Tuesday, May 04, 2010

405. Celebrities caught Red Handed

Do you guys remember Mr.X ? (The alter-ego of Chronicwriter). He has become a private detective. He was undercover for a long time and during this period, he unearthed many dark secrets of many celebrities in India. He is gonna reveal some of the secrets in this post. Sit back, relax and enjoy this fun ride along with Mr.X

Shushma Swaraj tried the unachievable act by trying to hug MISS. Jeyalalitha.
Her attempt was unsuccessful.She could only cover 20 % of Jeyalalitha's body and that itself was a record of sorts in recent times. By the way, did you guys notice the white hand kerchief in Sushma's hand? When Sushma failed in her attempt to hug Jeyalalitha, she was filled with rage and hence rubbed some of her phlegm on Jeyalalitha's back.

Miss Jeyalalitha was under Mr.X's scrutiny yet again. This time, he caught the
single-Virgin momma of Tamil soil red handed when she received a bunch of yellow roses from Mr.RAM-DOS. Mr. RAM DOS is the founder of DOS programming language and the speed of the computer is measured using his first name RAM.

The greatest discovery of the 21st century was made by Judge Tahiliyani when he declared Ajmal Kasab guilty of all the 86 charges filed against him. It took 16 long months to make this amazing discovery. One among the charges included "walking inside the railway station without a platform ticket". I do not know whether to celebrate or hang my head in shame. Kasab is just a leaf of a tree. This leaf could have been plucked away long ago. But there are strong branches and roots which are still roaming around freely.DCP VN Salve and ACP Prakash Wani who had a great jingalinga dance party with Chota Rajan and co are still roaming around freely. Gun Man Sanjay Dutt is winning hearts with his acting in MunnaBhai series.Super cops like Rathore who was responsible for a 14 year old girl -Ruchika's death is still roaming freely. Is it all over by sentencing Kasab to death? That spoilt brat would be more than happy to hang so that he could be happy with the 72 virgins. I wish he gets a surprise by meeting 72 male virgins.Do you remember Jaish-e-Mohammed militant Mohd Afzal? He was sentenced to death for the 2001 attack on parliament. He is still having fun behind bars eating mutton biriyanis which are a a product of the taxes that we pay to the Government. My ideas and opinions would be ignored for sure. They say that opinions are like Butt-holes. Everyone has one. This is my opinion. You might have yours. Feel free to state yours. I don't mind listening to it.

The Kasab verdict sparked a trigger on Twitter and a hashtag #punishmentforkasab became popular. Some of the tweets that caught my attention are added here

  • Make him date Mayawati
  • Make KASAB to inflate the MRF blimp using only his mouth!!
  • 48 hours in a locked room with nithyananda ( that is punishment for nithyananda)
  • make him listen to jeppiar's speech (That is not a punishment. That is entertainment)
  • make him watch "sura movie" hundred times ( Chronicwriter's next post is a review about this movie)
Chronicwriter also added a couple of tweets and all his tweets had some links to ipl.The ipl bug hasn't left him yet. These are his tweets.
  • make sreesanth to teach him to dance.. mutual punishment for both.
  • make rakhi sawant to give him a smooch
  • tie him to a wall and make Keiron Pollard to hit the cricket ball at him
  • hang him next to the MRF blimp
  • make him sleep between shoaib malik and sania mirza (You might think that Kasab would be lucky as he would have access to Sania. But you should also remember that Shoiab Malik would have access to Kasab)

Apparently Justice M.L. Tahalyani read out the 1,522-page verdict over almost three hours.He would not have read that much even for his BL,ML exams. That is actually a punishment for Tahalyani and not Kasab.

Mean while, Tamilnadu Chief Minister Karunanithi was caught red handed when he gave this rose bouquet to Mrs. Sonia Gandhi. It is also a bunch of yellow roses. I guess that the political babes have a weak heart for yellow roses.

Two years ago ,19 year old French player Tatiana Golovin shook the tennis world by displaying her red underwear in wimbledon. If you take a closer look at the underwear, you would realise that it is actually the famed red underwear of Chronicwriter. Now please don't link them both. Chronicwriter would not mind getting linked with the French Girl. But the girl will feel sorry to be linked with him.



  1. Hey! Am i the first? coooool!
    planning to enter politics in future are u?
    a different post with some serious thoughts , yet in the normal....humourous style....
    btw...red anywhere & everywhere is urs eh?


  2. wow...came here after a loong time..but Chronicwriter still sounds fresh and the same as he earlier was..!!

    thanks for sharing the part abt Kasab...i dont really uderstand why is our govt still fighting to hang him?? I think its high time dat we kill him...to show how we react when someone hurts our people..!1

    nyways...nice post dear..!!

  3. Going Afzal gurus way... Govt of India has asked hotel chains to bid for 5 year contract to supply mutton & beef biriyani to Kasab who came to Mumbai to act in Bollywood and to see (Akshay Kumar, age 47) AK-47 whom he has never seen in his life ;-P.

  4. hahaha........ how Chriz......... sooooooooper cool political humor this is :D

  5. LOL
    red undies yet again.
    And Mrs Swaraj hugging amma, that is so .... sucks.

  6. Last lines reminded me of Vivek's famed lines... "yenakku commisioner-a theriyum...aanaa avarukku yenna theriyaadhu! (:D)" Enjoyed the post, Chriz.

    Loved the one on Kazab, Malik and Mirza. :D

  7. Big welcome back to the red undie :)

  8. sarcastic political humour at its best...

  9. and the craziness continues :D :D
    man you got some weird kind of talent :P
    totally ROFLing post :D

  10. My take on Kasab's punishment, given the present conditions,
    "educate him once again"
    (if he has done it once. If not, then he has to start from nursery anyway in his next birth)

  11. U know what?? now that he has been sentenced,starts the painstaking wait to get him to the gallows.. :O

    Did Garvin really do that?? :O Shayy!! missed it.. :P


  12. I hope they learnt significant useful things by interrogating Kasab all this time. Otherwise I think it would have been best if he would have been shot dead with the others on the disaster day itself. Cheap, quick and fair. If the final output is the same, quickest algorithm with least resource consumption is the best :P

  13. I hope they learnt significant useful things by interrogating Kasab all this time. Otherwise I think it would have been best if he would have been shot dead with the others on the disaster day itself. Cheap, quick and fair. If the final output is the same, quickest algorithm with least resource consumption is the best :P

  14. Cool blog
    very interesting :))
    Lovely written ......


  15. WHy are you so much crazy about red underwear...


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