Sep 21, 2010

425. Ten signs that your wife is Pregnant

My first Love "Renu" (Kindergarten crush) is now pregnant with her third baby. Her first two kids are not named after me. Will she name this baby ,"Chriz"? I have to wait and see. Recently a friend of mine "Stephen" ended his bachelor life. Last night he gave me a call and asked, " Chriz, How would I know if my wife is pregnant or not?" I felt sorry for my innocent friend. Immediately I decided to come out of my blog hiatus and help him. If you are an innocent soul like my friend, this blog post is for you.

Ten signs that your wife is pregnant ( For men! Women can also read this )

1) Missed Period
Remember the school days? Each hour is called a "Period" and we would often refer each period as Geography Period, History Period and Science Period. Ask your wife, if she had missed any period in her school days. If the answer is Yes, then your wife is definitely pregnant.

2) Nausea
Nausea can occur with or without vomiting and is often worse on an empty stomach. Commonly Nausea happens when your wife looks at your face, sometimes she has the puking tendency when she looks at her own face in the mirror. But if she has that tendency for any other reason, she is definitely pregnant. (Food poisoning excluded)

3) Frequent Urination
Remember the bed wetting days? Your mom would spank you every morning when she finds that you had wet your bed. I have done that many times. Most kids wet their bed because they are so lazy to get out of their bed and walk to the loo to perform the activity. Sometimes bed wetting also happens because the speed of Urine is 74 times faster than the speed of your legs. Coming back to the subject matter, if your wife has a frequent Urination tendency, then she might be pregnant

4) Craze for Mangoes and Pickles.
Mangoes are tasty. Stolen mangoes are Taste more. When I was a little boy, I loved to climb mango trees and steal mangoes from the neighbours' backyard. When I grew older, I was introduced to alcohol. Pickles were great side dishes for alcohol consumption. Any drunkard would agree with me on this. I don't steal mangoes anymore and I have deactivated my love for alcohol too. If you can find any creature in this world that is more crazy for mangoes than a kid and more crazy for pickles than a drunkard, then that creature is nothing but a pregnant woman.

5) The Cop -Secret
Does your wife's tummy suddenly look like the one in the picture below? If yes, she is pregnant


6) Ache
Is your wife complaining about Back ache, Head ache, Tummy ache and Leg ache? Her own body parts are now giving her some trouble and you are no longer the trouble inducer. She is pregnant.

7) Did she say "I am late" ?
Did your wife tell you that she was late? Don't ask her whether she was late for work. Just keep your mouth shut. She is pregnant

8) Sensitive smell
If your wife's smell sensitivity index suddenly becomes high and if she starts sniffing better than your dog, she is pregnant

9) Dangerous Gas
This is the dangerous part. Do you find a new competitor in your house who can fart better than you with a smell that can knock you down for hours? She is pregnant

10) Do you have all these symptoms?
Sometimes your wife might not have all the above 9 symptoms but you might have all the above 9 symptoms . Chances are that you are pregnant . These days even Men can have babies [link]

Now these ten signs would have definitely enlightened you. Below are some T-Shirt signs that your wife could display to convey the message that she is indeed pregnant

"What's Kicking", "pregnant not fat", "under construction", "I've been fertilized", "I can grow people"," Contraception malfunction"," Sex Education Drop Out", "Birth Control A No No", "mom-to-be" and many more.

As the proud hubby, you can also display T-shirt signs when you accompany her on evening walks, such as "the man behind the belly", "Look what I did", "my boys can swim" etc...

-Chronicwriter