May 25, 2010

410. Eight Postures for a healthy life

The late Shri. Morarji Desai lived for 99 years. He had the habit of drinking his own urine. It is believed that drinking urine prolongs your life on earth. But still he fell short of the magic triple figure for the sole fact that he did not practice Chronicwriter's "Eight Postures for a healthy life".

"The eight postures for a healthy life" is an amazing discovery made by Chronicwriter. You must be knowing that Chronicwriter is an advanced expert in the field of Yoga, Reiki, KungFu, Judo. He combined all these art forms and formulated these "eight postures".

This post will change your life for sure. Chronicwriter Taught these 8 postures to a small kid and he is leading a healthy life. If anyone else had found these postures, they would have made a business out of this. But as Chronicwriter has a good heart, he is gonna share the 8 postures in this post- completely free of Cost. Yes! Absolutely free.

Chronicwriter's Top Model friend - "Saranya" agreed to help him for this post. She has posed for the 8 postures. Chronicwriter extends his gratitude to Saranya for helping him in this project. I request the readers to inhale deeply before reading the 8 postures. Please follow the instructions mentioned in each posture for best results.

Posture -1 : Four- finger Pose
  1. Stand near a wall with your right side facing the wall.
  2. Use your left hand to slightly scratch your left thigh
  3. Now lift your right hand and place it on your head and show your four fingers (Do not show your thumb)
  4. Stand in this position for 5 minutes


Benefits
  • Good blood circulation
  • Hair loss will be reduced by 90 %
  • Swine flu can be prevented by this method
Risk
  • How ever this posture is very risky if the thumb is shown. So always avoid showing the thumb ( You might ask, " To whom? ". I have the same question too)
Posture-2: Ear drop pose
  1. This is a continuation of the previous posture. Slowly move your right hand and place it on your head
  2. Gently move your left hand and grab your waist
  3. Make it sure that your left ear-drop/ear-ring is visible.
  4. Stand in this position for 5 minutes

Benefits
  • Increase in Hemoglobin count
  • Improved eye sight
  • Disappearance of pimples and wrinkles
Risk
  • If the waist is not grabbed, your dog might die.

Posture-3: Raised eyebrow Pose

  1. Grab your hair with both hands
  2. Show your back to the wall
  3. Raise your left eyebrow
  4. Stand in this pose for 5 minutes

Benefits:
  • Development of one more kidney
  • Increase in white blood cells
  • Good heart beat rate
Risks:
  • If you raise your right eyebrow instead of your left eyebrow, you might even have a heart attack
Posture-4: Back biting Pose
  1. Face the wall and show your bare back
  2. Keep your left hand on your left hip
  3. Turn your face gently and place your chin on your left shoulder
  4. Stay in this position for 3 minutes

Benefits:
  • Weight reduction
  • Good digestion
Risk
  • If you exceed the 3 minute mark, mosquitoes might bite your bare back
Posture:5 - Sitting pose

  1. Sharon Stone sat like this in Basic Instinct-2
  2. Sit in this position for 5 minutes
  3. Keep on Inhaling. Do not exhale

Benefits:
  • Ability to Hear sounds greater than 20,000 Hertz
  • Strengthening of calf muscles
Risk
  • If you exhale, you might end up getting Bird flu
Posture:6 - Ear poking pose
  1. Show your back to the wall and poke your right ear with your right index finger
  2. Keep poking for 4 minutes

Benefits:
  • The wax in your right hair can be removed by this method
Risk:
  • Excessive poking is not safe for the ear
Posture:7 - Hip-Thigh Pose

  1. Stand, with your right side facing the wall
  2. Place your left hand on your hip and your right hand on your right thigh
  3. Stand in this posture for 2 minutes

Benefits:
  • Diseases like Malaria, Rat flu, Cholera, Asthma, AIDS will flee away from your body
Risk:

  • This posture should be done after eating. If this posture is done before eating, the chances of getting a dysentery is high
Posture:8 Sweet Whisper Pose
  1. This pose is exclusively for the ladies.
  2. Sit close to Chronicwriter and whisper sweet nothings on his ears.

Benefits
  • Creates a burning sensation in the tummies of all the guys
  • Gives Chronicwriter an opportunity to smile like this
Risk
  • If you have a boyfriend, don't let your boyfriend know about this pose. It is highly risky for Chronicwriter
Please practice these 8 steps to have a healthy life

Note: I am waiting to see Saranya's expression when she reads this post.

-Chronicwriter

16 comments:

  1. Interesting...... Will follow Chriz.. thanks for sharing such a humorous info.. as you said, the eighth pose I won't show it to my guy :P

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  2. Hahahahahah!! Good ways to lead a life bro :P

    And about Saranya, She is so going to Laugh Loudly like she does always!!!

    - Nusrath :)

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  3. Hahahaha...
    OMG...Chriz you are the limit :) :)
    How do you come up with such crazy stuff...?? Love reading your posts...

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  4. hahahaha :D whose the girl... beware of her heels :P
    hillarious post :D

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Hey,

    So, I just came across your blog while I was trying to waste time at work.

    What I thought was really hilarious (and weird) was the fact that you've got your BIO DATA (!!?) up on your blog?! Seriously man. What a way to make a statement. :P

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  7. The science of how this is happening.
    Man you are a science student, u need to explain mechanisms?

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  8. andavaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

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  9. Is the last pic for real???? :D

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  10. hahah liked the last one...it surely gives burning sensation in the tummy :P...and i guess if we do all the postures there will be back pain :P..

    urs..hemu..

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  11. whoa !! is she really your friend ?? i thot you picked up those pics from Indiaglitz or something !!

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  12. Thank You for the post. You can give Baba Ramdev a run for his money. Loved the last pose. Will strictly do it for You : )

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  13. haha... dude, so the excuse to put the pretty girl on your blog! :D

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Did you smile? Do let me know about your views of this post. Please read the post before commenting