Advice: School children are requested to adopt the examples given in this post in their school to become Out-Standing students and thus become the future leaders of our country.

School Days

School Days would be the most memorable phase in every one's life. Most of you would have passed out of school long back. But still when you read this post, you will remember those days for sure.

The fun all of us had during those days would be still fresh in our memory. The crushes on teachers, First love, class room bench fights, blackboards, stealing chalk pieces, Physical education classes, eating under the tree while crow shits on your lunch box, spraying ink on your classmate's white uniforms, assembly prayer prayer , writing nicknames of teachers on toilet walls,copying in exams, farting in classrooms and acting innocent, threatening your nemesis not to talk with the girl you like, class tours, gangs in classes, slam books, last bench rowdy boys are some of the incidents that float in the top of my mind when I think about my school life.

But one incident that all of us loved the most would be the three hour class session that happen in labs. The first real exposure to team work begins in these labs. The labs are places where experiments are done. Talking about experiments, I remember a quote by Dave Barry.

Males have a lot of trouble not looking at breasts. What is worse, males cannot look at breasts and think at the same time. In fact, scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. This was proved in a famous 1978 laboratory experiment wherein a team of leading male psychological researchers at Yale deliberately looked at photographs of breasts every day for two years, at the end of which they concluded that they had failed to take any notes.

Now I have every one's attention. Anyway I am not gonna write about Breasts. I will reserve a separate post for it. This post is all about Lab-Experiments. I do not know much about the experiments that happen in Biology lab. But I have a pretty good idea about the fun we had in

  • Physics Laboratory
  • Chemistry Labs and
  • Computer Science Labs.

It is always better to remember the "Ten commandments of Lab Experiments". Every student should be aware of the Ten commandments

  1. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
  2. When you don't know what you're doing, do it with confidence and make it neat.
  3. Experiments must be reproduceable, they should fail the same way each time. (It failed for your seniors and hence it should fail for you. In future it will fail for your juniors also.)
  4. Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.(You have paid for it. Just break it)
  5. To do a lab really well, have your record report done well in advance.( If you have a girlfriend, it is easy. Researches reveal that girlfriends are reliable record writers)
  6. If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question. ( Albert Einstein did that. You can do it too)
  7. Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.
  8. Team work is essential, it allows you to blame someone else. ( A trait that will make you a great boss in the future)
  9. No experiment is a complete failure. At least it can serve as a negative example.(The apple that fell on Newton's head. It should have been a coconut)
  10. Multimeters, Magnets and lenses are devices that can be flicked.

Physics Lab

This is the same place where the dirty dream "I will become an engineer/scientist" is planted on the brain cells of innocent students. The whole class is divided into groups and each group will have 5 students at least .One of them will be a hard worker and the remaining 4 would hardly do any experiments.

  • The bread board was introduced to me in a physics lab. The physical balance was one experiment no one has any clue about. But it was fun to play with weights of different dimensions. Then there was another experiment with prisms. This experiment happens in a dark room inside the physics laboratory.Again no clue why the experiment is done. The girls always do the experiment and the boys always fool around ogling at the girls. There are exceptional errors in boys too.
  • Any experiment which involves magnets are always full of fun. I remember an experiment in which magnetic field of a bar magnet has to be determined using a compass. The girls rack their brains to arrive at the right measurements. But this is when we fun lovers go near them with other magnets in our shirt pockets. The magnetic field experiments have always been a disaster.
  • Then there was this experiment which involve playing with electricity. We insert both the ends of a wire into the plug socket and switch it on and due to short circuit the power goes off. The usual interrogation starts and the whole class pays the fine.
  • Playing with magnifying lens is fun too. Focus the light beam as a small dot on a girl's hand. She will feel the pain and this is the moment the boys rush to give her a helping hand. Yes someone gets lucky to touch her hand too. That someone will become the hero of the day among the boys. I have touched a few hands too.
  • There are lab supervisors (Lab ASSistant teachers) who always spy on us. It is easy to cheat them. They are on constant rounds to check if we were doing our experiments properly. They would just check our data sheet. So we used to populate of data sheet with lot of data. For some experiments plotting a graph is necessary. When you do not know the exact data, it is always easy to first draw the curve and then plot the data on the curve.
"Physics lab is not a place to do any sort of physical experiments"

Chemistry Lab

The Chemistry lab is the only place in the entire school where Girls would look very pretty in the eyes of Boys. Chemistry lab is again the only place where one can fart freely and not get caught at the same time. Just smell Ammonium Sulphate and you would agree with me.

  • The glass beakers with the Label "Ethanol, Methanol" are teasers for the boys. The chemistry lab gives all weird ideas about alcohol. The lab is full of dangerous chemicals and when crazy teenagers occupy it, it sure brings out wacky results.

  • Phenolphthalein solution and titration experiments are fun. It is a different way of playing with colors. Sometime when the lab in-charge is not present, the festival of Holi is celebrated with great joy and laughter.

  • Mixing mercury with Sodium Nitrate and concentrated sulphuric acid produces an effect which is indescribable. I have not tried it during my school days. I request the present school kids to try it at their own risk.

  • Be very careful about any container that is labelled as "Concentrated _______ Acid". For evil pleasure sake, just empty the contents of the container in the sink and fill them all with water. Then strike a challenge with your friends saying that you can drink Concentrated Acid. You will instantly become the Hero of the class when you accomplish the task.

  • You can also steal some costly salts from the chemistry lab. It gives you sadistic pleasure. But do not steal sodium chloride salt from the lab. It is nothing but the cooking salt that you can find in the kitchen at your home. You can also smuggle cooking powders like "chilly, coriander, turmeric" to the lab and mix them with the salts in the lab.

What ever you do, maintain a very good rapport with lab assistants. They help you during practical exams.

Computer Labs

Computers... Computers... Computers... When I took computer science as my specialisation subject in school, Computers were just making inroads into the education system. I wanted to become an IT geek. I have ended up as an Blogging creep.

  • "Basic" programming language was the most happening programming language then. If one could remember the DOS prompts by-heart, then he was treated as a computer genius.

  • The first thing that comes into my mind is playing games in the computer lab. Dave,Maria, Prince of Persia and skyroads were the major games during those days. If you know the cheat codes, you are a computer genius.

(Chronicwriter is the guy in Blue T-shirt. This picture was taken during his MBA days in the computer lab)

  • The Internet porn was also making inroads. The corner computer in the computer lab are always used to view Internet porn. The lab assistants also joins in for company. When girls are around, the boys seldom use the corner computer. Any boy using the corner computer, automatically became the bad boy among the girls.

  • Switching off the computer when someone types a long program gives you the kick. Also unplugging the keyboard and mouse wires from the socket would make the user go bonkers for sometime. I don't know much about the computer labs of the present generation students.

You can share your lab memories in the comment section.

-Chronicwriter