started walking towards me. We were defying physics. "Like poles do not repel", I thought to myself. Soon we were standing very close to each other. The air between us was so thick that one could have actually cut it with knife. "Was he attracted to me?", I thought to myself. Suddenly the unexpected thing happened. He came closer to me and kissed me on my lips. Everyone around us were stunned. A kid started giggling. The manager of the place walked up to us and said, " Sir, Kissing the mirror is not allowed in this place".

Now I have the attention of all my readers, I would like to convey an important message to every one.. Many of my posts originate from the dark chambers of my creative brain. When the dark Chambers go on a strike, my brain goes for plan-B. Plan-B is very simple. All I have to do is take a Little Johnny, Calvin or any joke from any movie or mail forward and build a story around it. I never have a systematic way in writing my blogs. But I have to admit that most of the ideas are born in the toilet. Now, let me detail the exact point that I wanted to convey through this post. There are many things in life that make us go mentally numb. Things that make us smile sometimes and sad at other times. Things that make us sad are those things that would even make us upset. I had never been upset for anything in the past two years. Let me not beat around the bush any longer.I am gonna narrate a very serious issue here. Something as serious as what Pamela Anderson wore on Big Boss 4 or how Sreesanth was slapped by Bhajji. OK, before you press Alt+F4, let me open the subject.
This post is about my blog posts being forwarded around in the e-mail world. A mail forward of "Gabtun's 9 mantras for a happy life" came to my inbox. I was happy to see my blog post doing the rounds in the Internet world. But I was surprised when I saw the signature " Concept by Saurav" at the bottom of the mail. I would like to tell Mr. Saurav that the concept originated in my head when I was spending time in the the loo. A friend from India called me over the phone and told me that my funny post "Animal scientist" was being circulated in his office and one of his colleagues was claiming that he wrote the article. Apparently he was brainy enough to remove the first paragraph of the post to prove hi claim. I don't become sad when I come across things like this. I don't mind when someone claims that they wrote it. Next time you copy my posts and forward it as a mail. You can also add a line saying ," An Idiotic blogger-Chronicwriter has copied this idea from me and he has posted the same material on his blog". By adding a line like that, you would have the upper hand because people often trust the first one who calls foul.

For those who do not know, I would like to remind that this blog is strictly copy-right and copy-left protected under the Corporate and Criminal Protection act. This act was jointly cleared by Kuresh Salmadi and Darkha Butt. So if you wish to forward any of my posts, please provide the URL of this page.

DO NOT IGNORE THIS. Last week my friend ignored what I said and in five minutes he had a crow shit on his head. So save your heads now!! Forward this to everybody you know and enjoy the following benefits .

50+ forwards : You will no longer get caught by your boss while reading blogs or while Trying to flirt with the girl/guy in the adjacent cubicle.

40+ forwards : Guys, your friend's girlfriend will kiss you within the next one week. Girls, the guy you love will stop flirting with other girls.

30+ forwards : You will meet the love of your life in the next one hour. Please move out of your cubicle and walk around your office to experience this reality in your life. Make sure that your boss doesn't catch you walking around in office.

20+ forwards : You will get married in exactly one year from today. After one year, if you are still unmarried, please forward this to 20 + friends.

10+ forwards : You will go on a dream date!! (Remember to sleep well)

1-10 forwards : Guys, you will get a chance to take a Hot Girl for a ride on your bike. Girls! Please make your younger brother to sit between you and the guy to prevent damages.

0 forwards : Guys, you will be slapped, cussed, by a girl, her mother and father and you will also be punched in your groin by a three year old kid. Girls, Your boyfriend will ditch you. Remember! No one will charge your mobile phone and give you free lifts on the bike/car.


-Chronicwriter ( The forward idea was copied from a mail forward )

Dec 2, 2010

434. Examination Blues - Those School days

It is not that easy to become a Hero to Zero in No time. I am not talking about Suresh Kalmadi, Barkha Dutt and Chetan Bhagat. This is a post about the class tests and examinations that tortured us during our school days.

I was a champion of sorts in getting zero marks in class tests and examinations. When I joined a new school in Class 6, I became a hero with my joke-cracking skills , own composed songs, Dancing ability and my secret weapon - Mimicry. My friends were also scared of me because of my Karate skills. It was the best three months of my school life (June 1992 to August); and then the Mad-Mid term Test came into my life. I never knew that a simple school Test would change my status from a Hero to a Zero in a jiffy.
You might think that getting Zero marks in an exam can be easily achieved by not writing anything on the paper. There is no thrill in getting zero marks by not writing anything on paper. The real achiever is one who fills up the examination answer sheets with his literary, logical and analytical skills and still manages to get zero marks for the paper. I fall under such a category.

Zeroes have been a part and parcel of my life. Getting zero marks in exams is an art by itself. I had mastered this art at a very tender age. Very few recognised my skills in this area. If only the Ministry of education had noted my skills, they would have conferred me with an honorary Doctorate degree or at least a Master of Arts degree. My teachers had a very bad habit. On all other days, I was allowed to sit along with boys in classroom. Three boys would sit on one bench. But on exam days, I would be made to sit between two girls. That was the time that I realised that " There are two women on either sides of every unsuccessful man". Girls never helped me during the school exams. If only they had helped me, I would have been in the Silicon Valley now. ( I am not referring to Pamela Anderson)




Exam time is the only time when I become a sincere prayer warrior. Even If I had not touched my text books, I would pray very sincerely as soon as the question paper is handed to me. When I open my eyes to scan through the dreaded question paper, at least one girl (either the one on my left or the one on my right) would say , " Sir, Can I have an additional sheet of paper". During those days,getting an additional sheet of paper was seen as an achievement by itself. The main answer paper had 4 sides. More often I would find it very difficult to cross these 4 pages itself. After receiving the additional sheet from the teacher, she would look around with an attitude. Finally she would see me still struggling with the first page of my answer sheet and would sarcastically smile at me. The Mike Tyson within me would urge me to punch her nose and bite her ear. But because of the Invigilator, I would curb my inhibitions. In the mean time, I would start decorating the front page of my answer sheet by writing my Name, Sex, Class, Roll Number, Date of Exam and Subject. Many a times I had forgotten the subject name. The question paper would save me on such occasions. By filling the first page with such details, I would complete half a page of the first side of my answer paper.

Another problem that I faced was my handwriting. Till class 5, I used ruled paper to write my exams. So I used to write within the lines. But in Class 6, they shocked me by giving me a plain paper to write my exams. My answers always resembled a Airplane take-off or landing. I would start my sentence from the top left side of the page and the first line would slant down and end at the bottom right side of the page.There was another compulsory rule that every page should have minimum 25 lines each. No wonder I almost never got additional sheets during my exams. But still during every exam, I tried my level best to cross past the Main answer sheet. This was basically because, I never wanted the girls sitting next to me to come to know that I don't know anything. At times, they would be curious to know what I wrote on my paper and hence they would try to take a peek into my paper. At such times, I would hide my answer paper with my hands and stare back at them with the look that conveyed the message ," Don't try to copy from me". I would also add some spice to my stare by giving an innocent stare at the teacher that conveyed the message ," Sir, This girl is trying to copy from me". These are moments when the Non-verbal communication is executed in a perfect synchronised manner.
During one exam I discovered a technique to fill up the content in the Main answer paper. I am sharing this technique with the present generation students. This might be helpful for you. This technique might be old and it is from the old school of thought from the early nineties. But still it would be effective. Have you seen a Three column Blog Template with a header and a footer slot? This is the principle that goes behind the technique. Use your pencil and ruler and draw Big margins on all four sides of the paper and thus the central portion becomes small. Make sure that you leave a little space at the centre for filling with some answers.

The girls sitting besides me would have two sketch pens at least while answering the questions. They would underline important words with Orange color sketch pen. They were the brain behind the Internet SEO techniques. They usually decorated their answer papers after writing the answers on the paper. But I had the habit of decorating my paper with boxes and curved margins even before I wrote anything on the answer sheet.
After doing all the decorations, I would skim through the question paper. It would be Greek for me. But brave people like me would still attempt to answer them. For the question " What is the chemical formula for Nitric acid",the answer would go on for four pages and before long, I would have finished the main answer sheet. If you had seen MGM productions, you would have seen a roaring Lion. When ever the Lion roars, Tom ans Jerry would be screened on cartoon network. Similarly when ever I coughed, it was a signal to the whole class that I was about to stand up for requesting the additional answer sheet. The whole class would look at me in admiration. The girl sitting next to me would try her level best to avoid eye contact with me. But I would make throat-clearing noises till she looked at me. As soon as she looks at me, I would give the attitude-look (Johnny Bravo style) with one raised eye-brow and that would make her to hang her face in shame. Then I would sit down and finish the additional sheets in no time too.

































If you are thinking, " Why there is a big gap for this sentence?", I would like to tell you that this is another technique for filling up answer sheets. But strict teachers who abide by the 25 lines/ page rule will not appreciate this technique. So use this technique only on those teachers who are dumber than you.
After performing all these stunts in the exam hall, my classmates would have a very good impression on me. This impression will be powdered to saw dust when the teachers hand over the corrected answer sheets to us. In the beginning, it will surely pain to get Zero marks for a subject for which your heart, mind, soul and energy is used to fill the answer sheets. But when you get regular Zeroes, you will get used to it. (You might not understand my emotions. But Sania Mirza would definitely understand my emotions. Her scores in the first round exits at grand slams and my exam results during my school days are one and the same)
-Chronicwriter

Dec 1, 2010

433. Before and After

Two years ago, a careless reader of this blog left an important object on this blog.[link]. The careless reader never contacted me. It also helped Chronicwriter to write many articles on this page. The Red underwear series is dedicated to that reader without whom, this would not have been possible. Chronicwriter uses it as a thinking cap and it gives him super-humor thoughts. A few days ago, Chronicwriter's beautiful neighbour bought a Brown Horse. It lacked the majestic look. When she approached Chronicwriter for consultation, he had the right answer for her. Below are two pictures that depict the Brown Horse's majestic appearance because of the Red Underwear.

Toto and Moto
Toto and Moto are two lovely Dogs. They are very cute.Three days ago, The author of this blog attended a birthday party of a three year old baby girl. The sumptuous meal stirred his tummy and he entered the wash room in that house. Toto and Moto were locked inside the washroom because they both were naughty doggies. They looked so cute.They wagged their small tails when they saw him entering the wash room. Chronicwriter finished his duty and left the rest room. The picture on the left was taken by Chronicwriter when he entered the wash room. The second picture was taken just before he left the wash room

The Three year old Birthday Baby

As soon as Chronicwriter emerged out of the rest room, he saw the birthday baby having a wonderful time. The little angel was blowing kisses at every one at the party. Chronicwriter went near the Baby and tried to befriend her. The Baby started crying and she is having diarrhea for the last three days.

Look around the Loo

This is a special warning to all Men around the globe. When you enter a public toilet, please scan the entire toilet for the possibilities of hidden cameras. This morning, Chronicwriter used the Men's rest room at his workplace. Within One hour, the below picture was posted on the door of the Toilet. They do have some hidden cameras in the rest room. Watch out!


Chronicwriter was using his thinking cap while typing this post

-Chronicwriter

Question : How many times did the word "Chroniwriter" appear in this article? This includes the usage of the word in this question also. The winners with correct entries will have the privilege of inviting the author of this page for their birthday parties.