Mar 8, 2010

397. You know she is an Indian woman when

Note :John Gray's book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" triggered me to write this Post
Women are usually hot, because they belong to Venus and Venus is close to the Sun. But still they chose to come to earth to drink water and they never quenched their thrist. When Women came to earth, the species from Mars followed suit. Hence there is no life on Mars. The NASA/ISRO's claim, that they have found life on Mars is fake. Actually the original name of the planet was Anus. But the statement "women are from Anus" sounded so gross and hence the planet was renamed to Venus. Venus Williams is from the planet Venus

The perfect man according to the common Indian woman should be "Dark, Tall and Handsome". So the opposite of this should essentially be the features of a perfect Indian woman "Fair, Short and Ugly".
  • If an Indian guy is not Dark, Tall and Handsome he is an imperfect man ( Because he would be having all the features of a perfect woman)
  • If an Indian girl is not Fair, Short and Ugly, she is an imperfect woman.
This post is dedicated to all the perfect Indian women by an Imperfect Indian Man- "Chronicwriter". You know she is an Indian woman when
  1. She gives missed calls to her boyfriend and her boyfriend's phone bills are usually in thousands
  2. She sends lot of text messages to her boyfriend (Provided that she has free sms scheme)
  3. She thinks that she is Hot when she is Not.
  4. She takes much care not to reveal her cleavage or any part of her belly while draping a Saree, but she would boldly display the color of her Bra as her Facebook status message. (Just five things come to an Indian Man's mind when he is reminded of a girl's bra colour. They are 1. Breasts, 2. Mandira Bedi, 3. Nipples, 4. Breasts and 5. Breasts. Please stop being dumb. Men are Horny and nothing can be done about it. Even space scientists are trying to find if there is life on Mars so that they could kick all the men to Mars. But the search is going on for ever)
  5. She behaves like a girl
  6. She behaves like a Tom Boy
  7. She doesn't pay the food-bill when she is on a date with her boyfriend. If she is a lesbian, she would stay hungry.
  8. She ogles at married men like SRK, Hrithick Roshan irrespective of her marital status.
  9. She has many brothers even if those guys are not born to her parents. Ravi, Azhar, Dinesh, Rahul and Chriz are her brothers because they are ugly. How ever Binoy is not her brother because he is handsome
  10. She likes the sitcom FRIENDS.
  11. She reads books. (Men gaze at books)
  12. She watches porn movies with her girl friends,but when guys discuss about porn movies in public she says,"You are so gross"
  13. Her English vocabulary is far better than the average Indian Man.
  14. She has a blog and she writes about herself and she bashes men ( My lady-blogmates don't belong to this category. You girls are so sweet)
  15. She doesn't like anyone calling her "Aunty" even if she is in her mid forties.
  16. She knows that "Men are not from Mars". Apparently 90% of Indian men end up in Bars because of her.
  17. She says "I don't know" (Men! Please be careful of such women. Women! Please be careful of all men)
  18. She says "Cho chweet, Cute, aawww" very often.
  19. She demands for equal rights even though she knows that she dominates man
  20. She wears a Saree for special occasions in colleges, office parties and also for marriage functions (Indian men are so lucky)
Now please stop forming "Anti-Chriz" groups. I know any level-headed person can digest the above 20 points with a smile. But if you are still angry, I am ready to go to Mars.

I wish all my girlfriends, ex-girlfriends and future girlfriends a very happy women's day. Without you, we MEN would have been gay (happy)
- Chronicwriter

46 comments:

  1. a real gud one :), ur imagination is too gud .....

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  2. that was really a bad paint art, improve your graphics skills boy.
    most of your comments are going to upset few ladies for sure, but funny indeed.

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  3. lol...the last line was awesome!!!

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  4. Wow! I went mad laughing with this post.. Too good, Chrony!

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  5. lol :D

    I dont mind agreeing to all of the points.. after all we are woe unto men :D

    And a neccessity too. you guys would have to saliavate on anus.. if wasnt for women who provide breasts :P

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  6. @TEQUILA

    i always use my assistant MF Hussein to do my paint arts.. But now i miss him.. You gotta bear with such art work till i find some other assistant

    @lincoln,parth :)

    @mayz: i love women in sarees too :)

    @winnie : provide?

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  7. What a treat Chris! you just made my day! lmao!!

    *hugz*

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. che... che... male chauvinistic pig..

    So GAY! :)

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  10. typical Chrony post :D read after ages though! but u havent changed a bit hun :)

    hugzzzz :D

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  11. amidst all the enthusiasm, u messed up the books name (wrt the first line of the post)

    what does tht say about guys, chriz???? :p

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  12. ahem ahem..
    u shud be the wackiest critic i would hv ever come across..

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  13. except for one or two points..nothing applies for me! does that mean I am not an Indian woman? or ....please clarify..........

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  14. :P...ok i only wish happy womens day :)..

    urs..hemu..

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  15. No. 9 I hav objection....

    Rahul can't be called bro :D

    tat'd be like sinning :P

    Happy women's day...to all women ...
    :P

    and yeah anti chriz grpz..sue him for num 9 :P

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  16. Happy women' Dat to you too chrizzyy.. :P Nice post brw.. ;)

    Love
    Nikhil

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  17. ME:2,4(guys are such perverts! my bf had the same opinion as u...immature gittsss!!!), 7(sooo me!haha!),9,10,11,13,14(i know im sweet!),15(i never want to be called an Aunty!),16,17(SO TOTALLY ME!),18(yes yes YES!),19.

    NOT ME!:1,3,5,6(i don't "behave" like anything! i am a girl!),8,12(i just admit it if and when i did watch porn!),20.

    i guess im only half im a half indian woman =D

    im not an "anti-chriz" group supporter ;)

    take care..xox

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  18. hahahaha....
    oh my stomach's aching now...

    great insights!

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  19. Men will be men, and women will always be women. Any change not expected :D

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  20. She has a blog and she writes about herself and she bashes men

    haha....my readers woukd identify this one very well :D
    gr8 post! :)

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  21. You know TOILET Day is on same same day as International Men's day,19th november! :-)

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  22. She just keeps the book open and pretends to read it... there was girl i was once dating, she was reading "gone with the wind".I decided to ask her about the American civil war and her thoughts on the murder of abhram lincon.
    American civil was is when mexico attacked texas and the battle of alamo was fought.
    true true. Scarlet o hara must be rolling in her grave

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  23. hahaha!!! :D

    thanks...wish u the same too dude!

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  24. Dog!!! I hate you!!! But loved the last line... Thanks bro... Nice post (as always :))

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  25. That set my stomach aching now! Hilarious stuff! Last line was a killer!

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  26. keen observation dude... too specific... ^_^
    iJust can't stop laughing... XD XD XD

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  27. Perfect :P and ya all Indian gals are like this.. nanum dhan nanum dhan :P

    Ahem.. I like TALL, FAIR , HANDSOME, ATHLETE BUILD guy :P

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  28. Hey good one Chriss :)
    But a lota points missin... She's an indian women when....

    * She hates love til she falls madly head over heels for a guy

    * She dumps d guy n says am not gonna love again

    * She asks her husband "Am I that fat lookin???"

    * She tells her husband "My dad saw so many guys far better than you... God knows Y I chose u over dem al!!"

    * She cries over a lota soap operas n even talks abt her fav ones in her work place!

    **** so many more :P

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  29. Dude! What the hell! I am like this baring some of the points. This suckz. You are responsible for my looooowwwww confidence now. Grr!
    Great Post,waise. :D

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  30. lol :D you're right about missed calls ;)

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  31. that took lot of thinking i guess chriz.... bt i really fell off for the last line... men wld b gay if women werent there!! cheers

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  32. Truly Hilarious I must say ...
    Humor always welcome for me ..nd ur good at tht ..

    in b/w awaiting ur comments on my new poem ..

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  33. with reference to the point 4
    (Even space scientists are trying to find if there is life on Mars so that they could kick all the men to Mars. But the search is going on for ever)
    Thats coz we know that once they find out life is there we will have to leave and we dont want that....we are the scientists....


    Amazing posts...

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  34. oh god! such good observation.. i guess you can just go on and write a book on woman!

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  35. Couldn't agree more with you on almost 80% of the stuff, though there are exceptions which are made-up by Sins Very Kool ;))

    Two thumbs up !

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  36. a lot of info about women...!!! i think ur doing ur phd in this field...!!!

    but I don't agree by everything u wrote...

    it was as if written by an mcp...i mean not categorizing...but not all the facts were true...not all women are the same...

    happy women's days 2010...!!!

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  37. Mind Balasting.. youver tooo good yaarr to good

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  38. OK that last sentence almost gave me abdominal hernia from spasm of LOLing out loud!!! Great post dude!!

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