Feb 21, 2010

393. Those Lab Experiment Days

Advice: School children are requested to adopt the examples given in this post in their school to become Out-Standing students and thus become the future leaders of our country.

School Days

School Days would be the most memorable phase in every one's life. Most of you would have passed out of school long back. But still when you read this post, you will remember those days for sure.

The fun all of us had during those days would be still fresh in our memory. The crushes on teachers, First love, class room bench fights, blackboards, stealing chalk pieces, Physical education classes, eating under the tree while crow shits on your lunch box, spraying ink on your classmate's white uniforms, assembly prayer prayer , writing nicknames of teachers on toilet walls,copying in exams, farting in classrooms and acting innocent, threatening your nemesis not to talk with the girl you like, class tours, gangs in classes, slam books, last bench rowdy boys are some of the incidents that float in the top of my mind when I think about my school life.

But one incident that all of us loved the most would be the three hour class session that happen in labs. The first real exposure to team work begins in these labs. The labs are places where experiments are done. Talking about experiments, I remember a quote by Dave Barry.

Males have a lot of trouble not looking at breasts. What is worse, males cannot look at breasts and think at the same time. In fact, scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. This was proved in a famous 1978 laboratory experiment wherein a team of leading male psychological researchers at Yale deliberately looked at photographs of breasts every day for two years, at the end of which they concluded that they had failed to take any notes.

Now I have every one's attention. Anyway I am not gonna write about Breasts. I will reserve a separate post for it. This post is all about Lab-Experiments. I do not know much about the experiments that happen in Biology lab. But I have a pretty good idea about the fun we had in

  • Physics Laboratory
  • Chemistry Labs and
  • Computer Science Labs.

It is always better to remember the "Ten commandments of Lab Experiments". Every student should be aware of the Ten commandments

  1. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
  2. When you don't know what you're doing, do it with confidence and make it neat.
  3. Experiments must be reproduceable, they should fail the same way each time. (It failed for your seniors and hence it should fail for you. In future it will fail for your juniors also.)
  4. Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.(You have paid for it. Just break it)
  5. To do a lab really well, have your record report done well in advance.( If you have a girlfriend, it is easy. Researches reveal that girlfriends are reliable record writers)
  6. If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question. ( Albert Einstein did that. You can do it too)
  7. Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.
  8. Team work is essential, it allows you to blame someone else. ( A trait that will make you a great boss in the future)
  9. No experiment is a complete failure. At least it can serve as a negative example.(The apple that fell on Newton's head. It should have been a coconut)
  10. Multimeters, Magnets and lenses are devices that can be flicked.

Physics Lab

This is the same place where the dirty dream "I will become an engineer/scientist" is planted on the brain cells of innocent students. The whole class is divided into groups and each group will have 5 students at least .One of them will be a hard worker and the remaining 4 would hardly do any experiments.

  • The bread board was introduced to me in a physics lab. The physical balance was one experiment no one has any clue about. But it was fun to play with weights of different dimensions. Then there was another experiment with prisms. This experiment happens in a dark room inside the physics laboratory.Again no clue why the experiment is done. The girls always do the experiment and the boys always fool around ogling at the girls. There are exceptional errors in boys too.
  • Any experiment which involves magnets are always full of fun. I remember an experiment in which magnetic field of a bar magnet has to be determined using a compass. The girls rack their brains to arrive at the right measurements. But this is when we fun lovers go near them with other magnets in our shirt pockets. The magnetic field experiments have always been a disaster.
  • Then there was this experiment which involve playing with electricity. We insert both the ends of a wire into the plug socket and switch it on and due to short circuit the power goes off. The usual interrogation starts and the whole class pays the fine.
  • Playing with magnifying lens is fun too. Focus the light beam as a small dot on a girl's hand. She will feel the pain and this is the moment the boys rush to give her a helping hand. Yes someone gets lucky to touch her hand too. That someone will become the hero of the day among the boys. I have touched a few hands too.
  • There are lab supervisors (Lab ASSistant teachers) who always spy on us. It is easy to cheat them. They are on constant rounds to check if we were doing our experiments properly. They would just check our data sheet. So we used to populate of data sheet with lot of data. For some experiments plotting a graph is necessary. When you do not know the exact data, it is always easy to first draw the curve and then plot the data on the curve.
"Physics lab is not a place to do any sort of physical experiments"

Chemistry Lab

The Chemistry lab is the only place in the entire school where Girls would look very pretty in the eyes of Boys. Chemistry lab is again the only place where one can fart freely and not get caught at the same time. Just smell Ammonium Sulphate and you would agree with me.

  • The glass beakers with the Label "Ethanol, Methanol" are teasers for the boys. The chemistry lab gives all weird ideas about alcohol. The lab is full of dangerous chemicals and when crazy teenagers occupy it, it sure brings out wacky results.

  • Phenolphthalein solution and titration experiments are fun. It is a different way of playing with colors. Sometime when the lab in-charge is not present, the festival of Holi is celebrated with great joy and laughter.

  • Mixing mercury with Sodium Nitrate and concentrated sulphuric acid produces an effect which is indescribable. I have not tried it during my school days. I request the present school kids to try it at their own risk.

  • Be very careful about any container that is labelled as "Concentrated _______ Acid". For evil pleasure sake, just empty the contents of the container in the sink and fill them all with water. Then strike a challenge with your friends saying that you can drink Concentrated Acid. You will instantly become the Hero of the class when you accomplish the task.

  • You can also steal some costly salts from the chemistry lab. It gives you sadistic pleasure. But do not steal sodium chloride salt from the lab. It is nothing but the cooking salt that you can find in the kitchen at your home. You can also smuggle cooking powders like "chilly, coriander, turmeric" to the lab and mix them with the salts in the lab.

What ever you do, maintain a very good rapport with lab assistants. They help you during practical exams.

Computer Labs

Computers... Computers... Computers... When I took computer science as my specialisation subject in school, Computers were just making inroads into the education system. I wanted to become an IT geek. I have ended up as an Blogging creep.

  • "Basic" programming language was the most happening programming language then. If one could remember the DOS prompts by-heart, then he was treated as a computer genius.

  • The first thing that comes into my mind is playing games in the computer lab. Dave,Maria, Prince of Persia and skyroads were the major games during those days. If you know the cheat codes, you are a computer genius.

(Chronicwriter is the guy in Blue T-shirt. This picture was taken during his MBA days in the computer lab)

  • The Internet porn was also making inroads. The corner computer in the computer lab are always used to view Internet porn. The lab assistants also joins in for company. When girls are around, the boys seldom use the corner computer. Any boy using the corner computer, automatically became the bad boy among the girls.

  • Switching off the computer when someone types a long program gives you the kick. Also unplugging the keyboard and mouse wires from the socket would make the user go bonkers for sometime. I don't know much about the computer labs of the present generation students.

You can share your lab memories in the comment section.

-Chronicwriter

18 comments:

  1. I remember once a sweet smelling chemical in the lab which reminded me of nail polish. I used to smell it everytime we went to chem lab. Another funny incident was when most of the classmates of mine had NaCl as the test sample during the internal exams. I thought even i would get the same, hence I skipped the testing of elements thinking I will just put a pinch of the salt in my mouth and write it off as NaCl. But to my horror, I had the most disastrous taste in my mouth, much to the amusement of everyone in the lab. Realizing my folly, I ran off from the lab, my hand covering my mouth. I did successfully detect the salt later, though I do not remember its name :D

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  2. Commandments 6, 7 and 8 - even if they are interpreted seriously which I know would be blasphemous when you are around ;) - would make a lot of sense. :D

    On a blogging spree, Chriz??? :D. Good good! Cheers...

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  3. wow...;)....nice....hehe....reely liked d part o magnetic experiments in d physics lab...chuckle.....good going!!

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  4. certainly reminded me of my school days...my college lab sessions are mere xtensions of the school days..so i'm gonna hav fun for sumtym nw :P

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  5. I've never been inside physics, chemistry, biology labs.. only comp lab... had good fun :P

    Nice to see you write posts regularly :)

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  6. Well co-ed dark room experiments ended up in very nice interaction sessions with the fairer sex in our days too, but ultimately it was the male misfit inside who drew all their attention(for the results), coz he did all the experimentation.

    And I remember how sweet chlorine smelled!

    And unfortunately, our computer science lab assistant happened to be a lady. We were doomed both ways.

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  7. Coincidence..I have my lab exam tomorrow. :|

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  8. very nice post.reminded me of my school days. one more rule: 'Always remember to borrow the lab record from your seniors'. Helps both ways - to have fun in the lab and complete all experiments. I have never submitted my physics observation on time.. never. chemistry lab... we were condemned beyond salvage by our chem teacher.. :D bt in our school, the lab assitant will always leak the salt name and the titre value for every batch :D :D god bless those guys!!!(guess it happens in all schools) Biology lab was fun. everyone in our gang never identified any slides in the practical exam 'coz we never wend to have a look at the slides when they were displayed during the reqular lab hours.. the lab assistant finally helped us out :D.. those were the days.. thrill n fun.. miss em...

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  9. ha.. ha... wat happened to that post about blog publicuty?

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  10. Whoa...!!

    Wt a post....
    U made me travel back...!!

    :)

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  11. Yale ? hmm ! Some place it must be ! To do experiments like the ones that you mention !

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  12. Did I smile? ...I fucking laughed so hard on this post! (and yeah..i read the post!)

    I must admit..EACH word on that post is true when it comes to my school time! ..well not the breast part..i don't look at breasts..im a girl.. you get the point..moving on then.. =)

    I agree that physics lab was the one where "team work" really did pay off. Yeah..i was one of those who did nothing..lol..watched the smart-asses do the work..and then asked my friend for her lab file so that I could copy her "neat" work! And yeah.. our teacher always complained... "if one kid has the wrong result...EVERYONE in the class has the wrong result!"....lol... amazing days those were!

    Chem lab was full of that bad smell man..infact.. all the commerce and arts section started whining.."oh man..it's their chem lab period again!"...because of the smell! =D Our whole school stank like anything..lol! and omg...titration was my FAVORITE experiment!..one thing i absolutely hated: stupid pipettes... the ones we had were made of glass...and we had to suck from one end to fill it up and then put our thumb on the part we sucked from...so that it didn't go back into the container... sometimes i sucked so hard...that the stuff ended up in my mouth..it tastes bad.. =| and the stupid salt tests!..fuck..i mugged them up so bad!... and some cunts (guys of course)... ruined my tests when i was away from the table by mixing other salts into the test tube!..assholes...

    I don't know much about computer labs..cuz i was doing biotech..but till 10th we had computer labs as well... what did i do? ...i just looked at the pics of Muzammil Ibrahim..(from the siyaram suitings ad or something)..i had the hots for him at that time! other than that..nothing much..i wasn't into porn much you see... but yeah..the guys were always huddling over one computer..i guess they were the porn-watchers..lol..

    a very good post!..LOVED IT!

    take care.. =)

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  13. This is time travel at its best!

    Nothing left to comment or share. You have ghost written everyone's experience in labs... completely!

    Hilarious man!

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  14. a real sulphuric, hydrochloric post!! cheers man!

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  15. ha ha, good one chrony, nostalgia stuff.

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  16. Brought back one very prominent memory when I was at St. Joseph's, Blore. Chemistry Lab. Great placed to get burnt rite!

    Started off by checking the spatula was hot or not!

    A swollen finger and no medicine box/burnol/ice/lot of running water (old age lab...grrrrrr....)

    Dipped my finger in Ammonium Nitrate. Something about it being able to absorb heat came to mind then.

    Must say I did learn something that day. The college did not have a single tube of Burnol that day.

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  17. yet another good post!! and ur followers crossed the double double century mark first...congratz!!

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Did you smile? Do let me know about your views of this post. Please read the post before commenting