Feb 9, 2010

389. what is a condom?

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to any politician may or may not be intentional. Still if you think that I have crossed my lines in this post, I would like to warn everyone that I am a close associate of Balls-Talk-Ray.

The following three politicians are like the three lions in the Ashoka Chakra. The Ashoka Chakra is the National Emblem of our country.

1. Man Mayhem Sing - Programmed Robot, remotely controlled by an Italian lady.

2. Navy Joot Sing Seedu - A loud speaker who was born on Amavaasai (No moon/New moon night).

3. Laddu Pressed Vaday - Entertainer of the century.

Some of you might act smart and say that the National emblem has four lions. You should remember that the fourth lion is always hidden. If you haven't seen the fourth lion yet, please take a look at the picture below.


This mammal in the blue shirt is the fourth lion that hides behind the other three lions. Let us call him V.J. Kunt . He is not blind. He has eye infection and hence he wears shades. He is an engounder (encounter) specialisd (specialist). He soots (shoots) Bagisdan (Pakistan) Derrorisds (Terrorists) at will. That is why he is always hiding behind the other three lions.
He is very brainy and he doesn't even leave a bitch (Female dog). In this picture, he is threatening a bitch with a dummy gun. The bitch is caught in a frozen state. V.J.Kunt used this precious opportunity to measure the vital statistical information of the bitch. The bitch was later found dead near Anna Salai in Chennai. Forensic reports reveal that the bitch had been raped by a Gorilla before it was brutally murdered.

When V.J. Kunt learns from his car driver that Balls Talk Ray and Show Rock Kaun are making news everyday,he decides to do something that would make him famous too. So he immediately calls for an emergency meeting with the other three lions of the country. So the four lions meet together for a small brainstorming session with the sole aim of regaining their lost popularity.
V.J.Kunt (VJ): Good Eebning Ladis and Gendelman.
Laddu Pressed Vaday (Laddu): Arey! We all only genital men. No ladies here
V.J: zorry. Good Eebning gendleman
Navy Joot Sing Seedu (Seedu) : The necessity of the usage of the pluraility of the word in English language makes it essential for leading politicians like us to use the correct terminologies in a conversation. Uniquely and Individually, I am a gentleman. But when we are more than one we are not gentleman; we become Gentle Men. I take this opportunity to correct the error in V.J.'s statement
V.J: Whad did you Zay? I didint UndarZtand!
Laddu: He ish sshays , your englis very bad.
V.J : Oh. Bud (But) Thiz iz an emercenzy meeding. We Zud Dizcuz about Pobularidy.
Seedu : That sounded more like Puberty. I am in a rutt now, sitting with uncivilised, uneducated, illiterate scums of this soil. MayhemSing, why dont you speak up?
Laddu : He musht be waiting fhor Sania Ji's permisan to talk.
Seedu : Sania Mirza is the darling of the masses and her dressing sense is as sweet as a sugarcane melting through the thighbone of Carmen Electra.
V.J: Laddu waz not zaying about the tenniz blayer. He waz menzioning aboud dhe Idalian Lady
Man Mayhem Sing (Man) : Sania ji has given me the permission to speak. Good morning everybody.
Laddu: Sania, very gud Figure hai.
Man : What about Rabree?
Laddu : Rabree , very bad shape hai.
Seedu : With a bad shaped figure, if you can produce hundreds of children,What would happen if you get a good figure? William Burton once said, "Never raise a hand to your children - it leaves your groin unprotected" So please use condom to avoid children.
Man: But what connection does that statement have? I haven't seen you making any sense with your talk. Can we come to the topic for the day.
V.J : Terrorisds endered India and Gilled Many beople in Mumbai.
Man: That's an Old news.
Laddu: Sall we see a picture? (Movie)
Seedu: I watch movies taken in Hollywood. Shakespeare once said that an excited cow give milkshakes...
#Thud# ( A loud noice. V.J.Kunt hits Seedu's head with a log and he goes bonkers. He then drags him out of the room. Laddu uses this opportunity to ask a secret question to Man-May-Hem Sing)
Laddu: What is a condom?
Man: Even if i explain to you about a condom, it is too late. You have already done enough damage to the country.
Laddu: Give me a cloo (clue) ji. Is it a fruit?
Man: It is not a fruit. It is a contraceptive
Laddu: What is a contraceptive?
Man: If only your parents had used it, I wouldn't have to answer all these questions from you.
Laddu: No one tell me anything. I learn myself. Bharath Mata ki jai. OK. Dont tell this to VJ.Kunt.
Meanwhile V.J.Kunt disposes Seedu's conked body in a dustbin and comes back to the room.
V.J.Kunt : Mizan Agamplizd (Mission accomplished)
Laddu : V.J.Kunt. Do you really romanje wij your heroines?
V.J.Kunt : Agdually, They Lyg me and the ladis always Love me.
Man: Can we talk something fruitful?
Laddu : Fruits? I Remembar about condoms now. Hey condom Kya hotha Hai?
V.J: Dont talk bad wards. I will zoot (Shoot) you.
Man: Don't get angry VJji. He spoke in Hindi. It is not a bad word.
V.J.: O.K. Then I will not Zoot him
Laddu: But, What is a condom?
----------------------------------------------------
Are you like Laddu too? Don't know what a condom is? Check this video. Most of you would have seen it. But if you have not seen it yet, it is time that you saw this one.
-Chronicwriter

26 comments:

  1. hahah...i am on the floor now...lol....dude is he vjkunt i thought vijaykanth :P...i think i should revise my english after this...hope i wont forget abcd ...and now u have thought everyone wat a condom is :P...

    **They Lyg me and the ladis always Love me.

    rofl :P....

    my god i am again falling :P..

    urs..hemu..

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  2. made my boring afternoon light ;)

    thanks yaar

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  3. i now like v;.j.kunt more than ever...

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  4. Now that's Chronicwriter at his best!
    VJKunt's speech is awesome

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  5. Hey Man Mayhem Sing (Man) please allow VJ kunt to zoot Laddu. atleast, this way one can stop population!!!!

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  6. who the hell is this guy with a kunt??

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  7. sathiyama... ppl are thinking am mad here.... y bro this sirupu veri :D..bakistan!! sami! yapa!!! apadaiye thayagam padam mathiri :D..inbormasion elam vitututinga!

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  8. gud one man, :) :) hats off to ur imagination

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  9. ayyodasaami! :P. V.J. Kunt sounded like some German philosopher - only the name.

    What do you have against Siddhu or poor Sania for that matter? :D. Give them a break sir. Prason. lol.

    Enjoyed the post.

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  10. aah....is Condom the "Cone (of) Dome"?
    If Man hadn't told Laddu, he could have had is own cricket team. He's falling short of 3.

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  11. enna irundhalum enoday cabdun a ipdi la damaze paniruka kudadhu... :(

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  12. wat a way to spread awareness ! :P

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  13. I must admit. This is one of the most hilarious ways of enlightening people about condoms! VJKunt?? Hahah, too good.. BTW I seem to be missing your other darling. King Kong, whats his name again? He isnt gracing your posts these days.. Why why?

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  14. ROFL...
    that was absolutely hillarious... i am in splits :D

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  15. ha ha ha. Good one again... the Sania n Seedu kissa was fabulous, not to mention about Kunt...

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  16. :) i read. i laughed. now ill sleep :P good one bro :)

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  17. Good one indeed..!

    Visit me at http://www.anandmaddy.blogspot.com/

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  18. good one..u've found a new flavor of humor...:)

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  19. Fandasdick!! Heelarius!! When writing hilarious posts like this you are the best.. There is no one like you

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  20. Rofl... VJ Kunt!!! super peru.. kalakal post... (vayiru kalangirichi sirichi sirichi!!!)

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  21. "and now u have thought everyone wat a condom is :P..."
    A very relevant comment :P

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  22. awesome post, u r back with kick ass posts now.

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