Nov 24, 2010

Nov 19, 2010

431. Men's Room

Have you ever been to a Men's room in India? The Public Toilets in Indian Bus stands, Cinema halls and Railway stations have a major role to play in the increasing death rate of the male population in India. I have never been to a Ladies' room. So I am not qualified to comment on that subject. (My friend Robert might have the answer)

The Men's room is one place where every man will use one of his hands to clip his nose. When ever I visit a public toilet in India, I always wish that I had more than two hands.

Almost every Men's public toilet in India has two sections

1) The Urinal
2) The Motional

One could survive in the first section. But chances of survival in the latter section is very less.

The main difference between the Urinal and the Motional is that the Motional section has doors and offers privacy. Finding a place to keep your feet on the floor is very difficult in such sections.

Most of the doors have cloth hangers and in most of these "Motionals", one could find at least one Underwear hanging on the hanger. A careful analysis of the underwear would reveal dirt stains in the form of Africa map and Europe map. These underwears can be used by Geography teachers to teach their students. If only these doors and walls had eyes to cry and mouths to wail, they would have created havoc which inturn would have made the Government to clean up the mess.

You can never find a lizard, rat, fly or even a mosquito in a men's room. They all suffer instant death when ever they try to venture into the men's room.Some of these Motionals do not even have a door. This gives unpleasant surprises to oncoming passengers who try to enter the motionals. Chronicwriter has given unpleasant surprises to a couple of passengers in his lifetime.

How ever, things are lot different in Singapore. The Public toilets are so clean. They even have a pleasant aroma. Some Men's room even remind me of Bakeries. People even have photo sessions in the men's room.The picture below was taken in a men's room.(Chronicwriter is the one in the right)

The toilets in Singapore are so clean that one can even eat food inside them. Detailed care and affection is given in designing the interiors in these toilets. I don't understand the reason for the presence of a flower-vase inside a toilet. I remember my childhood days when I had the habit of peeing on the Shoeflower Pot in our garden. When ever I see the flower-vases in a loo, I am always tempted to re-live my childhood days. I hope that History would not be repeated.

Am I saying that India is no good compared to Singapore? NO. Never. I love India
for one reason. When you have to go, you can go anywhere. You don't have to search for a public toilet to let free of the Uric acid in liquid form. All you need is a wall. But you can never do that in Singapore. If you pee in public, you will have to end up paying a fee for that. There are cameras everywhere. The last thing you want is your public Watering Video to appear on youtube.

Singapore : You can Kiss in Public. But you can't Piss in Public

India: You can't Kiss in Public. But you can Piss in Public

Note: Today (November 19th) is International Men's day. It is also International Toilet day. Hence this post. Happy Men's day wishes to all men around the globe and Happy International Toilet day wishes to all the women around the globe.

- Chronicwriter

Nov 1, 2010

430. India's preparation for Cricket worldcup 2011

In two months time, 1 Billion Indians would be be busy once again talking about Cricket world cup 2011. A few cricketers would trend on Twitter too. Justin Bieber would be out of limelite for sometime. The Indians won a world cup when Chronicwriter was a 1 year old baby. Will they win the world cup when he turns 29?

India has won the world cup twice (50 overs and 20 overs). On both occassions,they were underdogs. They were expected to win the worldcup in 1987,2003. But they choked in the final hurdles on both occassions. In the second edition of the 20-20 world cup, they were the hot favorites. But they were bundled out in the first round. Let us have a look at the Indian Cricket team's preparation for the forthcoming worldcup.

The Bengal Tiger is still around. But will he get a place in the team? He was a great player on the offside and his footwork was similar to Steffi Graf's. He was a terror for all the bowlers, till that fateful day in 2005 when Chaminda Vass bowled a bouncer at him. The tiger went into the cave and never returned. Everyone started bowling short pitched deliveries to the Bengal Tiger and even spinners started treating him like a Bunny.

Remember our Appam Chappathy @GopuMon? He is a disaster from all directions, yet he provides entertainment with his dance moves and his artificial arrogance. Harbajjan, Inzamam have taught him great lessons in the past. He never learnt the lesson from them. He bowls good deliveries on his day.

The spin trio! Gone were the days when India's spin trio posed a serious threat to the opposition teams. Bhajji would be the spearhead. The supporting spinners slot would either be filled by Ohja or Amit Mishra or Ashwin. Did I miss someone? Kumble still has some gun powder left in his package.But he has already hung his boots. Dhoni still uses part time spinners (Rohit Sharma, Raina, Yuvi, Jadeja, Sehwag, Yusuf Pathan). India does have lot of Bowling options. Yusuf Pathan would be a great pick. He plays well in the subcontinent pitches. Hope the Indian selection committee use their brains while selecting the team.



The middle order is gonna have a great competition. With Sachin and Sehwag almost sealing the openers slot, the middle order is gonna be a battle between Gambhir, Virat Kohli, Rohit Sharma, Raina, Yuvi, Yusuf Pathan.

If you are a Ravindra Jadeja fan, please leave this page immediately. Sometimes the Indian thinktank make wierd decisions. Some players manage to hang on with the team for no reason at all. There was this Deep Das Gupta who travelled along with the Indian team for a long time. If Jadeja plays in the worldcup, I will support for Zimbabwe.

To view the next picture, you have to do three things
1)Stand up as a mark of respect (Please don't see this picture in your sitting posture. You will be infected with piles)
2) Keep your hand on your chest and say "Hail Captain"
3) Run to the Restroom and Puke.

Rains will play a major part in the 2011 worldcup. The team batting second will have to face the music in most matches. Duckworth Lewis idiots will have a good time. The matches are gonna be a run feast.

Navjot Sidhu might make a comeback into the commentary Box. Twitter freaks will have a good time with Sidhuisms. Srikanth's words " Every body should play natural game yaar. Sabhi players natural game keltha hai" should be in the mind of every cricketer.

If only the following thing becomes a reality, the world will surely end in 2012.

-Chronicwriter